Misbehaving
Page 11
He was breathing hard when he turned around to look at me. I couldn’t read him. He had me so confused right now. Why hadn’t he just let me leave?
I started to say something, and then I realized Jason was shaking. Oh shit. He was going to hit me. I had seen Hank shake from being so angry before. He always ended up slapping me or throwing me down.
Backing away, I wondered if I could possibly outrun him in these heels.
“They’re looking at you. Cameron was touching you. He was too close to you,” Jason said in a low, scary voice. I gripped the edge of a chair and decided I would use it for protection. I could hide behind it and maybe shove it at him before I ran. It would slow him down.
“Then Hensley points out that you aren’t wearing panties. There’s no line, and the way the dress is hugging your ass, there is no way you could be wearing panties. They were all looking then. And Cameron’s hand was on your hip. His fingertips were brushing your ass. He shouldn’t have touched your ass.”
Okay, so he was upset over the fact that I was commando. I would leave if he would just let me. “I’m sorry. I don’t wear panties with this dress. Didn’t realize it was a big deal. Just let me leave. I’ll get home. If you’ll just let me out of here.”
Jason frowned and stared at me. Why was this a confusing concept to him? He didn’t want me here, and I was going to leave. Very easy.
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
I took that moment to move behind the chair. His gaze flicked to the chair, then back at me. His frown turned to confusion. Good thing was, he wasn’t shaking anymore. That was always a good sign.
“You regretted bringing me, and I should have left. But then Cameron asked me to dance and you were busy with that girl, so I said okay. I didn’t mean to make you mad. I thought you’d be glad to get me out of your hair. I wasn’t aware the panty thing was a big deal. Sorry. Just let me out of here and I’ll go and we’ll be good.”
I had talked down an angry Hank enough to know the tone of voice to use. Jason didn’t have the crazed look in his eyes that Hank got. That was a relief.
Jason’s eyes went wide and he took a step toward me, then stopped. He ran his hand through his hair and cursed while looking at me in horror.
“Did you . . . ? Are you . . . ?” He looked down at the chair again, and then at me. “Why are you behind that chair?” he asked with disbelief in his eyes.
Did the guy have multiple personalities? He had gone from angry to horrified in a split second. “In my experience, getting behind something you can use as protection is the best course of action,” I replied carefully.
Jason put both hands in his hair, and he froze as he stared at me. We just stood there like that. I wasn’t sure what the shocked look was for.
“Motherfucker,” he finally said, dropping his hands and hanging his head. “You thought I was going to hurt you?” he asked incredulously.
Of course I did. “You were shaking. Guys shake from anger before they strike,” I pointed out.
“Strike?” he repeated, still staring at me. “God, Jess.” He sank down on the bed and dropped his head into his hands. What was wrong with him? He looked upset. Like I had hurt him, not the other way around.
I didn’t move, but waited on him to say something. Finally he lifted his head and looked at me. “I would never hurt you. I don’t hit women. I’ve never . . .” He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that you’ve obviously been hit by guys enough to assume I would do it. I can’t comprehend the fact that someone would hit you.”
Oh. Yeah, well, that made sense. He’d never seemed like the kind of guy who hit, but then, I tended to make guys so mad they snapped and lost it, so I wasn’t sure if I had done the same to him.
“You were angry,” I explained.
He nodded. “Yeah, I was angry. Cameron was touching you. Guys were watching you like you were their last meal, and I didn’t like it, and I didn’t fucking like the fact that I didn’t like it. This . . . I can’t . . . We can’t have anything more than this. I don’t want to care if other guys look at you.” He stopped and fisted his hands in his lap.
“I know this is just a little fling. I’m not expecting more,” I said, suddenly wanting to reassure him.
He just sat there staring at me. I moved over to sit beside him now that I knew he wasn’t about to take a swing at me. “I wasn’t dancing with Cameron to make you mad. I was trying to get out of your way. You seemed like you regretted bringing me, and I was trying to salvage your night for you by not being a burden.”
Jason closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. When he opened them, he looked at me. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You felt that way because I made you feel that way. This is my fault.”
I didn’t argue with him. He was right. He had made me feel that way.
“I don’t get possessive. I can’t get possessive. I don’t have time for that. You are making me feel that way, and it doesn’t fit into my world. I was trying to distance myself.”
He didn’t want to share my body. So that was his problem. Well, I didn’t want to share my body either. And I wouldn’t be sharing it with him anymore. He needed to distance himself? Then fine. I needed that too.
“Okay. Then we get through the night. Take me home, and that’s it. You can even send me home tonight if you like. I don’t mind the bus.”
Jason groaned and turned away from me. “I’m not putting you on a bus” was all he said.
“Fine. Then you get me home however you want to.”
Jason reached over and took my hand in his. “I don’t like this,” he said.
And he thought I did? I wasn’t going to admit it, though. I shrugged. “It is what it is. And I’ve had fun.”
Jason wouldn’t look at me. “How do we distance ourselves?”
“We start with very little touching and of course nothing sexual. I won’t dance with anyone else if that bothers you, but you can’t dance with anyone else either. To keep it fair.”
Jason turned his head to finally meet my gaze. “Nothing sexual?”
“Can’t have distance if we’re naked and wrapped around each other,” I replied.
Heat flashed in Jason’s eyes, and I stood up before he could act on that. As much as I loved to be in his arms, I also knew that no matter how many times I offered myself to him, he would be leaving me. I was not someone he would ever have a relationship with, and it was time I protected myself.
“That’s gonna be fucking impossible,” he said.
No, it wasn’t. He wanted distance. He was going to get it. “It’s the only way,” I replied.
JASON
I placed my hand on Jess’s lower back as we walked back into the party. I could feel the eyes on us—or more like, on her. Every damn guy here was looking at her, and I had no right to care. Which sucked. I wasn’t going to think about it.
“You thirsty yet?” I asked her.
“If you go to the bar and get sidetracked, someone may approach me, and I don’t want to be rude to your friends,” she said.
I reached for her hand. “I’m not leaving you alone. They’re all fucking vultures,” I replied, taking her with me.
She went with me willingly. “What do you want to drink?” I asked her.
She glanced at the bartender. “Do you have whiskey?” she asked hopefully.
“Straight?” the guy asked, smiling at her like an idiot.
“Please, I need it,” she replied.
He poured her more than the normal and slid it to her. Even the damn hired help was ogling her. “I can’t believe you’re drinking whiskey,” I said.
She stopped with the rim almost to her mouth and gave me an amused grin. “Yeah, well, I don’t know what else you expect from me. I’m not one of them,” she said, waving her glass out at the crowd. “My momma ain’t a trust-fund baby. She’s a stripper.”
I heard someone choke beside me, no doubt from her statement. She took a much
longer drink of whiskey than I’d ever seen anyone take.
“Her momma is a stripper?” Hensley asked as he stared at her in openmouthed amazement. As if Jess hadn’t already drawn attention, this piece of information was going to go through the room like wildfire.
“Shut up,” I replied, and picked up my drink, needing to hover over her and protect her from the horny males who were just going to get worse when they found out her momma’s profession.
“I can’t believe you announced that,” I said to her quietly as I led her away from the bar.
“Why? They’re never going to see me again, and they’ll all talk about you like you’re a badass for bringing a stripper’s daughter commando to one of their uppity parties. And whoever I’m supposed to be making jealous, I assure you, she is fuming. You’ll have her back in your arms in no time. Just get rid of me first.”
What the hell was she talking about? Make who jealous? Had someone told her about me and Johanna? That relationship had only been in Jo’s head. All I had done was have sex with her once, months ago. “What are you talking about?” I asked her.
She took another long drink. “I’m talking about the reason you brought me to this thing. I couldn’t figure out why you’d want me to come as your date when you could do so much better. I get it now. I’m the bad girl from the wrong side of the tracks meant to drive the ex-girlfriend mad with jealousy.”
That was what she thought? Shit. Of course it was. The insecurity that she was so damn good at hiding was still there. She had been used so many times in her life that she expected it. I had only wanted to spend some time with her and treat her differently. But in the end I had treated her the way she expected.
I grabbed her drink and set it on a tray as it went by, then led her to the door. I’d call later and apologize for leaving. Right now I was getting Jess out of here so we could talk.
“Where are we going?” she asked as I pulled her out the door and toward the elevator.
“We’re leaving,” I replied.
“Why?”
“Because I need to get you alone so I can explain to you how very wrong you are.”
She stiffened beside me. “If that means sex, we aren’t doing that anymore.”
I started to say something, when the elevator opened and I watched her ass as she walked inside. Just imagining it bare under that silky material was driving me fucking crazy.
When the elevator doors closed, I backed her up against the wall and pressed against her so she could feel just how turned on she made me. “No panties, Jess. No fucking panties. Don’t tell me we aren’t having sex anymore.”
She opened her mouth, but the elevator door opened and I reached for her hand and pulled her outside. I had forgotten to buzz the driver. I texted him and then pulled Jess over to a dark corner of the lobby.
“I didn’t bring you here to make anyone jealous. I brought you here because I like spending time with you,” I told her.
She bit her bottom lip and I watched, transfixed, as she let it free. “But you want distance now,” she said, breathing hard.
“This can’t happen. Us. It won’t work. I don’t have time. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you,” I told her, sliding my hand down her hip until I finally touched the silk-covered bare ass of hers. “Fuck,” I whispered.
“Don’t. Please. If we can’t . . . If this is over when we get home, then don’t.” Her chest was rising and falling so rapidly I was positive she was about to pop free of that dress. If she could just wait until we were in the limo, I would make sure to give those sweet nipples all the attention they needed.
“But I want you. So damn bad,” I whispered before lowering my head and pulling her lip into my mouth and sucking on it. Women paid thousands to have lips this full and plump. I couldn’t get enough of them.
She kissed me back, pressing closer, and I felt my chest ease up. She was giving in.
“Your car is here, Mr. Stone,” a voice said behind me. Jess backed away immediately. I tucked her hand in the crook of my arm and led her out to the waiting limo. After the door closed, I reached for her again and she moved away, shaking her head.
“No. Don’t. I can’t do this,” she said. “It’s just sex for you, but I’m afraid it became more for me. I didn’t want to admit it, but after tonight I have to face it. I . . . This is going to hurt. You’re leaving. It’s going to hurt. I can’t make it worse. So don’t. Just, please, I need to go home.”
Chapter Fourteen
JESS
The flight home had been lonely. I had tried to close my eyes and sleep, but my heart hurt too much. I hadn’t even told Momma I was on my way home early. But by the time Kane had retrieved my bag from the limo and handed it to me, the front porch light had come on and the door opened.
I thanked Kane and walked away without looking back. I didn’t want to watch the car pull out of my driveway. Even though Jason wasn’t in it, I still felt like it was him leaving.
Momma stood at the door with her arms crossed over her chest, watching me. She was trying to figure it out. When my feet touched the bottom step, the first tear fell.
“Oh, baby,” she said, rushing to meet me and pull me into her arms. “I was afraid of this.” I let her lead me inside and to the sofa, where she held me close, patting my head like a child.
I needed the comfort. I had walked right into this, and I didn’t regret the memories, but I knew I wasn’t ever going to be the same.
“I know this hurts. But remember, he will never forget letting you go. It will be one of his biggest regrets,” she said against my head.
I wanted to smile, because leave it to my momma to believe a rock star’s privileged brother would regret letting me, of all people, go. A mother’s love really was unconditional. “He was kind,” I told her. I didn’t want her to think I was crying because he had been cruel.
“I know. I saw it in his eyes when he came to get you. That’s how I know he’ll regret this.”
I held on to her arms and let all the pain go. She let me cry and didn’t say anything else. My chest felt like it had exploded, but the smell of her soap and perfume was comforting. Finally I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.
* * *
I didn’t leave my house for over a week. I worked on costumes for the club and sat in my room for hours, staring at the walls and remembering. It was ten days after I said good-bye to Jason that my bedroom door swung open and in sauntered Krit. He was the lead singer of the local band, Jackdown. He was also Trish’s little brother. We had grown up together. Trish and my cousin Rock had dated for most of our lives. Then they’d gotten married. Krit was the epitome of a man whore, but he was hard not to love.
“I fucking refuse to sing tonight if you’re not there. Won’t do it. Those motherfuckers can get their rocks off somewhere else. I’m sick of looking for your angel face and not seeing it,” he said as he plopped down on my bed and stretched his legs out in front of him, then put his hands behind his head. “Place is pointless without your sexy ass out there dancing. I don’t have you to make the girls jealous. Who the hell am I supposed to kiss like I’m fucking to drive the women mad if you aren’t there to grab? You’re screwing up my game, love.”
I couldn’t help but smile. I turned my head to look at Krit, who was now lying down beside me. “Did Rock send you?” I asked.
Krit made a mock face of horror. “Rock? Hell no, Rock didn’t send me. When the fucking hell do I do anything Rock tells me to? Never. That’s when. I came because I missed you. I need my tongue-fuck buddy. Come dance and give Green a hard-on. He misses getting one while we’re onstage. You always did it for him. Although, that tongue of yours must remain mine. Besides, Green would come in his damn jeans like a schoolboy if you planted one on him.”
Green was the bass player in Jackdown. Krit loved to harass Green about the one time he and I had gone out in high school when I had broken up with Hank. Green had told me he loved me after one date, and once Krit found out abou
t it, Green never heard the end of it.
“You don’t need me to get women. They throw themselves, their panties, their bras, and anything else they can take off their body legally at you every night,” I reminded him, as if he needed reminding.
“I miss you, though.”
“How much are you getting paid to do this?” I asked teasingly.
“I was hoping to settle up payment with you. A hot fuck in the back room while I’m on break tonight. That always makes me sing better before the next set. Or hell, baby, we can do it here. I’m game,” he replied.
I laughed this time. I knew Rock was behind Krit’s showing up. There was no way Krit had noticed I was missing. He was just trying to make me laugh, and it was working.
“If I stripped naked and crawled on top of you right now, you wouldn’t fuck me, and we both know it, It never ends well for us. We’ve been there, done that,” I told him. We had tried that out when we were younger. It wasn’t that it was bad, because it was actually really good. We were just both so unstable that we couldn’t deal with a relationship. We were just good at the sex part. Then there was my inability back then to get over Hank.
Krit let out a hard laugh. “You wanna bet? Try me.”
Well, maybe he would. The guy was a sex fanatic.
“Come on, don’t tease me. Get naked and crawl on top, love.”
I punched his arm and he groaned, then gave me an evil laugh. “If you’re not gonna fuck me, at least come tonight.”
Going to Live Bay with everyone there watching me and wondering about what had happened didn’t sound appealing. I wasn’t in the mood for guys, either. I didn’t want to dance with any or have any of them grope me.
“I’m not in the mood for guys,” I told him.
Krit shot up in bed and looked down at me. “Holy hell, love. Are you saying you want a woman? ’Cause I’ll pay shitloads of money to see you with another woman. Fucking cut off my left nut to watch that.”