I turned to face the speaker, the babe still in my arms. Elenna was standing there, wearing a long, white, flowing gown. She tilted her head and regarded me.
"The answer lies within your grasp," she said.
"What do you mean, the answer is within my grasp? You know how to save him. Why will you not tell me?"
"He is coming. Run!"
She disappeared, as did Sabine's son. I was standing at the end of a long hallway. A figure silhouetted at the other end came towards me. His footsteps echoed off the walls and rang through me. Johai came into view and regarded me with a wicked gleam in his eye.
"You know what you must do, Maea." He took a step towards me, and I took a step back. I ran down the hall and out a door. I exited into the garden, and through the bushes and over flower beds, I fled. Wind was whipping through my hair, and I stopped at the cliff side. Johai approached me at a relaxed pace. "Who shall it be, you or me?"
"I cannot," I said, but the wind seemed to steal the words from my mouth.
He took another step towards me, and I backed up but found no cliff left. I looked over the edge, the sheer height making me dizzy. When I turned back, Johai was upon me. He pushed me, and I fell from the cliff face. I flailed, my arms making a desperate grab along the crumbling rock face, but the stones slipped through my fingers, and I fell. The ground drew closer with every second. I closed my eyes just before the impact, my hands thrown up to protect myself.
I woke on a lumpy mattress in an inn room. It was still the dead of night, and it took a moment for my eyes to adjust and my heart to stop racing. A dream, nothing more, I told myself. I was lying to myself; such a vivid dream was not without meaning. I rolled over onto my side and saw Johai sitting up and leaning against the wall just beneath the window. Small cracks of light, from the moon outside, slid through the shutters and illuminated parts of his face, leaving others in shadow. The result made his eye sockets appear sunken and ghostly, and his face too pale.
I swallowed my fear and said, "Johai, are you awake?"
He turned his head towards me, and the light illuminated him from the back, and his face was cast in shadow, destroying the mask-like visage.
"Yes," he said, "is something wrong?"
"No," I said and sat up and tucked my knees underneath me. I paused and then said, "I had a dream about Sabine and her child."
He did not respond right away. The floorboards creaked as he got to his feet, and his tread was light as he crossed the room and lit a candle on the table. His bedding on the floor was untouched, and I realized he had not slept at all.
"Was it a prophetic dream?" he asked at last and came to take a seat on the cot beside me.
I wrapped my arms around my torso, and in the dim candlelight I found it hard to look at him. My dream was too fresh in my mind.
"I believe so," I said.
"Do you want to share?" he prompted.
I shook my head. It will not change anything, I wanted to say. It is more of the same. Is there really no way to save Johai?
"I found a merchant who is willing to hire me on as a steward. He has a room for us, and Beau can work as one of his swords for hire, if you are planning on staying in the city longer."
I whipped my head towards him, and my eyes widened. "We decided we would try to leave after Jon's fete."
"True, however, you did not discover what Adair is planning to do here, did you?"
I looked down at my hands folded on my lap. I had not told Johai or Beau about Sabine's letter to Jon. The betrayal cut too deep for me to share. Did Sabine, too, deceive me? Did she play a role in Sarelle's death? What had Jon promised her?
"No, all I know for certain is he is doing something for the Order, nothing more."
"You want to know what Adair plans and stop him, do you not?" Johai asked.
I peered up at him and furrowed my brows. He knew I did; it was almost as important to me as saving him. I could not forgive Adair for his betrayal. Just as I could not sit by and let him bring about the destruction of both our kingdoms with his ambition.
"Saving you is my first priority," I said in a lame attempt at defending myself.
"You cannot keep lying to yourself, Maea. There very well may not be a way..."
I shook my head, and my loose hair swung around me. "I cannot believe that."
He grabbed my face with both his hands and forced me to face him. "You know it is true. You prophesized it. The truth is right here... I am doomed."
Tears stung the back of my lids. It was a bitter truth that I had been avoiding facing, but Johai would not let me look away.
"We have an opportunity here to do some good. Adair needs to be stopped, and you have the tenacity to stop him."
I nodded and wiped away my tears with the back of my hand.
"I promised you that I would be with you until the end, and I will, but you must promise me when the time comes, you will do what needs to be done," Johai implored me.
As much as I wanted to deny his request, I could not. The truth had been lurking at the back of my mind for some time now, yet I refused to face it. I was a coward.
I sniffled and lowered my lashes. "You know I am more mulish than that."
He let his hands fall to his side, and he sighed. "Maea, you would have been better to never have met me."
Would I? I wanted to ask. I remembered little of my past before Johai took me off the streets, but from what I did remember, I did not think I would have lived a better life. After my mother killed herself, I was alone, a child fending for myself on the streets. I would most likely have been dead if he had not taken me as he did.
Before, I would have rebuked him and reminded him of the kindnesses he paid me. Now I felt there was no use for such things. It felt in many ways that we had reached a dead end. I would root out Adair's plots in Sanore and then what? We had talked of going to Jerauch, but Johai had closed that door. He did not want us to risk anything else for him. For Johai, the road ended for him in Sanore. How can I kill him? I thought. When would I kill him? I peered at him from the corner of my eye. Should I take the dagger and slit his throat? Is that what the first diviner would want of me?
A gut feeling told me that would not be the way, if it came to that. I was torn in two. I wanted to save him, yet I did not know how. I also knew that his death may inevitably be on my hands. There was one sliver of hope, I realized.
"There is a woman, a du-toath." Though she did not complete her training, I added silently. "She is a player at the playhouse. She told me the first time we met that I was prophesized to break the unbound circle. Perhaps she knows how to break this curse, Johai."
He looked at me for a moment before turning his head away. "What could she know that the other did not?" His shoulders were taut, and he did not look at me as he spoke.
"There's something about her that is different than the other du-toath. I feel as if she knows more about me than I know about myself. I think she can help." I was not sure who I was trying to convince more, Johai or me. She had been in my dreams twice now; that could not be mere coincidence.
He sighed. "I will meet her, but only if you promise to give up this hopeless quest when she, too, cannot yield any answers."
I wrung my hands and thought about his counteroffer. I knew there was no use arguing with Johai about this; he had made up his mind on the matter.
"If she cannot help, then I will give up and accept my destiny." I felt a weight upon my chest, making it difficult for me to breathe. I just hoped Elenna could help us.
The next day, Johai joined me at the playhouse. I had sent a message to Elenna that morning with a boy that hung around the inn, looking for odd jobs. He returned with an acceptance from her not an hour later. The walk was tense. Johai had not said much since the night before, and I suspected he was still opposed to my chasing after unobtainable answers. I gave Beau the afternoon off, and from the grim expression he paid me, I did not think he appreciated the thought. In truth, I wanted to keep this matt
er private. I knew Johai trusted Beau, and I had begun to trust him as well. However, I could not get Sabine's letter out of my mind. Beau was loyal to Sabine; that I knew without a doubt. He found the duke's study without much trouble. If Sabine and Jon are allies, does that mean Beau is in league with them as well? I could only speculate, but it put me ill at ease to think he was protecting us. He was advantageously positioned to betray us if he wanted to.
When we arrived at the playhouse, I pushed the dire thoughts from my mind. I rang the bell and waited. Johai stood with his arms crossed over his chest. The door swung open with some urgency, and Antoinette was standing there in a draped gown the color of ripe blackberries. It had a sheen to it that caught the light coming from the open door. Her wide smile faded into a small frown.
"Illusino..." She looked past me and out into the alleyway beyond. "I thought it might be someone else." She shrugged, and then her dark eyes landed on Johai. "Who is your handsome companion?" She grinned, and her eyes danced mischievously. She clapped her hands. "Oh! Is this your husband?"
"No," I said just as Johai said, "Yes."
Antionette's brows drew together above her petite nose. "Oh... I see..." Her eyes darted between us, and then she smiled. "Elenna has been waiting for you, come in." She motioned with her arm, and we strolled past her.
I ducked my head and pretended to not have slipped up. How could I be so foolish! I chastised myself. Either Antionette did not notice or did not care. I hoped it was the former. I went down the hall towards Elenna's personal quarters, and Johai trailed after me without comment. The door to Elenna's room was closed, and I rapped on the wood, which echoed in the room beyond.
"Come in," Elenna called out with her lyrical voice.
I pushed the door open, and Elenna was sitting in front of the fireplace. She rose with an effortless motion and came over to greet us. Her long, sable hair was unbound and fell over her shoulders in ripples. She wore a loose, ivory gown that fluttered as she walked.
"You have some concern you wish to speak with me about?" she asked me and gathered both my hands in hers.
"Yes, it is about my..." I fumbled over the word husband and glanced at Johai from the corner of my eye.
Elenna looked over to him, and then her eyes widened. "My, how the first mother leads our paths," she said, looking at Johai with a small smile. "She is the recipient of the necklace, I assume?" Elenna asked him.
I looked to Johai in confusion. What are they talking about? Johai has never met Elenna before, has he?
"You were the Biski priestess at the book store?" he asked, and he seemed nonplussed by the proceedings.
"Have you two met before?" I asked, frustrated by being left out of the conversation.
"I see now how tangled fate truly is," Elenna said as a way of reply. "Perhaps we should sit before we begin to unravel these tangled threads." She motioned to a pair of cushions on the floor across from a third, which was placed before the fireplace.
I did as she bid, as did Johai. Elenna sat down across from us, and her gown billowed around her as she sat upon her cushion. She crossed her legs in front of her and folded her hands in her lap. No one spoke, and I fidgeted, unused to sitting on the floor and wondering how Johai and Elenna seemed to know one another.
"How do you know Elenna?" I asked Johai finally.
"A few years ago or so, I went to Thelmn in the southern province of Danhad, looking for a book about the specter. At the book shop, I met Elenna. She gave me the necklace... the one we used to take away your memories."
Elenna leaned forward, propped up by her elbows on her knees. "Is that the fate that came of my gift? I can see now the lingering effects on Maea. Have you remembered fully yet?" She tilted her head to look at me curiously as if I were some kind of oddment. Her change in regard of me seemed strange. Before she had been reluctant to share; now she seemed eager to help, or so I hoped.
"Yes... I mean, I remember my past though everything feels... distant," I said and lowered my gaze.
"That is normal with memory charms. You severed the connection between your past and present, I suspect. It should return in time." She smiled and revealed her even white teeth.
"Thank you." I balled my hands in my lap. I was not interested in talking about my folly. "I apologize in advance for being forward, but that is not why we came here."
She shook her head, and her midnight hair rippled and caught the light from the fireplace behind her. "You want to know more about the thing which haunts your young man; am I correct?"
What changed? Before, she would not tell me anything. I glanced sidelong at Johai; did it have to do with him? "Yes, as I have told you before, we seek a way to break his bond with the specter."
"I am sorry I did not help sooner, but after seeing you perform, and meeting Johai again, I know I cannot avoid the inevitable. I did not take my vows and become a full-fledged du-toath, but I am fully trained. We are taught to look beyond the outward and look inside." Her dark almond-shaped eyes fell on Johai. "You already knew that, did you not?"
"I suspected as much," he replied. He sat with his back straight and his arms still folded over his chest.
"Do you know how to undo this bond?" I asked. Something about the familiar way she addressed Johai irritated me.
"Among my people, there is a story of what lies dormant inside him. Some call him the harbinger of darkness. There are some tales where he is death himself. He has many names, but in each tale there is one theme." She held up her finger. "He is destroyed by a woman who can see into the past and future."
The fine hairs at the back of my neck stood on end. I reached up and rubbed them down.
"He who wears the night as his cloak shall rise among the children of the first mother when the daughter of sunlight is slain by love and when east and west become one. He shall hold the world in his palm, and all shall cower before his power unless the daughter of the blood can smite him." Elenna continued. "Or so the prophecy goes among my people."
It was the same dire prediction I had heard time and time again, and it did not sit well with me. "Are you saying I must kill him?" I did little to disguise my frustration. Why does every lead end up at a dead end? Was this truly our fate?
"No. The prophecy says you must smite the darkness not the host."
"What do you mean? He has no corporeal form. There is no other way to kill him than to kill the host," Johai said with venom.
Was it too much to hope?
Elenna did not answer his question straight away but spoke as if she had not heard him. "Among my people, before a du-toath takes their oath, they must see the oracle. The day after I met Johai, I went to see the oracle. She told me I would meet the next dreau and that our destinies were intertwined. She foretold I would play a pivotal role to stop the rise of the darkness."
"What kind of role?" I asked.
She shook her head. "The oracle did not say, but her words terrified me. I ran away not long after that and came to Sanore, where I joined this playhouse. That was two years ago, and here you are with the man who carries the darkness within him."
I touched the hollow in my throat where the necklace had once laid. "If what you say is true, then destiny is in escapable. I have no choice but to kill him."
"No, that is not true. I believe you will save him and destroy the specter at last. You are destined to be his salvation, not his destruction. You were destined to break the unbroken circle to stop the continual rise and fall of the darkness. For thousands and thousands of years the daughters of the blood have stopped the rising of the darkness by killing the body, but each time he returns more vengeful than the last. He does not die but goes back to the land beyond, where he waits and plots. I think you can find the way to stop him for good. You are destined to break the circle, and I shall help you find out how."
Tears stung the back of my eyes. It was everything I had hoped for and more, but Johai was being too quiet. I reached over and squeezed his hand. He looked at Elenna with a cold e
xpression.
"You should not give her sweet words with false hope. I have been damned from the moment I opened the book and summoned him forth."
"Perhaps, but what if the time of unbreaking is upon us?" Elenna countered without flinching.
"And if it is not and we unleash this monster upon the world?" he asked. His gaze was narrowed, and his eyes flashed black. I could not be sure if it was Johai or the specter speaking.
I stood up and loomed over Johai. "If he is unleashed, I shall kill you myself," I said, and this time I meant it. I would not live in fear of the specter any longer. I would find a way to save Johai. Elenna's words had uplifted me; Johai would not die. I would save him. "How do we break the circle?" I asked Elenna.
She lifted her hands. "I cannot say. We shall know when the time comes. The clues have already been there in your dreams and visions. You must figure out how the pieces align to discover your answer."
"When we came to Sanore, I dreamed of Princess Sarelle and, since then, Queen Sabine's promised son, the child of two crowns."
Elenna nodded. "They are connected somehow. You will need to discover more about the princess' death to find out how they are linked to you."
I looked down at the scrubbed floor. The first diviner had warned me as much. I felt like the deeper I travelled, the more tangled the threads became.
"I foretold that their union and the child of two crowns would spell destruction on the day that the moon swallows the sun," I said.
"Then we have time yet," Elenna said, "the child of two crowns is yet to quicken in the womb, and as for the moon and the sun, that day shall be on the summer solstice next year."
"How do you know?" I asked in wonder.
"My people track such things, and we have long marked a dark presence with the coming of the next day of blackness."
We had the day and the hour now to find the catalyst, the pins of the plan. Sarelle's golden hair like rays of light spinning around her came to mind. "Sarelle's death, can it be related to your people's prophecy? Is she the daughter of sunlight?"
"Mayhap, it is hard to say. Rumors say she was slain for political reasons, but if her death were linked with the prophecy, it may lead to answers we need to save him. All the pieces are a greater part of the whole, and within the grander design we may see the answers."
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