“But we were a happy family… I find it hard, Papa, to understand how you and Mama suddenly have nothing in common.”
“That’s just the point, it wasn’t sudden … and may I say, Dominic, much as I respect you, I don’t want to talk about all the differences between Mama and me.”
“Why?”
“Because if I do, it would appear I was defending my position while making your mother seem wrong and that I wouldn’t do.”
“But you do feel she was wrong … wrong enough to leave her.”
“Please, Dominic, don’t push me into saying a great many things I believe are better left unsaid.”
“So you’re just going to leave it by saying you’re incompatible and let it go at that?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m not, Papa … I know there’s a great deal more to it than merely being incompatible.”
Dominic was trying to hold down his desire to say, look, don’t question me in that tone of voice, but checking his impulse, he answered, “Since you want to pursue this, say what you want to tell me.”
“Alright, Papa … there’s another woman … obviously, isn’t there?”
Dominic answered slowly, “Yes … since you already know … yes.”
“And you left Mama for someone else … I’m sorry, Papa, but I think that’s unforgivable.”
“Dominic … up to now I’ve tried to be patient and explain as best I could—”
“But you haven’t explained a thing—”
“Alright, you listen to me, Dom, and carefully … I didn’t leave your mother for another woman, because when two people have something important between them then there never is a need for another woman. In all the years of our marriage, I never cheated on your mother once. It’s only when there is no marriage, a man goes elsewhere.”
“What were the terrible differences you and Mama couldn’t resolve … I simply don’t understand.”
“That’s because you’re a son, not a husband.”
“So give me something to understand … as a husband.”
“You’re forcing me, Dom, to tell you things I don’t want to.”
“What did Mama do that was impossible to live with?”
Dominic, not looking at his son for a long moment, said, “Alright. From the time we were married, your mother fought me all the way on every important thing in my life. I’m a man, Dom, a man who wants to go as far as my abilities can take me. I’ve been poor, terribly poor in my life. I’ve made a name for myself and I did it the hard way, but your mother wanted me to do it her way. I think you’ve known I always wanted to get into politics, but I’ve stayed away because of her. She would have made me into a dependent, frightened little man if she could have, but our biggest and greatest problem is both of us are too strong-willed and that’s bad for a marriage. That’s the dilemma in our lives.”
Dom sat trying to see his mother in the role of the domineering woman, but somehow found he could not. All he could see was the good woman trying to make a home, raise her children and be a patient wife, remembering, during his growing up, that his father was away more than he was home. He loved his father, but in his heart he felt his father had misjudged his mother. “Well … I don’t know what to say. Please forgive me, Papa, but I think you’re making a terrible mistake. Maybe you don’t realize it now, but I feel this woman has been a very great influence in your leaving Mama. I hope it’s not one you’ll regret.”
“Dominic, mio figlio, this woman was not the reason … she was the result.”
“Please, Papa, I guess I’m confused … but tell me, what does she have to offer you that Mama doesn’t?”
Dominic laughed sadly, “Oh, mio figlio, you’re asking questions to which I have no answers.”
“There have to be some answers, Papa.”
“The only answer I can give you is she gives me the peace I need in my life… I know that doesn’t satisfy you, but you asked.”
“You’re right, Papa, it doesn’t satisfy me… Papa?”
“Yes, Dominic?”
“You talked about politics before … well, you know under these circumstances, that would be out for you … The public doesn’t take too kindly to politicians who have mistresses.”
“Well, in that case, Dominico, I’ll just have to content myself with trying to elect the men whose positions I would have liked to occupy … no one can have everything.”
“Then you mean it’s over between you and Mama?”
“I’m afraid so … my Dominico, I’m afraid so.”
Dom got up and put his arms around his father, holding him tightly around the shoulders and said, “I still love you, Papa.”
“And I love you, my oldest son, my pride … my name.”
Mama Posata knocked on the door, interrupting them. “What’s goin’ on in here. You’re missin’ all the fun. Now, come on, the two of you,” she said, taking Dominic by the hand and leading him back into the living room, where the singing still continued.
Dominic looked at his watch. It was ten… Victoria would be home. He excused himself and went to the kitchen. Stella was just finishing when she saw him. The guilt written in her eyes … had it not been because of her stupidity, her clumsiness in being caught that morning, her signore would still be here, living in his house, the head of his table.
He, of course, would never know how frantically Catherine had tracked her down, living with her friends from Italy in North Beach, afraid to leave even for a breath of fresh air for fear she would be apprehended by the immigration department. But Stella went with the package if Catherine was to try and get Dominic back. So in Catherine’s subtle way, she told Stella how much she regretted what had happened, that in no way did she hold Stella responsible for anything and what had happened that morning was simply the case of a distraught wife. She insisted Stella come back to the place where she was wanted and needed … her home, so with no other choice Stella packed her small belongings and returned.
“Stella,” Dominic said, putting his arms around her, “I’m sorry you suffered because of me.”
“No … no, signore, I have asked the Madonna for forgiveness because I was responsible for your pain … please forgive me.”
Oh, God, this dear soul wanted to protect him. He let her go, then sat down at the table and wrote a check for five thousand dollars. She trembled when she saw it and refused to take it, but Dominic insisted.
Handing it back, he said, “Stella, you know where the bank is, California and Sansome.”
“What bank?”
“Ours … you know the one.”
“Yes,” she said with eyes downcast.
He took her face in his hands and said, “Look at me, Stella, never be afraid to look anyone in the eyes.”
“Si, signore.”
“Alright … don’t tell anyone about this but I want you to have money of your own so no one can throw you out into the streets penniless again … you understand me?”
“Si, signore.”
“Good. Now, tomorrow I want you to open a savings account and I will continue to add to it … and the next thing, I want you to become a citizen. I’ll take care of that, too.”
“Why are you doing this for me, signore, I’m only a servant—”
“No, to me you are a very special lady … and a very good friend and that many friends we don’t have in life.”
She took his hand and kissed it.
“Please, Stella, my hand you don’t have to kiss … only the Pope’s … now, arrivederci, Stella, sleep well.”
“Arrivederci, signore, and may God be with you.”
“Grazie, Stella,” he said, leaving the room.
When he sat in the car alongside of his mother, driving her home, he was grateful to her that she had said nothing about the way the children looked when he left or how wrong he was. She mentioned nothing except what a lovely day it had been, how happy she was they were together, but that was his mother… Stopping in front of her flat,
he came around to her side and opened the door. When she got out, she kissed him good night, “God bless you, Dominic. I’m proud to have a son like you,” she smiled.
“And I’m grateful to have a mother like you.” He waited as she walked up the stairs and disappeared.
Getting back into the car, he drove away with thoughts of Catherine, seeing her in his mind’s eye. The way she had underplayed the whole affair, trying to copy her Mama, the gentle Southern lady … “Dominic, we’re all so happy to have been together this evening,” as he was leaving … he wanted to say, thank you, very much, Catherine, for your hospitality … it was really something I could have lived without. Shaking his head in the dark … yes … how well I remember your graciousness … whoremaster … patrone to a whore … come on, Dominic, knock it off … that’s enough.
When he let himself in, Victoria was not home. Feeling deserted, he undressed and got into bed. Looking at the clock, he realized it was almost twelve … he began to worry if anything had happened … an accident… he got out of bed and poured himself a drink and sat down. Now it was twelve-thirty. The palms of his hands began to sweat. Where the hell was she, he asked the silent room as he paced the floor? If she wasn’t home in another… then suddenly he heard the key being turned. It was one by the time Victoria opened and shut the door behind her.
“Hi, darling,” she said, taking off her shoes. Flushed with pretended excitement, she kissed him. “Let’s have a drink … oh, you already have one. In that case, I’m going to, too. Bet you had a wonderful time,” she said as she poured herself a scotch. “I certainly did, with all my family and friends … it was simply great… best turkey and … the dressing … you wouldn’t believe it, so festive. So terrific … so really terrific—or did I already say that?” She hiccoughed, “Excuse me, must have been something I drank … or ate.” Dominic sat down and watched as she finished her drink, then poured another. “How ’bout you, darling, feel like a little refreshment?” she asked unsteadily.
“No … in fact, I think you’ve had enough.”
“’nough of what… I think we should give thanks. It’s Thanksgiving, Dominic … time to be ’appy … to Thanks … there I go again, repeating myself.”
“Victoria, come to bed.”
“To bed with you … you wench!” She laughed, “Dominic, you’re dominating me.”
“You’re drunk, Victoria. Now, let me help you get into bed.”
“Drunk! How can you say that?” she slurred, “insulting me that way. I was never inebriated in my whole life … in my whole crazy, stupid, mixed-up life.” She laughed, and laughed until she cried.
Dominic took her in his arms and carried her into the bedroom where he lay her down, hovering over like a child.
The crying had sobered her. “Oh, Dominic, I’m acting so stupid … like a real ninny. How do you put up with me?”
“I’m the one who should be asking that.”
“Oh, God, Dominic, I missed you so. How do I get over that… how do I reconcile myself to that… how?”
“I don’t know because today was just as lonely for me. It’s plain hell being without you.”
“But what can we do?”
“I wish I knew the answer to that one.”
“My mother was so wrong … I want the whole matzo ball and when I can’t, I act like a spoiled, deprived infant who just had her shovel and sand pail taken away.”
“Honey, you don’t have to be so brave just because you got slightly tight tonight. It’s little enough for what you have to put up with.”
“But, Dominic, this moment with you is all the intoxication I need … wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could just make time stand still?”
“And how many times I’ve wished that, but I think this is the toughest time of the year. If only we can get over the holidays, then we’re going to Mexico for a few weeks on a cruise.”
“Oh, Dominic, how wonderful.”
“I’ve had it up to here with everything.”
“Everything?” she asked, snuggling closer to Dominic.
“Everything, except you,” he said, kissing her erect nipples, then holding her close, feeling her body yield to his, making them one.
7
THE MONTH OF DECEMBER came all too soon and once again it was a time for Dominic to spend Christmas Day away from Victoria. But this time she was resigned, thankful she had a family she could go to as well.
The Rossi ménage was all assembled around the huge tree, opening presents, and once again Catherine played the role of the contented wife and mother pretending that nothing was different than in years gone by, only this time, she took care to be ever so slightly more attentive to Dominic than at Thanksgiving.
After dinner, she found Dominic in the study, relaxing with Dom and Tory. “What’s goin’ on in here with all my men?”
“Nothing,” Tory said, “just discussing politics.”
“Is that what you’re doin’… I think you ought to let your Papa relax today and not have to talk or think about such things …”
Dom stood up and looked quickly at Tory, who got the message, then making some excuse they left, leaving Mama and Papa alone. Dominic was not at all grateful for what they considered a time for estranged parents to be alone, but he remained.
Catherine looked all shimmery in her gold and green lame as she seated herself across from Dominic. “You’re lookin’ fine, Dominic, better and more rested than I’ve seen you in a long time.”
“Thank you,” he answered, his voice flat, which Catherine pretended not to notice.
“How about a little Cointreau to settle your stomach after that sumptuous meal?”
“No thank you.”
“Sure now?”
“I’m sure.”
“Well, I think I’m gonna have a little …” Pouring herself a drink, she said lightly, “Stella’s just gotta be the best cook in the world … don’t you think so?”
“Yes …”
“Now, Dominic, tell me, what was all that about, all that politics and all.”
“Well, like you said before, today’s not the time to discuss world affairs.”
“And you’re right … what do you think of the boys … so grown up and handsome and brilliant… just like their Daddy.”
“I think I will have that brandy,” Dominic said.
“Why, of course.” Handing it to him, she said, “Aren’t the children just simply incredible?”
“Just incredible.”
“Dominic, did you get a letter from Roberto?”
“No …”
“That’s strange … I forwarded it to your office.”
“Did you … well, I didn’t get it.”
“That’s too bad. I suppose with the Christmas mail, you’ll probably get it next week.”
“How is he?”
“He’s doin’ just wonderful and happy as can be.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Wait till you read the letter. It’ll do your heart good.”
“I’m sure.” Then there was silence between them.
Dominic gulped down the brandy.
“Here, let me get you another.” Before he could protest, he found the glass filled and in his hand.
“Dominic?”
“Yes?”
“Dominic, I know this has been difficult for you comin’ home like this …”
“Yes, it has.”
“But don’t you think enough time has gone by that we could be just a little more friendly when we have to see each other?”
“That isn’t so easy.”
“I know, but the children feel it, in spite of all the … well, pretense.”
“I’m afraid that’s the only way we’re going to make it… I can’t cut myself up into a million little pieces. I can only be me—”
“But don’t you ever remember the good times. Shouldn’t that make you just a little more … friendly?”
“When were the good times, Catherine?”
“While the children were growin’ up and we had all those wonderful holidays together.”
He didn’t answer.
“You mean all those years made no impression on you, you never recall … the birthdays, the happy times don’t mean a thing?”
He sighed, “Look, Catherine, there’s nothing to talk about, what I do remember are a lot of other things I’d rather forget—”
“I don’t want to argue with you, Dominic. All I’m askin’ is for you to try and forget the bad and remember the good.”
“What I’m trying very hard to do, Catherine, is not to remember anything, except the fact that I’m here doing what is expected of me.”
“You mean then, there isn’t a chance that you and I can share at least what I remember as some of the happiest times of my life with you?”
“Catherine … you’re not a fool and neither am I. What’s past is past. It can never be relived. If we had those good times, as you put it, we wouldn’t be in this position now.”
“So you’re totally through. Am I understandin’ right?”
His shoulders slumped. Finally, he said, “Yes, Catherine, you’re right. It’s all over. It really was a long, long time ago.”
She sat, thinking Mama was mistaken. She had underestimated human nature. Dominic was not Daddy and havin’ a temper at this moment or a fit wasn’t goin’ to bring him back. He would do his duty, be the best father he knew how, but he was never comin’ back and it would be childish to think he was. But she was going to remain the charming lady, if it killed her, “Well, Dominic, I think we should join the others.” With that, her head held high, she walked ahead of Dominic across the marble hall back to where the festivities were going on and joined in, although she knew later she’d cry for a very long, long time.
Victoria stretched out on the deck chair in her bikini, feeling the delicious sun and sea breezes upon her body. How marvelous to be so completely relaxed. It was so peaceful and quiet as though there weren’t a care in the world. She reached over and held Dominic’s hand without saying a word, and there they lay, feeling the oneness of each other. At last she had come to terms with herself about Dominic’s children, knowing what part they played in his life … not that she had ever doubted his love for her. And now she had come to terms with reality.
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