by Jenni James
Did I detect a sort of malice in her voice? “Did you wish he had?”
She plastered on a fake smile and walked a little faster. “Of course not! Why would I? I mean, he’s one of the most popular guys at school, and he could totally outdo stupid Harrison Crawford if he wanted to. It wasn’t like he needed to compete. I’m just grateful he finally remembered to ask me at all!” With that, she stomped off, leaving a lot of confused stares following after her in the crowded hall.
One girl stopped me. “Who’s taking Loni to prom?”
I just shrugged, put my head down, and headed to my next class. It wasn’t my fault she wanted to rant publicly in the hallway, was it? Maybe she and Zane weren’t trying to keep everything a secret anymore. Who cared, anyway?
I rounded the corner of the hallway and ran smack-dab into some guy. Papers went flying everywhere. “Sorry!” That’s what I got for keeping my head down.
“Hey!” he shouted, clearly angry. “What are you doing?”
Everyone around us started laughing.
I felt like such an idiot. “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” I dropped my stuff and began to collect his papers. “I was thinking about something and ran right into you.”
“Thanks,” he grumbled as I handed them to him. Then he looked at me. His face went white. “Oh, Maralyn! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t mean to get so mad.”
I grinned wryly and shook my head. “I’m not Maralyn. She’s my twin.”
“Oh! You’re the girl Zane talks about all the time. Wow. You really do look just like your sister.”
“Uh—thanks.” Was this one of Zane’s friends? “Do you know him?” Okay. Sure that was probably not one of my brightest questions, but I wanted to know how he knew him.
“You don’t know who I am, do you?”
“Uh, no. Should I?”
He chuckled. “I’m Zed. Yeah, Zane and I go way back. We were even on a baseball team together.”
Sometimes I forgot Zane was this all-star athlete. “Oh.”
“And he’s my older brother.”
Whoa! “Brother?”
“He talks about you all the time.” He slipped his arm into the strap of his backpack. “The genius.”
I blushed. “Not really. I just think differently.” I bent over and picked up my things.
He was still waiting for me. “Well, whatever it is, I’m glad he knows you. He’s been so much happier ever since he met you. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever come back around after my dad did the dating ban.” Glancing over slyly, he asked, “So, are you guys going to prom together? Just curious to see if he was brave enough to disobey our dad.”
I was pretty sure the drama in this school would never end. “Uh, no. Not at all.” I almost added he’d already asked someone else, I stopped myself just in time.
He looked at me curiously. “Huh. I would’ve thought for sure he’d have gone anyway. So, are you already taken?”
“For . . . for prom?”
“Yeah. Is that why he didn’t ask you? Someone else already has?”
I laughed. “No.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” He looked shocked. I was just about to take it as a compliment when he blurted out, “Wow! He must like his car more than I thought!”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, you don’t know? Our dad says if he ever catches Zane on a date, he’ll sell the car.”
I choked. “Really? Isn’t that a bit barbaric?” I mean, honestly. What parent does that?
He smirked. “Not when it comes to Dad’s oldest. I can get away with anything, mainly because I’m the youngest. But Zane—yeah, Zane gets the hard treatment. Plus, Dad’s ticked Zane doesn’t want to run his million-dollar company. I’d do it, but Dad doesn’t think I’ve got the grades or the business savvy to pull it off.” He paused at a doorway as the warning bell rang. “Not that I blame my dad. He’s put everything he’s got into building up this business—it means too much to him not to pass it on Zane.”
“So you side with your dad?”
He looked at me for a minute, taking in every detail of my face. I had no idea what he was thinking, but it was slightly uncomfortable. One eyebrow rose. “On second thought, you really don’t look much like Maralyn.”
I blinked. What was he saying?
“And honestly, I’m not convinced you’re as smart as you pretend to be, either. If you were, you’d be a lot more careful who you hung out with and what you did in public.”
Was he telling me to back off from his brother? Was this some sort of verbal ambush or something?
“I’d stay far away from Zane, if I were you.”
“Nothing like saying it like it is.”
He grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “Nope. I prefer to be pretty straight with people. I’ve been curious about you for a while now. Glad I had the opportunity to see just what my dad is fighting against. It’s interesting, really. And for the record, I don’t think you’re worth it.”
“What do you mean?” I hated when I stood there, trying to make sense of what people were saying. Why couldn’t I walk away? Obviously, he was trying to hurt me. Why stay and listen to it? Because I’m me. Because I make no sense at all. Ever.
“Clearly, the fact that you’re still standing here solidifies my argument. Tell Zane to pick an actual genius next time. I can’t handle this level of idiocy.” With that, he turned and walked into the classroom.
I had the strongest urge to punch him in the face. And cry, though punching him in the face was seriously outweighing the crying part. A couple of kids looked at me and laughed as they headed into class. I glanced up and realized I was in the freshman wing.
Ugh. How did I follow that loser all the way to his class and get this turned around?
The final bell rang.
Nice. Now I was late, too.
“Maralyn, are you okay?”
I turned to see Skyler heading toward me. “I’m Ellyn.”
“Oh, sorry. You guys look so much alike.”
I wish. Apparently, not everyone thought so. “No big deal.”
“Are you lost?”
“No.” Just an idiot.
He looked down the empty hall and then back at me. I probably seemed really weird, standing there, doing nothing. “What class do you have next?”
“I don’t know.” My mind was racing too much. “I have to go.”
He put a hand on my arm. “Whoa. Okay. Let me help you. You don’t look that great.”
“So I’ve been told.” I pulled my arm away from his grasp. “I’m fine. Just don’t touch me for a minute. I need to breathe.”
He looked way out of his depth and a bit scared of me.
I just wanted to get far away from this craziness. I began to walk down the hall.
“You’re going the wrong way.”
I’m not sure how many times he’d said that, but I’m positive it took more than once before I heard. I stopped and turned back around. “Oh.” Then I began to head the way I’d come. “Sorry.” All at once, I wanted to cry. Lots. As in, more than the amount was allotted to still look pretty. This was the “I’m-so-jealous-of-Loni-and-hate-Zane’s-brother” cry. The ugly cry.
“I’m really worried about you.” Skyler walked next to me, but was careful not to touch me.
“I’m not okay. But you don’t have to be worried. I need to be alone.”
“But you’re in school. You’re technically not supposed to be alone. And especially not out here in the ninth-grade hallway while class is going on.”
“I know.”
“So are you heading back to your class? I can walk with you.”
“It doesn’t look like you’re giving me much of a choice anyway.”
He grinned. “No, it doesn’t, does it?”
We walked together in silence to the main hall. “What hour is this?” My brain was seriously not thinking. I was completely fried.
“It’s fifth.”
“Oh, yeah. Chem
istry.”
“Great. Let’s get you there.”
It was the last place I wanted to be, but was probably the best place for me. Even though I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything, I definitely didn’t want to be crying right now. And if I went home, I’d definitely be crying.
After a little bit, Skyler asked, “So, is Maralyn excited about prom?”
“You can’t help yourself, can you?”
“What do you mean?”’
“You always have to bring her up. You’ve clearly got it worse than I thought.”
Skyler looked surprised. “You can tell?”
I wanted to laugh. Had it been any other day, or at any other time, I would have. Instead, I settled for a grin. “Yeah. It’s kind of obvious.”
He nodded. “I’m crazy, aren’t I?”
“For having a thing for my sister, w ho’s in high school?” I shrugged. “Other than the jailbait issue, I’d say you’re pretty normal. Everyone usually finds themselves crushing on her sooner or later.”
“Everyone? Is it really that bad?”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t say it’s bad. She’s pretty cool.”
He looked worried. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult her. I was just surprised to hear that so many other people like her too.”
I finally laughed. “Here’s a rule of thumb most guys don’t seem to get. Are you ready?”
He looked at me funny.
“Chances are, if you think she’s awesome, there’s a ton of other guys who are thinking the exact same thing. And, for the record, everyone thinks Maralyn is awesome.”
“I’d love some pointers on how to win her over, but I think I’ll stick to letting her go for now. I realize that from her perspective, I’m the last person she’d ever notice. Which is fine. But I love the energy and happiness she brings into a room. She’s got this bubbly personality that’s contagious.”
And that right there was the difference between me and my sister. And the reason why I love her to death, but know I’ll never be half the happy light source she is. She just glows. “For the record, I think you’d be good for her.”
“Really?” He smiled.
“Yeah, but she’ll have to figure that out on her own.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Prom Fever
“Are you sure this dress looks good on me?” Maralyn asked for the fourth time.
I could feel a headache coming on. “Yes.” We’d been to every store in the Farmington Mall and every bridal shop from Durango to Kirtland for two weeks now, and she still hadn’t found “the dress.”
“Does it really matter?” I groaned as I sat down on a padded chair near the dressing room. “You’re only going to wear it for a few hours anyway, and Harrison isn’t going to notice it as much as you think he will.”
She popped her head out of the nearest stall. “Are you kidding me? He’d better notice this dress, after all the trouble I’m going through to get it!” She shut the door, and I heard rustling as she tried on the next one. There were five dresses in that stall with her. I had no idea how they all fit in that tiny room, but they did. So far, she’d tried on three, the last one being my favorite. Of course, I had a favorite in every store we went to. She just refused to acknowledge that it was her favorite too
I sighed. “I should’ve brought my Kindle.”
“Come on. You know you love this,” came a muffled voice from the stall.
“Yeah, as much as I love homework.” I brought both my legs out in front of me. “Actually, I believe this is considered worse than homework.”
“How is it that you’re female and you hate shopping?”
“I refuse to deem this question worthy of an answer. Just because I’m female does not make me instantly attracted to shopping. Besides, what’s the point? It’s not like I’m going anywhere anyway.”
I heard a few more rustling noises, and then Mara opened the door, wearing a gorgeous frothy purple gown. One of those princessy ones that go to the floor and poof out. “What do you think?”
I was a bit speechless. It wasn’t her usual style, but it was so pretty on her.
“Well?” she prompted.
“Yes. I think it’s perfect.”
“Seriously?” She put a hand on her hip, and the whole dress belled out to the side with her. “You say that with every dress.”
“Not true. And this one is just—I love it. It really is my new favorite. You look like Cinderella.”
She turned and examined herself in the three-way mirror, lifting the sides of her skirt with her hands and letting it swoosh back and forth. She grinned, and her eyes met mine through the glass. “It’s really fun. I feel like a princess in it.”
“Once you go princess, you can never go back.”
She giggled and then glanced at the price tag. “Ugh. I would like the one that cost the most.”
I began to panic and bit my lip. “How bad is it?”
Mara shook her head. “Bad.”
Her idea of bad and mine weren’t even in the same wallet. “Anything over fifty dollars is bad to me.”
She coughed. “Yeah, well, all the dresses are way over that. This is like, dipping-into-savings-account bad.”
“More than two fifty?” I gasped.
Turning from side to side, she examined the dress again and whimpered. “Yeah. More than that.”
“No way. Take it off. We’d never be able to face Mom.” I couldn’t breathe.
“I know…” Her voice trailed away as she examined herself. “But I just want to be in it a few minutes longer.”
“You really do look amazing.” I got up and walked over to the dangling tag. “Two eighty-five? Yikes.” It was soft. Layer after layer of chiffon made it a dancing dream. “Maybe I could convince Mom to combine our dress money so you can get it.”
“What?” She looked stunned. “Why would you do that? No. You need one too.”
“I’m not going. It’s not like I’d use it for anything.”
“Why do you say that? I’m sure Zane will ask you any day now. I mean, we still have three weeks.”
“No, he won’t. Trust me on this.”
“Did you guys have a fight or something? What happened? ”
My elbow started to itch, and I was still having a hard time breathing. “Stop, please.”
Mara glanced over at me. “Okay. I’ll stop.”
Why did I not believe her? “Thank you.”
“Though, you have a funny way of showing guys you like them.” And there she goes again. “If you really wanted a date, you should’ve made it obvious how you felt about the guy. He would’ve taken you to prom for sure.”
I walked away.
“Ellyn! Wait. I still have another dress to try on.”
I pushed past racks of clothes and made my way to the front of the store. I needed space. I needed time. I needed to breathe. Once I reached the main section of the mall, I headed over to an empty bench by a planter and sat down. I put my face into my hands so I wouldn’t have to see the world around me and rubbed my temples.
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t keep Zane’s secret and deal with my family’s lack of understanding. I couldn’t handle this unnecessary drama. It was a complete waste of time, and too painful.
And I was freaking out way more than I usually do. I took a deep breath and calmed the rising panic in my chest. It was going to be okay. It really didn’t matter to anyone who Zane took to prom. In about three weeks, when he walked into the dance, everyone would know he had a girlfriend anyway. It wasn’t a slight on me.
It was just life.
I didn’t even know what the big deal was, anyway. Why dress up and go to prom? I couldn’t imagine my mom spending a ton of money on me just so I could look “pretty.” And then what? I didn’t have a date. I didn’t have friends to hang out with. I’d be there by myself, watching Maralyn having this amazing time and listening to her friends chatter. How is it fun to go to a dance by yourself when everyone
else has a date and you’re sitting on the sidelines, watching?
I felt a strange tightening in my chest. Then deep sadness washed over me. I was tired of being in the shadows, the one no one really saw unless it was to exclaim about how odd I was. It hurt. And it wasn’t fair.
“There you are!” Maralyn said as she walked up to the bench. “I still had another dress to try on. Why did you leave?”
I sighed and looked up at her. “Because I was done.”
It was as if she finally noticed that I hadn’t been trying on dresses with her this whole time because she suddenly asked, “Aren’t you going to prom?”
“No.”
She sat down next to me, and I had to scoot over. “But why not? Everyone wants to go to prom! You need to try on dresses, too. Why haven’t you been?”
Why did I have to answer the same questions constantly? “Because I don’t want to go.”
“Why?”
My hands started to shake, and I felt my chest tighten again. “Because I don’t want to go someplace where I’ll be bored.” There. Maybe now she’d understand.
Mara laughed. “Bored? Are you kidding? With everyone dancing? It’ll be way too fun to be boring.” She turned toward me. “Are you sure Zane’s not taking you?”
Oh, my gosh. “Yes, I’m sure he’s not taking me. And yes, I’m sure it’ll be really boring.”
“Oh! Because you don’t have a date.” She grinned. “Well, I can help with that.”
I was going to lose it. I could feel everything within me boiling. “No. Don’t.”
“Yes. It’ll be so easy. If Zane can’t go for whatever reason, I know like ten guys who’ll totally take you.”
“No.”
“Yes! It’ll be so fun! You have to come with me.” She tugged on my arm. “Come on—let’s go choose a dress for you. I feel bad that you haven’t tried any on. Once you do and see how gorgeous you look, you’ll be all about prom and begging for me to get a date for you.”
I pulled my arm away. “No, I won’t.” My voice raised a few notches. “I won’t ever be happy there. I’ll never like it. I’ll be ignored and miserable and feel completely stupid and out of place. I’m not going. Period.”