But what if she were wrong? What if he changed his mind? She had had a taste of the loneliness he’d leave behind. And it had been just one day.
Impossible man. He wasn’t reacting as he should, as she swore to herself he would. How dare he leave her to stew alone? Cade wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep until they had wrestled through all his references of togetherness.
Hallie turned up the lamps on the coal oil fixture to dispel the corner shadows. She sat down to wait and took one of the Empress chocolate tins to open.
She thought about her dreams which featured one Cade McAllister—last night’s being the most heated by far since she now knew what his kisses made her feel.
This is practical, Hallie?
“Maybe not,” she answered the little nag and reached for another piece of candy. “But he risked his life to save mine. I think I’m in love with the man.” She munched her way through the tin of candy without really tasting it as she made a mental list of Cade’s faults.
She dismissed his tendency to be bossy as something she could manage, not unaware the fault was hers as well. He liked her cooking, she enjoyed his appreciation of that and all the other things she had done for him. She wondered what Cade would think of her bedroom, inherited along with the house and land from her grandmother. Since the day Doc had pronounced her grandmother dead no man had entered that room.
Twice she interrupted her musings to open the kitchen door. The sound of Cade’s cheerful whistling in the lantern lit barn had her grit her teeth. The man was impossible!
How could she make a decision if she didn’t know how he felt about her? Could Cade ever love her?
Hallie returned to her place at the table. The candy tin was empty. She reached over and opened another one, one to help her find courage. She had to confess to Cade what she had been doing to him. She wanted to be honest, and in return, needed Cade’s honesty about his feelings.
Courage, Hallie. You can do anything.
She froze, frightened and held her breath. That had not been a whisper from the little nag. Hallie felt the cool brush of moving air against her cheek. She released her breath slowly, and with it, her initial fear.
“Help me, Granny Rose. Help me make the right decision.”
“Courage is all a man needs to confront a woman like Hallie about her feelings. Isn’t that right?” Cade asked the ragtag flock as he tore open a sack and scooped out a pail full of grain. “I made a mess back in the kitchen, but I’ll get it right. She won’t refuse me, will she? I mean a woman like Hallie doesn’t go around kissing men and dreaming about them, does she? Not unless she has strong feelings for him?”
Not one grunt, bray, moo, bleat, or neigh came in answer. Cade surveyed the animals with their heads all turned toward him as he began to walk along, scooping out a measure of grain for each animal.
“I didn’t understand what she was up to,” Cade offered by way of apology. “So don’t be holding it against me. Nothing else makes sense, does it?” He leaned over Eternal’s pen. “Tonight your silence, pig, is not appreciated. Did she name you while thinking of the everlasting love and devotion every man and woman looks for in a mate?” Eternal lifted his snout from the trough. Cade took her grunt for agreement, desperate to believe he was on the right track as he moved to Forage’s stall.
“You’re still a fussy, persnickety ewe.” He tossed the grass he’d picked into the sheep’s feed bucket. “But I guess, and correct me if I’m wrong, that you got your name ’cause Hallie wants someone who’s a good provider. Not a fancy one, mind you, Forage, but one who’s got skills to feed a family.”
The little burro stood in the middle of its stall. “Ah, Steadfast, I belittled your name, didn’t I?” Cade rested his arms on the stall’s gate. “Beg pardon of you. What woman doesn’t want a man who will stand firmly fixed beside her in all things? Especially when a woman like Hallie would dare the devil himself for someone she loves.” Cade grabbed hold of the top rail, closing his eyes briefly as he thought of Hallie and the danger she had placed herself in last night.
Faith, housed next to the burro, stretched her neck until her nose touched Cade’s shoulder. He looked at the warm brown eyes and picked up his pail. Cade moved the three feet needed to reach Faith’s bucket and gave the horse two scoops of grain.
“Hey, girl,” he whispered, scratching her velvet nose when she made no move toward the grain. “Your name’s easy, isn’t it? Complete belief and trust. That’s Hallie. We wouldn’t have her any other way, would we?”
Across the aisle, the other animals showed signs of restlessness and Cade crossed over to them. Hope had a muzzle grayed with age and teeth so worn that Cade mixed her grain with water from her pail.
“You’re all about her dreams, ain’t you, old girl? Won’t get much argument from me about them. I’d like to be able to fulfill every one of Hallie’s dreams. Think I can do that? Blazes, what am I asking you for. Hallie’s the only one that can answer it. Too bad you and your cronies can’t put a good … er … so to speak … word for me.”
“Hey Charity,” he said, once more moving down the row of stalls, “guess if Hallie didn’t have a heart full of generosity toward those in need, neither you nor me would be standing here having this one-sided conversation.”
Patience, in the next stall, kicked her empty feed pail. “All right, you ornery … no, I ain’t gonna call you that.” Cade bent down to grab the pail. “You get three scoops, but only ’cause you didn’t give me a hassle on the way home. Home?” he repeated, the grain pail dropping unnoticed from his hand. “A home needs a woman who’s patient. A woman who’d show forbearance under all kinds of provocation. Don’t take a dumb mule to show me that. Guess I learned to be a little tolerant—” Patience brayed, loudly, right in his face and Cade backed off. “All right, so I got a ways to go. But I’m heading in the right direction, you ornery cuss. Leastways I was until you had to disagree. Can’t you take the same path as the rest of them? Don’t see them giving me grief, do you?”
Patience’s head stuck over the stall. Cade eyed the move with suspicion for a few moments, then closed the distance and scratched the mule’s nose.
“Guess you ain’t so bad after all.” He looked over at Divine, placidly chewing her cud, large brown eyes watching him with aged wisdom. Cade found himself smiling as he walked over and set the grain pail into her stall.
“Divine, you of all gave me the hardest time to figure out your name. But the way I see it, you got named for a marriage blessed by the Lord. I thought hard about this one. You can’t give milk, can’t breed, but there’s still affection to be had from you, ain’t there?” The cow rewarded Cade with a lick to his hand from her thick, pink tongue.
“Figured something else out, too. I’m just as dumb and useless as each of you. Loco, too, for thinking that Hallie’s gonna know any of this without me telling her.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Cade stared down at the sawdust covered plank floor. “That honest soul of goodness took me in just like she took in each one of you. Guess it’s a good thing none of you were named honesty. Or worthiness. How can I convince Hallie I’m either one of those things?”
“You don’t need to, Cade.”
He twisted around so fast that his bad leg buckled and he had to grab hold of the support beam to hold him up.
“Hallie!”
“That’s my name.” She stood with the shadow of the open doorway and made no move to go inside. Her heart was so full at this moment, Hallie didn’t think she could move.
“How much did you hear?” he asked in a choked up whisper.
“Does it matter?”
“Sure as hell does. If you heard it all, I won’t have to repeat it. If you heard half, I’ll have to repeat it all. To make sure you understand the reasoning.”
The caress in his voice was so enticing that Hallie could almost taste the honey in it. Joy whispered through her as she saw through her tears the odd, gen
tle expression on his face. His eyes rested on her, inviting her closer, flames kindling in the blue depths. All she could do was drink in the sight of him, trying to absorb him slowly, like the too rich sweets she had indulged herself in. He was standing quite still, the lantern light playing a pattern over his features.
“I …” Hallie began.
“You …” Cade started to say.
“Go first,” she said, leaning hard against the door frame.
“No. You.” He saw what was different about Hallie, she’d removed her starched collar and apron, and somewhere between his leaving and her arrival, most of her hairpins were lost. Mink dark hair rippled down to the waist of her reddish brown gown.
“Hallie, were you worried that I was out here so long?”
“No. Why do you ask?”
“Your hair,” he said, gesturing with one hand. “You’d only take it down to go to bed. Wouldn’t you?” he asked innocently, with hidden laughter and tantalizing spice in his voice.
“I forgot to thank you for the gifts.”
“Morning—”
“No. It couldn’t…. this couldn’t wait until morning, Cade.” She took a step inside. “There are serious matters to be discussed.”
“Here?” Lord, did he sound too eager? Hallie seemed to glide over the barn floor and Cade retreated. There was the small matter of Hallie and the fragrant hay that he couldn’t get out of his mind.
“I’ve made some decisions,” she informed him. Hallie eyed his hesitant backward walk and found she liked being the one to stalk him.
“Now, Hallie, there’s no need to rush. Take your time. Think things over. These are serious issues.”
“Yes, I realized how serious. But I don’t believe taking time is possible anymore.” The firm conviction of her belief rang in her voice. She noted how intrigued Cade appeared.
Cade skirted one of the post beams. “It isn’t? Be very sure, Hallie.” Cade knew how close he was to the pile of hay by the fragrant smell. Come on, Hallie, a little bit closer.
“Accept my word on it.” She offered him a mischievous smile. “I am a woman who will always honor her word once given.” A few more steps back, Cade McAllister, and then I’ll have you where I want you. She refused to allow herself to think of what steps to take once she had him there. This business of seduction required thought and planning. Hallie knew her heart to be so full of love she could barely stop herself from flinging her arms around him.
She advanced on him like some warrior maid, and Cade delighted in letting her believe he thought retreat was the better part of valor. He deliberately stumbled, landing spread-eagled in the middle of the hay pile.
“Be real gentle with me, Hallie,” he warned, then almost spoiled it with a stifled chuckle. “Please. You must remember you’re about to take advantage of a recovering invalid.”
The intriguing idea stopped her advance. “I’ve never taken advantage of a man before.”
Don’t quit on me now, Hallie. Show me the woman in your dreams.
“Hallie?”
“Hush. I’m figuring out a plan of attack.”
“Nothing too violent, I hope.” He watched the frown appear on her brow and his gaze slid down her slender figure to where her hands pleated the sides of her skirt. “Don’t let lack of experience stop you,” he urged. “As you can see, I’m quite helpless.”
She saw he looked as smug as a bear with his own honeybee hive. Helpless, indeed. If Cade became any more helpless without touching her, she would melt the hinges of the doors to hell.
“I meant what I said before, Hallie. There’s no rush. We could talk about this decision of yours.” And I’ll crisp the hay beneath me to a cinder. Cade very slowly locked his hand beneath his head to show he wasn’t going to grab her. When she still hesitated to join him, he tried for a lighter mood.
“What do you think they”—Cade freed one hand to gesture at the animals avidly watching them—“think about this?”
“You have the advantage there. I never thought to ask. But they can’t be happy to see you claim their hay. What would I do if they took exception and said no?”
“We’ll take them to task first thing in the morning. Threaten them with roasting. With work. We can plot all sorts of devilish torture for them. Stuff Eternal with apples, for one.”
His teasing—and the merry twinkle in his eyes said it was that—brought her smile, then soft, delightful laughter.
“Hallie,” Cade said in a honey-smoked voice, “they can’t possibly know what you need right now.” His extended hand reached out to her. “I do. Come here, Hallie. Let’s be good to each other.”
There was promise in his voice, in his eyes, a promise that gentled fear. Eyes bright with loving joy, Hallie settled herself beside him.
“Cade, I have a confession to make, and I don’t want you to move or say a word until I am finished.”
“Sounds serious.” He thought of his grievous transgression and the words that confession was good for the soul. But telling Hallie he had read her journal would only hurt her. He could atone for his sin a hundred times a day for the next hundred years. He wanted more than anything to make Hallie a happy woman.
“It is serious. You’ll be furious with me when—” The rustle of hay accompanied her move to hold his hand. Rather foolish, she told herself, to hold the hand of the man for comfort. But the touch of his large, warm, calloused hand did lend comfort.
“I’ve not been an honest woman with you. I’ve been dosing your chocolate with laudanum every night. That is why I encouraged you to have as much candy as you wanted. And that is why—” She paused, closing her eyes, only to open them as the image of Cade trying to do battle while drugged rose in haunting memory.
“I know you blamed my kisses and the candy for what you were feeling last night. But it wasn’t that at all. You ate too much of the—”
“Hallie—”
“No. No,” she said, squeezing his hand tight. “You must let me finish.”
“I can’t.” He brought their joined hands to his lips, kissing the back of hers as he rolled to his side. “Sweet honest, Hallie. I already knew that.”
Chapter 7
“You …” she too, turned to her side to look at him. “You knew?”
“I told you I stopped by to see Doc Burnswait. Truth to tell, Hallie, I really was worried that I’d suffered some head injury.”
“You blamed it on my kisses and the chocolate,” she said in a cross little voice.
“And those sweet sensations were from them alone.” He leaned over to nuzzle her neck, freeing her hand as he stroked her flushed cheek. “Your mouth is scented with candy.” For long moments their gazes were locked. “I’ve discovered that I love the taste of chocolate, Hallie. Share with me.”
Not a question, and not a demand. Hallie felt the soft mating of their breath as a kiss began long before his lips found and opened gently over hers. She closed her eyes against the overwhelming wash of sensations as she struggled with her burning desire to press herself against him and feel all his hard, lean body.
The kiss changed by heated degrees. The hard drive of his questing tongue made her feel her control was stretched to the breaking point. Cade McAllister, she discovered, didn’t play fair. He wasn’t playing or teasing now at all. The man was definitely an outlaw. He stole her reason. He kidnapped her emotions and held them for ransom with his sensuous, beguiling charm. When his lips glided from her mouth to her cheek, then to the lobe of her ear, a half shocked, blissful moan escaped her lips.
Hesitantly, she placed her hands on his shoulders. Beneath his shirt, he was warm and solid. His hand rested on her waist. A vision flashed in her mind like a streak of lightning. Hallie studied his face as he leaned back. The dreams she had had of him rushed back in all their erotic glory. But Cade was no dream lover. He was a flesh-and-blood man. His skin, the dark silky hair, the intensity of his blue eyes, and the heat of his lips broug
ht fever to her flesh.
Lustful thoughts: She should attempt to control them. If he had a hint of what she had been dreaming and thinking about him, she would expire from sheer mortification.
“What is it, Hallie? You’ve gone away from me.”
“I discovered a terrible truth tonight. Loneliness is a high price to pay for independence.”
Cade braced himself on his elbow, and with his left hand stroked the hair back from her forehead. “Is that why you came out here, Hallie? You don’t want to be lonely?”
“The truth?”
“Always.”
“I truly wanted to know what you meant by all those we’ll talk and we’ll decide remarks.”
“What did you think I meant?”
“Gracious, Cade McAllister, a woman could build a great deal on words like those.”
“You’d make me a happy man if you did. Hallie,” he whispered, “I don’t want to steal your independence. Your kisses, yes. Your gentleness and caring and your love. But I don’t want you to change.” He kissed away the tiny frown that formed and brushed her nose with his.
Then, in a very serious, softly hushed voice, he said, “I discovered a few truths myself. I’m awfully glad you’ve never taken advantage of a man before. I want to be the very first, the only one. I want you, Hallie.”
Melting just like a candy, Hallie drew his head down. “You have me.” Made bold by the desire that flared in his eyes, she scattered kisses over the dimples she adored, until need spilled between them with broken words and heated kisses. Growing bolder yet, she touched the flesh-and-blood lover that haunted her dreams.
She felt enveloped by softness, the cool night breeze that draped lightly over them and the rising scent of the crushed hay beneath her. Her hands moved across his back, feeling the smooth, hard, shifting pattern of his muscles as he deepened the kiss, covering her body with his.
The Secret Ingredient Page 6