by Sable Hunter
Shane waved to a very curious Libby, then turned to stroll with Brodie down the hill. They moved past the pavilion where a band was warming up, on down to the beautiful, slow moving Guadalupe River. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked in a low voice. She couldn’t quite match his stride, so Shane doubled-up on her steps. The grass was still rich and green, the blades looking like shards of malachite against her boots.
“Hell, no.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe.”
“I’m here to listen. No judgment,” she offered, taking note of the horses galloping across a nearby field.
“You came from Houston?”
Apparently, he’d decided to let her do the talking. Very well. “Yes. I grew up over around Pasadena, on the east side, near Baytown. Full of smelly refineries. The kids used to call it Stinkadena.”
Brodie laughed a little bit. “Any brothers or sisters?”
“Not any more. I lost my brother when he was just twenty-one. I was fifteen.” He glanced at her with a question in his eyes, but she yielded no further information. It was something she didn’t talk about often. “I did have lots of cousins. I was the youngest, they were mostly boys, hence my growing up a tomboy. I played baseball, touch football, rode motorcycles, nothing remotely girly.”
“I grew up just south of here in New Braunfels. I’ve got one sister, she’s a couple of years older. Her name is Jai. She’s an amazing woman. Works tirelessly for our troops.”
“Wow. I’d like to meet her someday.”
He didn’t comment on her wish or make any promises, he just continued. “When I graduated from high school, I moved to Austin to attend UT.” Shane was looking up at just the right moment to see Brodie smile sadly. “I met Mary in high school. We both went to UT. She was a dance major. I was her polar opposite, pre-med.”
“What happened?” Shane asked before thinking. Something kept him from going to med-school, but he might not want to share.
Brodie shrugged. “My grades weren’t good enough. I’m not saying I’m dumb, I just couldn’t cut all of that science. Biochemistry and Gross Anatomy ate my lunch. I tend to reason things out and those courses had too much memorization for me.”
“Heck, don’t feel bad. You might have messed up on a few classes, I bombed my whole marriage.”
They neared the river, spotted a small gazebo and headed for it.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
Shane hugged herself as she walked. How humiliating to have to admit to a guy you were attracted to, one who’d dissed you more than once, that your husband did her just as bad or worse. “I wasn’t a very popular girl in school. Probably because of the whole tomboy, no boobs thing. So, when I met Rodney at a birthday party for one of my friends and he paid some attention to me, I fell for him hard. Too fast. I was already working, putting myself through school when we married. Once I completed my training, I started paying off his student loans. He’s a civil engineer, but the firm he works for is small. He’s not exactly raking in the cash. When I could see it clear, I started my EMT training. One day, I went home a little early and caught him having sex with some woman in the shower. When I confronted him, he said it had been going on from the beginning, that I wasn’t woman enough to satisfy any man. He just confirmed everyone else’s opinion, he said I look like a boy.”
“You don’t,” he said the words evenly. “Look like a boy, I mean. And it doesn’t sound like you messed up your marriage, I’d say he is the one who fucked things up.”
His supportive comments pleased her to no end. When they moved up the gazebo steps, Shane’s shoulder brushed his and she felt an electrical shock of awareness. In spite of his less than friendly attitude toward her, she was extremely attracted to him. He’d fueled most of her dreams over the past couple of weeks, especially the erotic ones.
“Thank you.” She found a seat across from him, her back to the Tebow main house. “I’ve heard so many people praise you for your work getting the EMT service for Stonewall.”
Brodie frowned. “I did it for Mary, it was the last thing I could do.”
“I know.” She sought to be supportive.
“No. You don’t know.” His face grew red and his voice grew harsh. “Your husband didn’t love you. I worshipped the ground Mary walked on. Your husband betrayed you, but you walked away. My Mary lost her life. Today is the anniversary of her death.” He rose and stomped off the gazebo. “And I’m sitting here talking to another woman.”
“Stop, Brodie.” Shane ran to him, catching his arm. “Quit punishing yourself. Mary’s gone, but you aren’t. You’re alive. Wouldn’t she want you to be happy? Wouldn’t she want you to find love again?”
His chest expanded as he took in a deep breath. The cross that hung between his pecs moved up and down, nestled on the white material of his shirt. He hated himself for what he was feeling. Hell, he was attracted to Shane Wilder. Physically. She’d never be able to touch his soul. But if there’d never been a Mary… “God. What am I doing?”
“How much have you had to drink?” Without waiting for an answer, Shane made an offer. “Let me drive you home.”
He jerked from her grasp. “Oh. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” When she stood in front of him, he pushed past. “Get out of my way.” Why couldn’t she just disappear? “I can’t be around you, now.”
He plowed ahead, hands in his pockets, walking away from a woman he was making a practice of hurting. “Mary. I need to focus on Mary.” He tried to conjure her face, but all he could see was Shane. “Shit.” Her sweet body. Hell, he didn’t think she even had on a fucking bra today. His imagination was working overtime, imagining the size, shape and taste of her nipples.
“Brodie, stop! Please. I can’t stand to see you hurting so.”
“It’s none of your business, Shane. Back off!”
She grabbed his hand. She knew they were performing the same tired dance over and over again, but for some reason, she just couldn’t help it. “It is my business, you’re my friend.”
“Can’t you get this through your head? I’m not your friend.” At the hurt look in her eyes, he exploded. “Stop looking at me like that. I don’t want your concern. I don’t want you to care about me. Stop thinking about me. Stop fantasizing about me when you diddle your clit.” His voice rose even louder. “Find someone else who’ll fuck you! It’s not going to be me. Understand?”
Wow. Yea, she understood. Shane glanced toward the pavilion, praying no one had heard his castigation of her. “Fine. Who wants you anyway, Brodie Walton? I don’t need you.”
“Yea, right.” His voice was haggard; he knew he didn’t sound as convincing as his words belied. “I’m going home and finish off that damn case of Coors.”
Despite his rudeness, the look in his eyes worried Shane. She’d seen him angry, she’d seen him hurting, but this was more. “Be careful,” she called to his retreating form. He didn’t know it, but he wouldn’t be going alone. Taking a quick detour, she said her regrets to the McCoys without offering much of an explanation, then hurried toward the parking lot and took out after him. Shane couldn’t see his truck, but she could keep the cloud of dust he was kicking up in view. When he hit the highway, she wasn’t far behind. Shane had no idea if he was aware of her, but she had no intention of him doing anything foolish…like her brother Tom. His girlfriend broke up with him, he went on a drinking binge, then wrapped his truck around a tree.
When he sped up, she went faster, not crowding him, but not letting up. Shane didn’t know where he lived, but she had no intention of him outgunning her.
“I can’t believe this,” Brodie muttered. “Goddammit!” Shane Wilder was following him home. He didn’t know if he could handle any more confrontations with her. She wanted him, there was no doubt about it.
Could he get it up for her? Hell yeah. His stubborn cock still got hard every morning, still got hard in the midst of dreams as he escaped into his memories of Mary. He could even get-off while watching mindless porn. Hell
, he was a man. He needed release. But at what cost? What he hadn’t been willing to do was betray Mary with a flesh and blood woman. A woman who would be foolish enough to have expectations. Shaking his head, he tried to push aside these damn errant thoughts of Shane. As he drove he couldn’t help but recall her scent, the silkiness of her hair, the silvery flecks in her eyes.
FUCK! “Get out of my head!”
A desperate war to regain control of his life raged in his mind. How could he get the upper hand in this unintentional battle of the sexes that he found himself fighting with Shane Wilder? Pushing her away didn’t seem to work. What else was there?
Suddenly, a thought came to him.
She wasn’t going to leave him alone until she realized what she wanted wouldn’t work. Why didn’t he just give her what she wanted? On a primal level, he wanted sex too. And that’s all this would be – just sex. Impersonal. Unfeeling. Rough. Brodie didn’t have any tenderness left to offer anyone. He’d lash out with his body like he’d been lashing with his words. The fact that Shane was the first woman to truly tempt him to betray Mary’s memory meant that he needed to deal with this. He’d give them both what they craved, so they’d realize the painful difference between wanting something and needing it for your own good.
All the way home, he argued with himself.
Did he know what he was doing?
Hell no.
But as far as plans went, this was the best he could come up with. He’d get rid of Shane Wilder once and for all.
Who knows?
Maybe she’d get so fed up with him, she’d pick up stakes and move.
Yea, that would be for the best – for both of them.
Sliding into his driveway with Shane still on his tail, he opened his truck door and met her with a shout. “You just had to follow me home, didn’t you?”
“I was worried,” she said, slamming her own vehicle door.
Her chest was heaving as he stared at her – then, something within Brodie just broke. With a gruff curse, he walked up and hauled her to him. He was almost delirious. When the small round mounds of her tits mashed up to his chest, he inhaled, pushing his muscles against them so he could feel her nipples poking him. She was excited, there was no hiding that fact. “Is this what you want?”
Shane was shocked. All she could do was hold onto him, parting her legs so he could slide his thigh in between hers. She shook her head, refusing to answer his question.
“Tell me. Is this what you want?”
Again, she shook her head, but even as she denied her desire, her traitorous body moved hungrily against his hard thigh. “Brodie?”
Brodie closed his eyes. His name sounded so different coming from her lips. Her voice was nothing like Mary’s. He stepped away from her, so fast she almost fell. Shane looked up at him, she looked as ashamed as he felt.
“You want to be fucked, don’t you? You’ve been watching me with your tongue hanging out for weeks. You want me so much you’re sick from it, aren’t you? Poor little tomboy, Shane. Nobody wants to fuck her.”
“Stop.”
“You want me, even knowing that I don’t want you. Knowing that I’ll only ever want one woman.” Brodie moved closer to her, back into the spot he’d just vacated.
“Please, Brodie, stop.” Shane turned around to go. As much as she wanted him, this wasn’t right. His pain was more than they both could bear. “I made a mistake.”
She only made it two or three steps away when his voice caused a halt to her movements.
“If you want it, I’ll give it to you.”
“What did you say?” she asked, still not facing him.
“If you want sex, I’ll give it to you, as long as you understand the situation perfectly.”
Shane bowed her head. He walked up behind her, so close she could feel his heat. “Do you want me, Shane?”
She questioned her sanity, but she couldn’t deny the truth. “Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
His words were whispered against her neck, his warm breath fanned her hair.
She tried to think – tried to bring forth her self-preservation instincts. This was going to hurt.
Not physically, she wasn’t afraid of him.
But he would break her heart.
A very small part of her clung to a dream, a dream that he would change, that once he slept with her he’d realize how good they could be together, that she could somehow entice him to want her. Just her.
The more rational part of Shane, the part that had learned and absorbed the harsh lessons of the past, knew this wouldn’t change things between them. She didn’t have the necessary attributes to entice Brodie. He was using her to work through his pain – and she was going to let him.
Hell, the most she could hope for was that he wouldn’t hate her in the morning.
Either way, this was a risk she was willing to take.
“I’m sure.”
CHAPTER SIX
From the moment Shane gave her assent, Brodie couldn’t get her in the house fast enough. Taking her by the arm, he led her inside, knowing what she was seeing. An austere, empty, soulless dwelling where he existed but didn’t live. Neither of them spoke as he guided her through the living room, down the hall and to the place where he slept. With every step, Brodie thought less and less about how Shane was feeling. He didn’t have the presence of mind; his brain was too busy processing what was about to happen. Once his body caught on, it became voracious, making demands of its own.
Shane could see his single-mindedness. Part of her thrilled at the prospect of all that intensity being directed toward her. He didn’t seem to be inebriated, but he did seem to be…absent. His body was present, his mind was alert – but his soul and heart were nowhere to be found. “Brodie, I don’t know…”
Jerking his shirt over his head, he slung it to one side, the cross that mesmerized her so much was bouncing against the hard muscles of his chest. She couldn’t help but stare – the man had a body that just wouldn’t quit. Unconsciously, she licked her lips.
“Yes, you know. Hell, you’re salivating.” He took slow, measured, predatory steps toward her. “You can’t wait for me to be inside of you. You’re wet now, aren’t you?”
Yes. Shane was vibrating with desire. Still…there would be no going back from this.
She looked toward the door, as if gauging the distance.
Brodie read her body language, moved forward swiftly and pinned her to the wall. “You aren’t going to back out, are you?” He took a finger and drew a circle around one distended nipple, its pale pinkness peeking out through the loose woven material. “If you do, you’ll never know what it’s like to have me between your legs. You want that, don’t you, Shane? Your whole body is screaming for me, begging for what only I can give you.”
Shane met his eyes, trying to see past the man who was trying to make her sorry for how she felt. Deep inside, she knew this wasn’t the real Brodie. She knew he treated no one else this way, only her. Why? She didn’t know that answer. But after seeing how he helped people, how he put the safety and welfare of others above himself, she had to believe he was a good man. Her heart wasn’t wrong.
She believed in him.
“I do want you. Yes.”
Brodie crowded her, his big body pressed so close to hers that there was no way she could miss his arousal. Holding her eyes, he deliberately rocked his hips against her. When she jerked, gasped, and blushed, he gave her a knowing grin. Looking down at her breasts, he could see their obvious response. “That’s what I figured. This is going to be intense, Wilder. Rough. Animalistic. A male taking his pleasure in a willing female. That’s all I can offer you. Ready?”
Shane couldn’t help it; her body gave him an answer. She acquiesced, her hips pressing forward in a feminine demand of her own. Throwing down the gauntlet, she lifted her chin. “Do it.”
Seeing the fire in her eyes, Brodie set aside any reservations he’d been holding onto. She would hate him whe
n this was over with. Hell, he’d probably hate himself. But his body needed this – fuck, he wanted this too badly to stop now. Backing off, he began to unbutton and unzip his jeans. He cock was already hard and throbbing. His whole body was cocked and primed, anxious to get on with the business at hand. “Come here.” Brodie crooked one finger toward her.
A chaotic mess of feelings swarmed Shane’s mind. Uneasiness. A sense of inadequacy. Anxiousness. But most of all – a desire that moved her feet forward. She arrived within inches of him, so close the tiny hairs on her arms reacted to his nearness as if she was standing a little too close to a powerful electrical live wire.
“Time to see what I’m getting out of this deal.”
He reached out and grasped the hem of her camisole, lifting it. Shane had an overpowering urge to stop him, to tug it back down. Her clothing was her armor, shielding her from judgmental eyes. And now – the one person’s whose opinion mattered the most – was about to see all of her shortcomings. Since she wore no bra, she really didn’t need one, once he skimmed the shirt up and off – she was exposed. An urge to hide rose within her so great that her arms rose to cross over her chest. If he found so much fault in her otherwise, he would love to point out how small her breasts were.
“No!” Brodie snapped. He’d been about to make some comment, meant to push her further away, some slight against her slender body. But when he saw her delicate perfection, perfect handfuls of soft female flesh topped with bitesize cherry nipples, he lost the ability to think. And when she lifted her face and he saw the faint hope shining in her eyes, he couldn’t let the moment pass. “Don’t you dare cover yourself up. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
As she stood there in front of him, Shane let her arms drop. Her breath was coming fast and her breasts moved with it. “I’m small.” She pointed out the obvious.
“I’m not blind and I’ve seen you before. Remember?” he growled. “Take off your jeans.”
Brodie stared as she did so, bending to pull off her boots and socks so she could get the jeans over her feet. When she did, her tits hung down like passion fruit – aptly named. And when she ran her little pink tongue over her lips to dampen them, his cock jerked in hunger, wanting equal time.