by Sable Hunter
They were both quiet the rest of the way. Brodie noticed she kept her hand on the door handle, as if she might try to escape at any moment.
When they arrived at the restaurant, she was out the door and standing in front of the truck before he got his seat belt unfastened. At least she waited for him, he half expected her to dash into the restaurant and find her own table. Well…he had no one to blame but himself. She was only reacting to the way he’d treated her. “Let’s go in, I can use a drink. I’m sure you can too.” He gestured toward the door, walking beside her up the walk, not touching.
Shane allowed him to open the door, then stood by while he spoke with the hostess and they were led to a table. She’d never been here before, so she glanced around at the white tablecloths, the fountain in the courtyard, and the flickering candlelight. “Nice place, thanks for bringing me.”
“You’re welcome.” After consulting her as to her preference, he ordered a bottle of white wine.
Shane stood it as long as she could before she broke down and asked, “What’s going on, Brodie? Did I do something else to bother you? I’ve done as you asked, I’ve stayed out of your way as much as possible. Why are we here?”
Brodie studied the menu for another few minutes before answering. “I’m not sure. I can’t get you out of my head.”
Shane picked up a piece of bread and tore a piece off. “What does that mean?”
The waiter interrupted him before he could answer and they placed their order. She asked for a small rib-eye and he ordered New York strip. Once they were alone again, he decided to answer. “Seeing you nearly die today shook me up. I didn’t want to be alone.”
“I can’t understand why you’d choose me, but I can understand why you’d want company.”
“Look, it’s just dinner. Don’t analyze it to death.”
“Sounds good to me.” She drained her wine glass and held it out for more. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head either,” she admitted and smiled wryly. “I dreamed about you the other night. We got a call and when we answered it, we were right in the middle of the zombie apocalypse.”
He laughed. “The Walking Dead, huh? What happened?”
She proceeded to tell him how they battled flesh-eating monsters using nothing more than their defibrillators and syringes. The conversation led from her dream to their favorite television shows. Shane discovered he enjoyed old westerns like Bonanza and Big Valley, while she revealed her penchant for English murder mysteries. He even managed to make her laugh, regaling her with stories from his childhood when he’d loved to skateboard, until he’d gotten so heavy he’d broken his board. “I found out pretty quickly that body building didn’t mix with every sport.”
“True, I guess you probably wouldn’t excel as a gymnast or a long distance runner.”
He pinned her with a stare. “I can squat, ass to grass, nearly five hundred pounds, but don’t ever doubt my stamina, baby.” Brodie winked at her. “I can go all night long.”
Shane blushed, figuring she’d never get a chance to prove that claim.
Their food came and it looked so good, the conversation died down while they ate. He was attentive, making sure her wine and water glasses stayed full. When she went to go to the restroom, he stood up as she left and helped her with her chair when she returned.
His behavior was driving her batty.
Shifting in her chair, Shane was confused. One minute he was treating her like shit, the next he was treating her like nothing had happened. She held back the question until she thought she’d burst. Finally, she could hold it back no longer. “Why are you being nice to me?”
Brodie winced. “I’m trying to make things right. I have to tell you…” He faltered, stopping to take a drink to fortify himself. “I’m trying to tell you that I lied.”
“Lied? About what?” Shane didn’t feel like speculating.
“What I said. Her name.” He shut his eyes and took a long breath. “I wasn’t thinking about Mary when we were together. You were the only one on my mind that night…and every night since.”
Shane’s eyes widened. If he’d just told her the moon was made of green cheese, she wouldn’t have been more skeptical. “What are you saying?”
The waiter came to ask if they wanted dessert and after he deferred to Shane, who declined, Brodie waved the man on. He waited until they were alone before he answered, “I’m saying that I’ll never be whole again. My heart and soul are gone, there’s nothing left where they used to be but emptiness. I can’t even think about loving anyone else. To me, that would be the ultimate betrayal to Mary’s memory.”
“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say. Shane couldn’t imagine being loved like that.
She was jealous.
Jealous of a dead woman.
He held his hand up to indicate he wasn’t looking for her sympathy, then shocked Shane when he lowered that same hand to cover hers. “I know I can’t be what you need. You deserve a man who’ll worship the ground you walk on. I regret treating you the way I did. Your attention, your openness, your attempts to befriend me and be kind to me reminded me of everything I’d lost. My attempt to push you away backfired on me.”
He stopped talking and Shane was afraid to breathe, afraid she’d miss something he said.
“I can’t stop thinking about what we did, how it felt to be with you. The whole damn thing was so amazing I dream about it every night.”
Slowly, he began moving his thumb over her skin, making her nipples bead into hard knots. “I hate myself for how I hurt you. If I could go back, relive that moment, it would be your name on my lips not anyone else’s.”
Shane’s breath hitched in her throat. He had to stop. “Brodie…”
“No, I have to say this.” He turned her hand over in his and began caressing her palm. “My body is desperate. I can never offer you anything but sex, but I’m desperate for you. My heart and soul will always belong to Mary…but she’s not here. None of that is fair to you…but…”
Shane felt as if she was balancing on the edge of a deep precipice. She felt numb. Her tongue was dry and her heart was beating faster than the wings of a hummingbird. “Finish what you were going to say,” she whispered.
Brodie fought his demons, feeling as if he were sailing over an unknown horizon. As the words Here There Be Dragons adorned many ancient maps, warning mariners that they were approaching uncharted waters, Brodie knew this would be a decision he couldn’t come back from. Once he was unfaithful to Mary’s memory, he could never undo it. “I want you. I want you in my bed. I want you in my bed with every fiber of my being, but…I can’t ask you to do that. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Shane felt like she’d been pummeled. She felt weak and sore. What he’d just said flipped her world upside down. For him to admit that he desired her, in spite of all the protests he’d made, all of the harsh and hateful words he’d spoken – she was having a hard time reconciling the two. Jerking her hand back from his, she lifted it up to cover the base of her throat. “Do you mean what you’re saying or is this just another way to torture me? You know I want you, you know how I feel. Are you just being cruel?”
Brodie shut his eyes. Her pain was his. “No, I’m not being cruel. I’m being honest with you. If things were different…”
“If things were different, we’d be together? Don’t hand me heaven with one hand and snatch it back with the other.” Standing, she rummaged in her purse, throwing down three twenties. “Thanks for the company. The meal is on me.”
“Hell, no.” He tossed the money back to her. “I pay. Sit back down, Shane. We’re not through.”
“Yes, we are.” She punched some buttons on her phone. “I just called a cab.” She had to leave, she had to get out of here while she could. If she stayed one more moment, she’d get down on her knees and beg him to give her anything he could. If she let him know that the scraps he could offer meant more to her than what any other man could give her – sh
e’d be at his mercy. “I thank you for saving my life. I thank you for all you’ve taught me. And for the record, I want you too. I think if you let yourself, I could make you happy. But, you’ll never accept that. You can’t open your heart up enough to give us a chance. So, to protect myself, I’m going to go. Goodbye, Brodie.”
Brodie didn’t turn to watch her leave. He couldn’t, it hurt too much.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“You're coming tonight, right?” Chief Logan spoke to Shane as he passed her desk.
“I’ll be there, yes. I can’t wait to meet Jenna.” She gave him a grateful smile. The day had been quiet, no calls. The only problem with that, was being in the same place as Brodie, trying not to look at him, trying not to notice how he was following her every move with a hooded gaze.
Watching the clock, she counted the minutes until she could escape. Being around him was dangerous. She’d walked out on him, knowing he wanted her, knowing if she stayed one more minute, she would’ve been down on her knees begging him to make love to her.
“Arg!” she exclaimed, hitting the desk with her fist.
“Sounds like you’re ready to…walk the plank.”
Looking up into Brodie’s eyes, she steeled her resolve to keep the distance between them he’d asked for, the distance she’d worked so hard to achieve. “No, but I am considering mutiny.”
He raised one sexy eyebrow. “Oh, no. Your Captain won’t permit that; he’s too interested in your booty.”
“Stop it, Brodie.” Shane rose and walked to the filing cabinet to return the hard copy of yesterday’s report.
“What happened to Mr. Walton?” he asked, just hungry to keep the conversation going, no matter if what they were saying made sense or not.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I think he’s lost his mind.”
“You might be right,” he admitted. “Are you busy tonight?”
Her heart lurched. “Yes.” She thanked Jenna Gray for giving her an excuse. She was weak where this man was concerned.
“Me too.” He gave her a smile that she couldn’t quite read. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
Brodie held her gaze, his hands stuffed in his front pockets, which stretched the fabric over his immense cock. One of the regrets she had was that she hadn’t gotten a chance to see, touch…taste that part of him. “Yea, okay. You take care.” Shane winced as she added that last part. When would she stop caring? She wished someone would give her a timetable of how long it would take to get over him.
When he moved around the corner, she made her escape, ducking into Chief Logan’s office. “What flavor pie does Jenna like?” She had to run into Austin to pick up a gift for Aunt Bess’s birthday and while she was there, she’d thought about stopping at a place her aunt had raved about. The small bakery was the only place Bess said could make a pie as good as her own.
“Jenna? Coconut. Me? Chocolate.” Logan grinned. “And she loves me so much, she’d want you to give me her share, so two chocolate ones.”
Shane laughed. “I think maybe I can swing both.”
Brodie’s eyes followed her as she left. Like he’d confessed the night before, his whole body ached for her. He’d lain in the bed shaking, remembering how it had felt to pump his cock into her welcoming warmth. For so long he’d abstained, mourned, done without something that no virile man in the prime of his life should have to do without. Now that he’d had a taste of her, he was addicted – craving – so starved for her that he was almost mad with longing.
And oddly – no one else would do. He’d tried to interest himself in anyone else, mentally reviewing his list of acquaintances, eligible women who’d run to him if he called. None of them tempted him – only Shane.
Ducking into Logan’s office, he met his Chief’s conspiring gaze. “This is your chance, Walton, don’t blow it. See you at 6:30.”
Brodie gave him a salute. “Thank you, sir. I’ll make you proud.”
Logan groaned. “Playing cupid is so tiring.”
* * *
Upon arriving at Gray Wolf, Shane was enthralled. She’d known her boss and his wife lived in the country, but she hadn’t realized they lived on a real working ranch. Shane felt like she’d stepped onto the movie set of a western. There was an actual rodeo arena with cowboys wandering around. Having eyes, she couldn’t help but notice one or two of them were hunks. If she thought any of them could make her quit thinking about Brodie she’d have… No, she wouldn’t have.
In spite of Brodie’s recent change of heart, she’d had enough rejection to last a lifetime. If she were Catholic, Shane might consider joining a nunnery. Maybe if she joined a few meet-up groups on knitting or pickling, they would accomplish the same thing.
“Welcome!” A voice chimed out. Shane turned to find a beautiful young woman, her face so alight with life and joy it was almost blinding. She was also very, very pregnant. “Shane, I’m so glad to meet you!”
“Hello, Jenna.” She greeted her hostess. “I brought pies. Coconut and chocolate.” She held out the box.
“Chocolate.” She smiled. “Logan got to you, didn’t he?”
“Guilty.”
“Come on in. Logan’s going to be a little late. He ran over to a neighbor’s house to help him pull a tractor out of the ditch. Micah Wolfe, do you know him?”
“No, I don’t think so,” Shane answered as she took in her surroundings.
“I told Logan to invite him and Madison over, so you might get a chance to meet them.”
“Great. You really do have a lovely place here,” Shane observed as she followed Jenna across a stone entranceway. “When are you due?”
“Thank you. Logan gave me this house as a birthday present. He wanted his parents to have the ranch house, so we moved closer to the river and built our dream home. The man spoils me.” Jenna grinned. “I love him so much. He’s been my life since I was sixteen years old. And I’m due…” She glanced at the clock. “Yesterday.”
“Oh, my Lord. Do I need to worry?”
“No. You’re an EMT, for goodness sake!” She grinned. “Besides, look.” Jenna raised a walkie talkie to her lips. “Hey, baby.”
“Jenna! Are you all right? Do I need to come home?”
Shane smiled as she heard her Chief’s voice.
“I’m good, I just wanted to tell you I love you.” Shane could see Jenna’s love for Logan in her face, it was undeniable. Envy crept over her like a rising fog. She didn’t begrudge the woman her happiness, Shane just wanted some of her own.
“I love you too, Angel. I’ll be home in a few minutes. Micah and Madison are coming with me.”
“Good.” She winked at Shane. “Over and out. Come on in.” She opened the screen door and walked in ahead of Shane, holding the door open for her. “I’ve prepared beef tenderloin tonight. Does that sound good?”
“Very good. I’m sure you’re a wonderful cook. Logan always looks satisfied.”
Jenna laughed. “Oh, that has nothing to do with my cooking.”
Shane blushed. Jenna appeared to be the younger, but certainly not in experience. There was little doubt the woman was well loved by her husband.
“Can I help?”
“You can spread garlic butter on the French bread.”
“Point the way.” In a few minutes, they were working together and chatting like long-lost friends.
“Have you been to the Hill Country Galleria, yet?” Jenna asked, pouring Shane a big glass of sweet iced tea.
“Thanks. No, I haven’t. Are there a lot of good shops there?”
“Yes.” She patted her tummy. “As soon as this baby hatches, we’ll go.”
“I’d love that.” Shane grinned. “I haven’t been around a baby in a while.”
“You need one too.” Jenna got a conspiring look on her face. “Logan tells me you and Brodie are perfect for one another.” In the process of taking a big drink of tea, Shane choked so hard that Jenna had to hand her a paper towel. Beating her on the back, she murmured. “
Sorry, didn’t mean to make it go down the wrong way.”
When she recovered, Shane wiped her eyes. “I knew your husband was up to something!” A horrific thought occurred to her. She pinned Jenna with a stare. “Don’t tell me that Brodie Walton is coming tonight.”
Jenna folded her hands on the top of her ample tummy. “Okay. I won’t tell you.”
“Oh, I feel sick.” Shane laid her head on the table. “Brodie and I don’t get along. We get on one another’s nerves. We’re like two porcupines trying to get through the same crack in a fence at the same time. He’s going to be so pissed when he finds out. Maybe, I should just leave.”
To Shane’s surprise, two voices yelled “No!” at the same time. Jenna’s and Brodie’s.
“I’m not pissed you’re here, Wilder. I’m glad to see you.”
“See.” Jenna elbowed her.
“Gives you someone to torture, doesn’t it?” Shane grumbled.
“Who’s torturing who?” Logan asked as he came through the back door. “Hey, baby,” he kissed Jenna before he spoke to anyone else.
“Shane thinks I want to torture her,” Brodie continued the banter.
“I’ve got some nipple clamps you could use.”
The unfamiliar voice in the room had Shane trying to peer around Brodie’s massive form to see who had entered.
A handsome man with longish sandy hair held onto the hand of a cute girl whose cheeks were a bright pink. “Micah, please don’t embarrass me around your friends,” the girl whispered.
“Awww, Fellows, come here.” He drew her close and kissed her forehead. “Aren’t I always good?”
“Hey, I’ll take those nipple clamps.” Brodie held out his hand. “Brodie Walton.”
“Sorry.” Logan stepped between them. “Shane Wilder and Brodie Walton, this is Micah and Madison Wolfe from next door. Shane and Brodie are EMT’s at the station. Madison is in nursing school and Micah is a rancher/Equalizer/erotic romance writer.”
“Seriously?” Brodie slapped Micah on the arm. “Man, you are my hero.”