by Sable Hunter
Shane didn’t say so, there was no use, but Brodie was the one who gave up on her. “This is probably the worst timing in the world, but I need to give my notice. The last thing he asked me was for us not to see one another again. I want to honor his request. If there’s any way I can transfer to another department in the area, I’m requesting to do so.”
“I don’t pretend to know what’s going on,” Logan said, standing and looking down at Brodie. “Of course, I’ll help you anyway I can. All I’m asking is that you sleep on it. All right?”
Shane knew she wouldn’t change her mind, but she agreed to his request. “Yes, sir. I’ll do that.”
Logan glanced at his phone and smiled. “I’ll check on him in a bit. I’m being paged.”
“I hope everything goes well. Tell Jenna I said hello and that I can’t wait to see the baby.”
“I’ll do it.” He gave her a hug and Brodie one final look. “He’s a good man, Shane.”
“Yes, he is. I know he is.” Once Logan was gone, she stood by Brodie’s bedside. He looked so still. She could see his chest rise and fall, and for that she was grateful. For several minutes she stood there, staring at his beautiful face. “You get better, you hear me, Brodie Walton? I know you don’t want me here, so I won’t stay. But I’ll be checking on you until I hear you’re okay.” Knowing she shouldn’t, but being unable to resist, Shane bent over and tenderly kissed his cheek. “I’ll tell him or her what a good man you are. I love you, Brodie Walton. I love you with all my heart.”
As she turned to go, dashing tears from her cheeks, she walked right into Sawyer Lewis. Shane could tell by his expression that he’d heard some or most of what she’d said. “I have to go, Sawyer. Could I call you and check on him?”
Sawyer delayed his answer. “Sure, of course. You’ll be back though…”
She nodded, not knowing whether she’d be able to stay away or not. “Sawyer, Brodie doesn’t want to see me.”
“I’m sure you’re wrong.”
There was no use to debate the matter. “There’s nothing I want more than for him to be well.”
Sawyer followed her to the door. “When he wakes up, I’ll tell him you were here.”
She looked back at Brodie sadly. “No. Don’t do that, he won’t want to know.”
* * *
During the next two weeks, Shane worked off her notice.
To her husband’s surprise, Jenna Gray delivered a healthy eight-pound baby boy, so the Chief was off with his wife and new baby for a few days. She, Orion, and Lyndon kept things going and a man named Bryce Baker came from Fredericksburg to fill in.
Brodie’s accident put a damper on everything. Shane didn’t make a big deal about it in public, but she hung on every bit of news anyone could tell her about his condition. Four times, she returned to the hospital. The first three, she went to his room, sitting by him until a nurse asked her to leave when visitation time was over.
Each time, she stole a kiss.
That he wasn’t waking up was a source of constant worry for her.
But on her fourth trip, she’d come just to his door, about to go in, when Shane heard his voice. Twin emotions hit her simultaneously – absolute relief and an immediate desire to flee. Bracing herself on the door frame, she stayed still to listen to him speak for a few more seconds.
“I don’t eat damn green Jell-O!”
Shane had to smile. His grouchiness meant he was on the mend. Without going in, she slipped back out the way she’d come.
Brodie would be none the wiser.
Work became a source of peace. Shane was able to lose herself in the tasks, take comfort in those she was able to help. Every time she passed Brodie’s office, she felt an ache in her chest, wishing things could be different. But they weren’t. He didn’t want anything to do with her or the baby, and she was intent on giving him exactly what he wanted. In the beginning, she’d pushed herself on him when he’d warned her not to. Well, she’d learned her lesson. Shane wouldn’t be making the same mistake twice.
Once Chief Gray returned, he pulled some strings and got Shane an interview with the Chief of the Westlake station in Austin. This would mean moving, but she’d already spoken to her apartment manager and explained things the best she could. If the transfer went through, she was told they’d let her out of her lease with only one month’s rent penalty. While this was less than ideal, Shane felt lucky it wasn’t more.
When the day arrived for her to go to Austin for her interview, Shane was as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Remembering her first day at the Stonewall Station, she recalled her run-in with Brodie. Hopefully, she wouldn’t instantly antagonize anyone at Westlake.
The drive over to Austin gave her time to think. Word on Brodie was that he was much improved. He’d come out of the comatose state with no repercussions and his other injuries were healing on schedule. Shane knew he was scheduled to be released from the hospital, most probably today. Every time her phone rang, she jumped, she didn’t know why. He wasn’t going to call; he’d made his position perfectly clear. Brodie Walton wanted nothing to do with her or their baby. The best get-well gift she could give him was exactly what he’d asked her for – her absence.
As far as her baby was concerned, Shane was finding joy in the anticipation of her child. The morning sickness was ever present, but at least it was confined to the mornings now. By the time work began, the nausea was at a manageable level. She was dreading confessing to her new boss that she was pregnant, Shane hoped her condition wouldn’t jeopardize her chances at the position. Bringing up the baby alone would be difficult, but countless other women did it every day.
Once she located the fire station, Shane found a parking place and tentatively approached the entrance. “Well, hey, pretty lady!” A handsome young guy with long dark hair hailed her from atop a fire engine.
“Hello.” She smiled back at him. “I’m Shane Wilder. I have an appointment with Chief Olsen.”
“Well, my name is Jensen Kincaid. The Chief’s office is through that door and down the hall, last office on your right.” He saluted Shane. “And welcome, I hope you get the job.”
She nodded. “Thanks, I appreciate it.” Stepping up to the door, she reached for the handle, only to find it open for her.
“Welcome, I’m Maverick Cross.” A big man moved back so she could enter. “Chief Olsen is expecting you.”
“Thanks.” Everyone was being so nice. She was relieved. “I like your shirt.” Shane pointed at his red T-shirt emblazoned with the words. Ask me about my wife.
“Me too.” Maverick grinned, pulling the bottom of his shirt out, so he could see the words himself. “She doesn’t like me to wear it, but I love this thing. My wife is Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Eve Winters. Have you heard of her?”
Shane couldn’t help but smile. “Actually, I have. I never miss her column. She’s pretty amazing. Congratulations.”
The best word Shane could come up with was beaming, the man was beaming at the mention of his wife. To see a man so obviously in love and proud of his wife was a joy to behold.
“I agree. If you take the job, I’d be pleased to introduce you two. She loves to meet new people; the woman never encounters a stranger.”
“I hope I’ll get the chance.”
Maverick directed her on her way and in a few moments, she was seated in front of a very serious looking man – until he broke out in a huge smile. “So, I hear you’re Bess’s niece! Welcome!” The older gentleman came around and stunned Shane by giving her a hug. “My dad almost married that woman. If she’d said yes, I would’ve been in hog heaven. No one could make a better pie than your aunt.”
“You’re right about that.” Shane felt instantly at ease with the man. Thanks to Aunt Bess. “I’m so grateful you are allowing me to interview for the position.”
“Logan Gray speaks highly of you. You weren’t in the position very long. Anything you want to tell me about that?”
; A lie rose to her lips, but she bit it back. “I made the mistake of getting involved with someone I worked with…and it didn’t end well.”
Ted Olsen pinned her with a stare. “I would hope you learned your lesson. It’s always best not to…mix work and relationships.”
Shane had a feeling he was about to phrase it in a much less dignified manner. “Lesson learned. Believe me.” She felt herself blush.
“All right. You certainly aren’t the first this has happened to. And you won’t be the last, but we do have an unwritten rule about work relationships here.”
“You won’t have a problem with me. My focus is about to be on something else entirely.” She cleared her throat, dreading what else she had to say. “Chief Olsen, there’s something else.”
He raised one bushy eyebrow. “There is?”
“Yes, I’m pregnant,” she said the words quickly, like she was afraid she’d wouldn’t say them if she didn’t rush.
Leaning forward, the Chief gave her an even stare. “Well.” For a good fifteen seconds, they sat there in silence. Shane felt like a bug under a microscope. Finally, he spoke, “I guess you know that discriminating against a pregnant woman is against all EEOC regulations.”
Shane still said nothing.
“The position that you’re applying for requires physical stamina. Are you going to be able to perform your duties?”
“I suffered with some morning sickness for a while, but that’s dissipating. My doctor tells me I should be able to work until the baby comes.”
“Why don’t we evaluate your ability as we go along. You could always help me with the paperwork.”
Shane’s eyes widened. “You’re speaking as if I have the job.”
“Yes, I am. Never let it be said that Ted Olsen didn’t do his part for motherhood.”
By the time the interview was over, Shane felt like Chief Olsen would be a father-figure to her. He even inquired about her plans for the baby. “If you’re interested, my niece runs a great daycare not too far from here. I could introduce you. I’m sure having the baby close and with someone you know would be a comfort to you.”
“I’d love that,” she’d agreed. After that, Chief Olsen walked her around the station, introduced her to everyone, then took her out to lunch. Now, she was on her way back to Stonewall with the assurance that when her time was up, another job awaited her.
All would be well, if her heart still didn’t ache for Brodie Walton.
* * *
A few days later…
“Monday’s your birthday, wanna go out for a beer?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Why don’t you just call her, hardhead?” Sawyer handed Brodie a glass of iced tea.
“Call who?” Brodie gave his friend a deadpan stare. Sawyer settled himself in the lawn chair next to Brodie, both gazing out at his oak-strewn pasture land. In the spring, the field was filled with bluebonnets. Brodie could still picture Mary running barefoot through the flowers, her arms held high as she tried to capture the morning rays of the sun.
“You know who, the same person you’ve been brooding over since you regained consciousness. Brooding Brodie. Fits. You know, some people come out of a comatose state with a new degree of clarity. Have you had any revelations, maybe that you’re being a horse’s ass?”
“Don’t, Sawyer. You don’t have a clue what’s going on. My head still hurts and you aren’t making it any better.” He stretched out one long leg to prop it up on a small wicker ottoman.
“I know you were seeing Shane before the accident. I know you did something stupid that night, something that made her think your wreck was her fault. I know she’s the best thing that has ever…”
“Stop!” Brodie shouted, holding up his hand. “I can’t deal with this right now.” Last night, he’d spent hours going through photographs of his time with Mary. He’d gone through a half bottle of Jack Daniels as he’d poured over picture after picture, reliving the joy he’d shared with the woman he’d thought would be with him for the rest of his days. Brodie had been a little perplexed that the lancing pain he normally felt when viewing these memorabilia wasn’t there. He’d felt sadness, a sense of loss, but he’d been able to breathe and remember it all with fondness. The devastation was lessening. He wasn’t ready to tell Sawyer, but he’d boxed up the photos and stored them in the attic. A first step. A first step toward what, he didn’t know. That decision was for another day.
“I think you need to deal with this, Brodie. Just call her.”
Brodie gave Sawyer a scathing look. “Why are you being such a pain? You don’t have a clue about me and Shane.” No, he’d never told Sawyer about the arrangement he had with Shane, mainly because he knew his friend would have called him on the shameful deal. Sawyer also didn’t know about the pregnancy. Or how he’d acted like a total jerk. Where once he only felt guilt over Mary, now that emotion had multiplied a dozen fold over his treatment of Shane.
He wanted to call her, but he didn’t know how. The one personality trait that he never thought would apply to him – now did. He was a coward. A total fuckin’ coward. One dream had slipped through his fingers and he didn’t have the courage to dream again.
“I know she came to the hospital and cried over you. I know she kissed your ugly mug goodbye and whispered that she loved you. I heard her.”
Brodie stared at Sawyer, his news hitting Brodie hard. “She did?” He was surprised. After the way he treated Shane, he didn’t think she’d ever forgive him. To hear that she said she loved him sent a shock through his system, an elated shock. Although, he shouldn’t have been surprised, a woman like Shane didn’t give herself to a man like she had with him, not without feeling something.
Since finding out Shane was pregnant, he couldn’t get the image of her round with his child out of his mind. He’d been fantasizing about a little boy or a little girl and the thought he’d never see his child was unthinkable. Yes, he’d been trying to turn around and go back to her when he crashed. And he would go to her, he just needed a little time to come to grips with all of this. “I’ll talk to her when I go back to work in a few days.”
“She came to see you more than once, Brodie. My friend, Hilary, one of the nurses, told me she saw her there several times, sitting with you and holding your hand.”
Brodie stood up and chunked his glass across the fence.
“Well, that was smart. You almost brained a rabbit.” They both watched the startled bunny dash across the grass for a safer spot.
“I’ve done something horrible, Sawyer.” Brodie shook his head, moving slowly toward the fence. “I let my love for Mary and my sorrow at her death turn me into someone I never thought I’d be.”
“I saw you and Shane together, remember? I called you on your behavior.” Seeing Brodie’s slumped shoulders, he added. “But I also saw the fear on her face when she rushed through the ER doors, the night of your wreck. She was terrified for you. The woman cares for you, Walton.”
Grimacing, as if he had a sour taste in his mouth, Brodie finally began to talk, his eye on the far horizon. “As you probably know, I was drawn to her.” He laughed wryly. “Who wouldn’t be? She’s so alive, so vibrant, so beautiful. I knew she was drawn to me too. God only knows why.” He put one foot on the bottom rail of the fence, folding his hands together on the top. “I played her for the fool, took advantage of her sweet nature and her…attraction for me. As a man, I craved the body of a woman, but I never intended to engage my emotions or my heart again. I thought I buried love and happiness in the grave with Mary.”
“Ye gods, Brodie, what did you do?”
His friend’s question was uttered softly, but there was a trace of disapproval that ate at Brodie’s craw. “I deserve your reproach. I deserve her reproach. I went to her, offered a physical arrangement – just sex. Nothing else. Even when I knew she wanted something different, when I realized she was…becoming attached, I just pushed her for more. When we would share a meal or…” Br
odie stopped, swallowing hard. “I never failed to remind her that I’d never care anything about her.”
“How could you, Brodie? You aren’t a cruel man. The Brodie Walton I know has a heart as big as all outdoors.”
Brodie hung his head. “I let my grief make me crazy. I resented Shane because she was alive and Mary wasn’t. I almost hated her because I wanted her so much.”
“Fix this, Brodie,” Sawyer urged. “You need to fix this.”
Hearing his friend utter the very words he’d slung at Shane, Brodie wanted to throw up. “That’s what I told her. She’s pregnant. I told her to ‘fix it’. I told her I never wanted to see her again.”
“My God, Brodie, what were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t. I was so shocked that I just lost it.” Putting both hands on his head, Brodie tore at his hair. “I’m ate up with regret and shame, Sawyer. There was a time when I had my future all mapped out, but I don’t trust this world anymore. I can’t trust myself. I can’t trust my heart.”
Sawyer went to his friend. “Stop. Quit torturing yourself. It’s not too late. Shane is still here. She’s having your child. You can still have it all, Brodie.”
“I don’t know what I want, Sawyer. I do know I want to be part of my child’s life.” Brodie let out a long cleansing breath. “I’m going into work Monday. I won’t be on regular duty, but I can sit at a desk. The Chief hasn’t even been updating me on things, I’m tired of not being in the know. I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Face to face.”
* * *
“Brodie! Glad to see you back!” As soon as he came through the door, he was surrounded by his own crew and the firefighters.
Everyone except Shane.
He wasn’t surprised. She wouldn’t run to greet him. After the way he’d treated her, Brodie completely understood. Today, he planned on apologizing. Again.
“Thanks. I feel a lot better.” He shook everyone’s hands, his eyes glancing around the station, hunting Shane.