"Are you—I mean, are you sure?"
He swallows and looks away from me, studying some speck on the wall for a second. His finger is still tapping. The rhythm is steady, but not soothing. He looks like a jittery mess.
"Yeah, Nicky. I'm sure."
He sounds anything but. I decide not to let this bother me and turn towards a side door that will lead us to the student parking lot.
We don't say anything as we drive out of the school. I don't know if anyone spotted us. I hope they didn't. I can just imagine the crap storm that would result if word spread that Nicole Tepper was seen getting into Adam Hutton's car. Dale would have a conniption if he knew. He's a pretty forgiving guy, but he makes sure to keep me as far from Adam as he can. He still doesn't trust him.
I peek a glance at Adam as he turns onto Big Bear Boulevard and starts heading for City Hall. His knuckles are white, his jaw clenched tight.
"You know, they probably won't let us just waltz into his office."
"I know." Adam's voice is thin.
"Do you think you'll lose your nerve if we have to make an appointment or something?"
"I'm not leaving 'til I tell him." The words only just make it out through his gritted teeth.
I look out the window, slightly bug eyed. What the hell have I started?
This is good, right? I mean Adam should have 'fessed up six months ago when this all went down. I'm not being mean by forcing him to do this. I'm not technically forcing him to do it, am I?
Oh Nicky, shut the hell up! Just think about Dale.
I force images of the world's best human into my brain, playing with a memory from last weekend when we went for a really flat, gentle hike through the forest near the back of my place. He's determined not to let me fear the environment I nearly died in, so he has been coaxing me to walk amongst the trees. Last weekend was great. My gimpy leg made it further than it ever had without hurting and during our "rest" break, I was thoroughly rewarded on the picnic blanket Dale had laid out for us. I blush, my skin growing warm as I remember his hands sliding up my jean-clad thigh, his lips warm and intense on my mouth, the weight of his body on mine, making me feel safe and secure...the way he had to suddenly roll away and collect himself before he went too far. I love that I can do that to him. I guess it's kind of mean, but it's good confirmation that he's into me. I try to cling to every one of those moments.
The fact that in a few months’ time they will cease to exist nearly cuts off my air supply. I try to counter the mild panic attack sweeping over me by slowing my breathing and blinking at my rapid tears. Thankfully, Adam doesn't notice. He's too distracted by something in the rearview mirror.
"Oh shit." He slams the wheel, making me jump.
That's when I hear the siren. Reluctantly, Adam flicks on his indicator, and we pull to the side of the road.
"Is that your dad?" I swivel to look out the back window and wince.
Adam doesn't say anything, just taps his finger on the wheel and looks straight ahead.
A few seconds later, his door is clicked open and Sheriff Hutton is leaning into the car. His stern glare increases tenfold when he sees me in the passenger seat.
"What the hell is she doing in your car?"
I totally get why Adam is so scared of his dad. The look on Sheriff Hutton's face screams murder. I can't maintain eye contact.
"Get out of the car. Both of you." We have to obey the steely voice. Much to my disgust, we both jump to do his bidding. I try to counter my direct obedience, by slumping against the car and throwing the sheriff a black look.
I fold my arms across my chest. Adam stands next to me, his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground.
"Where are you two going?"
We keep our lips sealed. I glance at Adam, but he won't look at me.
"You should be in school."
"It's our lunch break. Seniors are allowed out for lunch." I spit the words at him.
The Sheriff approaches me on swift feet. "Last I checked, you're not a senior, Miss Tepper."
I roll my eyes and lean away from him.
"Now what are you getting my boy into?"
My eyes dart towards the angry face then back to the ground. I'm really trying to pull off nonchalant, but the sheriff is making it damn difficult. My pulse is so fast, I think my veins might start breakdancing. I rub my elbow, a nervous habit I've picked up since the accident.
He leans in closer. I can smell the black coffee on his breath. "You trying to get my boy in trouble?" His granite stare is fully nailing into me. I try to twist away, but he moves to invade my space again.
"Get out of my face!" I push his shoulder.
He looks incredulous as he steps back and reaches for his cuffs. "You attacking an officer of the law?"
"What? Don't be stupid. You're using intimidation tactics!"
"Tell me where you're going."
"Forget it. It's none of your business."
"My boy's not my business?" The sheriff points at his son before getting into my space again. Slamming a hand on the car either side of my body, he leans forward, trapping me. "You better not be stirring up trouble, girl. Remember what I told you yesterday."
My gaze turns molten. I can feel it. "And remember what I told you."
A tendon in his neck pings tight. His mouth makes this horrible shape, and his fist rises into the air. This fully freaks me out. I'm about to scream until an iron grip clamps around the Sheriff's wrist.
"Dad, stop."
Adam's voice starts out soft, but the sheriff is still straining against his son. His menacing whisper is growing darker by the second. "I'm going to finish you, you little bitch."
"Dad!" Adam yanks his father back. "Stop!"
The sheriff's eyes round with disbelief and then flash with sorrow, before growing malevolent once more. "Don't let her talk you into doing this, son. You get back in that car and head back to school. Right now!"
"No, Dad." Adam's voice is quivering, but he stands tall in spite of this.
"Adam, get back in the car!"
"I'm not going back to school. I have to do this."
The sheriff's face crumples, his shoulders sagging just a little. "No, son." His voice softens, replaced with a gentle, persuasive tone. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to throw your life away." He gently grips Adam's shoulder. "I won't let you. You've worked too hard. You're too brilliant."
"Dad." Adam's voice breaks and he looks as though he's about to burst into tears.
"It's okay, son." The sheriff pulls him into a firm embrace. "I'll write the reference letter, okay? I'll give her what she wants...and then this will all be over. We can move forward."
His voice is kind and sincere and I see Adam's head bob. I'm about to smile with relief until the sheriff throws me a vicious glare. I shrink back from it and place my hand over my throat.
Sheriff Hutton releases his son and pats him on the back. "I'll make some calls tonight and write the damn reference."
"Do it now," I say.
"Excuse me?" His eyes are on me again, evil and threatening.
"I want you to make those calls right now. I want to hear you talk to your brother." I rise as high as my short body will let me and stick out my chin.
Before the Sheriff can complain, Adam opens the passenger door for me. "I'll drive you to the station."
Adam's around his side of the car before the Sheriff can say a word. We do a U-turn and head back to Summit Boulevard. Adam doesn't look in the mood for chatter, but I can't help myself.
"Thanks for standing up for me."
He shrugs and shakes his head.
"I thought he was going to kill me for a sec, or at least beat the crap out of me."
"Dad doesn't hit anymore."
His quiet statement makes my eyes bulge.
"Your Dad used to...to beat you?"
Adam snickers and shakes his head. "He wouldn't call it that."
I frown.
"Let's just say my ass was redd
er than a tomato if I ever got in trouble. One time, I couldn't sit down for an entire day."
"What'd you do?"
"I accidentally broke his car window playing baseball. My brother missed the catch, and it went straight through the glass." He grimaces.
My stomach quivers. My parents were never like that. I'd been smacked like once. I was about seven, and I'd just told mom to shut up and stop being such a bitch. I didn't realize Dad was behind me. I got a swift slap on the leg and a very firm reprimand. I spent the rest of the day in my room thinking my parents were evil child bashers.
Man, I had no idea how lucky I was.
I can't say anything else after that. My throat is too clogged.
Fifteen minutes later the Sheriff is slamming down his phone. A stark contrast to the plastic, jovial conversation he's just finished conducting. "My brother has Finnigan's details and will talk to the admissions office first thing in the morning."
I nod and smile.
The sheriff looks ready to pummel me.
I clear my throat. "And the reference?"
He looks from Adam to me and with painful slowness, swivels in his chair and opens up a fresh document on his computer. I know it's ballsy, but I step around his desk and watch him type. His neck tendons are straining big time as he hits each key forcefully, compiling a very nice reference. I'm nodding my head with approval as I read it.
See! Not so hard. Dale Finnigan rocks!
The ease with which the Sheriff slaps something together, is proof the guy knows Dale is good. He’s just decided to have this thing against him...all because he nearly busted his son.
What a prick!
"You misspelled upstanding." I point to the missing i. "And privilege doesn't have a d in it. Also, you need to swap the e and the i around in the word receiving."
If the Sheriff could have killed me now, he would have. I swear.
Thankfully, Adam's nervous chuckle distracts him. "Thanks so much for doing this, Dad."
Sheriff Hutton presses print. The machine in the corner starts whirring and spits out the reference.
Grabbing up a pen, he scribbles his signature on it. "I shouldn't be having to do this." His gaze is stern as he eyes us both down.
I try to ignore how unnerving it is. "Do you want me to scan that for you?" I point to the letter.
"I'll get Walter to do it. As soon as I know who to email it to, I'll do it." His teeth are clenched so tight I can barely make out the words.
"Excellent. Can you BCC me into those emails please? Just so I know they've been sent." My voice is so friendly and professional it almost sounds foreign. Go me!
The Sheriff rises from his seat.
"Let me be very clear, Miss Tepper."
I swallow. That cold and calculated tone has me waiting on a death threat.
"I don't ever want to see you in my office again, do you understand me?"
I nod.
"I don't ever want you talking to my boy again."
My forehead wrinkles with a frown as I glance at Adam.
"Don't look at him!"
My eyes shift back to the Sheriff, but not before noticing the sorrow cresting over Adam's face. Somehow I don't think it has anything to do with me.
"You leave my kid alone, you understand me? We've done you this favor, now stay the hell away from us."
"Yes sir," I finally mumble.
Collecting my bag, I walk towards the door. Adam stands to join me.
"Son. Stay here. We need to talk."
A spike of fear runs through me and I almost don't want to leave Adam alone with his dad, but his gentle hand nudges me towards the door, opening it wide so I can leave. He gives me a stoic smile before closing the door in my face.
Chapter 9
I feel awful as I walk away. What is Adam's dad saying to him right now? Is he yelling at him? Beating him? The images in my head are nauseating. Adam has the potential to do whatever he wants with his life, but he's being suffocated by a dad that he fears. I hate this. I want to help him.
My triumph at getting what I want is being completely overthrown by my heartache. I hate the idea that I feel sympathy for a guy who tried to kill me, but I get it. I mean I really get it.
Sheriff Hutton scares the shit out of people. Living with him must be a nightmare.
"Hey, Nicole. Wait up!" I spin at Adam's call and am relieved to see him running down the station stairs, injury free.
"Are you okay?" I grip his arm as he reaches me.
"Yeah." He shrugs. I know he's lying. I'm starting to realize how much of his life he's spent doing that.
"What'd your dad say?"
"Just the usual bullshit about how I'm a weak coward, and if it wasn't for him, I'd be nowhere in life." He pulls the keys from his pocket and with a head flick directs me towards his car.
"What if your dad sees?" I hesitate.
Adam’s grin is bleak. "Don't worry about it. His lecture was cut short by a phone call he couldn't ignore. There's still more to come tonight so I may as well break the rules in between." Adam's eyes are glassy with tears. He sniffs a couple of times as we walk toward his car.
I slide into the passenger seat and give him a smile as he starts the engine.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with him every day."
Adam scoffs as he pulls out into traffic. "I don't know any different, Nicky. He's always been in charge, and it didn't take me long to figure out that it's just easier to do things his way. I'll be free soon. After the summer."
"At Columbia, right?"
Adam nods.
"Is that where you want to go?"
"It'll be okay."
"Adam." I tip my head. "That's not what I asked. What do you want to do with your own life?"
"I don't know." He shrugs. "I have no idea because I've never been given the option of thinking about it."
"Okay." I keep my voice calm to contrast his. "Well, if you could think about it, like now. What did you used to dream about becoming when you were a kid?"
Adam's laughter is strained as he shakes his head.
"Come on, Adam. Play my game."
The car slows as we stop at the intersection. His finger taps the wheel, and finally, he sighs. "A Navy SEAL."
"Huh?"
"I wanted to join the Navy, see the world, and train to be a SEAL."
"Wow!" I can't help smiling. "That's intense. I've heard being a marine is super hard."
"I've grown up with my dad. What could be harder than that, right?"
We both chuckle.
"You'd be good at that."
"No I wouldn't."
"What do you mean? Yes you would. You've got the right build, you're smart, and you’re athletic."
"I'm a coward, Nicky." His quiet omission fills the car with a heavy silence.
The intersection is clear, but Adam still hasn't moved.
"You don't have be, you know," I whisper. "Bravery's a choice. It's not something you're born with or without. It's something that grows inside you each time you choose to stand up and fight for the right thing. Each time you choose to speak out instead of staying silent." I sniff. "Each time you take on a force greater than yourself for the sake of others." Tears slip down my face. I don't know why I'm suddenly crying. My speech was supposed to help Adam, not send me scrambling for a Kleenex.
I guess it just suddenly occurred to me that for once in my life, I was actually being brave. I'd fought for Dale today. My emotions were a mixture of pride, astonishment and ultimate heartache.
Adam lets out a derisive snort, which at first I think is directed at me, until he starts spinning the car around and heading away from school.
"Where are you going?"
"To city hall."
"What? Why? Your dad's already written the letter. You don't have to do this, Adam."
"Yes I do." His voice sounds strong for the first time all day. He glances at me. "Do you really want the Sheriff of this town being some guy who tried to murder you and get a
way with it? My dad's a bully and Big Bear deserves better. If I go down, then Dad does too. I don't want to do it, but it's not just about me anymore, Nicky."
"I'm not going to press charges against you." I shake my head. "If they come to me, I won't deny what happened, but I'm not going to press charges, okay?"
"You can if you want. I deserve it." He grips the wheel as we turn into the city hall parking lot.
He pulls the car into an empty space and switches off the engine. We sit in frightened silence for a minute, both just breathing.
"Do you want me to come in with you?" I finally ask.
"Nah, I need to see him on my own first. I'm sure he'll want to chat with you after this anyway." He suddenly grabs my hand, giving my fingers a tight squeeze. "Promise me you'll tell him the truth."
"I'll do my best."
His lips twitter with a smile, and he lets me go.
I walk around the car as Adam locks it. His fingers are shaking as he shoves the keys into his right pocket.
"What you're doing is really brave, you know?"
He scoffs. "Probably the first brave thing I've ever done."
"Which makes it epic."
His smile is filled with appreciation as he glances down at me. I grin back, but can't hold it as he walks towards the building. I'm rooted to the spot until I can't see him anymore. With a shaky breath, I turn back towards school.
I know it will be too far to walk, but I make my way out of the parking lot and head in the right direction anyway. Thanks to my limp, I'm hardly a speed demon, and I'll quickly get too tired. I look at my watch. I've only got about 5 minutes before I need to be there. I limp a little faster, but know it's a waste of time.
With a reluctant sigh, I pull my phone from the side of my bag and decide it's time to reply to Dale's text. I'm just unlocking my phone when a squad car screeches to a halt in front of me.
Chapter 10
My breath hitches in my throat. My eyes bulge wide. The only thing I can think to do is turn and run.
But I can't. My stupid ass leg won't let me. I kind of end up in this fast-paced hobble, which is swiftly brought to an end when the sheriff wraps his vise-like arms around me and pulls me to a stop.
Beyond (BOOK 1.5) Page 5