“No.” Her voice resigned, Nicole continued, “I’m not going to tell you what to do or how to feel, and I’m behind whatever you decide, okay? Always. Now, I’m hungry. I’m gonna make a snack.” Nicole got up and walked into the kitchen to put something together to eat. Walking in the kitchen, she saw that Anya must have been making something and disregarded it after her mother’s phone call and watching the news of her father and brother. “Hey, Anya?” Nicole yelled.
“Yeah.” “Looks like you were making a sandwich and cutting carrots, you want me to finish yours, since I’m making one for me?”
“Uhm no, I’ll come in and finish. You don’t need to do it for me.” Nicole stuck her head out and into the living room. With an eyebrow raised, she sarcastically replied to Anya, “Hey, I think I’m capable of making two
sandwiches. Do you want me to or not?”
“Uhm yeah, thanks. I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick, okay?”
“You don’t need my permission, Anya.” Anya tightly laughed. “Yeah, I know.” As she stood, she took her phone with her. Walking into the bathroom, she closed and locked the door. She put the lid on the commode down and sat. Taking her phone in her hand, she tapped on her Google app and searched for a way to block a cell number when you call someone, so that they can’t track your number back. She found the page she was looking for and learned that all she had to do was dial starsix-seven before the actual phone number she was calling. She sat there, debating whether to call or not. Finally, choosing to call if just to say thank you. So, she held her breath as she dialed star-six-seven and the number she would never forget and listened to the ringing, waiting for him to pick up.
At the very same moment, Calix was sitting on his couch, flipping through the channels on the TV. He should eat, but, honestly, he hadn’t really had an appetite since Anya left, so he sat there, nursing a scotch on the rocks. His phone, sitting on the coffee table next to him, began to ring, but the caller ID was blocked. He almost let it go to voice mail, because he never answered if he didn’t know who it was, but then again this was his private cell, not his company cell. Only a hand full of people knew this number. He picked up on the last ring before his voice mail would have picked up.
“Hello.” The phone line was silent. “Hello? Okay, I don’t know how you got this number, but I’m hanging up now.”
“Calix…” He froze; it was Anya. He pulled the phone down to look at the number she was calling from then remembered it was blocked. She really didn’t want him knowing anything about where she was. He took a good sip from his scotch before he answered her. He tried his best to keep the emotion out of his voice. His uncle was right; emotions were a weakness. He fell for her and allowed her to hurt him. He wanted her back. He missed her, but he would not let it show. “Anya, how are you?”
“I’m fine, I–I called to say thank you.”
“Thank you?” “Yes, I didn’t keep my side of the bargain with the wedding, but you still did what you said you would do, and you didn’t hurt my mother.”
Calix rubbed the cold glass against his forehead. Fuck, how could he not show her his emotions? He needed to be honest with her, being cold and hard had never helped when dealing with Anya. “Anya, I was never going to hurt your mother, and neither were the people your father borrowed the money from.”
Anya was confused by his admission. “But you said, you said…” “I lied, Anya. I knew you would do nothing for your father, but your mother, was another thing.”
“You lied? How could you?” Anya eyes were starting to shine with building tears.
“Anya, I wanted you and was going to do anything to have you. You wanted nothing to do with me when I tried to talk to you.”
Anya was starting to breathe heavily. “You bastard! You don’t hurt, lie, or threaten people to get what you want. What is wrong with you?” She had started this conversation trying to keep her voice down, to not alert Nicole that she was on the phone, but now she was yelling. And, just like she thought, Nicole was alerted by her yelling and started knocking on the door. The door muffled her voice.
“Anya, Anya, are you okay?”
“Yes, thanks, Nicole. I’ll be out in a minute.” Calix heard her speaking to the person she was with, a Nicole he heard Anya say her name, but he knew of no Nicole’s that were associated with Anya.
Anya returned to conversation with Calix. “You are a heartless bastard, and to think I called to thank you and to tell you I actually felt—I felt—never mind. A shark who is nice to the guppies is still a shark.”
“God damn it, Anya, I love you!” He yelled through the phone. “I’ve loved you for years! I’m not your father, I don’t just take because I feel like it.” He was
breathing hard now, too. His voice calmed as he finished. “Anya, I’ve been yelled at by my uncle and my mom, and, yes, I deserved it. I handled things with you so badly. I was just mad with love and wanting. And you came with your demands, wanting nothing with me. I snapped, I was wrong, but…” He swallowed hard then continued. “But, I thought that I was making it up to you. I thought we worked past that day. I thought we were happy these last couple of weeks. I guess I was wrong, because you left running and crying.” Empting his heart to Anya had him breaking down until he was almost in tears, but he didn’t want her to hear him cry, so he tried hard to hold it in so he could finish his piece. “I was so happy when you called and said you were late, and when the test was negative, you seemed upset, too. I thought you had actually started to feel something for me. Stupid of me, I know. I did what I did with your father to try to not only keep my word but also to make up for the pain I caused you. Don’t worry, though, I won’t bother you again.” And with those parting words Calix hung up on her.
Chapter 25 Anya sat there, listening to the dial tone. He’d hung up on her, wait…he also said he loved her, wait…he wasn’t going to bother her again. Did she want that? Yes! Bastard lied to her, but he said he did it because he loved her and wanted her so badly. She set her phone down, leaned forward, ran her fingers through the front of her hair, grabbed two fists full, and started to cry.
Nicole was standing outside the bathroom door. Though Anya said she was fine, Nicole stayed and listened. Now, she could hear Anya crying. She knew that Anya had to have been talking to Calix. Who else would she call a bastard? Well, other than her brother or father, but she wouldn’t have called them. She knew she might be stepping over the line, but she couldn’t stand there and just listen to Anya cry. She stretched up onto her tippy toes and reached along the edge of the
bathroom doorframe. There was a key hidden up there, just in case there was ever an emergency. Her fingers slid from one side to the other until she felt the key. Ah ha! Nicole yelled in her head.
Key in hand, she unlocked the door and slowly opened it. What she saw broke her heart. Anya was crying so hard she didn’t even look up at the sound of the door opening. Nicole walked to where Anya sat and kneeled down in front of her. Nicole slowly began to lift Anya’s chin and push her hair out of her face. Nicole’s voice was gentle and slow, calming, like a person would use talking to a baby or wounded animal.
“Anya, honey, calmed down, tell me what’s wrong?” Anya looked into Nicole’s eyes and fell forward, wrapping her arms around Nicole’s neck and just sobbed.
*** Calix hung up on Anya. His voice almost broke talking to her, and his eyes were shinning with the tears he was trying to keep bottled up, but he was unable to. As he blinked, tears slid down his cheeks. So, he just leaned his head back and closed his eyes. What was he going to do? He couldn’t win; he was honest with her, and she called him a bastard. He’d lied, and she hated him for giving her no way out. It was too late to call his mother, but he needed to talk he needed perspective. His uncle would be awake. Vito was probably at his favorite restaurant, but he may be doing business. Taking a chance, Calix decided to call him.
“Parlare (Speak).”
“Zio?”
“What do you need
, Calix?”
“I need to speak with you.”
“About what, Calix? I’m waiting for a meeting.”
“Anya.”
“Calix, I will call you tomorrow when I’m free.”
“Yes, Zio, sorry to have bothered you.”
“You’re family, it’s not a bother, but business needs done, yes?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, ciao.” Vito was upset; Calix was not letting go of Anya, and he needed to. He
understood love and wanting. He had spent a lifetime watching Maria with his brother. Craving her after their one stolen moment, but he knew he couldn’t have her. It was hard to be with another woman when his body wanted Maria. But, he was not going to live like a priest. He made do with women, who looked similar to Maria, always picturing her, and sometimes he would cry out her name during climax. The women knew their place and never complained.
Calix didn’t want to let go. He said he didn’t want company, but maybe Vito should give him a bit of a push. Vito raised his hand and gestured for one of his capos to come over. When his capo leaned down, Vito quietly told him what he wanted him to do.
“Without a lot of show, get Natalia and take her to Calix’s penthouse. Use my name at the front desk. I’m on the list and don’t require approval. Let her in then wait till she’s done. Give her a gift from me and then take her home.”
“Si,” was all his capo had said in reply before leaving the restaurant. Vito wasn’t sure if he was making the right move, but he had to help Calix see that he was not going to get Anya back, and he needed to move on.
***
Calix had filled up his scotch glass for the fifth or sixth time. He wasn’t going to sleep tonight without passing out cold. How did his uncle live this way with no one to go to, no one to want you? Calix
wondered how he, himself, had lived almost forty years that way. Anya had took everything in his world and flipped it inside out, and, now, he didn’t only not know how to put it back, but he also didn’t know if he wanted it back.
He was just about to sit down again when someone started knocking on his door. Funny, the front desk hadn’t
announced a visitor. He went to open the door and was shocked by what he saw. There stood Natalia, hair pulled back the way Anya usually wore her hair. Instead of her normal smoky eyes and red lips, her makeup was light and pleasant. Her dress, though tight, wasn’t trashy; it was a simple black dress with a sweet heart neckline, showing the tops of her luscious breasts. The dress must have been tailored for her. It fit like a glove and ended right above her knees, and her normally strong, overpowering scent was nowhere to be smelled. Instead, she had a soft rose scent.
Natalia could tell Calix had been drinking; he smelled of scotch and had a nearly full glass in his hand. Vito had asked for this favor, so she would do it despite Calix’s drunken state. It wasn’t exactly torture. She had seen Calix around and had been attracted to him for a while now, but girls like her didn’t get guys like him, and, with her current status and past, no matter how much Vito liked her, he would never allow it. Oh well, someday, she would find her prince.
“Hi, Calix, your uncle mentioned to me how you wanted someone to talk to. Since he was busy with business, he asked me if I’d mind being an ear for you.”
Calix, hanging onto his door, took another drink while looking her up and down. “You’re here to talk?”
“Yes, but if you want me to go, I will.” “No, it’s fine come in. “ He waved her in with his empty hand, then let go of the door and turned to go inside, leaving the door open for her to come or go. He walked back to his bottle of scotch and filled his glass again and then sat on his couch.
Natalia followed him in and shut the door behind her. Then she went to sit next to him on the couch. Calix just sat there, looking at her and drinking.
“So what has you so upset, Calix? I’ve never seen you drunk.” Calix’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not upset, and I’m not drunk,” he retorted harshly.
“I’m sorry; my mistake,” she replied quickly. “So, did you need to just talk about business, bounce some ideas off someone?”
“No. My fiancé left. I just needed to get my mind off her.” Seeing her ‘in’, Natalia leaned in closer to him and played with one of his buttons as she spoke in a sultry voice. “I can take your mind of her.” She leaned in closer and kissed his lips softly. In reaction, he pulled his head back from her. She didn’t let that stop her, though, she kissed down his neck, down his chest till she came to his zipper. She unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. He was semi erect. She knew some drunken men needed a little work to get them hard, so she wrapped her hand around him and took him into her mouth. She worked him up and down, and, after a bit, he started to moan.
Calix wasn’t surprised by what Natalia was doing, after all, that’s what she did for the family. But, he wasn’t hard. He leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and tried to enjoy what she was doing, but he couldn’t. Then he started to think about his last night with Anya and how she had appeared when she took him in her mouth, how she was so unsure. She had even asked if she was doing it right. His tigress. He moaned, picturing Anya, and got hard instantly. He was so enthralled by his fantasy of Anya, he moaned out her name as he grabbed a handful of Natalia’s hair.
“Oh fuck, Anya, mmmmm, love, yes.” Natalia felt Calix grab and pull on her hair, and she even heard him moaning out Anya’s name. It wasn’t the first time a man had called out another women’s name with her. She tried to not let it bother her, pushed it out of her mind, and sucked more vigorously.
Calix was so drunk and lost in his fantasy and so close to his climax, he completely forgot who he was really with. He didn’t want to finish in Anya’s mouth, no, he wanted to plant his seed. They had been trying for weeks to get her pregnant. He pulled her off, push her down, and got on top. He was kissing her neck and pushing her dress up and her underwear to the side. He grabbed himself to push into her, but he always loved how Anya’s eyes rolled when he entered her, so he looked into her eyes, and, just as he was about to enter her, he stopped cold. Anya’s blue eyes weren’t looking back at him. No, these were brown eyes staring back at him. He pushed himself up and off her and backed up to the other side of the couch.
“Calix? Why’d you stop?”
Calix started to put his dick away while he told her curtly, “Get out.” Natalia was confused; he was enjoying himself just a minute ago. She tilted her head to the side; and her eyes scrunched. “What?”
“I said get out! Get the fuck out now!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. Startled, Natalia jumped up and fixed her underwear and dress. Not knowing what to do because this had never happened to her. She just apologized, “I’m sorry, Calix, I thought…”
“Just leave now,” Calix said coldly as he got up and headed to his bedroom. With Calix gone, she briefly looked around the room. Knowing Calix wouldn’t change his mind, she walked out the door and left.
Calix went into his bathroom, turned the shower on cold, striped, and got in. He was still hard. He hoped the cold water would take care of that. God, what had he almost done? How could he have even let Natalia touch him? Calix lowered his head and rested it on the tile under the spray as he pounded his fist on the wall. Fuck, Anya, what have you done to me? I can’t even get hard without thinking of you. Not really religious, though he was raised a Catholic, he prayed, Please, please, God, help me. I need her too much, please, help me.
Chapter 26 Anya finally stopped crying long enough to tell Nicole everything about her conversation with Calix. Nicole was able to get Anya out of the bathroom and onto the couch and made her a cup of tea to help soothe her nerves. Anya’s face was blotchy from all her crying, her eyes were puffy, and she was still sniffling every so often.
“Anya, you haven’t eaten, and it’s past eleven, are you sure you don’t want me to make you something?”
“No, but, uhm, do you have
something that can help me sleep? Beca
use, I don’t think I’ll sleep any other way.”
“I think I have some over the counter stuff somewhere.” Nicole got up to go look in her room for the sleep aide. While she was gone, Anya kept going over and over what she had said to Calix and he to her. ‘You bastard…you heartless bastard.’
‘God damn it, Anya, I love you!’ He’d told her the truth about everything and told her he was in love with her, and what had she said? What had she done? Nicole came back into the room, shaking a white pill bottle in her hand.
“Here you go, sweetie. It’s natural stuff, a mix of melatonin and valerian root.” Anya reached for the bottle, briefly read the directions, then took out two pills, and swallowed them down with her tea.
“Thank you, I know you’ve only just woken up a couple hours ago, but I’m drained and just want to try and sleep.”
“Don’t worry, honey, I have a TV in my room, and I can never get too much sleep. I work three to midnight tomorrow, but I’m sure I won’t be home till well after midnight, so extra sleep is always good. Night, I’ll see you in the morning.” Nicole gave Anya a brief hug, then she got up and went to her room.
With Nicole gone, Anya lay down and went over everything again. Her conversations with her mom, Nicole, and Calix, and then she went over her time with Calix. She’d not only enjoyed their intimate moments but just the time they spent together, eating dinner, watching TV, and talking. Her mother was right; she had never backed down from any fight. If her reason for running that night had been the reason she said, she wouldn’t have waited so long to leave.
She would have left before it happened, hell, she would have even left before the dead line. She would have taken her mother and left her father to deal with his aftermath. She was, in fact, in love with Calix. Despite her being irritated the night of the fundraiser and blowing him off, she had found him attractive. Did this really all happen because of her fear of love, of being hurt by a man the way her father hurt her mother? It was clear now: she had come face to face with her fear, and she had seen what she was trying to hide from herself. In that moment her decision was made. She got up and went into Nicole’s room.
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