by Aline Hunter
One day, I’ll show him. Then he’ll understand all I’ve sacrificed.
He came at her, arms extended. He thought he was going to catch her?
Ignoramus.
Her vision caught the movement, centuries of agonizing training kicking in. She shifted her weight, unaware she’d done so. His fingers swiped her arm but slipped away as she moved. He was more than foolish for taking her on. The egotistical shithead was out of his head.
Fool.
A simple glide and she sidestepped out of his reach a second time. She brought her arms to her chest, curling her fingers to taunt him. “Is that the best you’ve got?”
He thought he could bring it? If he kept up like this, she could go all night.
She caught a shadow in her peripheral vision.
Someone had decided to watch.
She didn’t turn, eyes attuned to Trey. She’d make sure the dumbass served as a reminder of what she was—of who she’d been to her coven—a protector and vampire warrior in her own right. She hadn’t survived all these years by being slow or stupid. A part of her hoped Ava was watching. Her beliefs wouldn’t let Sadie harm the woman while she was pregnant but once Ava’d delivered her baby all bets were off. The horrible woman had hurt Leigh in the worst way imaginable. There was no excuse for that.
Aldon be damned.
Trey rushed her but she dodged carefully away. All she needed was an opening. She didn’t want to kill him—that would kill her—but she could make him suffer. She’d draw this moment out and make it last, taking his blood even if it meant spilling it and not drinking it. It was no less than he deserved. He’d hurt her so many times in so many ways. Even after she’d given her body to him, offering herself on a plate served with a side of fuck-me-over-pretty-please.
She should have known that wouldn’t be enough.
Men—whether they were shifters or not—always wanted more.
“I hate you!” she screamed, aiming a punch at his head. But she knew it was a lie. She didn’t hate him, far from it. If only she could.
You’re so fucking weak! Grow up.
She kept swinging, uncaring where the blows landed.
After all this time she was tired and emotionally exhausted. Without the welcome venom of outrage to give her strength she was ripped open and bleeding out. She couldn’t keep going. Not anymore. Everything finally managed to catch up with her, taking her down several pegs. It shouldn’t have bothered her so much. Eventually everyone had a breaking point. She just hadn’t thought Trey would be the reason she’d finally found hers.
There was no choice but to accept her fate.
She’d made the decisions to bring her to this point in time.
Damn it. Damn him.
At that point it was only about hurt and despair, loss and fury. She wasn’t in control anymore, left to the mercy of the man she wanted to pummel. He would reduce her to nothing. Even worse? With a bit of praise or sweetness she’d let him. What good was immortality if it left her so weak? What was the point of living if this was all she had to look forward to?
The walls fell away, leaving her naked and painfully aware of herself.
He could see her now—scarred, battered and bruised.
Who gives a shit? He doesn’t care. Why should you?
“Hate you,” she breathed, pumping her fist into his chest, trying to convince herself it was true. “So much.”
“I know.” Trey didn’t fight, accepting each slam of her knuckles into his hard pectorals. “I don’t blame you. Let it out. Let it go.”
Let it go?
All the pain she’d locked up unleashed, her misery swinging wide open. Her knuckles ached, the muscles in her arms felt heavy as she tried to lift them. She kept swinging, breathing past the agony. Her target was the invisible phantom that kept her from finding any measure of happiness. The shadow of her heart offered a glimpse of what she wanted most only to take it away time and time again. Goddess, she couldn’t let him win. Not like this, due to her lack of emotional integrity. He’d taken too much. She couldn’t give him this too. Not if she expected to look at herself in the mirror. Her pride was on the line.
How could he respect her if she didn’t respect herself?
“I’m sorry. I wish you knew how much.” He caught her hands, holding them tenderly. She held her breath, trying to find the strength to pull away. “Turn all that hate into something else. You don’t have to be the strong one anymore. You don’t have to be afraid. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe. You have me.”
“Have you?” Anger, warm and welcome, revived her. Yanking free, she yelled, “How could I? I never had you.”
“You’ve always had me. I was too stupid to admit it.”
“You son of a bitch!”
She took another swing and he took her down, capturing her in his embrace, using his size and strength against her. She screamed, letting herself go, accepting the inevitable. He had her now. The fight was over. To make sure Leigh survived she had to surrender. Her life wasn’t the only one at stake. And—even if she loathed it—she wanted Trey. She always had.
He knew it too. He’d always known.
That was her ultimate degradation.
“How did I come to this?” Goddess, she sounded pitiful. “I’m a fool.”
“No you’re not.” He snaked his fingers into the hair at her nape. Pulling her head back, he forced her to look at him. “Don’t ever say that again.”
It was hard to see him now, her vision blurred by tears.
For a moment she thought she gleaned sympathy and dread in his expression.
“Foolish,” she repeated, running on empty.
“Never,” he rebuked her. “Never, Sadie.”
But she was. Eventually he’d know it as well.
She broke down, crumbling in on herself.
There was nowhere go. No safe place to run.
She’d finally hit rock bottom.
And it was all her fault.
It felt as though something unlatched in Trey’s chest. He watched Sadie’s face blaze triumphant in rage only to scatter to ashes in defeat. She cried, her tears like ragged blades ripping into his soul. He wanted to give her what she wanted but he didn’t know how. She’d said she hated him and he believed her.
Why shouldn’t she? He’d given her no reason not to.
“Let her cry it out.” Diskant emerged from the shadows. “It’s what she needs.”
“Is it?” Trey asked quietly, trying to hold his mate and figure out what the fuck to do. Diskant was one of his oldest friends and the Omega was mated. Perhaps he did understand. Needing some kind of answer, he started babbling, “I’ve failed her every single time she’s turned to me for something. I thought she’d understand how important she is after I claimed her. I thought she would understand how I feel.”
“She’s a woman,” Diskant replied as though it explained everything. “They’re prone to mood swings. Trust me.” He stepped into the light, a scowl on his face. “I know what Ava did. I understand her reasoning, even if her actions were harsh. I came to apologize.” He looked at Sadie, furrowing his brows. “I think it’s a bit too late for that.”
Trey felt like lashing out but kept his temper in check. “She told you what she did?”
“Not exactly,” Diskant answered and peered over his shoulder. After a moment, his attention returned to Sadie. “The connection I have with Ava… It’s changed.”
For the first time Diskant was revealing what Trey suspected—that Ava and Diskant communicated in some telepathic form. They’d tried to hide it but Trey was around them too much not to notice. Everyone knew Ava could hear the thoughts of humans. Many suspected she could enter the minds of shifters too. Now Trey knew for certain. Ava had a powerful ability. No wonder Diskant always knew so much. He remembered her telling Diskant she’d been listening to Sadie’s thoughts as they’d approached the house.
That was how she’d sensed their arrival.
She’d been eavesdr
opping.
“She told you what she was doing and you didn’t tell her to stop?”
“She didn’t tell me shit,” Diskant spat, angry. “The only reason I’m sharing this is your mate is the same. We’re both in the same fucking boat.” He huffed, shuffling his feet. “Ava doesn’t know her mental shields have weakened in the last few weeks. I can hear her even when she tries to block me out.” His jaw clenched, shoulders tense. He studied Sadie differently, glowing yellow eyes combing over her form. “I didn’t know you’d be paying us a visit. When your mate is in better shape we’ll have to find out how much she knows about Ava. We need to understand what’s going on.”
“You think she’ll tell you? Now? After what Ava’s done?” A growl crept up Trey’s throat. “If Sadie knew what Ava had planned do you honestly think she’d have left Leigh here? Do you truly believe she’d have come to us and not taken the woman somewhere else? Ava just fucked everything sideways. She’s done damage that might not be repairable.”
“Ava didn’t want to confront the woman,” Diskant chided. “Not until she broke down a second time.” Diskant’s vibrant gaze swept to Trey. “Not cool, by the way.”
“Not cool? Are you serious? You’re coming at me with not fucking cool?” Trey cracked his neck, trying not to succumb to the fury of his wolf. “I’ll tell you what’s not cool. Your female threatened a woman she promised to welcome to her home. She threatened Leigh and gave her no way out. How’d you think Sadie would react? My female isn’t a weak-minded bitch. She doesn’t want to rock a jock or whine for attention. She’s a fighter. Ava lit a match that started a fucking fire.”
“Be that as it may, we’ve got shit to sort.” Diskant shifted his weight, taking a step closer. “You’re in no frame of mind to think through things clearly. Good thing you have me.”
“Oh fearless Yoda,” Trey snapped, broken as Sadie cried. “Guide me.”
Show me the fucking way, you son of a bitch.
Ava had fucked things up in the most colossal way. Before her interference things had been peachy keen. Leigh had lost it but Sadie could have calmed the vampire down. Now? Trey knew he was fucked, fucked and fucked. Sadie hated him. She’d said so very clearly. All of her hurt and pain had come at him hard and fast, the impact slamming into him full force.
How did I manage to fuck her up so badly?
How do I repair the damage?
“We have to prioritize. Bitching at each other like a couple of pissy old women won’t accomplish squat. You need to screw your head on tight and listen up.” Diskant kept his outward exterior calm, despite the fact Trey could feel the man’s tension. “If we want to survive this we have to put things in order. Handle yourself. You’re acting like an ass.”
“I’m listening.” And he was, but it took all of his willpower not to sweep Sadie off her feet and carry her away. He bit back his fury because Diskant was right. “Start talking.”
“I thought we should make Leigh leave. She might be safer somewhere else.” Diskant smirked when Trey snarled. “I said I thought. Past tense.”
“And now?”
“The pack is our primary concern.” Any hint of amusement in Diskant disappeared. “If we can gain their support then we’re on the right track.” He met Trey’s eyes, intent etched in his distinct features. “We have to have their support. Do you feel me? If we don’t, nothing else will matter.”
Anger bled away, replaced by a cold bitch-slap of reality.
Shit. Diskant was right. Again.
Without the pack, they’d be fucked.
As an Alpha, Trey needed his brothers and sisters for strength. It went without saying Diskant did as well. As an Omega Diskant fed off the power of others. Once it was gone Diskant became a mere shifter. Certainly he could still shape into any form but he lost the edge that gave him substance. Trey would too without a pack standing behind him.
Their lives—even if they sometimes sucked—consisted of a constant checks and balances system.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“We’ll hold a meeting and announce your newly mated status,” Diskant responded. Oddly enough the Omega sounded cautious, like he was about to say something he knew Trey wouldn’t want to hear. “You can introduce them to Sadie, give them whatever story you choose and make it clear nothing’s changed. You have to convince them that the mating changes nothing. You’re still their Alpha and you’ll put their needs above yours.”
“Where’s the catch?” There was one, Trey knew.
“You’re going to tell them she hasn’t bitten you. And you’re going to make damn sure they believe you too. You’re going to tell them you’ve taken the vampire as a mate but you’ll never let her feed from you. Not ever. You can’t become a familiar if she takes blood from another source. They can’t fear her in that capacity.”
Trey couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He’d given Sadie his word. He’d sworn he’d accept their mating before the pack. That meant accepting all of her—eating habits included.
“Did Ava hit you with the stupid stick? They’ll know she’s taken blood from me.”
Diskant growled—the sound a combination of the cat, wolf and bear that resided inside the Omega. “Keeping them on our side is our primary concern.”
“We won’t build the foundation from a lie.” If they did, they’d pay in the future. “They need to understand what’s at stake. They have to accept Sadie isn’t a danger. Who she feeds from isn’t important. Her loyalty is what they should be worried about.”
“Listen to me, goddamn it.”
No. Not this time.
He’d been born long before Diskant. The Omega was smart and loved the shifter races but Diskant had no idea of how the pack reacted to a lot of things. They’d never buy such a shit story. They’d know Trey was lying. Especially those who were mated themselves. Bedroom sessions always got out of hand. There was no way Sadie wouldn’t get a bite or nip in when they got horizontal. Shifters bit each other during sex for fuck’s sake.
“No,” he growled, shaking his head, rejecting the plan. “We’ll deal with it another way.”
“We have Shepherds at our back and fucking vampires at our front.” Diskant advanced, no longer giving polite suggestions. “You will convince the pack the mating wasn’t of your choosing. They can’t know you’ve been keeping this from them. You’ll tell them you were just as shocked as they are but it is what it is. If they discover you haven’t been honest and have kept her a secret they’ll hang you out to dry. This is about more than you or your mate, by the way. In case it’s slipped your fucking notice we’re trying to prevent genocide.”
Damn it.
Trey wanted to clock his friend in the face and tell him to fuck off.
Maybe he could get the pack comfortable with the idea of having Sadie around. After all, they’d accepted a Shepherd and human. Shitty things came in threes. Obviously his number was up. There was no exit strategy. No way to make things safe for everyone.
“I talked to Kinsley.” Diskant informed him.
“And?”
“He’s on board.”
It took a minute for the words to sink in. Fucking-A.
Kinsley MacGregor—the Alpha who influenced all the feline shifters—would be an ace in the hole. With his backing the Alphas from the prides would fall in line. Trey frowned, holding Sadie a little tighter. Unless the man decided to cut and run on a whim. Feline shifters were solitary creatures, looking out for their interests before anyone else’s.
“You sure?”
“I am.” There was zero doubt in the reply.
“What’s he bringing to the party?”
“Centuries of knowledge.”
Like that explains anything. “Enlighten me.”
“This happens every few hundred centuries.”
“The world goes to shit?”
“Shifters mate with vampires.” Diskant gazed over his shoulder again, making sure no one was listening in. After several seconds
he looked at Trey. “It’s not uncommon when the world gets off-balance.”
Off-balance? I’ll take understatement of the fucking millennium Alex.
“Her heart,” Trey motioned to Sadie, relieved that she’d quieted, “is broken because of me. I was so concerned about what the pack would think I treated her like dirt. She’s suffered enough. I won’t turn my back on her and lie about how things are. Excuse me if I don’t give a shit about things being off balance.”
“She’s smart. Give her a chance to be part of this.” When Trey opened his mouth to speak Diskant snarled, “Your female has existed for a long time without you. She’s earned the right to voice her opinion in the matter.”
Something clicked, a lock sliding into place. “You trust her.”
“Ava trusts her. Don’t ask me why. I don’t have an answer.”
Ava trusted Sadie. Really trusted her. “And you trust your mate?”
“What do you think?” Diskant asked, agitated and out of patience. “If Ava thinks Sadie has the power to heal the pack, why should I argue? She got them to accept Mary.”
“She announced her pregnancy.” Trey broached the topic with caution. Diskant remained anxious when it came to Ava’s condition, which was understandable. But it made the man more dangerous than usual. “You’re an Omega. She’s your mate. It’s good news.”
“Then maybe you should get your mate in the family way.”
An invisible fist clenched Trey’s heart and squeezed.
Family way. Sons and daughters.
My sons. My daughters.
As far as he knew he and Sadie would never have children. No boys, no girls. Vampires and shifters didn’t produce offspring. How had he forgotten that? How had it slipped his mind? He visualized little girls with Sadie’s hair and eyes, or little boys with his features. Did Sadie want children? Did it break her heart to think they’d never have any?
Will she hate me even more for taking what she wants from her yet again?
Trey released Sadie, rising to his feet. The wolf in him wanted to see Diskant bleed for the insult. His mate slid against the wall, crying softly. Diskant froze, his eyes going wide as though he’d gotten jive to what he’d just spouted.