by Nancy Adams
“She could have continued her studies.”
“With half the world’s media on her campus asking questions? Added to that, the fact that your love started from an affair while your wife—the very popular Marya Burgess—lay dying in a hospital bed. They would have eaten her alive.”
“Yes, I know,” Sam conceded.
It had been this thought, of media crusaders stampeding toward Claire, that had stuck with Sam throughout much of his deliberations over her. It was a reckless dream to think that a relationship with Sam would have any consequence on Claire’s life other than cataclysm.
“I think we should leave it there for today,” Jenna said as Sam sat contemplating everything.
“Sure,” he mumbled as he sat up.
Once she’d packed her things away, Jenna got up and went over to the glass wall. She opened the blinds, letting in the sun’s rays, which filled the room, illuminating the whole lounge. As she did, Sam sat sideways on the chaise longue and felt lighter in himself for having confessed, the burden of his secret dissipating slightly from having shared it. He also felt comfort in having gotten an outsider’s perspective. The reasons for his affair were obvious and the reasons for its end just as straightforward. He simply had to move on.
Sam watched Jenna as she moved back across the room toward him and felt a sudden movement in his heart. He felt so close to her then, having just shared a part of himself with her that had stayed locked up all these months. Because that was ultimately what he needed, someone to confide in. Marya had always been his human contact before. Then Claire, for a brief moment. And now he was feeling it with Jenna. Her presence at the Cliff Face invigorated him and he felt strong with her by his side. He even found himself forgetting the professional reasons as to why she was there. During her stay, he had often let his mind flitter away from reality toward dreams of a more romantic nature.
“Are we still going walking today?” Jenna asked Sam as he sat gazing dreamily at her.
Sam shook himself out of his reverie and replied that they were.
They went to the kitchen were they ate lunch before getting changed into their walking clothes and leaving the house. The walks were primarily part of Sam’s rehabilitation and were only supposed to happen every other day and last no longer than two hours. But because he enjoyed the company of Jenna so much, and because she was so keen to see as much of the wildlife as possible, they would occur almost every day and last up to five hours. He simply put himself through pain so that he could spend those splendid hours by her side.
An hour into their walk, Jenna suddenly bounded off in front. She’d seen a field of bluebells in the meadow just ahead and had been filled with joy at the sight. Sam, who had his cane with him, hobbled quickly after her.
“I love it when bluebells come into bloom,” she said as she knelt down in the center of the flowers and began picking them.
Sam stood and watched her for a moment. A great field of little bell-shaped flowers stretching out along the meadow, floating in between trees like a field of violet mist, covering the ground in a purple haze. And standing there immersed in it all was Jenna.
She stood gazing at him for a moment, bunches of bluebells in one of her hands, looking at him and wondering why he stared at her so profoundly. Sam moved forward and, as he came up to her, he took Jenna in his arms and brought her to his face. He pressed his lips passionately into hers and at first, she was taken by surprise. But then she felt something flow though them and her body eased up. She dropped the flowers onto the ground and raised her arms up, taking ahold of him. The kiss gained momentum and soon they were passionately embracing in the middle of the bluebells, falling slowly to the floor.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Claire sat cuddled up in front of the television with Paul. She was now only a week or so away from giving birth and was impatiently looking forward to her pregnancy’s end. Since her dash to hospital, she hadn’t experienced any further discomfort that wasn’t part of the natural experiences of late pregnancy. As to the baby, it had recovered from its earlier drop in movement and was back to kicking the heck out of her from the inside. Claire felt that the baby too was eager to leave.
Her relationship with Paul had obviously flourished in the weeks since the hospital. Of course they hadn’t slept with one another yet, the impracticalities of pregnancy prevented that long before they even considered taking things to the next level. But they had been intimate, kissing and cuddling, and a newfound energy had affected both of them.
As they watched the movie cuddled together, Paul looked to be deep in thought. He wasn’t really thinking about the movie, although Claire was engrossed in it. No. Paul was mulling over something that he’d been thinking about a lot in the recent weeks, even before he and Claire had become an official couple. It was a dream more than a thought, you could say. Something that filled him with light, and something he’d considered folly only a few weeks ago, dismissing it regularly from his mind when it would emerge suddenly from the shadows. But since they’d gotten together, Paul had become all-consumed by it.
Paul was thinking about a life with Claire that involved the baby. He was imagining them as a family.
Right from the off, Claire had told Paul that she planned to give the baby up for adoption. That was her plan and he hadn’t gotten involved in it at all. He’d not pried into things, offered only support, hadn’t attempted to give her council, respecting that he had absolutely no say in it. But now, as her boyfriend, he felt that he did perhaps have a small say in things and could at least offer Claire an alternative to giving the baby away. He was finding it tricky, however, to actually bring himself to say anything. Claire appeared pretty set on everything. Only a few days before, the woman from the adoption agency had been around showing Claire all the information. Stuff like how they were extremely selective over potential parents, how they insisted on professional couples with their own home, assuring Claire that her baby would go to a very good family and receive exceptional care. Paul had watched Claire’s expression as the woman had reassured her. He could see the resolve in his girlfriend’s eyes and the clear relief that showed on her face when the woman told her that her child would be loved and given every chance in life.
As he sat there now on the couch watching the film without interest, Paul felt that by saying something he would be overstepping a mark. But he had to. He just couldn’t stay silent.
“This adoption business,” Paul began in an earnest tone, “how far done is it?”
“I have until forty-eight hours after the birth to change my mind,” Claire replied casually as she gazed at the television. “Why?”
“It’s just…well, I’ve been thinking, Claire—about us—and about the baby too.”
“Yes, and what have you been thinking?”
“Just that, are you really sure that you want to get rid of it?”
Claire got up from his side, her expression changing to one of stern seriousness as she sat up beside him.
“You shouldn’t ask such things, Paul,” she said, a desolate wave hitting her heart.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “It’s something that I’ve been going over for some time and something that since we got together—”
“Are you dreaming of some kind of family, Paul? Is that it?”
“It’s not a dream—I could look after you, Claire. I thought it all out—”
“How?!” Claire exclaimed loudly. “You’re at least five years away from being a doctor on a real doctor’s salary. For five years you’ll barely make enough money for yourself, let alone a starving wife and child.”
“I can put off my studies for a while, get a day job and go to night school. You could too, we’d take it in turns—”
“Paul! You don’t know what you’re saying. Don’t you think that I thought about similar things when I contemplated raising the child myself? Of course I did. But when it’s all said and done, I’m just a girl with no profession. I could never offer this baby w
hat those couples at the adoption agency can. It would have ruined both mine and the baby’s life. And now you wanna get involved! One more life ruined by this. I love you, Paul, and I would hate to end up in six years with you bitterly resenting me and the child because we held you back.”
Claire turned tearily to him and took his face in her hands, gazing deeply into his eyes.
“Paul, I love you,” she said. “It took me a long time to figure that out and now that I have, let’s not ruin things by putting added pressure on it. Next year I’ll return to college, you’ll be in your final year and I’ll only be one behind. Our relationship has so much time to evolve. We’ll spend the year studying and curled up on this couch like a couple of early twenties kids with the whole world opened out in front of us. That’s what I want now. Don’t ruin my dreams along with yours.”
They both smiled before kissing delicately, a soft light opening up between them, a tenderness to their touches as they stroked and held each other.
After that, there was no more talk of keeping the baby and the two enjoyed the rest of the film cuddled up on the couch, Paul’s daydream put to rest, Claire’s own dream spreading itself over it like a veil of bright light. He felt that veil of light move over him as he contemplated their future together.
What was I thinking, he said to himself. I’m still a kid myself. She’s right, we got the whole of our lives to look forward to.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
It was the last day of Jenna's stay and Sam had planned something special for the two of them. They were now sitting on the cream leather easy chairs of Sam’s Learjet, sipping champagne from crystal glasses.
“So where is it that you're taking me?” Jenna asked as the clouds burst by underneath the window.
“Why ask?” he exclaimed with a hearty grin. “I mean, I told you it was a secret before we even left the reserve and you have to ask anyway! You’re like the little girl that can't wait until Christmas morning. Has to feel the presents, lift them up to her ear, give them a shake, can’t help asking her parents what they are.”
“You got me in one,” Jenna remarked with a wink. “Never could keep away from that damned tree.”
Sam smiled and took a sip of champagne before glancing out the window. The sun was low in the sky and was blasting the thick clouds with flashes of pinks, oranges and yellows. It was the very essence of an Italian Renaissance painting laid out below them as they raced to Sam's secret destination.
When they arrived at the small airfield and emerged from the jet, Jenna looked around them and smiled. She recognized the surrounding valleys and fields of L.A. and guessed as to where they were going. A black limousine was on the runway waiting for them and Sam guided Jenna to the car. Soon, they were working their way toward the center of the city.
Over the course of her stay, Jenna and Sam had become very close. In fact, they had gotten too close. Jenna had broken her professional code: she had slept with Sam.
All alone together at the Cliff Face, Jenna had allowed herself to stray over her professional boundaries, and she worried what the fallout would be should it ever be discovered. As to where she and Sam were going with their love affair, they hadn’t really discussed it. At the current point, Jenna was still employed within a professional capacity by Techsoft and was due to present her report in three days to the board.
In reference to that report, it is safe to say that it absolved Sam of any issues regarding his mental capacity to make judgments at this time. It looked like Bormann would have to find another angle to get what he wanted.
After presenting her findings to the board, Jenna hoped that it wouldn’t be the last she saw of Sam Burgess. They’d talked briefly about where their lives lay after this and had discussed a period of three months before they got back into contact with one another. It would also give each of them time to see if their relationship wasn’t just born of being isolated together. Jenna was sure that it wasn’t. And so too was Sam. The three months were mainly to avoid getting Jenna into trouble. They would simply have to bear things for a while, until the coast was clear to reengage their flowering feelings.
It wasn't long before they reached their destination and the chauffeur opened the door. Jenna smiled as she saw the red-carpeted pathway leading up to the front door of Francois’s. The two quickly emerged from the limo and strolled quickly up the carpet to the door, eager not to attract any attention as they did. When they stepped into Francois’s, they were welcomed in by the entire front-of-house staff, before the frontman quickly had someone take their coats, before he himself guided them to their table. Apart from the fact that she’d never received such a welcome when coming to Francois’s, Jenna was also astonished to find that the place was completely empty. Not a soul in there, nothing but rows of empty tables. Plus, it was a Saturday night and usually Francois's was full and almost impossible to get a reservation unless you were famous.
“Have they got the health inspectors in?” Jenna whispered to Sam as they were shown to their table.
Sam grinned broadly as they reached their table, which sat up in a little gallery that overlooked the entire dining room. Once they were sat, the frontman bid them adieu and their waiter took over. Once they’d ordered the wine, the pianist began playing Bach’s Piano Concerto No.1, and the whole place filled with the divine sounds of the great melody.
“Ah! And Bach too,” Jenna exclaimed.
“Yes, another find from your credit card data—you love Bach on piano!”
“His music is so beautiful,” Jenna said, closing her eyes and waving her hand gently to the notes. “Anyway,” she added, opening her eyes to him, “you didn’t tell me why Francois’s—one of the most popular restaurants in L.A—happens to be empty on one of the most busiest days of the week.”
“This took one of my people,” Sam began as the waiter returned with the wine, “over a week to organize and I had to pay off every name on that reservation list, as well as a fortune to the restaurant, to pull this off. But I wanted to take you out properly, rather than another cave!”
“I guess. Although the cave did have a better view. All I can see here is an empty restaurant.”
“You'd prefer me to fill it?” he cheekily inquired. “Because I’ll happily fill it. I’m sure I could go outside and find a hundred tramps willing to fill the place and eat an expensive meal on some rich schmuck!”
“That would be nice from a philanthropic perspective,” Jenna remarked, “but I don’t think I could stand being surrounded by it, so I’ll have to pass on the tramp feeding frenzy at this time.”
After that, they ordered their meals; Jenna stuffed pigeon with faux gras, Sam a crayfish and rocket salad with a honey mustard dressing. Both meals were delicious and they washed the food down with a bottle of chilled Sancerre white wine.
Once the meal was finished, they declined on desert and instead enjoyed the rest of the wine alongside conversation. It was then that Sam brought out of his jacket pocket a red box with Cartier written in gold lettering across its top.
“Oh, Sam,” Jenna exclaimed as he handed it across to her. “You really didn’t have to.”
“I felt I did,” he replied firmly.
Jenna held the box in one hand and opened the lid. She was stunned. There twinkling up at her was a diamond, emerald and ruby-encrusted bracelet. The sight instantly dazzled her eyes. The pattern of the stones resembled the skin of a cactus; the emeralds holding tiny rubies and mixed in with the white diamonds, the whole thing sparking in shards of prismatic colored light.
Two weeks before on one of their walks, Sam had asked Jenna what her favorite flower was and she'd told him that she'd grown up in Arizona and had a thing for cactuses. “Really?!” Sam had exclaimed as they'd walked together through some woods. Jenna had admitted that her apartment was full of them. “What do you like about them?” he’d asked. “I'm not sure,” was her answer. “Maybe it's because they survive. They live in places where not many other plants can live and yet t
hey survive. They have a tough skin but a soft inside, as well. The water found inside of them can keep a man alive for days. Yet getting to that water is very difficult. Plus, I always found them pretty. They have such beautiful flowers that bloom from them. Reds, yellows, purples. My favorite are the red, because they go so well with the deep green of the skin.”
And on that small conversation, Sam had had Cartier design her a bracelet on the concept of a cactus with red flowers, having it subsequently flown over privately from Paris. The emeralds represented the skin, the diamonds the water and the rubies the flowers. She'd received jewelry before, but never with such meaning. It wasn't so much the sparkling stones that inflamed her heart; it was that he had put so much thought into it, had based it on something from their relationship, something secret between them. Essentially, it represented them as a couple and the time they’d spent together. To Jenna, the symbolic essence of the bracelet meant more than any mere piece of expensive jewelry could.
“It’s so beautiful, Sam,” she burst out as she gazed down at it, the stones reflecting light up onto her face.
She got up from her chair, came around to him and took Sam in her arms, before craning her head down and kissing him with flaming fervor.
“Hey!” Sam exclaimed from within her lips. “Someone’ll see.”
“I don’t care,” she let out.
PART THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Okay, Claire,” the midwife said as she rubbed Claire’s back while the latter remained on all fours on the birthing bed, “you’re doing great.”
“Ahhh!” Claire cried, her face red, teeth gritted, perspiration dripping off of her.