by Maisey Yates
The new physical connection they had was enough. She had no desire to get in any deeper. Part of her still wondered what she’d been thinking to give in to the attraction that burned between them. Part of her wished she’d just walked away from the edge of the cliff instead of jumping into the unknown.
He was right about one thing. She hadn’t known. She’d thought sex would bring pleasure, but she hadn’t realized the connection it could forge between two people, not really.
Of course, she hadn’t been thinking when she’d agreed to the fling. She’d been following her most base desires instead of her intellect. Which had been her first mistake. But it was too late now. Now she knew. Now she felt like she had to let it reach a conclusion or it would always feel like it did now. Mysterious, almost too good to be real. Like she might cry just from thinking about the moment when Gage had joined his body to hers.
She finished dashing off the email and hit Send then leaned back in the chair, trying to breath deep enough to make the tightness in her chest go away.
She pushed away from the desk and stood. It was too late now. It was done. She’d made the decision, and she would accept everything that came with it. There was no point in regretting it. All she could do now was see it through. And when it was over she would be back to living like she always had, with the memory of how wonderful a few stolen moments in Gage Forrester’s arms could be.
She managed to hold the tears back the second time they were together, until she escaped to her room on the excuse that she wanted a shower, and that she didn’t want to share. Then she let it out. Tears tracked down her cheeks as she stood beneath the water.
She didn’t know what it was that made her emotions, always so under control, release completely in the aftermath of a climax with Gage. She shut the water off and dried quickly, wrapping the towel tightly around herself before returning to the dark bedroom.
He’d honored her request for darkness this time, too, pulling down the shades likely because he knew just how inexperienced she was now. But he’d been merciless in his pursuit of giving her pleasure. He’d driven her higher, further, than she’d ever imagined possible.
And when she’d reached the peak, she’d screamed her pleasure. She cringed at the memory of how completely she’d lost her control. He’d always been able to do that to her. Even if it was just by getting her to talk about things she normally kept to herself.
She tiptoed back into the bedroom, hoping that Gage was asleep.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, his voice husky and enticing in the darkness, proving that her hopes for sneaking back in unnoticed were in vain.
A lot of men had told her she was beautiful, but never while she was naked. Not that he could see her all that well with the lamp switched off, the only light in the room filtering in from behind the edges of the shades. She was used to men drooling over her looks, but being told she was attractive had never affected her in the slightest.
It didn’t matter what someone thought of her if she didn’t have any interest in them. But hearing it from Gage made new heat bloom in her belly, made her ache to have him again, despite the strength of her earlier release. Physically, she was ready anyway. Emotionally, she didn’t think she could go through it again.
She didn’t respond, she only slid back into bed, her heart hammering already, just from being near him. She rolled over to her side, facing away from him, her arms crossed tightly over her breasts.
“You don’t like to be told that you’re beautiful?” She felt the mattress dip as Gage shifted and moved nearer to her, putting his arms around her and drawing her against him.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“You’re so tense, Lily.” He moved one hand to her shoulders and kneaded her tight muscles gently.
“I’m still not used to this.”
Inwardly, Gage berated himself for putting both of them in this situation. He didn’t know what compelled him to draw her closer, to want to comfort her when she was obviously in distress. It wasn’t what he was looking for. But he couldn’t resist the urge to hold her, either, even as slight panic gnawed at his stomach.
It was the responsibility that came with bedding a virgin. He’d never done it before that first night with Lily, and he wouldn’t have done it if he would have had any idea that such a confident, sensual woman could have so little in the way of sexual experience.
Whether she believed him or not, she would remember him. Even he remembered his first lover and it had been nearly twenty-two years since the encounter. And it had only happened once. Like it or not, it was up to him to make sure she remembered her first times positively, since it would probably affect her future relationships.
He curled his arm more tightly around her as a fierce possessiveness, like nothing he’d ever felt before, coursed through him. He didn’t want to think about Lily being with another man. Ever. She was his.
Mine.
He loosened his hold on her and rolled onto his back, gritting his teeth. She wasn’t his. He didn’t want her to be. She couldn’t be.
He was having some sort of unforeseeable, uncontrollable response to being her first lover. Something he hadn’t imagined he was capable of. He wasn’t a traditional man. He was all for women being just as liberated as men when it came to sexual pursuits. Unless, of course, the woman was his sister. But he’d always sought out and preferred experienced women, so to have Lily’s lack of experience mean anything to him didn’t make any logical sense.
That he was bothered by her holding a part of herself back didn’t make sense, either. But he was. He gave himself over to pleasure when they were in bed together, but he never engaged his emotions. For him, that wasn’t a matter of holding back, that was simply how it was.
But after that first time, after that first, unexpected explosion of emotion, he sensed her fighting something, fighting him, each time they were together. He didn’t want that. He wanted to draw the biggest response from her that he could, wanted to take her to new heights of pleasure every time. He wanted to steal all of her inhibitions, wanted her to make love to him in the bright light of day with her hair down and her body revealed to him.
He shouldn’t want any of it, and none of it should matter. He had nothing to offer her. If he offered marriage what sort of prize would he be? A man who put his work before everything else. A man who would likely be just as good of a husband and father as his own father had been.
He drew her close to him again. Her virginity, her tears in the wake of a climax, none of it should matter. But it did.
CHAPTER NINE
THEY were leaving Thailand tonight, flying back to San Diego. Back to real life. Back to being boss and employee. Unless of course they were anywhere near where the media might be, then they were still an engaged couple. When they were really just a … not even a couple … just two people who had ended a recent, temporary, only physical fling.
Lily sighed and leaned back in her reclining chair, pretending to relax. That’s what they were doing, relaxing, out on the island where they’d shared their first kiss. But she wasn’t relaxed. She was aching inside and she wished, more than anything, that she wasn’t. She wished she didn’t feel anything. Maybe she should feel something, wistfulness maybe, a slight sadness that her incredible nights of pleasure were nearly over, but not this heaviness that had settled in her chest and made her entire being feel as if it was filled with lead.
Gage had been swimming, and she had been content to watch, studying his movements, his athleticism. Now, he was walking through the waves, making his way toward shore, his trunks resting low on his lean hips. And she couldn’t help but admire him. Her lover. Her lover whose body she’d barely seen because she’d only ever consented to make love with him in the dark. She knew the feel of his body, though, knew the taste of it. Her heart tightened, and she ignored it.
He moved to her and sat beside her, his gaze roaming over her body, his eyes hungry. She wasn’t as embarrassed this time, f
or him to see her in the bikini. She didn’t even feel terribly self-conscious with her makeup washed off and her hair damp and curling thanks to her brief swim. She didn’t need the shield as much as she had before.
“We’re leaving tonight,” he said, his voice husky.
“I know.” She didn’t look at him.
“Do you still want to end things when we leave Thailand?”
“It’s for the best. We had a four-day fling, and it’s over now. When we get back to San Diego it will be business as usual. And that’s how it has to be, especially with everything going on concerning Maddy. I can’t afford to be distracted, and neither can you.”
“I do find you very distracting,” he said. He leaned over her, brushed her hair from her face. “You’re beautiful. I like the way you dress for work, but I like you like this, too. I especially like your freckles.” He ran his finger lightly along the trail of dots that were sprinkled across the bridge of her nose.
She felt her cheeks heat. “I’ve never liked them.”
“They’re a part of your beauty.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and continued on, moving his knuckles lightly over her cleavage, barely hidden by the skimpy bathing suit. Her nipples puckered against the damp fabric, the slight chill created by the breeze not to blame for her response.
When he reached behind her and undid the knot on the halter top of the bikini she clamped her hands to her chest. “What are you doing?”
“Lily, I want to see you.” His blue eyes were intense, compelling, his square jaw set.
She lowered her hands and let the fabric fall slightly, the lingering wetness keeping it from falling completely away.
“You don’t need anything to be beautiful, sweetheart. All you need is to be you. You’re the single most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”
His words were so sincere, and she felt them hit her straight in her heart, right at the source of the unbearable ache that had claimed her body for its own, reminding her that this was likely her last time with him.
The other times she’d been timid. She’d tried to hide behind darkness, behind her makeup, behind her business suits. But she wasn’t going to hide anymore. She didn’t need to. She was going to take this moment with Gage, this last moment, and she was going to simply feel all of the pleasure he could make her feel.
She pulled her top down the rest of the way and reached around behind herself, releasing the last knot holding the swimsuit on, the last thing keeping her from revealing her breasts.
Gage sucked in a sharp breath, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes hot on her, making her nipples ache for his touch. She hadn’t realized how she would feel. She’d thought she would be relinquishing power by being naked, being so vulnerable in front of him. But instead, she just felt an incredible rush of power. The same way she had felt when she’d first realized how much he really wanted her.
He flexed his hands, tightened them into fists, and she knew that it was taking all of his restraint not to touch her, not to rush her. She met his gaze, arousal streaking through her, the abject desire so obvious in Gage’s eyes, in every tense line of his magnificent body, making her bold.
She moved so that she was on her knees and pressed her palms on his chest, still slick with water, hot from the sun, his heartbeat raging against her hand. “Take those off,” she said, looking down at his shorts, at his erection, straining against the wet fabric.
He grinned at her, the wicked smile spreading slowly across his face as he moved his hands to the top of his shorts and pushed them down his spare hips, revealing his body fully to her for the first time.
She reached out and circled his shaft with her hand. “You’re beautiful,” she said.
“Now you,” he said roughly.
She abandoned her hold on his body, gripped the sides of her bikini bottoms and dragged them down her legs, leaving them in the sand, any embarrassment she might have felt earlier completely absent now. She was lost, in the moment, in her feelings. In Gage.
She stood and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him, leading the kiss for the first time, adrenaline and desire pumping through her. “You have a condom, right?” she asked, panting heavily when she abandoned his mouth.
He chuckled and bent down, retrieving his shorts and producing a thin, plastic packet. “I wasn’t a Boy Scout, but I take the motto very seriously.”
“I’m glad.”
He gave the condom packet to her and she tore it open without hesitation, hoping that the sense of confidence she was feeling would help where her inexperience might make things awkward. She was able to roll it onto his thick member without too much effort, the feeling of his hard flesh beneath her hand a thrill that she knew she could never tire of.
She kissed him, keeping her hand on his erection, squeezing him gently. He moaned into her mouth, his obvious appreciation more than enough to fuel the flame of her growing need.
“I want to be on top,” she said, unsure if she’d really spoken the words out loud. But this was Gage. She had always spoken her mind to him. Why not now? This was her last chance to have him, and she wanted to have him on her terms. She wanted to have the control.
Gage was afraid he might be in danger of a heart attack, top physical condition or not. Lily, his shy lover, wasn’t being shy now. He’d known she was beautiful, had admired what she’d allowed him to see of her body, and hadn’t pressed for more out of deference to her inexperience. But now, she was gloriously naked in front of him, in the bright Thai sunlight, her breasts round and full, the tips peaked and aroused, rosy like her lips. A temptation he could not, and did not want to, resist.
He cupped them, teased them, teased himself until she whimpered with pleasure. “I want that, too, Lily,” he said, his throat almost too tight for him to speak.
He gripped her around the waist and sat himself down on the sand, bringing her with him and settling her gently on top of him, her loose, wavy brown hair shielding them, creating a curtain around them.
He lifted his head and captured on of her perfect nipples between his lips and sucked gently. She gripped his shoulders and moved her hips, her feminine core sliding over his hard shaft. He cradled her hips and lifted her slightly, helping her find the right position. She sank down onto him gently, her head falling back and a moan of delight escaping her lips as he entered her fully.
It was a battle for him to stop himself from coming as soon as he was inside of her body. But the incredible feeling of being joined to her, combined with the full, unshielded vision of her gorgeous body, had him teetering on the brink.
His blood pounded through him, hard and hot, reckless. And when she began to move over him, setting a rhythm that was slow at first, then faster, more aggressive as she found exactly what pleased her, he could only hold tightly to her, using her hips to keep him anchored to the earth.
He felt her slick core tightening around him, felt the beginning of her orgasm. She bit her lip and tossed her head back again, fighting the release as she always did, before giving in and shuddering out her pleasure. As soon as she reached her peak, he gave himself permission to go over, giving in to his own release with a groan that he couldn’t suppress.
She lowered her body onto him, her head resting on his shoulder, her breasts pressed tightly against his chest, her breathing harsh, shaky. He smoothed her hair back and wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the moment. He had never felt anything like that before, not in all of his years of experience.
He had always enjoyed sex, but it had been strictly physical. When he was with Lily it was beyond that. It went to a place that he had never imagined possible. A place he had never imagined could be remotely desirable.
He felt a strange tightening in his chest. She hadn’t held back this time. She had been aggressive. She had given herself to him, not just her body, but something more. She had put serious insecurities to rest, and she had done it for him.
Part of him had wanted that, had resented that she’d withhe
ld from him.
Now, with the unwanted tenderness swelling inside of him, all he could do was be thankful that this was their last time together. He couldn’t afford for things to go further. For her to get in too deep with him. Because how could he ask all that he had from her, when he had nothing to offer in return?
It was impossible to sit next to Gage only hours after having him naked and beneath her and not have those images flash through her mind. He was back in his business suit, settled into his seat on the plane, his laptop open as he went over some of the specs for the hotel he was having built in England. Thoroughly in boss mode. And still she couldn’t do anything but relive those last, powerful moments when she’d shattered over him, when only his tight grip on her hips had kept her from flying into a million pieces.
She hadn’t cried that time. But everything in her had felt raw and exposed. She had felt so powerful at first, so amazed that she had been the one to make such a sexy man shake with need. But when her orgasm had crashed in on her she’d realized that if she had a hold on him, he had an equal hold on her. She’d thought she was in control, but it had been a false hope.
She’d also thought that a few days in Thailand would be enough to satisfy her curiosity, scratch her itch, or whatever she’d been imagining it to be. It was so much more complicated than that. She hated that it was, but the absolute truth was that she hadn’t remained detached, and she didn’t feel the same about him as she had when they’d first arrived in Thailand.
She didn’t know how she felt, and, honestly, she didn’t want to explore it. But she felt something.
“What are you working on?” she asked, feeling stupid and so much like the kind of silly female she’d always tried to avoid being. She knew what he was working on. It was a sad state of affairs when she was reduced to that kind of ridiculous behavior to make conversation.
“Just going over everything for the Hayden Hotel. Making sure everything I have in my database is the same as the report the contractor sent me.”