The Desire to Touch

by Taylor, N

  Come on woman just pick up the phone and book yourself into see the plastic surgeon Uncle Brendan found, it’s been long enough it’ll be safe now. I reach a hand for my phone but curl my fingers away – I close my eyes and think to myself ‘I’ll be fine, it’ll fade,’ I can happily never look there again.

  My phone starts ringing again snapping me out of my reverie, I close my robe and grab my phone to find its Meagan ringing. Meagan is my cousin, her father is my uncle, he and his wife Laurie are divorced, but Meagan seems to spend her life at the hotel with her dad. To be fair she’s been a great help settling me in and introducing me to people.

  I answer the phone, “Hey you, how’s things?”

  “Come to the pool?” She pleads.

  I laugh, “I’m fine thanks for asking” I close my eyes and try to think of an excuse, I really just want to curl up and sleep, “Oh not today I..”

  “No excuses, come to the pool please?” She can be extremely persuasive and whiny when she wants something.

  I huff and don’t say anything.

  “Look, just come down for a drink and sunbathe, go on, it’ll be fun!” I can hear her smile down the phone, I can even hear her pouting.

  “Ok,” I give in, “I’ll be down in 20 minutes, but no drinks, just save me a bed.”

  “Oh, I saved you one when I got here earlier.”

  “Figures, ok, 20 minutes.” I put the phone down and walk out of the bathroom into the bedroom.

  Throwing myself onto the bed I lay and stare at the ceiling, I can do this, a few hours socialising won’t hurt. I clamber off the bed and head for the dresser, rifling through my drawers I find a plum tankini with a blue Lily print and matching bikini shorts. I pull the tankini on making sure the scars are covered, I then put on some blue shorts and a black vest top. I glance in the mirror, and the bags underneath my hazel brown eyes, are going to be a dead giveaway of the hangover I am suffering from. Now, for the hair…I think I’ll pin back my fringe, don’t want no dodgy tan lines, and then put the rest in a high ponytail. I grab my brush and sort my blonde hair into something that looks like a style, I then pin my fringe back so it sweeps to the side.

  Grabbing the nearest bag I can find, I shove in my towel, phone, and any other crap I find loose that I may need. I slip on some white flip-flops and I’m good to go.

  As I leave the room I catch sight of my right wrist, I haven’t put a bangle on. I grab my black thick leather wristband with silver floral detail and strap it over my wrist, it has become a trademark joke between those who know me and I never go out without something covering it.

  Chapter Two

  I walk down to the pool and I can hear Meagan before I can see her, she’s my kind of girl, loud and outgoing like me - well like I used to be. She’s got legs that go all the way up, as my nan would say, with a perfectly toned top half to compliment. She is one of the annoying natural beauties even with her Barbie blonde hair, standing next to her she makes me feel like the stereotypical dowdy Brit.

  “Ellie!” Meagan screams so loud that everyone in the pool area turns to look at me, I can feel myself go a deep shade of crimson. “Over here, come on I’ve saved you a bed!”

  “Yep I’m coming,” I mutter under my breath lifting my hand to acknowledge her and shut her the hell up. I am now very conscious of a million pairs of eyes on me as I’m making my way over to her.

  Throwing my towel and bag on my specially reserved bed, Meagan’s attention has now turned to one of the waiters called Mal. Meagan is in her element flirting with him and I am not going to get her attention until he’s out of her eye line. Oh no, she’s pulling out all the stops. She’s twirling her loose tendrils of hair with her $100 a time manicured nails and touching his biceps through his shirt, bless - he does look tense. I think the fact that she is a stunner, and that her father is his boss is not a good mix, and he would, I assume, like to keep his job.

  Standing behind Meagan sorting my towel out on my bed I look up and suddenly catch Mal’s eye and in a split second he throws me a ‘Help me’ smile.

  Ok, my turn to be the knight and save the day, I could distract her – but how?! With no answer to my own question I suddenly shout, “Meagan?”

  “What?”

  “Oh,” I hold my hand to my chest to act like I was panicking over something, “I’m sorry I thought you had something on your back,” I grimace and say, “Must have been sun spots in my eye?”

  Within that second the poor boy is gone, Meagan turns to look at him, then back at me and her face is aghast.

  “What the hell Ellie I was just about to get his number!”

  “Yes, but I doubt your dad would approve?”

  “Well, better someone he can keep an eye on,” She throws me a wicked grin.

  “Anyway I’ll catch him later, look everyone’s here” She points to the pool and I see an array of faces, most are familiar, so I wave over at the ones I recognise.

  Meagan lies on her lounger and I know it’s time to lay myself very carefully on mine. It’s not easy trying to keep your boobs in the top half and making sure everything is tucked away in the bottom half, one slip and I could be winking at the poor couple across the pool. This happens one of two ways, I either carefully perch on the edge of the lounger then swing myself round and lay down ensuring I am tucked away at all times – this is mucho lady like. The other way is, count to three and launch onto the lounger, tummy down, with legs crossed at all times. Agreed it is less-lady like but it is the quicker method. Oh the choices!

  Looking around the poolside - it is heaving with people, and there is not a spare bed in sight, the bar stools are all used and even the little lawn area has towels laid on every available inch. Ok let’s go for the lady like approach. I sit myself ever so lady like on the edge and then realise I have left my bag in the sun and just out of reach so I am going to have to get up and move it. Standing up and moving towards it is too much effort, so I gently nudge it with my foot towards the head end in the shade. Right, getting back down I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend the time to sit again. I am going for the lunge and I’ll try to be gracious whilst I do it. ‘On three’ I say to myself, ‘Oh sod it’ I lunge on to my front, I hear a slight ripping noise but on a quick check over all seems to be ok in the bikini area.

  “You ok Ells?”

  “Hmmm?” I raise my head “Yeah, I’m good, just hung-over”

  “Ooh, what happened last night then?” she whispers, turning towards me on her lounger.

  I tell her all about last night with Lucas at the club, the drinking with the band and the after hours party back at his apartment. Meagan is curious to know all the in’s and out’s and then I explain how I woke this morning and pretty much offered a blowjob to a complete stranger.

  “You did what?” She screams in shock sitting up.

  “Shhhh, yes I know” I say in a hushed tone, burying my face in my towel.

  “And you just left this so called beauty standing there as you ran?”

  “Yep”

  “With your nose bleeding?” She exclaims her mouth wide open

  “Yep” I cry into my towel.

  “Wow and then he rescues you from the pervert Jerry and you still run without even so much as a name?”

  “Yes, yes and yes!” I cry lifting my head, my eyes plead with her to not make me relive the whole thing again.

  Meagan puts a finger to her chin and ponders, “Right then, I know what you need,” She leans over grabs my wrists and drags me to my feet “Come on, game of pool volleyball and it’s not a request” she laughs.

  “Ok,” I wince, snatching my wrists back from her grip.

  Secretly I am pleased for the distraction and hopefully this will shift my hangover, not that I would normally shy away from sports but I have a tendency to make a fool of myself when there is an audience.

  I walk over to the steps and gingerly descend into the pool. I am trying to stay as ladylike and demure as possible, whereas Meagan runs and j
umps into the pool causing a splash, making all the girls in the pool scream.

  The game is going well and we are all having a laugh, some lads that had been spectating poolside decided to jump in and join us and now the whole pool is one big volleyball game.

  It’s my turn to serve and I hate serving, there’s so much pressure not to stuff up. I raise the ball in my left hand and thrust it up into the air, I jump up with all my might to hit the ball but there’s a sudden snap from behind my neck. Like two socks full of coins my breasts have come bouncing out of my tankini top and I am still midflight for my serve!

  “Ellie!” Meagan screams in laughter from across the pool.

  I can’t hide my embarrassment, what the hell do I do? I know all eyes are on me and I can hear the whistles and men shouting comments at me.

  ‘See the funny side’ my angelic side whispers at me but my devilish side is hanging her head in shame shaking it from left to right.

  I am struggling to laugh at myself, I start the incantation, ‘Don’t cry - laugh…don’t cry – laugh.’

  I sink myself way under the water so that only my nose and above it is in the air. If I were to go any redder I would boil the water away, as it is I bet I stick out like a beacon of embarrassment. One of the lads that joined the game not so long ago is swimming over to me, ‘Oh please go away’ I think to myself. He settles down into the water next to me and has a creepy, sly, smile on his tanned face. I don’t understand why people swim with sunglasses on and, more to the point, I can’t tell if he’s looking into my eyes or trying to see if my hooters are bobbing freely under the waterline.

  “Can I offer you a hand?” he asks quietly.

  Instantly my hackles go up, I bet behind those Jet-black Aviators his eyes are laughing so hard they’re struggling to stay in their sockets.

  I knew this was going to happen, I bloody knew it! Where there’s an audience I’m going to make a prat out of myself! I said “could this day get any worse?” and I think it may have just reached the pinnacle.

  I try to rid myself of the flush of fury and embarrassment but I’m failing, I turn to him and give a very forced smile and the least amount of sarcasm I can muster to say,

  “No! I’m fine thanks” I am so ashamed. “Tell you what, you can take my serve though” and I push the ball towards him.

  “Not a problem.” He flashes his over-white teeth at me and swims off to take my serve.

  I stuff my breasts back into my tankini and reach around for the strap that has snapped, I can only assume that the launch for the lounger weakened the strap somehow. Anyway, I can see a bit of strap left on the top that I can tie the remaining strap to, maybe I can try and leave the pool with some dignity. So with shaking hands I fumble to tie the strap back up, I have had enough now. I feel that the ‘tanners’ in this little section of New York have seen enough of my body, cringe.

  Taking a deep breath I swim to the steps to climb out, my devilish side is shaking her head at me with her eyes screwed tightly shut and tapping her foot, ‘No need to reflect how I already feel’ I think to myself.

  I reach the steps and take a final dunk just to refresh myself and wash away any remaining signs of a flush. I start to climb out and with a reassuring glance that my breasts are still securely away I sigh a heave of relief. Standing on the top step I wipe my eyes and turn to head for my bed when SHIT! No way, oh please, please tell me I’m having a nightmare – I really would cry if this wasn’t so desperately funny from the outside.

  There he is sitting on the bar stool looking straight at me cool as cucumber. Trey, knight in shining bloody armor.

  ‘Ground swallow me up now. Please?’

  He’s looking at me with an ear-to-ear grin, is he pleased to see me? oh God no, it’s because he’s seen too much of me. ‘Right, don’t stare at him for too long it’ll just make the situation worse, think fast Ellie, come on. All I can do is flash a smile at him, then scurry over to my bed, I can feel his gaze burning into my back as I am walking. Fuck the lady-like way, I am going for the lunge again, I just want to bury my face until everyone has gone and I can leave here head held high. I throw myself onto my bed and reach for my sunglasses.

  I scream with embarrassment into my towel, I really am the biggest plank going!

  I wonder if he’s still looking, I certainly feel like I’m under some intense gaze. ‘Ok, let’s don the sunglasses and turn over and check to see, ‘because I do not believe he is still looking this way.’

  ‘Right, turn yourself over and tan woman, come on get a good look at him.’ Following my own advice I turn over and don my new Ray Bans, I release my hair from its ponytail and run my fingers through it to give it some life.

  I don’t look at him straight away, I start by looking over at the continuing volley game then I give Meagan a wave and continue to scan the rest of the pool area.

  Right, there he is with his mates - they all seem to be reliving some fond memory -having a laugh, every now and then he tends to look over in my direction. Surely he isn’t looking at me, I guess there must be some Tahitian beauty standing behind me. Waiting till his look has passed I take a quick glance over my shoulder and no - there is no one there. ‘He must be looking at you’ my devilish side whispers in my ear but my angel starts to drone on ‘Don’t get a big head, there’s some explanation I’m sure’.

  Trey’s body is so toned, every muscle and ripple in his body is so magnificently defined, two amazing pec’s that look like pillows of steel and a gorgeous golden glow to his skin that compliments his mousey blonde hair. I’m starting to feel a flush of heat sweep over my body and all the muscles deep down clench and tighten. I bite my lip to try and calm myself but I can still feel the charge that he sent through me earlier when he touched my hand. My heart starts to pound and my breathing is picking up, almost becoming uncontrollable so I bite my lip a bit harder to bring myself back down to earth.

  My phone starts to ring and I reach for my bag and rummage for my phone, “Lucas?”

  “Hey English, I did some asking and it turns out that some hotshot Hollywood star stayed overnight in the apartments.”

  I’m stunned: “Well I don’t think he was a Hollywood star by any stretch of the imagination.” I let out a little giggle and continue, “Anyway, who did you get that from?”

  Silence.

  “Lucas?”

  “Well, I am pretty sure, my source is reliable,” he snaps back

  I start to laugh uncontrollably, “That means you got it from Jerry.”

  “Shut it, you!” he laughs

  “Jerry is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot!”

  “Whatever! You’re boring me now - so see you tomorrow, I’ll come to you for about midday?”

  “Yep, sounds good,” that cheers me up a bit, I like spending days with Lucas, we always have a laugh.

  With that, he hangs up and I put my phone back in my bag.

  Well, that brought me right back to earth with a bump.

  The next few hours seem to go quite quickly and I happily lay on my lounger trying to tan and bring out some inner beauty that may be hidden deep within.

  Occasionally Meagan and Lacey join me and we have a natter, but most of the time I seem to doze and sleep off the hangover.

  I awake with a start and realise it’s getting late, I grab my phone from my bag and see I’ve been asleep for at least an hour, oh crap I’ve been asleep on my back – god only knows if I was snoring, dribbling or talking. Again, I’m just the picture perfect female any man wants, yeah right.

  I sit up trying to catch Meagan’s attention but she is oblivious, looking over to where Trey and his friends are, they still seem to be having a good laugh and a good drink. My devil starts to whisper ‘If he was interested he would have been over by now’ I shake her away as quick as I can.

  I take one last look in his direction and he appears to be waving at me.

  ‘Oh wow, ok shall I wave back? Come on, you can do this just wave back.’ I lift my
arm and wave back, he waves again, I respond again and he waves once more. This is weird, I look over my shoulder and there she is Miss World and she is waving back to him signaling two minutes. She glances down at me and gives me a look of disgust that has shrunk me to about two inches tall.

  I snap my head back round, trying to steady my growing embarrassment and put my head in my hands.

  Well that’s just brilliant I am officially the biggest dick going! ‘Wrap me up and tattoo ‘twat’ on my forehead. Geez, Ellie!’

  Thankfully Meagan comes running over and distracts me from my near suicidal thoughts.

  I watch as Trey walks off and Meagan is at my side squealing, “Ellie! Oh wow, Ellie!”

  She looks like she’s seen a ghost and I sit up concerned, “What? What’s the matter?” I look her up and down to see if there are any obvious signs of injury.

  “Do you know,” she gasps for air, “Do you know who that was?”

  “Who?” Now I’m in shock and I scan the poolside.

  “That man you were waving to!”

  “Oh yeah, that’s Trey my knight in shining armor.” I roll my eyes.

  “Yes Ellie,” she huffs, “Trey Thomas!”

  I look at her blankly but fear I should know the name; or perhaps he’s someone she has encountered before, my heart sinks.

  “Come on, Trey Thomas!” She gestures her hands after him.

  I shake my head.

  “Jesus Ellie, he’s only the biggest A-list celebrity around!” She can’t hide the look of disdain on her face or in her voice.

  I still stare blankly back at her and now I’m scared of the repercussions.

  “Do you watch any movies?” she huffs.

  “Erm, I watch my fair share.” I lie.

  “For God’s sake Ellie, erm..” she taps her head thinking.