The Day I Stopped Falling for Jerks

by Monroe, Max

  I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that at all.”

  “So, we’re good?”

  “We’re good.” I grinned. “Now, leave me alone so I can head toward my fate of misery and deadlines for the next twenty-four hours.”

  He chuckled at that. “See ya around, Lucky.”

  I turned on my heel, offered a small wave over my shoulder, and headed toward the hotel terrace doors.

  But just before I walked away from Jordy, I didn’t miss Ollie, standing off in the distance, his gaze locked on both Jordy and me.

  I offered up a silent prayer that he couldn’t actually hear our conversation or else he might get the impression I was some floozy who just went around kissing everyone.

  [laughs]

  I mean, to an outsider looking in, it very well could have seemed that way, you know?

  But in my defense, Jordy had kissed me.

  So, I was like fifty-fifty when it came to initiating kisses.

  Those weren’t bad odds, right?

  [laughs again]

  Even though my mind raced like it was striving for a flipping NASCAR trophy, I didn’t have time to get lost in my thoughts again. I had so much work to do, and the one-hour break I’d been willing to take had turned into a three-hour kayak adventure with Ollie.

  First, work, I told myself. Then, you can overthink all of your questionable life decisions.

  By the time I reached the fifth floor and opened my hotel room door, I was ready to get back to it.

  Ready to go down Ex-Boyfriend Memory Lane.

  Next up, the current convict from Jersey. Otherwise known as the tattoo artist who’d found himself a little too deep into the criminal underbelly of his motorcycle gang.

  Our relationship had been a bit toxic from the start, but the real nail in our love coffin had been the lies that had fallen from his lips.

  Lie after lie after lie, he’d never been honest with me.

  Not about himself. Not about his lifestyle. And sure as hell not about his penchant for money laundering.

  When I’d found out about what he’d done, I’d been devastated.

  I’d questioned everything about the relationship.

  I’d questioned him.

  I’d even questioned myself.

  But after it was all said and done, I’d learned that in order for a relationship to work, there has to be honesty and trust.

  Without those two things, things like true intimacy can’t exist.

  My mind was straight, my thoughts were focused, and without even taking off my suit, I grabbed my laptop, made my way out onto the balcony and got to work.

  Hello, Ronnie Matthews. It’s been a while…

  I stayed fixated on him, on our relationship, for a good two hours, but when I’d finished his letter, where did my mind go?

  [sighs]

  That’s right, wonderful listeners.

  It went straight back to Ollie.

  To the one man I couldn’t stop thinking about…

  * * *

  Episode 11: “He was thinking about me…too…”

  June had arrived like a summer thunderstorm and exited just as quickly.

  When the calendar had flipped to July 1st, another surfing event had been completed.

  Another destination checked off my life’s travels map

  And another flight boarded for a new tropical location.

  Besides the four days I’d spent on the beach watching the surfing competition and interviewing the competitors, I’d spent most of my time inside my hotel room fighting the old deadline fight.

  But thankfully, there’d been a few glorious moments that had allowed me to enjoy Eastern Cape’s splendor. The country, the city, the picturesque coastline that deserved to be painted and photographed and adored by the world, it had taken me by surprise.

  Its beauty would always hold a special place in my wanderlust heart.

  And thanks to Ollie, I’d learned how to swim there.

  I’d also learned just how glorious it was to dive into a sea with waters so deep my feet couldn’t touch the ground.

  I’d experienced memories in South Africa that would last me a lifetime.

  I also experienced a kiss I couldn’t seem to forget…

  “Can I get you anything before we take off?” the flight attendant asked, and I shook my head.

  “No thank you.”

  She offered a friendly smile and went about her way, greeting passengers as they boarded the plane and asking the ones who were already seated if they needed any assistance.

  One-by-one, the rest of the first-class seats started to fill, and I couldn’t stop myself from staring down the aisle and toward the cockpit door in the hope that I’d spot a familiar pair of brown eyes.

  [sighs]

  Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

  I’d replayed our kiss in my mind a thousand times, and with the way my mind was so fixated on him, so drawn to him, it was safe to say another thousand replays were in my future…

  But instead of brown eyes, I’d spotted blue, and a soft, adorable smile matched their jovial light.

  “Unlucky Lucky,” Jordy greeted as he made his way down the aisle. “Fancy seeing you here.”

  I swallowed down my disappointment and grinned. “Pretty sure we’re heading the same place.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Unless you’ve changed careers overnight, I’m pretty sure it’s a certainty.”

  “No career change.” He winked and shrugged his backpack off his shoulders and pushed it into the overhead bin. “You ready for Tahiti?”

  “The flight to Tahiti?” I shook my head. “Not so much. But the destination itself? Well, it’s been on my bucket list for a while now.”

  “You’re going to love it,” he said just before sitting down two rows in front of mine.

  I was certain he was right about that.

  And I briefly even found myself lost in the visuals my mind had already conjured of Tahiti.

  But eventually, it drifted back to him.

  Back to Ollie.

  And I couldn’t shake the confusion of why I’d yet to see him board the plane.

  Once I noted that coach passengers were well into the boarding process, I started to feel antsy.

  Had he missed the flight?

  Had he overslept?

  Was he okay?

  And before I knew it, I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and sent him a quick message. Where are you?

  He responded a mere thirty seconds later. I’m eating breakfast.

  In the airport? I asked.

  And he answered with, No, why would I be in the airport?

  Our messages went back and forth. Me, questioning his sanity. And him, basically teasing me with knowledge I wasn’t privy to.

  When I’d asked him if he was drunk and why he wasn’t on the flight, he finally gave in and let me know he’d had to switch his flight to accommodate a few business meetings.

  That definitely made a lot more sense and was a far better reality than the worst-case scenarios I’d conjured in my head.

  Ollie, of course, didn’t miss a beat…

  That’s sweet that you were thinking about me, little fire.

  I tried to deny it. Even blatantly told him I wasn’t thinking about him, but the man didn’t drop the fact that I’d texted him.

  But you sent me a text message asking me where I was. So, obviously, you had to think about me before you sent the text message, yeah?

  I refused to take the bait. So, instead, I offered a little white lie and told him the plane was about to take off.

  Have a safe flight, Lucky, he responded and then followed it up with, Oh and, Lucky?

  Don’t ask me why I responded, but I did.

  I couldn’t help myself.

  I needed to know what he wanted to say.

  Yeah? I asked.

  I’ve been thinking about you too.

  My heart flip-flopped around like it was on a trampoli
ne inside my chest.

  Ollie was thinking about me?

  Jesus Christ, I probably shouldn’t have been that excited about it, but I was.

  When my phone pinged again with a message, I couldn’t stop myself from checking the screen.

  It was him again. Only three words, but they sure as hell packed a punch.

  Especially that kiss.

  [sighs]

  I blushed. From head to fucking toe.

  And then I told him to stop texting me.

  Of course, the smartass responded with Stop reading them, then.

  And his last message before I shut my phone off for good? See you in Tahiti, little fire.

  See you in Tahiti. It was as simple and complicated as that.

  [audible pause]

  I had no idea what any of it meant.

  Or what in the hell was happening, for that matter. But as I sat in my seat, staring out the window and watching the plane pick up speed down the runway, butterflies floated around inside my belly.

  They had nothing to do with takeoff, though.

  No. There was only one reason for the excitement and nerves and a thousand other emotions prickling at my senses.

  It started with the letter O, ended with the letter e, and had been a constant thought inside my head since I’d first laid eyes on him inside an airport in Australia…

  * * *

  Episode 12: “So, uh, you slept here? All night?”

  My sister Hazel also has a podcast, you guys.

  But you just need the password to my voice mail to hear it.

  [laughs]

  By the time July 4th rolled around, I was immersed in everything that was Tahiti and quickly realizing I was having a hell of time managing work and surfing events while keeping in touch with my family.

  But don’t worry, Hazel let me hear about it via voice mail.

  The first one? Short and sweet and basically said, Hey, just checking in to make sure everything is going okay.

  She must’ve left that one the day prior, when I’d been exploring the island with Jordy. Somehow, I’d let him talk me into taking a five-mile walk up a mountain to see a freaking waterfall.

  The view was magic, but holy moly, I wasn’t used to that kind of cardio. Every muscle in my body had creaked and screamed its discomfort when I’d forced myself out of bed the next morning.

  And the next voice mail from Hazel? Well, it’s so long that I’m actually going to play it right now, just so you can hear it…

  “So, it’s me again. I’m guessing you made it safely to Tahiti and all is well. The only way I know you’re still alive is by your damn social media posts on Scoop’s Instagram, and the fact that you’ve apparently gone viral by writing letters to all of your terrible ex-boyfriends. Though, by the way, I’m loving the letters. They’re fantastic, and I’m hoping all this self-reflection will equate to you dating guys who are worthy of your time. Also, when you’re finally back in New York, I have someone I want you to meet. His name is Justin, and he works with Steve at the firehouse. He’s handsome. Super sweet. Has a stable job. And is single.”

  [pauses the voice mail]

  Of course my sister wanted to set me up with a man who was most likely the spitting image of her husband, aka my brother-in-law. She meant well, but she didn’t quite realize that just because a guy like Steve was her perfect match, it didn’t mean he was my perfect match.

  Okay, back to Hazel’s podcast…

  “Anyway, I’m not loving the fact that I haven’t heard from you in five days. Five days, Lucky. What gives? I’m literally going crazy over here wondering if my baby sister is okay. I mean, thank God I can at least check Scoop’s website and social media for signs of life, but seriously, you need to call me before I do something crazy like get on a plane and come find you. Call me back, okay? Love you even though you’re being a terrible sister right now. Bye.”

  When it came to the flight threat, she was so full of boloney she could’ve added cheese and mayo and made herself a fucking sandwich.

  She’d had a damn panic attack a few years back when she and Steve drove to Canada for one of their friend’s destination weddings.

  [laughs]

  Seriously, you would have thought they were taking a thirty-hour flight to China instead of a five-hour drive to Niagara Falls.

  Anyway, I knew she was fired up.

  And no way in hell was I going to subject myself to a three-hour phone call with Hazel bitching in my ear for ninety percent of the time.

  So, I did the next-best option. A group family message. Hey, guys. Sorry I’ve been a little MIA. I’ve been swamped with work and deadlines. All is well. I’m currently safe and sound in Tahiti. Miss and love you guys!!

  I added Hazel, Willow, and my dad to the chat and hit send.

  Of course, my phone pinged with a response not even thirty seconds later.

  And, yeah, you guessed it, Hazel was the first to chime in with a short, slightly passive-aggressive message of About damn time.

  I wasn’t surprised, though.

  And thankfully, Willow and my dad joined in on the fun a few minutes later.

  Their messages were a completely different animal.

  My dad simply responded with Glad to hear, Lucky Charm. Love and miss you too.

  And Willow basically just told me she loved me and to send her pictures of the beautiful Tahitian scenery.

  I took a quick photo from my balcony, a gorgeous view of the ocean and sand and sun bouncing off the water, and added it to our conversation.

  Beautiful! My dad exclaimed, and then quickly departed from our conversation with a final message of I gotta run, girls. My waiting room is bustling and barking as we speak. Be safe, Lucky Charm. And have fun!

  Willow also appreciated the view and sent a heart eyes emoji to show it.

  But, Hazel? Well, she was still a bit pissed off…

  Definitely gorgeous, but don’t think you’ve avoided having to call me back.

  She could be such a ballbuster sometimes.

  I simply told her I was swamped with work but I’d call soon, and I ended the chat before she decided to send me her frustration via words.

  But just before I could click out of my message inbox and start sorting through my work emails, a new text notification from Ollie lit up my screen.

  Meet me on the beach in fifteen minutes.

  I hadn’t seen him since that day we’d gone kayaking—and I’d accidentally kissed him—and my heart did a little dance inside my chest when I saw his name.

  [sighs]

  Stupid heart.

  But all that excitement quickly turned into annoyance when I registered his demand.

  Meet him on the beach? Right now? I hadn’t even finished my first cup of coffee for the day. I promptly told him he was crazy and that I needed to wake up before I could even think about stepping out onto the beach.

  But the man wasn’t having any of it.

  You gotta hit the beach early to get the best waves.

  Best waves? I didn’t need waves…

  Yeah, you do, he said. Today is your first surfing lesson.

  Surfing lesson?

  Obviously, the man had lost his damn mind.

  And I didn’t hold back from telling him that very fact. You’re nuts, sir. I can barely swim.

  Sir? I could get used to that, little fire…

  Cheeky bastard, huh?

  I rolled my eyes. And then I called him a lunatic and told him I wasn’t surfing.

  He was as persistent as ever, and when I asked him if he was going to give up anytime soon, he responded with a lengthy text.

  Nope. I reckon we can continue this back-and-forth chatter for another ten minutes or so, but I suggest you go put on your suit, slather that delicate skin of yours with a whole bottle of sunscreen, and meet me outside. I’ll be the handsome bloke with the pink board in his hands.

  He had a pink surfboard?

  I couldn’t deny I was intrigued by the idea of it
.

  But when I questioned it, he hit me with a real confusing doozy of a response.

  No, YOU have a pink surfboard. For today. But if you love it, I’ll make sure it stays yours permanently. Time’s a ticking, Lucky. Get dressed, and I’ll see you outside, yeah?

  My mind was officially blown right out of the water.

  But, technically speaking, besides my morning coffee, I didn’t have any plans for the day.

  I’d already finished all of my urgent work tasks, and considering it was the Fourth of July in the States and Scoop’s offices were closed for the holiday, I really didn’t need to respond to emails until tomorrow morning…

  The carrot o’fun dangled in front of my eyes, and before I could stop myself, I agreed. Fine. Give me 30 minutes.

  [sighs]

  Apparently, when it came to Oliver Arsen, I had a hell of a time saying no.

  The reason? Even if I wasn’t admitting it to myself then, I can admit it to you guys now…

  I was really starting to like him. A lot, in fact.

  Which probably explains why I did meet him down on the beach thirty or so minutes later, and proceeded to subject myself to his surfing instructor ways…