by Monroe, Max
“I can’t believe my baby sis is going to have a baby.”
“She’s going to be an amazing mom.”
“That she will be.” His responding smile was glorious, filled with love and adoration and nothing but happiness for Allie. “Luckiest little boy on the planet.”
“Boy?” I asked and shook my head. “No way, she’s definitely having a little girl.”
Ollie smirked. “Sorry to break it to you, but Arsen woman have historically had a majority of strappingly handsome boys.”
“First of all, she had Allie. Producing a girl has been proven possible,” I retorted. “And secondly, I think your mom gave you too many compliments as a child.”
He chuckled at that. “Some days, yes. But other days when I was a wild teen constantly stirring up trouble? She was a bloody hard-ass. The woman didn’t miss a beat.”
“She sounds pretty amazing.”
“That she is,” he agreed, and his expression turned soft. “What was your mother like?”
His question caught me off guard, but it also warmed my heart. It felt like it’d been so long since I’d been able to talk about my mother to someone else. Since I’d been able to share all the things I loved about her.
“She was perfect,” I said. “Kind, caring, and everything you’d want your mother to be.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Every day.” I nodded. “I guess I miss her most when I’m doing things that we used to do together. Like shopping for vintage designer shoes and clothes or finding new coffee shops in the city.”
Ollie didn’t respond. Instead, he just sat there quietly and listened to everything I said.
“Some days, I’m just desperate to pick up the phone and hear her voice,” I said quietly and looked out toward the water for a long moment. “But I can’t do that. All I can do is savor the memories I have of her.”
“Obviously, I didn’t know your mum, but I’m certain she’d be proud of you. Not only for all of the things that you’ve accomplished in your career, but also, just who you are as a person.”
I met his warm gaze. “You think so?”
He nodded. “I know so.”
[sighs and pauses]
I don’t know, guys…
When I look back on that dinner, on that night, I know something changed inside of me.
As I sat there across from Ollie, staring into the eyes of a man who kept throwing me off guard with each facet of his personality he revealed to me, I knew, even if I could have been anywhere in the world right then, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
I would’ve still chosen there. With Ollie.
Hell, I’d probably still choose it.
[another sigh]
The rest of the dinner continued in the same manner.
Good food and fantastic conversation with a man I couldn’t ever seem to get enough of.
We talked about anything and everything.
More about our families.
More about my mom.
More about surfing and journalism.
We talked about our likes and dislikes and what our everyday lives were like.
And by the time we’d left the restaurant and headed back for the hotel, it was nearing midnight and the long work hours were starting to catch up with me.
A yawn escaped my lips as we stood side by side in the elevator.
Ollie smirked. “Tired?”
“It’s been a long few days.” I yawned again and then giggled. “I’m not looking forward to the eight-a.m. flight to California tomorrow.”
He chuckled softly. “Me either.”
“You’re flying out tomorrow too?”
“Yep,” he said as the elevator doors opened to my floor. “We’re on the same flight.”
My heart perked up at those words.
We walked toward my hotel room, and when I reached room 803, I stopped just outside the door.
“Well, thanks for dinner,” I said quietly and had to stare down at my gold stilettos for a brief moment to swallow back the nerves that had drifted up from my belly into my throat.
I had no idea why I was nervous, but fuck, I was nervous.
Hesitantly, I lifted my gaze to meet his, and a slow smile spread across his full lips.
“You okay, little fire?” he asked and I nodded, but when I realized I’d reached nod number six, I abruptly stopped my head’s momentum.
God, I was being so weird.
“Of course,” I said. “Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“You look a little flushed,” he said and lifted his fingers to brush gently across my cheek. “Right here.”
If anything, it made me blush harder.
“I guess I’m a little warm.”
I wasn’t warm, though. I was nervous and thinking about the fact that our dinner was the best date I’d ever had in my whole life, yet I didn’t even know if it was actually a date.
I was thinking about him.
And his eyes.
And his smile.
And those fucking pillow lips of his.
He grinned at my words, and I felt like his brown eyes saw too damn much.
I had to avert my own eyes just to gain some semblance of relief.
“You know,” he started, and I lifted my gaze to his again. “I think I’m about to accidentally kiss you.”
“Huh?” I asked, and my heart started to pound like a kick drum inside my chest.
He was going to kiss me?
Good God, I wanted him to kiss me…
“Yeah, I think that’s exactly what’s about to happen.” He stepped closer and cupped my face with his strong hands. “I’m sure you can understand,” he whispered against my lips as he moved his mouth sheer inches from mine. “Sometimes, accidents just happen, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I whispered back and let myself get lost in the depths of his brown eyes. “Sometimes they do.”
I didn’t even know what I was saying, but every cell inside my body was all but shouting for him to press his mouth to mine.
Ollie’s gaze flitted between my eyes and my parted mouth, and with the slightest hint of a smile cresting his lips, he leaned forward and gently kissed me.
Our kiss started out slow, a tender, hesitant exploration of one other.
But then it grew deeper, and a tiny moan escaped my throat when his tongue slipped past my teeth and danced with mine.
I’d only kissed him twice, but good God, was I a fan.
Those perfect pillow lips of his knew exactly how to move and how to encourage me further. Those lips were the bait and I was the fish, and it didn’t take long until I was hooked.
He pushed his hand into my hair, and he massaged my scalp with his fingers as he continued to explore my mouth.
[sighs dreamily]
Fuck, it felt good, you guys.
I felt that kiss to my damn toes.
And my mind? Well, it started to fantasize about pulling him into my hotel room and doing all sorts of dirty things that would definitely not have occurred by accident.
But eventually, Ollie slowly ended the kiss. He pressed one long, soft embrace to my lips leaving a tingling sensation that lingered long after he’d stepped back and disconnected our mouths.
“There’s something to be said for accidental kisses.”
I was too damn dazed to respond, so I just nodded.
“I’ll see you in the morning?” he asked, and I nodded again.
Apparently, nods were my new form of communication.
“Six sound good to you?”
“Six?” I asked. “What’s happening at six?”
“I’ll come to your room and help you with your bags.”
Wait…what?
He was coming to my room to help me with my bags in the morning?
Who was this guy, and what did he do with the annoying man I’d met at the Sydney airport?
Your guess is as good as mine…
“Oh and, Lucky?”
“Yea
h?”
“My vote is that this was a date.” He smiled and then leaned forward to press a soft kiss to my cheek. “Good night, little fire.”
[sighs]
It was a date.
And it was the best date I’d ever been on.
After we said good night.
After I most likely stared at his retreating back in the hallway for thirty seconds too long.
And after I finally made my way into my hotel room.
I knew staying away from Ollie probably wasn’t an option.
But ever getting enough of him?
Now that was something I wasn’t sure was possible.
* * *
Episode 15: “I wanted to experience a million more of those kinds of accidents.”
I’d woken up early that morning. At five a.m., to be exact.
But my normal aversion to before-sunrise wake-up calls was far overshadowed by the excitement I’d felt.
The Silver Surfer Pro was the next stop on my itinerary, and I was excited about it for three different reasons.
One: With a location inside the United States for a change, I would be able to stop home in New York for a few weeks and see my family, rub Allie’s ever-growing pregnant belly, and sleep in my own bed.
Two: This event was combined with the women’s event. And I was pumped to see what the girls of the surfing world could do.
And three: I didn’t really want to admit it to myself then, but the fact remained, the third and most important reason had everything to do with Ollie. He would be there.
[sighs]
It was crazy.
How he’d gotten under my skin in such a short amount of time.
How the one man I’d told myself I wouldn’t fall for, was the main reason I’d been giddy and bouncing around my hotel room as I packed up my suitcase in preparation for my flight to Huntington Beach, California.
Just bonkers.
But he was in my head and in my heart, and I couldn’t stop thinking about our kiss the night before.
Or our date.
Or all of the intense ways he made me feel.
Yeah, I was caught—hook, line, and sinker.
[pauses]
So, the morning had gone smoothly, and I’d somehow managed to repack all three of my suitcases without having to sit on them to stuff everything in.
I know you guys are aware of this, but it needs to be reiterated, I am the world’s worst packer.
“Bare necessities” isn’t in my vocabulary.
Hell, I used to watch YouTube videos where girls filmed themselves packing for long trips, showing you their tricks and how they managed to travel on seven-day vacations to Paris with a carry-on, and not once did I ever gain knowledge that I used.
And seriously, those girls are crazy. I admire them, but they’re nuts.
I would feel like I was in one of those dreams where you’re walking around naked and can’t understand why everyone is staring at you if I left the house with just a carry-on and my purse.
[takes audible sip of coffee]
Anyway, by the time Ollie and I made our way to the airport, through security, and boarded our plane that morning, I could feel myself gravitating toward him.
My eyes always seemed to meet his.
Any conversation I had was directed toward him.
And my thoughts, well, he played a starring role.
He helped me with my carry-on, shoving it into one of the overhead bins above my seat in 3A, and once my seatmate, a fortysomething woman with a power suit and a laptop, moved to sit down beside me, he somehow convinced her that his window seat in 5F had a far better view than hers.
A few minutes later, he was beside me.
Me in 3A and him in 3B and my heart trying to escape my body and make its own seat between us.
God, there was just something about him.
The easy, confident manner in which he carried himself.
The way his brown eyes always had a hint of playfulness, even when he was telling me about an investors’ meeting he’d had in Tahiti that revolved around a new, cutting-edge surfboard line his company would be launching early next year.
The way I sat mesmerized at the way his full lips moved with each of his words.
[deep sigh]
Looking back, I think I was doomed from the start when it came to Oliver Arsen.
And still, to this day, I wonder if I ever really stood a chance to resist him.
I guess I’ll let you all be the judge of that, though…
[quiet pause]
Anyway, the flight started off like any other flight.
The captain greeted us over the intercom.
The flight attendants performed their safety spiel and prepared us for takeoff.
And I tried to focus my energy on the edits Vanessa had sent back for my next three articles—two Dear Ex-Boyfriend letters and the second article for the surfing series. Which, mind you, was one hundred percent about Ollie and how he taught me how to swim.
Though, my tablet bored me.
The articles bored me.
But the man sitting beside me? He might as well have been the most interesting thing I’d ever seen.
Obviously, I was hopeless.
“You’re excited, aren’t you?” he asked knowingly, and I looked up from my tablet to meet his eyes.
“What makes you say that?”
“Because you’ve been all but jumping out of your seat since we boarded this flight. If your knees bounce any harder, I fear you might rocket yourself out of the plane.”
I laughed at that and put my tablet away as I did.
Apparently, not even work could distract me from him.
Not even an article about him could distract me from him.
I shrugged. “Okay, fine. I guess I’m a little excited.”
Ollie’s lips hooked up into a smile, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how good they’d felt last night when he’d accidentally kissed me.
Which hadn’t been an accident.
It’d been one hundred percent intentional.
But no matter the reason, it’d made my head spin and my damn toes curl and my body crave more than just his kiss.
“And what has you so excited?” he asked, and I nearly blurted out you, but thankfully, I swallowed that word down before it could escape my mouth.
“Being in California means I’m only a few short weeks away from making a pit stop in New York and seeing my family. Also, I’ll get to rub Allie’s little preggo belly.”
He winked and patted my thigh with his big hand. “All good things.”
“Most certainly.”
Ollie was turning out to be quite the good thing.
Once our plane had reached cruising altitude, the seat belt light dinged off and the flight attendants started to make their way down the aisles, offering passengers snacks and beverages.
The early morning had caught up with me by then, and after three successive yawns left my mouth, I felt my eyelids start to droop.
“Tired?” Ollie asked and I nodded.
“Five a.m. is a little too early for my blood.”
He grinned. “Need a pillow?”
I quirked a brow. “A pillow?”
“Yeah,” he said and wrapped a strong arm around my back. “I’ll be more than happy to oblige.” He nodded toward his shoulder that was closest to me. “Pretty sure this came in handy the last time we flew together.”
I rolled my eyes. “That was an accident.”
“Well, we both know accidents happen sometimes,” he said with a secret little smile. “And sometimes, they even happen twice.”
I blushed at his insinuation and silently hoped I’d experience a million more of those kinds of accidents.
But I also gave in, resting my head on his shoulder and cuddling my body in closer to his.
He was warm and strong, and I simply felt safe within the cocoon he’d provided.
It didn’t take long for my eyes to fall closed
and my breaths to turn soft and the sweet sensation of sleep to overcome me.
I had no idea how long I stayed like that, sleeping on Ollie’s shoulder, but when I woke up, I was still there, nestled perfectly against him.
I glanced up to find his head rested against his seat and his eyes closed shut.
And when I looked down, I saw our hands together, fingers intertwined and resting comfortably on the top of his thigh.
I didn’t pull away, and I didn’t budge an inch.
I couldn’t.
My body outright refused to break the quiet moment.
We’d kissed twice, yet still, this form of touching felt more intimate than those two combined.
I felt oddly safe beside him, enveloped within his strength.
I probably should’ve realized I was only getting more and more attached to him.
My heart was getting more attached to him.
But I just stayed there, cuddled against him and holding his hand.
[quiet pause]
Well, guys, I’d like to tell you it gets easier from here, but it doesn’t.
It only gets more complicated.
* * *
Episode 16: “I should’ve called this podcast, The Day I Didn’t Stop Falling for Jerks.”
Every story has a turning point.
A moment that changes things.
Sometimes, it can be small. A moment in time where understanding sets in and maybe you realize something simple like the next big goal you want to achieve in your career.
But sometimes, it can be monumental. A full-on “holy shit” kind of epiphany where everything you thought you wanted is trumped by everything you actually want.
Bear with me, guys. This part in the story isn’t going to be easy.
Today, I’m going to tell you about the exact moment where I couldn’t go back.
The instant where I went against everything I’d told myself I’d do and I fell.
Hard.
Okay, here goes nothing…
[audible deep breath]