by JMD Reid
“Sorry, Corporal.” Grech turned to the beaming Ahneil—Chaylene’s stomach squirmed; the woman looked far too pleased—and grimaced, “You are not a sow. Sorry.”
“All right.” Ahneil flashed Ary a smoky glance.
Chaylene ground her teeth, her hand squeezing down on Ary’s wrist. Was there something going on between them? The way Ary reacted to Grech calling her a sow . . . What was Ary doing while I was on my walks . . .?
She dropped her spoon, her appetite fleeing. He’s doing nothing. I’m the one who walked on the edge of adultery. Chaylene never realized how fragile trust was, how easily the smallest glance eroded it.
“Are you all right, Lena?” Ary asked. “Not hungry?”
“Just thinking.” Ary doesn’t care for Ahneil. He’s just her corporal. He wouldn’t fall for such a pale-faced wench. “So, um, what are you writing to your ma about?”
Pain glistened in his red eyes. “I, uh . . .” He glanced around, then he slid the letter to her. She read his sloppy handwriting:
Ma,
Writing this letter has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. For years I hated what you’d become, wishing that you would go back to how you were before. As the years passed, I never thought it would happen. I gave up on you. I pushed all the love for you out of my heart. It made your words hurt less.
When you tried to apologize on the docks, I didn’t want to hear it. I thought I was free of you. It was the only good thing to come out of me and Chaylene being dragged into the Navy. So I ignored you. It wasn’t right that I did, but it was easier than dealing with you.
And then I read your letter.
I forgive you, Ma.
Something broke inside you. I know how grief and pain can fill your thoughts and make it hard to know what to believe. I don’t know when I’ll see you. Probably not until me and Chaylene muster out.
I don’t really know how to end this. I guess I should say I love you. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you. But it was just so hard to remember that.
Your son,
Briaris
Oh, yeah, I was promoted. I’m a corporal now. I guess I’ll write more later.
“Oh, Ary,” Chaylene whispered. “That was . . .” She felt eyes on her and snapped her jaws shut. It was no concern of theirs—especially not that sow-faced Ahneil. She handed the letter back to him.
Ary folded it up before caressing her wrist. Emotion swam in his red eyes as he warred for control. “So, um, what were you doing today? I saw you flying about.”
“Orientation.” Chaylene was about to cry herself, wishing she and her husband were in the privacy of their cottage. She grabbed her spoon and took a bite of the fish stew, chewing on a piece of stringy kelp to hide the emotion bubbling through her.
“We were navigating using compasses and hourglasses again,” Zori added. “We flew pretty far from camp this time.”
“Sounds like you had a good day, Lena,” Ary nodded, then took a big bite of his stew-soaked barley bread.
Chaylene smiled, noticing the sour look on Ahneil’s face as Ary ignored her. Chaylene almost stuck her tongue out, but she didn’t want to even acknowledge the woman and her attempts to net Ary. Ahneil isn’t competition. Ary still loves me. I just need to regain his trust. She felt it had begun with him sharing his letter.
“It was a great day. Bet I’ll be sore tomorrow, but it was the first time I just spent the day flying.” Chaylene’s smile grew. “It was so amazing. I saw so many new sights. And there was always more on the horizon. Les is so huge, so much larger than Vesche. There was even a big lake with the most crystal-clear water. There were fish swimming in it.”
“Really? Swimming?”
“I know. It was so strange to see these flashes of silver as the schools swam in the depths. And there were boats fishing them. Floating on the water instead of flying.”
“Amazing. You need to show me one day.”
“Definitely.”
“I flew over a forest,” Zori added. “Skimmed right over the tops of the white cedars. I could have reached down and touched them.”
Guts gave her a grunt, spooning more stew. He spluttered when Zori nudged him in the ribs.
“I flew over a forest,” she repeated.
“How amazing,” he grunted, rubbing his side.
“If you don’t pay attention to me, I’ll get bored and find another guy.”
He laughed. “And what guy is bigger than me?”
Zori tapped her chin. “Hmm, I’m sure there’s one out there.”
He put his thick arm around her. “Well, until you find him, I guess I’ll have to do.”
She leaned against him, smiling at the simple comfort. “Guess so.”
“I’ve flown over the plantations back on Dhony,” Ahneil said.
“Okay,” Ary answered, still looking at Chaylene. The Agerzak woman’s expression soured more.
“No one cares what you did in the Fringe,” Ailsuimnae declared from the end of the table, the half-Vaarckthian sailor winking at Chaylene.
“So what else did you see, Lena?” Ary asked.
“I saw a Zalg city around some mines in the hill.”
“I’ve always wanted to meet a Zalg.”
“That would be Qirt,” Estan said. “Amethyst is mined there. I would guess the Dauntless’s engine came from that mine.”
The mole-like Zalg were the only race to not have their own country. They lived across the skies, forming small communities on skylands around rich crystal or valuable stone deposits. They loved to dig and mine, and were welcomed everywhere because of their skills and crafts.
“Maybe on our next free day, I could take Whitesocks out and we could spend the day flying around the countryside.”
“I’d like that,” Ary said.
“Did you see Vel while you were flying around?” Ahneil asked.
Ary stiffened.
Chaylene’s face tightened. “Why would I see him?”
“No reason.” Innocence played in Ahneil’s eyes.
“I’m going to mail my letter,” Ary said.
“Oh, I’ll go with you,” Chaylene offered.
“It’s okay. Just popping down to the quartermaster’s office. Won’t take long. Keep eating. You had a busy day.” He gave her a peck on the cheek.
“Oh, sure.” Some of her unease came back.
“I got a letter to mail, too,” Ahneil added, pushing away from the table and joining Ary as he walked out of the mess hall.
Zori slid over, taking Ary’s spot. “Don’t worry ‘bout that trollop.”
“I’m not,” Chaylene lied.
“Ary wouldn’t do that to you. He loves you.”
“I did it to him. At least, I came very close. And I know I love him.”
“Ahneil will be casting her sow’s face at another guy soon,” Ailsuimnae said, spooning more stew into her mouth. “She’s a fickle wind.”
“Yeah, she is,” muttered Grech.
“Her flirting is utterly transparent,” Estan said. “Ary is just too nice to say anything to her.”
“Thank you,” she smiled.
“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Guts said, sneaking a bite of Zori’s stew. “Keep him out of trouble.”
Zori punched Guts in the arm. “Don’t steal my stew.”
“You seemed finished. Besides, a little thing like you doesn’t need to eat as much as me.”
“Why do I put up with you?”
“Because I’m big. And you like big men.”
“Remind me not to punch you,” Zori muttered, shaking her hand. “Your arm is made of solid rock. Like your head.”
“Exactly.” He grinned then stole another bite of her stew. “And I need lots of food to maintain my strength.”
She sighed. “Fine, you can finish my stew. But I expect a nice, long walk this evening and plenty of star-watching.”
Why isn’t Ary back yet? Fear nibbled at Chaylene’s guts. The quartermaster’s office wasn’t that fa
r. He better not be star watching with Ahneil.
“You know how much I love watching the stars with you,” Guts grinned, putting his arm around Zori’s slim shoulders.
“Wish I could find someone to star watch with,” Grech said. “Maybe I should sneak into Shon tonight.”
“And why would you inflict the whores with your face?” Zori asked.
Ailsuimnae giggled.
“Hey, me and the friendly maids get on just fine.”
“Is that why you are there almost every night?” Estan asked. “Surely you can find a better way to spend your money.”
“If you’d done it, you’d understand.”
Where is he?
“Estan gots to find himself a woman to go star-watching with,” Zori laughed. “Give them books a rest.”
Estan’s forehead furrowed. “I have gazed at the stars on many occasions. The heavens are quite fascinating to study. I have especially enjoyed observing the Ameche Star Shower.”
“Oh, Estan,” Zori sighed. “I’m disappointed. You do know what star-watching is, right?”
His gray eyes widened. “Oh. I see. A euphemism. But I thought only . . .” Estan cleared his throat.
“What are you implying?” Zori’s eyebrows arched.
“That you’re a woman of loose morals,” laughed Ailsuimnae.
“Er . . . I, um . . .” Estan stammered, then he noticed Guts. “No. Of course not.”
Zori laughed hard, slapping the table. “The look on your face, Estan!”
Chaylene glanced at the door. What is taking so long? Terrible images flashed through her mind. This is all my fault. I drove him away. I hurt him, and now he’s being comforted by Ahneil. And everyone’s gonna know.
She started to rise, then paused, scared to go look for her husband and find what she feared. She sat back down, fidgeting. Everyone at their table was laughing, even Estan, but she couldn’t join them. How can I laugh when I’ve made such a mess of things?
Zori’s laughter died as she glanced at Chaylene. “I’m gonna go for a quick bit of fresh air.” Zori’s green eyes locked on Chaylene’s, whispering: “I’ll find your husband and make sure that sow ain’t trying anything.”
“Thank you,” Chaylene mouthed.
The mess hall door opened and Ary strolled in. Zori froze, half standing, then sat back down on the bench. Guts shot her a confused look. She shrugged, scooting next to him and clearing a spot for Ary.
He sat down, the trestle creaking. “Sorry, the quartermaster and his assistants were doing inventory. Ahneil’s still dealing with them.”
“Oh,” Chaylene sighed, relaxing.
Ailsuimnae was pestering Estan about which sailor he’d like to star watch with while Guts and Zori questioned Grech about the friendly maids. No one paid attention to her and Ary. She leaned against him. “Ary . . .?”
“Yeah?”
“You’ve forgiven me, right?”
“Sure.”
Her body quivered. Tears brimmed in her eyes then one ran hot down her left cheek. “Have you? It doesn’t feel like it. Please forgive me. Please stop pulling away from me.”
He cupped her chin and peered into her eyes. “I forgave you, Chaylene. But . . .”
She froze. Her heart labored.
“You didn’t tell me. And . . .” He swallowed. “All you did was talk, right?”
“I swear, Ary. All I ever did on the walks was talk.” But he kissed me twice. She wanted to tell Ary, but fear held her back. What if he doesn’t understand? What if he finds out I wanted Vel to kiss me and to do so much more?
“I’m trying to believe you.”
Another tear ran hot down her cheek.
“Please, Ary. I love you.”
“It’s because I love you that I’m trying.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Isamoa 9th, 399 VF (1960 SR)
“Take care,” said Ary, embracing Chaylene in the mess hall and pressing the book in her breast pocket into her chest. Weeks had passed since Ary caught Chaylene with Vel, and a fragility gripped their marriage, delicate crystal that could shatter if disturbed. He hadn’t brought up Vel, and she hadn’t brought up his dreams. They continued that way almost every night. She tried her best to ignore them, but she itched to know.
The Ninth of Isamoa, the first day of autumn, began when the sun set. The days had grown shorter and a chill settled into the night. With only seven days remaining before they completed their training at Camp Chubris, Chaylene and her fellow scouts would practice their most dangerous skill: night navigation in open sky.
“You better come back,” he whispered.
“I will,” she smiled.
In the three weeks since the awful night she’d hurt Ary, his pain withdrew and his trust was growing back, a shoot sprouting amid rocky soil. Its roots weren’t deep, but she hoped it would grow strong. She hadn’t seen Vel at all other than brief glances of him.
“Good luck,” Estan nodded, grinning at her, stew staining the corners of his lips.
“You’ll do just fine,” Ailsuimnae smiled.
With the night growing colder, gratitude for a belly warmed by stew filled her. She wore her winter uniform: woolen pants, a heavier coat, leather gloves, a hat, and a woolen scarf that covered everything but her eyes. Goggles would cover those.
Nearby, Zori dangled in Guts’s arms, the pair sharing a very inappropriate kiss. The officers technically frowned on fraternization but rarely enforced it so long as the couple was discreet. Different rules applied to married couples—Ary didn’t hesitate to give her a kiss that would keep her warm during the long flight.
“You make sure my little Zori gets back,” Guts said to Chaylene. For once, the man didn’t have a smile spreading across half his face.
“We’ll watch out for each other.” Zori squirmed in his embrace. “It’ll be fine. All the scouts do this.”
“We should go,” Chaylene said, reluctant to pull away from Ary. Her stomach churned as a swarm of eels wriggled inside her guts. I just have to remember my training.
Ary took her arm. “I’ll walk you to the stables.”
She smiled.
They walked beneath a clear night to the stables. Isame the Maid was rising over the eastern horizon, one of the thirteen constellations making up the Circle of Stars that marked the year. Isame named the current month. The maid tended her celestial fields, the first mortal to plant a crop, taught by the peacock Xiadwul, one of Riasruo’s five sacred beasts. Xiadwul’s rainbow plumage spread across the northern sky right now, his beak pointing right to the Nail Star, the spot in the sky where the heavens rotated about the world.
“Don’t wait up for me. I’ll be fine. You’re going to have a busy day tomorrow.”
“Yes, dear,” he smiled. “I’ll try, but . . .”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“You do. But I’ll still worry.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked, his arm slipped around her waist. “If I get lost, I know you’ll come find me. You’re my Bronith.”
“I’ll chase you across the heavens.”
A month ago, the constellation of Bronith had twinkled as he’d chased after Eyia, trying to catch up to his love. Their constellations wouldn’t appear again until mid-winter. I bet Estan knows why the constellations change as the year goes on. I’ll ask him about it at our next brunch.
Ary watched as she saddled Whitesocks in his stall, stroking her pegasus’s muzzle and feeding him an apple. She kissed her mount on his nose, his chestnut hairs tickling her lips. “We’re going to have a nice flight tonight,” she cooed as she made sure she’d cinched the tight tack and saddle. Then she checked it a second time.
Her husband patted the pegasus on his reddish neck as she led him out of the stables. “Bring her home.”
Whitesocks neighed.
“Good boy.”
She mounted, leaned down, and gave her husband a kiss on the forehead. Then she heeled Whitesocks and tried t
o banish her nerves. She felt Ary’s eyes on her until she disappeared around a storehouse.
“Excited?” Zori asked, trotting Dancer up beside her.
“Not really.”
“It’ll be fun. It’s a beautiful night to fly.”
“It’s also going to be a late night.” Chaylene stretched her back.
“It’ll be fine. Les is so huge. It’s not like we can miss it.” Zori threw up her arms. “And look at those stars. I bet it’ll be like flying among them once we’re out over the Storm.”
“I didn’t know you liked the stars.”
Zori grinned, arching her eyebrows. “Well, I have been doing a lot of star-watching with Guts.”
A titter escaped Chaylene’s mouth, letting out some of the eels swarming in her stomach.
“I never really saw the stars living in Sey. At night, you had to watch out. You couldn’t afford to just be staring up at the sky.” Zori shrugged. “Besides, there were always torches or lanterns burning at night. You couldn’t see them that well.”
“I’ve always loved watching stars. Whenever I was struggling with something, I’d just go out, lie in the fields, stare up at all the constellations, and remember all the old stories.”
“You farm girls had the life.”
“I didn’t live on a farm. Me and Ma lived in a little shack on the outskirts of Isfe.”
“Least you weren’t dodging the pimps and pushers.”
“Are we having a competition? Who had the worst childhood?”
“Of course. And I’ll win.”
“Yeah. My childhood really wasn’t that terrible. I definitely know someone that had it worse.”
“And I’m glad you acknowledge all that I suffered.” Zori let out a great sigh, her lips curling, attempting to suppress a smile.
Chaylene’s laughter burst out, letting out the rest of those nervous eels.
~ * * ~
Ary watched his wife disappear into the night on her pegasus. He flexed his hand, trying to drive the nerves out of his skin. She would soon be soaring through the night skies out of sight of the skyland. If anything went wrong, he’d never see her again. If she fell into the Storm, she might survive with her Blessing. Legends said the ground lurked below the endless tempest.