Her tongue flicked along her lips, to moisten them. “I shouldn’t have been such an idiot. At first—when it was merely a matter of dressing his hand—I didn’t know who he was. Then I hesitated about telling him my name, but I would have done so if you hadn’t come in so soon. I know that sounds crazy, but...”
“It wasn’t very sensible,” he said abruptly, “but one can’t expect sophistication from a child.”
“I suppose I asked for that, but it’s an unkind thing to say.”
“It has to be said. Your episode with Colin was probably all very gay and funny, but it was childish—and I can’t altogether blame Colin. Didn’t it occur to you that he might take you for a nice playmate? He’s young and effervescent, and on Main Island he has to be careful, because of his father’s position. His opinion isn’t worth a great deal, but I do happen to be fond of him, and I certainly don’t want him or anyone else to get any false ideas!”
Her head lowered. “I gave no ideas. I just withheld my name.”
“You talked rubbish—or wasn’t it rubbish, about escaping your jailer by night?”
Distressed, she said, “It was rubbish, but it was good to be nonsensical for a change. Paul, you’re making a great deal out of very little. I know I did wrong in not telling Colin who I was, but I don’t see how it can matter so very much. After all, you must have set him back a bit yourself. He expected to stay here.”
“Which is another reason why you should have acted normally, as if you were happy. You know damned well why I had to send him back home!”
The vibrant anger in his voice stilled her for a minute. She picked a speck of fluff from her robe, drew in her lip. “You don’t care how miserable I might be about all this,” she said quietly. “You expect me to understand everything without being told what’s going on, and when I don’t, you think me a bigger fool than ever.”
“That isn’t true at all.” He paced to the veranda wall and stood there, frowning down at the garden. “There are aspects of this marriage of ours that I can’t discuss with you—not yet, anyway. But there’s one thing that you have to fix very firmly in your mind. The way others regard us is quite different from the way we regard ourselves. Of me, they don’t expect much change from before, but to them you’re a young bride. God forbid that you should put on an act, but it wouldn’t tax you too much, surely, to remember that you’re supposed to be married!”
“I never forgot it for an instant,” she said almost inaudibly.
He turned and looked across at her, said curtly, “Don’t tell me you regret it; it isn’t necessary.”
“But I don’t regret it—not if you don’t. I just feel horrid because I seem to have come between you and your people and yet I’m not able to give you anything to ... to make up for it.”
“What do you want to give?” he asked coolly.
“Whatever you need from me.” She looked down at the tightly clasped hands in her lap. “Until you’re reconciled to your uncle you’ll always resent me.”
“Don’t be silly. There’s no real rift between me and the Governor. If there were just Colin and his father at the Residency I’d take you over tomorrow.”
“And ... and would you go through with the church ceremony, as he wishes?” she whispered.
He lifted his shoulders, and answered with chill sarcasm, “I wouldn’t take the farce that far, even for the Governor.” Somehow, she found the courage to ask, “So you don’t think of those words which were spoken over us as binding?”
“Oh, yes—they were legal enough.” He gestured, as if to close a distasteful topic. “Look here, Lorna, I haven’t the least wish to distress you. We’re bound to hurt each other sometimes but we have to avoid it when we can.” He paused, then asked casually, “Did you find Colin attractive?”
She cast him a small, apologetic smile. “He is, rather, isn’t he? He knows it, too.”
“I suppose he told you how pretty you are and wanted to know whether you’re keen on dancing. Does it flutter you a little to have someone talk to you like that?”
“Yes, I think it does. I’m not used to it.” She didn’t add that it would flutter her more than a little had Paul himself chosen to flirt occasionally with his own wife. “He seems awfully young, though.”
He was grimly amused. “He’s twenty-six, only six years younger than I am. Don’t be trite and say that you prefer older men.”
“It may be trite, but I do. I like Colin’s light-heartedness, but if I had to spend an evening with someone who ... who wasn’t you ... I’d rather it was Bill Ramsay. Bill seems to understand so many things without being told them.”
“Because he’s been married,” Paul commented mockingly.
“No, I don’t think it’s that, because ... because sometimes you have the same quality.” She sounded a trifle confused as she went on, without looking at him, “Paul, I wish you’d forget my youth occasionally. I’ve often seen you on the point of saying something which you’ve kept to yourself simply because you think I’m not old enough to appreciate adult feelings and reactions. It worries me because ... well, how am I ever going to make you believe in me as a woman if you never give me an opening?”
There was a short silence. Then he replied, without expression, “I’m afraid this relationship of ours isn’t so easy as it looked at the beginning. I know you’re disappointed, but it can’t be helped. It sounds very glib, to call it an engagement, but an engagement is very close to marriage except that there’s the well-defined barrier between the two states. You marry, and the barrier is gone. D’you see?”
“You mean that ... our barrier was down too soon?”
“You’re learning,” he said succinctly.
She quelled a tremulous sigh. She was young and candid enough to go on probing, but something sealed him away from her. She stood up and went to the veranda wall, leaving space between them.
“I’ve caused you a lot of trouble, haven’t I?”
“Not a lot—only a bit,” he conceded with a cool smile. “By the way, I’ve got hold of a dressmaker for you. She has a workshop over in the town near the hotel, but I’ve arranged for her to come here to take measurements, if you’d prefer it. The time will come when we’ll have to visit the Residency, and whatever else may be missing you must certainly have the right gear, and plenty of it.” She felt flat and uninterested. “What sort of clothes?”
“Day and evening wear—and something rather more rich and flowing than this wrap you wear.” His voice seemed to become unusually smooth. “As a matter of fact, Lorna, I have to go away for two or three weeks. There’s an island to the north of Main Island which is more or less up for sale—the land, of course. We put in a few acres of experimental trees a year ago and I have to look them over and weigh up whether the land would be as good for rubber as this in Panai. I’m leaving in a couple of days.”
“Oh.” She pressed her palms hard on to the stone wall. “You couldn’t take me with you?”
“There’s nowhere for a woman to live. I thought it would be a good idea if you were to use the time to get thoroughly rigged out.”
“Would you trust me to choose my own clothes?”
He ignored the faint bitterness in her voice. “Yes, I think so, but you’ll have someone here to help you. I couldn’t leave you here alone, so a few days ago I wrote over to Elise Ramsay and invited her to stay with you while I’m away. She gave Colin her answer; she’s delighted to accept”
In tight tones she said, “I don’t know Elise Ramsay. It isn’t fair to tell me this after it’s arranged. Is she the person who told you how the Chinese silk should be made up?”
“She is.”
“She’s also Bill Ramsay’s wife!”
“I shall tell Bill she’s coming; if he wants to avoid her, it’s up to him. Elise is a darned nice woman; it’s lucky she’s around just now.”
“How can she be nice if she wants to divorce Bill?”
“Oh, come now,” he said reasonably. “Marriages
do go astray, my child, and you can take it that mostly both partners are to blame. If a woman falls for another man it’s generally because the husband is either taking her for granted or insanely jealous of every man she looks at. Bill was the first kind, and Elise has too much red blood to put up with it.”
“She sounds most unpleasant!”
He gave her a sharp smile. “She isn’t. She’s quite beautiful and warm-hearted. You’re cross because I arranged it without consulting you, but if we had discussed it you’d have gone pigheaded and made trouble. For once, you must believe I’m doing what’s best for you.”
She stood there, feeling his steady, all-seeing eyes upon her. The hot tight feeling in her throat moved to a spot behind her brow and she put up a hand and pressed it between her eyes. His fingers closed over her shoulder and he spoke quietly but with a thread of roughness.
“Just now, we’re not good for each other; I feel it even more than you do. This job that I’m going away on has to be done some time soon, and for both of us it’s best that I should go now. You’ll be safe with Elise, and there’ll be clothes to choose, someone to talk to. I gave Colin a letter to the Governor, telling him that I don’t want you to be troubled before I get back, so you’ll be able to relax completely. You need it, Lorna.”
“Leave me alone.”
His fingers tightened. “I won’t have you speak to me like that. These arrangements are more for your good than mine. I’d have far less to worry about if I could leave you over on Main Island with the Governor, but as I can’t I’m doing the next best thing.” His hand dropped, and his tone changed slightly. “You’re beginning to get keyed up, Lorna. I foresaw something of the sort but didn’t think it would happen so soon; actually, we can’t afford to have it happen at all.”
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. "You must arrange things as you think best, of course. I’d really rather stay here alone than have a stranger so suddenly intimate, but you know this woman.” Shadowed hazel eyes looked up at him. “You must know this Mrs. Ramsay fairly well.”
“Yes, I do,” he admitted calmly. “She and I were good friends a good many years ago—before she married Bill.”
“How long have they been parted—Bill and his wife?”
“Seven or eight months.”
“If she really wants a divorce why doesn’t she go home to England?”
A shrug. “Her interests happen to be right here. Feel better?”
“Yes, than you,” she said automatically. “I shall have to dress.”
“Would you like to go down with me for a swim?”
It was odd, but she felt raw, as if she couldn’t stand any more of him just now. “No, I’ll just take a shower. See you later.”
She went into her room, and because he had not moved she stood there, looking polite and downcast, with her fingers on the handle of the french door. His jaw jutted, as though his teeth were tight behind his lips, and his eyes were narrowed with something rather more forceful than exasperation. For a moment she thought ... even hoped! ... that he would take a stride and shake her. But his hands went into his pockets and he turned sharply along the veranda. She closed the door, drew a long quivering breath and stole through into the bathroom.
For the two days before he went away Paul was suave, aloof and gentle. Even when they were alone he seldom let slip the mask of kindliness and consideration. He showed Lorna a map of the Main Islands, pointed out that Panai was as big as Main Island and the rest of the islands were much smaller. He talked about volcanic soil, about the particular variety of rubber tree which did best in the climate. He opened a large-scale map of the island he would be visiting, pointed but the experimental acres in different parts of it and showed her where the hut stood, on the edge of the single large native village. That was the shelter he would be using, and he said it was no more convenient than the average islander’s hut
He and Jake did his packing between them. He was taking a servant with him to do his cooking and laundry, and while there he would use a Land Rover which was already on its way by freighter. The tourer would remain here at the bungalow, for Lorna’s use. If Elsie Ramsay didn’t care to drive it Jake would always find a driver. She, Lorna, could trust any of the company drivers; they had been well trained.
He seemed to have thought of everything. Elise, he told Lorna in the smooth tones which always said more than the words he uttered, could use his bedroom. Perhaps Lorna wouldn’t mind if most of his clothes and small possessions were moved into her room till he returned. He didn’t say it would look more normal but it was impossible not to infer it.
Every arrangement he had made was watertight and correct. He had decided to leave at eleven o’clock, which was just an hour after Mrs. Ramsay arrived. He collected her himself at the jetty and drove her up to the bungalow so that he had only twenty minutes in which to make introductions and some pleasant small talk which was calculated to put Lorna at ease with the woman who was to be her house-mate for about three weeks.
To Elise Ramsay, as she got out of the tourer that morning, the girl who stood in the bungalow porch was rather more of a surprise than she would have admitted to Paul Westbrook. The short brown curly hair framed a smallish face which was rather pale under the tan and too dark round the eyes; the innocent starchiness of the striped cotton dress showed slender bare arms and legs, and there was something infinitely appealing about the small flat white sandals. The wedding ring, in Elise’s opinion, was a stark incongruity. Involuntarily, she found herself watching Paul and trying to decide why in the world he had taken on this girl.
Unaware of her own effect on Mrs. Ramsay, Lorna gathered impressions with a new mature swiftness. Elise was tall and beautifully proportioned, and her black hair, which had only the suspicion of a wave, was worn gently drawn back from a centre parting and twisted into a loose knot. She had high cheek-bones and a pointed chin, dark slanting eyes and a generous red mouth. Her nose was short and straight, her teeth white and rather large but geometrically perfect. She looked like a woman who has experienced most things and found them tolerable.
She said cheerily, “Awfully sorry I haven’t been able to meet you before, Lorna. I did suggest to Paul that I might come over yesterday so that we were all three together for a while, but I don’t believe he wanted me around too soon. Can’t say I blame him. He must have been busy.”
There were drinks and coffee in the living room. Jake loaded Paul’s gear into one of the company’s jeeps and stood near it, chatting lazily with the driver, till the tuan came out with the mems.
Paul dropped his binoculars and the special camera into the jeep, turned with a smile to say goodbye. He took the older woman’s hand.
“I’m depending on you, Elise. Lots of clothes, mind, entertaining as often as you like but keep Mrs. Astley at bay. The woman’s a nuisance.”
“I’m with you all the way,” Elise told him. “Sure you wouldn’t like us to go with you to the jetty?”
“No, you stay here. Bill’s the obvious one to call on if you should need help of any kind, but there’s Astley, otherwise. Too bad he has a semi-neurotic wife.”
“I’m pretty self-reliant,” she said. “I’ll see that no one steals your wife.”
He grinned and turned to Lorna, spoke softly. “Have some good times, but not too good! And really let yourself go over the clothes. If I can get a letter over to you, I will, but you’re not to worry if you don’t hear from me. You can write to me care of the Residency.”
She suddenly thought of a dozen things to ask him, was hardly aware that the panic was part of her uncertainty and the longing to keep him here. “When will you get to the island?”
“Some time this evening.”
“Are they expecting you?”
“I suppose so, but it doesn’t matter if they aren’t.”
“Will you communicate with Sir Ronan while you’re away?”
“It may not be necessary. This isn’t really government business.”
As suddenly as she had thought of the questions she was wordless. She looked up at him and her lips trembled. He touched her arm, bent and kissed her cheek. Then he was in the jeep and telling the driver, under his breath, to step on it.
The two women went back into the house, side by side. Elise picked up her hat and bag from a chair, said lightly,
“Well, my dear, it seems you’re stuck with me, but I’m not quite so bad as you might think, and I do know a great deal about living in these places, so I may be able to help in some ways. You know, Paul lectured me on the way up from the jetty this morning about the way you’re to be looked after. We had quite an argument.”
“Did you?”
Elise lifted a black brow. “You’re awfully cool, for one so young. Don’t you hate to have him coddle you?”
“Did he tell you I have to be fussed over?”
“No. He simply mentioned that you’re not to do much in the garden or overdo the swimming. I laughed at him when he said those things, but I must say that you don’t look as bright as you ought. The early weeks of marriage can be trying, can’t they?” she ended sympathetically.
Lorna felt the familiar tightening up inside. “Perhaps you’d like to unpack now. Jake took your cases to your room; it’s the first to the left, in the corridor. Ask him for anything you need.”
“Thanks,” Elise answered, with nonchalant irony. "Sorry I stumbled.”
It wasn’t a particularly good beginning to their relationship, but Elise was twenty-nine and seasoned; she also felt a growing compassion for this intelligent but unfledged wife of Paul Westbrook’s. Herself, she had always liked Paul, and there had been moments, before her marriage, when he had attracted her unbearably; she had half thought that he had felt the pull, too, but been too absorbed in his career to do anything about it.
The four years of her marriage had flowed by in Malaya, and then Bill had applied for the post of assistant manager of the Panai Rubber Estates. Paul, it seemed, had assumed that the applicant was the Bill Ramsay who had married Elise, and after making the usual enquiries he had engaged Bill, no doubt expecting him to turn up with his wife. But Bill had come alone and she, Elise, had decided it might help her to sort things out if she could reopen her old friendship with Paul. So she had come to Main Island, he had introduced her into the Residency and she had been a welcome guest there for a month, after which Sir Ronan Garfield had permitted her to take over the house of one of his officials, who was going off on long leave.
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