27 Chastity
As I signed my name to our marriage license, gone were all the concerns that ebbed and flowed inside until the moment I held Xavier’s hand in front of the magistrate. It was because of the love—the love I had for Xavier, but what seemed to be boundless was the love he had for me.
It was in his eyes when we faced each other. Love that he’d never offered to anyone before and love that he’d never received. As I held his hands, I knew for sure we were brought together for a time such as this.
“So, do we have to file this someplace, or do you take care of all of that?” I asked Milton.
Will jumped in front of his brother. “We take care of that. And once it’s filed we’ll get this in the mail to you.”
“How long will it be?” I asked.
It was weird the way Will hesitated and glanced at Xavier. But then, when he said, “We have to file this on Tuesday because Monday is a holiday,” I understood. Neither Xavier nor I knew how this worked. I could tell anyone everything about ending a marriage, but because I’d never expected to be in this place, I’d never been curious enough to check out how a marriage started.
Not that I needed to know now. I was married, and I would only have one husband: this man.
As I turned to my husband, his expression was my mirror—his face was bright with his grin. Holding my hand, he said, “Well, if that’s everything…” Xavier didn’t complete his sentence, but I could tell he was ready to leave this place.
“I wish you two the best,” the magistrate said.
“Yeah, you kids get out of here and get to whatever it is folks do on their wedding night.”
Will cracked up at his joke, and we accepted that as his good-bye. With a final nod to the two of them, Xavier and I ran to the elevator banks… and we giggled.
“We really did this?” Xavier asked, as if he couldn’t believe it.
“Yup!” I nodded.
“So you’re really Chastity King.”
In the midst of this whirlwind, I’d had little time to think about some very basic components to my new life. In this moment, I preferred to be known as Chastity Jeffries King, a homage to my father as his only child. But this wasn’t the time to mention that. This was the time to just savor our wedding day.
When the elevator doors parted and we stepped inside, Xavier pulled me to him and held me. That was all he did once the elevator doors closed—just held me like he wanted me, needed me.
As we stepped off the elevator, I asked, “So what are we going to do now?”
Xavier pushed the lobby door open and then pointed.
When I followed his gaze, I pressed my hands against my face as Xavier trotted toward the pearl phantom sedan that waited with opened doors at the curb. A man dressed in a tuxedo stood there, and Xavier shook his hand.
Then the man nodded at me and gestured toward the back seat. I slipped inside the Bentley, sliding across the softest leather seat my behind had ever touched.
When Xavier joined me, all I could do was shake my head. “I don’t even want to know what else you have planned, and I don’t want to know how you did all of this in just a few hours.”
“It’s what I do.” He grinned.
He was right about that, and rest of the evening was like a whirlwind, much like our relationship. First Jason, our driver who introduced himself as we pulled away, told me he was there to take me and Xavier anywhere we wanted to go. Our first stop: Restaurant R’evolution. I’d never heard of this restaurant, but the moment I stepped inside and took in the polished mahogany paneled walls with gilded mirrors and crystal chandeliers (the only lighting throughout), I knew this restaurant was one of the best in the city.
After we were seated inside a corner velvet booth and I studied the menu, I saw that my assumption was correct—at least as far as the prices were concerned. Then the dinner we shared: a dish called Death by Gumbo (which was to die for) before we ordered caviar, then ricotta gnocchi with lobster as an entree for me, and the rack of lamb for Xavier, proved that I’d been right about this restaurant being five-star.
Xavier and I moaned (and kissed) our way through the deliciousness of the dinner.
“This is our first meal together as husband and wife,” Xavier reminded me.
“I can’t believe it,” I said, though I didn’t feel different. Xavier and I chatted easily and kissed passionately through dinner like we always did.
From the restaurant, Jason drove just a few blocks to Toulouse Street, where, right before we boarded a steamship, I clapped. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” I said as I held my dress above my ankles, stepping carefully over the ramp. Once inside the steamboat, I frowned.
“Are we early?” I scanned the empty ship.
“We’re right on time,” Xavier said. “We have this to ourselves.”
My mouth stayed open wide as Xavier led me to the second level, where a spread of desserts—banana foster, bread pudding, and, of course, an assortment of beignets—was laid out for us. We settled in, and as the boat began its jaunt down the Mississippi River, Xavier explained we had this private cruise for only an hour.
Only? A private steamship where we were being serenaded by a New Orleans jazz quartet that kept me bouncing my head and tapping my foot… It couldn’t get any better.
The hour moved too quickly, and though I didn’t want to leave, I exited so satisfied. I couldn’t wait to see where Xavier was taking us next. But when, just about ten minutes later, the Bentley stopped in front of our hotel, I smiled. I was ready for us to go home, too.
We thanked Jason and then held hands as we entered the lobby of the Ritz. When we were in our suite, I stepped into Xavier’s embrace, and from there our souls connected. It was so natural when we kissed, slowly, gently. It was more than familiar as we undressed each other, eager yet patient because… we had forever.
And then, when I lay with my husband for the first time, it felt sacred because we’d been united before God. And for the first time, after I sang to the heavens and rolled away from Xavier, I was more than satisfied. For the first time in my life, I was not in sin.
28 Xavier
Chastity’s limbs were the branches, and I was the tree. At least that’s what it felt like, with the way her arms and legs were wrapped around me. I inched away, holding my breath. When I got to the edge of the bed, I paused, making sure my wife still slept.
As I traipsed to the chair by the window, goose bumps rose over my skin, even though I wasn’t cold. The temperature felt just right. Or maybe it wasn’t the temperature. Maybe it was my life that was finally right.
I settled into the chair and then glanced out into the blue black of the night. There wasn’t much of the view from our window. Canal Street was certainly no Caribbean island, but still this view would be one I’d remember. Because this was where I found my happiness.
How had I pulled this off? I was just a poor boy from Sumner, Mississippi, the son of a rapist and a mother who loved me but left me. Even though I’d wanted to believe, I’d never been convinced that happiness would find me.
But now I understood. All of the others who’d left had cleared the way for Chastity.
My eyes focused on the sky. I was a little boy the last time I’d prayed, but now I bowed my head, closed my eyes, and said the only words that came to my mind: “Thank you, Lord.”
“Xavier?” Chasity called out to me.
“I’m right here, baby.”
Chastity pushed herself up, and I swallowed at the sight of the silhouette of her breasts. “Are you okay?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, baby.” Making my way back to her, I slipped beneath the duvet and pulled her into my arms. “I just had to get up and give praise to God.” She pulled away to look at me, and I continued, “I was praying because I know God exists, even as I’ve been so angry at Him.” I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed her fingers. “But what I’ve come to realize is that God was saving up every good thing for me for right now.”
“Xavier,” she said, palming my cheek.
I tugged her hand away and held her, only because I didn’t want her to think my words were just another line. “I want you to hear me, Chastity.” I had to take a few seconds because I was full—there was so much I wanted her to know. “You are my gift from God. And for the rest of my life I will thank Him by honoring you.” I had to pause so I could push out the rest past the lump in my throat. “I didn’t get to say any of this to you today, never thinking about the fact that we wouldn’t really get to say vows. I didn’t get to say what was in my heart.”
Chastity blinked more than a few times. “There is so much I want to say to you, too. So let’s do this: let’s recite our vows here, right now.” She scooted in front of me and held both of my hands.
As she balanced herself on her knees, in all of her naked glory, I chuckled. This would certainly be one of the most memorable parts of our day.
I rose up and faced her before I took her hands into mine.
She began, “I’ve let few people into my life and never anyone near my heart.” She shook her head. “I was always afraid that life wasn’t perfect. I was afraid I’d follow in my mother’s footsteps.”
I nodded, wanting now to pull her close to me, but I stayed in the moment. Chastity and I had never talked about her parents, though she knew I knew… the world knew. KJ lived his sins in public.
“But the thing is,” she continued, “I do want to follow in my mother’s footsteps.” I raised an eyebrow, and she continued, “My mother gave my father grace, and he grew into the man that God wanted him to be. Of course, I don’t want their drama”—her chuckle was void of humor—“but I want to be the woman who loves you, who stands by you, who gives you the grace you need to grow into the man God wants you to be. I am so honored you and God chose me to help you step into all that you are meant to be.
“I love you, Xavier King. I loved you yesterday, and, oh my God, I love you today, and the love I will have for you tomorrow and the day after that is growing within me now. I am so happy to be your wife.”
The only reason I didn’t move was because she held me in place. But I wanted to do something: kiss her, hold her, make love to her… again.
When she said, “Your turn,” I took a breath and began:
“You are my blessing. Every morning, every night and the moments when I can in between, I will thank God for you. Not a day will pass when you won’t know how much I love you. Let’s do this, Chastity King. Let’s make this one hell of a marriage, one hell of a life.”
When she laughed, I joined her, but then we sealed our vows with a kiss… and so much more… until the sun began to rise.
Then we slept.
29 Chastity
The moment the tires hit the tarmac, I swiped over to my phone’s settings, clicked off airplane mode, and right away my cell vibrated. At first I thought it was text messages, but it was an incoming call, and a thumbnail photo of my mother’s official First Lady portrait flashed on my screen.
The sight of her made me frown, pause, wonder.
“What’s wrong?” Xavier leaned over my shoulder.
“It’s my mother.” I stared at my cell as if I couldn’t decide what to do. “I wonder what she wants.”
“I have a bright idea—why don’t you answer and see.” His tone was filled with levity, as if he hadn’t heard what I said. This was my mother. My plan had been that except for a few calls to say hello, I would stay away from my parents for a few weeks. Work was going to be my excuse, as Xavier and I agreed we’d give ourselves time to get settled before we faced the world’s judgment.
Well, I guessed this would be my first call. I’d make it short, quick, and over before my mother asked anything. I tapped ACCEPT. “Hey, Mom, is everything okay?”
“Sweetheart, I was calling to check on you. Are you back?”
“Yes,” I said, thinking I could have easily added, My husband and I just landed. Instead, I said, “Xavier and I are getting off the plane.”
“Great. I hope your holiday weekend was better than ours.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing happened, but your father… Since you’ve been gone he’s been so concerned.”
Right away, my heart skipped. What had God told my father? I asked, “Concerned about what?”
I heard my mother’s shrug in her sigh. “I don’t know. But I’m telling you, this has gone on all weekend. He kept asking if I’d spoken to you, kept wanting to call you. I had to tell him what you always tell us—you’re grown. You would be fine. But he’s been on edge since you left on Friday, and on Saturday, it was at its peak.”
If I were not a colored girl, everyone on this plane would have seen the blood drain from my face. “Well, I’m okay,” I told her, as I wondered how much God had revealed. “Can I call you when I get home?”
“Of course,” my mother said. “In fact, don’t worry about calling tonight. Get settled, and then your father and I will stop by your place tomorrow evening.”
Yeah, God had definitely been talking. Papa and my mother hadn’t been by my place… ever. The way my family was set up, my parents expected me to come to them—either to their home, church, or even a restaurant of their choice. Now, suddenly, they wanted to come to me?
I groaned before I asked, “Can we do it maybe in a couple days?”
“We won’t stay very long.” That meant my request had been denied. “Your father needs to see you, Chastity. That’s the only thing that will settle him. It took everything to stop him from meeting you at your door tonight. So we’ll come by, check on you, and then be on our way.”
I couldn’t protest too much, or else my father would be at my door tonight. “Okay, I’ll have a better idea of the time tomorrow when I get into the office. I’ll call after I see what’s waiting for me on my desk.”
“Great.” Then she added, “Just one last thing, sweetheart. I’m sure he won’t be there, but your father would like to see just you… and not Xavier, this time.”
Oh my God! “Why?” I asked, hardly breathing.
“Just this once,” she said as if that was an explanation. “He wants to talk to just you.”
About what? I screamed, but only inside. My outside voice said, “All right,” and then we exchanged “I love you” before I hung up.
As the jet rolled to a stop at the gate, my eyes didn’t leave my phone.
“What’s up with your mom?” Xavier said, resting his chin on my shoulder.
I shook my head. How was I supposed to answer that when I didn’t know? I glanced up at Xavier and said nothing. I had just spent the best days of my life with my new husband, but for sure, my forty-eight-hour honeymoon was over.
* * *
I WAITED UNTIL we were at baggage claim before I said to Xavier, “My mom and dad want to see me tomorrow.”
He tilted his head. “About what?”
My eyes stayed lowered. “All my mother said was that my father has been upset and he needs to see me.”
When I glanced up, I could almost see Xavier’s brain analyzing, calculating, then finally making a decision. “Well, that means we’ll tell them tomorrow.” As our bags dumped onto the carousel, he added, “Honestly, I’m ready. I don’t want to keep this a secret. This will be perfect.”
Xavier hadn’t been listening to me, because not once had I mentioned that my parents wanted to see us. And he clearly didn’t know Sisley and Kareem Jeffries, because talking to them tomorrow wasn’t perfect in any universe. With my father stirred up, I’m married were not words that would settle him down.
But I said nothing as we grabbed our bags, and before we made it to the glass doors that led outside, Xavier said, “Let me call an Uber.”
“Okay. You call yours and I’ll call mine.”
It wasn’t until he glanced at me sideways that I realized what I’d said. “Oh my God.”
“Yeah,” he said, “we’re married.”
“I hadn’t thought a
bout that.” I paused. “So where…”
Before I could finish, he said, “We’re going to my place.” He spoke with such certitude that I took instant offense.
“How did you decide that without speaking to me?”
He said, “We’ve always stayed at my place,” as if I’d asked a question with such an obvious answer.
“That’s right,” I said, feeling my ire rise. “Do you realize you’ve never even been inside my place? Except for escorting me to my door, you’ve never seen where or how I live.” Those words were a fact that hadn’t bothered me till now. My God. We knew so little about each other.
He leaned his head back as if he was trying to decide if I’d spoken the truth. And then he only shrugged.
“Xavier!” Slowly, he turned his whole body to face me, his expression letting me know that he had questions. It was another moment of clarity—he didn’t even know how my voice sounded when I was upset.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” His countenance was the opposite of mine.
“I have a place, too,” I said, not backing down. “A condo where I’ve been living. That’s where everything I own is right now. And you’re saying I should move in with you without us even talking about it.”
“No.” His voice remained slow and low. “I’m saying that it’s almost ten o’clock, and both of us are tired and have to be up for work in just hours. So instead of trying to figure this out in this moment, I’m saying let’s go to my place and we’ll handle this tomorrow.”
“That’s what I mean.” I folded my arms. “You’re saying… we’ll go to your place. Without asking me.”
“Baby.” He posted up in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry; you’re right. Let’s stay at your place.”
I still fumed as he canceled his Uber and ordered another. Once he did that, he hugged me. “Are you good?”
His calm made me feel silly. It wasn’t like me to get upset over something so trivial. But my attitude wasn’t about Xavier and where we would sleep. This angst was all about my parents.
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