by Alisha Paige
I’m praying for your safe return home and I too am begging Pa for a definite date and believe me when I say that I’m trying with all my might to get you home before Christmas. The thought of a Christmas without you is simply unbearable and I for one will not stand for it. Pa insists that you are safe as safe can be and I’m praying that you are, dear Cliff. I spend my days daydreaming of our future and our children and our home together. It will be so lovely when you come home to me. I miss your kisses, too and I long to be in your arms, safe and secure. My nights seem long and torturous and I’ve complained to Mama for so long that she is just plain sick of my belly aching. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to go on and on, but I do miss you so and it hurts so badly. I truly understand the term “love sick” now, for I truly am love sick for you, my darling.
I am anxious to read the story you sent Pa. Many changes are happening in Europe and even though I didn’t seem to pay much attention to such a faraway place before, I certainly do now, since my dear husband resides there, working for my own Pa of all things. I’d never believe it in a million years if someone had told me I’d be married to a man who works in Austria. Isn’t it strange to think of our lives in that way? In a way, I still feel like a little girl, yet I’m married to a very important international reporter. I feel very modern about it and I tend to brag about you to all my friends, for it’s quite true and they all know it.
Mama and I have been working on our wedding quilt. It should have been made before we were married, but we were hitched in such a rush. I know it will turn out lovely, but it is painfully slow and boring. I was never cut out for quilting. I often grow bored simply mending a seam or sewing on an old button. Honestly, I have to admire Lily for her sewing abilities. I have none, but there is nothing else to pass the time. Pa wants me to think of going to the University in the Fall, but I’m hoping that by then, you will be on your way home and then we will be getting a house and I’ll be far too busy with a new home.
I promise to write you every week as well and probably more often than that.
I love you my wonderful husband,
Louise
P.S. I will meet you in my dreams tonight.
~ * ~
By mid-April Vienna began to thaw as Cliff made his way to the post office to mail his latest letter to Louise. Walking the few blocks from the hotel to the post office warmed him and by the time he pushed the heavy post office doors open, his beaver coat was stifling. Reaching into his left pocket, he fumbled for his mail box key and shrugged off the heavy fur. He enjoyed the few seconds of anticipation when opening the tiny golden door, but more often than naught, he peered into an empty metal box, quickly clanking it shut.
Today a long lime green envelope lay inside and feeling like a kid, he snatched it quickly, glancing down at the address line to make sure it was delivered to the correct box. Sure enough, his name was printed in a thick black script and he knew at once that it was from Bill. Inside laid a paycheck which he could deposit in his account that he had already opened in a nearby bank, with Bill’s help. Cliff was amazed at the connections Bill had all over the world,
April 5, 1938
Dear Cliff-
I trust you are doing fine and find Vienna as spectacular as I remember it in my youth. The architecture is quite beautiful and one can see why it was a haven for artists in the previous century.
I found your latest story well written, though disturbing. I felt certain I was sending you to the safest place, but now I am more than a little concerned. I’m not sure how much local news you are receiving there (a lot of it may be slow in coming, silenced by the Nazi party), but according to the news heard here in the states, Hitler formed a union with Austria on March 12. Leaders in our country were alarmed by this and there is much speculation as to why he felt it necessary to become united with Austria.
I know it has been difficult to correspond with others, but I want you to pay a visit to the embassy and look into obtaining a translator for journalistic purposes. Interviews directly from the people will make your stories much stronger.
Take care of yourself son. You are continually in our prayers. Louise sends her love.
Bill
~ * ~
Louise awoke feeling queasy again, thinking the worst of her sickness was behind her. When would this darn bug leave her? Throwing back the covers, her bare feet hit the wooden floor running. She threw her bathroom door open and flung herself at the toilet, overcome by waves of nausea, wracked with violent heaves emanating from her turbulent stomach. She fought to hold her hair out of the way, but lost the battle, making a mess of her long tresses and nearly gagging on her own sickness.
Viola heard her daughter coughing and grasping for air. She flicked on the light, running to her side.
“Darling, you are still so sick?”
Louise squeezed her eyes shut at the sight of the vomit swirling beneath her. Her throat burned and her eyes stung with hot tears. She could only nod as her mother patted her back and grabbed a towel from the sink, wetting it with warm water and washing her daughter’s face as she struggled to stand.
“I’ll call the doctor right away. Let’s get you back in bed.”
Louise couldn’t argue as the room began to spin again, growing whiter. Viola helped her to her bed, then secured the heavy curtains, blocking out the blade of sunlight that cut a wide ribbon through her bedroom.
“I’ll go fetch you some tea and call the doctor, dear. Holler if you need me.”
Louise nodded again and pulled the cool sheets up to her chin. Viola returned promptly with a glass of iced tea and two crackers. “I know you don’t feel like eating, dear, but just get these down. They’ll help to settle your stomach.”
Louise did as her mother asked, nearly losing it all again, sweating to keep it down as she swallowed hard and took a mere sip of tea. Within half an hour, the doctor was there. Louise heard his steady steps as he approached the bed, though she could never manage to peek out at him. A cold stethoscope landed on her chest.
“Two deep breaths for me, Louise.”
Louise breathed deeply twice and sighed, suddenly feeling better. The wave of sickness seemed to be subsiding. She peered out at the doctor and saw her mother’s worried frown over his shoulder.
“How long have you felt like this?”
Louise scrunched her eyebrows together. Any effort at thinking even seemed difficult. “I had the flu two weeks ago, but got better and then, suddenly I’m worse again.”
“Hmm,” the doctor replied as he scratched his chin. “I think I better do a thorough examination.”
Louise was suddenly afraid at his tone and looked to her mother for support who looked equally scared, if not more so. Viola walked to the opposite side of the bed and took her daughter’s cold hand, warming it in her own. What was the doctoring thinking and why did he find it necessary to do a thorough examination?
“What do you think is wrong, Doc?” Viola asked softly.
“Well, I’m not sure. Let’s just have a look. You’ll need to help her slip off her under garments. I think a pelvic is necessary.”
Louise had never had a pelvic and the thought horrified her.
“What for?” Louise asked, her stomach lurching, feeling queasy again.
“You don’t think she has TB, do you Doc?” Viola asked, more alarmed than ever.
Where in the world had her mother gotten that idea from? TB was hardly diagnosed with a pelvic. “No, certainly not. She has none of the symptoms. I’ll just step outside for a moment. Help her undress and then I’ll finish the exam.”
“Thank you, doctor,” Louise managed to say with a shaky smile.
The doctor shut the door softly behind him. Viola helped Louise out of bed and out of her panties. “Can I leave my nightgown on?”
“Of course, dear,” Viola answered as she helped her back into bed and fluffed her pillow. “Now don’t worry, Louise. I’ll hold your hand and it’ll be over faster than the blink of an eye.”
“Okay, Mama,” Louise replied, worried that she had contracted some sort of strange virus and still not certain why she needed to remove her panties. The only time one had to have an exam down there was usually when... Oh ... oh my.
The doctor rapped softly before entering. “Ready?”
“We’re ready, doctor,” Viola called out.
The doctor stood at the foot of the bed and opened his black bag. He rummaged around and made some tinkling noises, which Louise guessed to be mostly sharp instruments.
“Okay, Louise, point your knees to the ceiling and lift your gown for me. It’ll take less than a minute.”
Viola took her daughter’s hand and helped to lift her cotton nightgown over her knees. Louise bit her lower lip and squeezed her eyes tight, turning into the pillow.
“Just a little bit of pressure. Okay, done.” The doctor pulled her gown back over her knees and smiled broadly.
“Your husband is still in Austria?”
Louise nodded, wondering why of all times would he ask about Cliff? Perhaps he too was interested in the adventures of her now famous reporter husband who traveled halfway around the globe to bring home world events.
“When is he expected home?” the doctor asked, grinning from ear to ear, seemingly enjoying a moment that Louise and Viola were still unsure of.
“Hopefully by Christmas if Pa says it’s okay,” Louise answered, now more puzzled then ever and forgetting her illness completely. “Can I ask why it matters when Cliff is coming home and why are you smiling?”
“Of course you can ask, but I was going to tell you regardless,” the doctor answered smugly with his arms crossed.
Now Louise was getting mad. Dr. Bellington had known her all her life and had even delivered her when she was born. He looked like the cat that ate the canary and seemed very proud, almost as if he’d played a gag on someone and was taking full credit. Louise sat up straight in her bed and glanced at her mother who just stood there were her mouth open, apparently just as shocked as herself.
“Send Cliff a telegram and let him know that he absolutely must be home for Christmas. You kids are expecting a little one by the end of the year.”
Viola’s hands flew to her mouth in surprise and Louise’s face broke into a smile.
“Congratulations, Louise and you, too, Viola. Looks like you’re going to be a grandma!” the doctor added as he snapped his black bag shut. “I’ll need to see you every month for now, Louise. As the baby gets bigger, I’ll need to see you more and more often.”
Louise nodded as the realization of a baby of her very own began to take root in her mind.
Their baby, hers and Cliff’s! She could hardly believe it. And they had only had one night together. Louise knew it had been special, but she had had no idea how very special it was until now.
Viola walked the doctor outside. Louise threw the covers back and jumped from bed, forgetting how horrible she’d felt. Now it all made sense. She’d been feeling horrible for weeks and usually in the morning, too. She wondered why she couldn’t seem to shake this bug. The bug was really a baby. Her very own baby to hold and love. Would their baby be a boy or a girl? Oh, it didn’t matter! What a wonderful Christmas they would have! If only she could see Cliff’s face the second he hears the good news.
Six
Cliff reached inside the metal box and felt nothing. He peered inside and saw one thin, yellow postcard shoved toward the back. It was a telegram sent from the states typed in all capitals and very serious looking.
APRIL 16, 1938
WE WILL SEE YOU AT CHRISTMAS, DADDY!
LOVE,
LOUISE AND BABY
Cliff stood there with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips, staring at the perfect letters, unable to believe what he’d just read. His face broke into one of those dazzling smiles of his and a single tear passed over his cheeks and into his blond beard. He never bothered to shave now days and his whiskers shielded his face from the bitter winter wind.
He glanced again into his mail box, just in case. He didn’t want to leave any more good news behind. He tucked the tiny post card into his coat pocket and walked toward the little café where he had his morning coffee. He had intended to work on his latest story this morning, but now he would write Louise. Funny thing, how a square of yellow paper can drastically change one’s life. He whistled as he walked past street vendors, tipping his hat and even tossing some coins into an old beggar’s can. He was going to be someone’s father and suddenly all he wanted more than anything in the world was to go home. Bill could send someone else to Austria for all he cared. There wasn’t much to write now anyhow. The Nazi party had shaken things up for a while, since Hitler had become chancellor of Germany. Half the world seemed to have been in such an uproar about him at first and about how he had risen to power so quickly. Nothing more had happened since Hitler had formed an alliance with Austria and Cliff had to settle for a story on the artisans of Austria for now.
He and Louise had had one magnificent night together on their honeymoon. The other two days were entirely too busy, what with all the packing and preparation for his leaving and the long talks each night. Both of them had been exhausted and had fallen asleep in each other’s arms and really, that was what each of them wanted at the time. Cliff suspected she would need time to reflect on their lovemaking, just as he had, or at least he told himself he needed to. He knew Louise would need time to adjust to him as her husband and their first night together had been mind blowing, each of them seeing a completely new and different side of the other. Cliff certainly liked what he saw. Louise was an amazing woman, everything he’d ever dreamed of. She’d make a marvelous mother. He could kick himself for not having at least one more night with her; but really, both of them were tired beyond belief, both mentally and physically. Neither one of them wanted to deal with his leaving and it had been terribly painful at the train station, knowing it would be months before they’d see each other again.
Cliff entered the café and spotted his usual table near the back window. The waitress smiled at him and brought him his usual coffee and Danish pastry, before disappearing behind the counter. Cliff took the telegram out of his coat pocket and stared at it in awe, grinning wide eyed, shaking his head in disbelief. He laid it on the table and stared at it some more as he took a cigarette out of its pack and lit it. He reached for his notebook and grabbed his pencil from his coat pocket as he wrote frantically, the words spilling out onto paper. His pencil barely kept up with his thoughts as he wrote his wife.
April 18, 1938
My Dearest Louise,
I can hardly believe the good news! We’re having a baby, darling! How I wish I were there to hold you and kiss you, my sweet, sweet lover. I miss you so much and even more so now. I just want to come home and wrap you in my arms and take care of you. We need to get a house. You certainly can’t raise our child in your parents’ home and I promise honey, to take care of that as soon as I return.
Nothing is going on here and there’s hardly anything worthwhile to write about, except the usual things one writes about an interesting city. I’m working on a story about the artisans here and did you know that Mozart lived here? I had no idea until some nice people at the embassy told me about it and gave me directions to his former home.
You certainly came up with a good reason to get Bill to send me home didn’t you, sugar? I’m so excited. I’m going to build our baby the most beautiful crib and when he or she is a little older, the best little rocking horse in the world. Did you know I’m an amazing wood worker? See, we don’t know everything about the other do we? Write and tell me something about yourself that you’re certain I don’t know anything about. I can hardly wait to tell Hank. I’ll send him a telegram and Mama, too. Cecile and Mary will be so thrilled. Their very own live doll to play with and love. They will both be wonderful little aunts won’t they? Is Ida as happy as I expect her to be? I know your folks must be proud.
Take care of yourse
lf and our sweet little baby. Tell her or him that daddy will be home soon.
All of my love,
Cliff
~ * ~
Bill entered the deserted newsroom early on Saturday morning and headed for Cliff’s old room. Cliff had insisted on cleaning it up and boxing up all of his personal belongings before leaving for Europe, but Bill had talked him out of it, telling him that he’d take care of it and besides, he had only three days to enjoy Louise on their honeymoon. There wasn’t much in the room anyhow and Bill didn’t mind. Cliff had taken all of his clothes and there was only the matter of his bed and a few odds and ends that Bill could toss into a couple of boxes. He would be moving a new young reporter into the room by Monday and Bill was beginning to think of the small room as a sort of halfway house for gifted young reporters on their way up.
Bill worked quickly, tossing several books and magazines into a box. He filled another box with extra bed linens and towels that Cliff had stacked neatly on a shelf, and then made his way into the bathroom where hardly anything was left at all. A tiny piece of soap and, a single towel lay on the edge of the tub, half a bottle of aftershave and he was done. Cliff cleaned the bathroom regularly and it nearly sparkled still. Now all that was left was to strip the bed and replace it with clean sheets and the room would be ready for its new occupant. Bill folded the top sheet and tossed it in another box before picking up the pillow and stripping it of the pillow case.