by Colbie Kay
“Shh.” I cut her off. “I know what it’s about, Chat. I get that you’re scared, but I’ll show you it’s gonna be okay. This thing between us is special. I mean, come on, all those letters you sent me mean something, because you were gone from here. You didn’t have to write me, but you did every week for three years. Then both of us returning home the exact same day without knowin’…it means something.” I rub my hand up and down her back.
“I didn’t want you to feel so alone in there like I felt out here. You took care of me after he died and I wanted someone to be there for you when you were in prison.” She shrugs her shoulder like it’s no big deal. But it is a big deal because it meant the world to me to receive those letters.
“None of the other girls sent me letters. The whores sure didn’t send me nothin’. It’s because it was you and it meant everything to me readin’ those letters every fuckin’ week.”
“When do you leave?” Chatty asks as her hand runs along the back of my neck.
“In a few days, after everything’s been set up.” Running my thumb across her cheek, I add, “I’ll call you every night and I’ll come back as often as possible. And when I come back, you can give me your answer, if you’re gonna be mine.”
“I hope so.” She looks so sad and it gives me an uneasy feeling.
“Can you do somethin’ for me?”
“Yeah.” Chatty stands and my cock is pulled from her wet heat. Extra wet. Looking down, I realize we didn’t use a condom at the same time Chatty shouts, “Gunner!”
“It’ll be okay.” I stand, zip up my jeans, and rush out of the room, not wanting to have that conversation right now.
When I enter my room again, Chatty stands there with her hands on her hips, “Gunner!”
“We’ll talk about it later.” I put the hot wet washcloth between her thighs and clean her up. “Go change and meet me at my bike in fifteen.” I don’t give her time to argue. I walk to my dresser, pull out a fresh pair of jeans, and begin changing my clothes as she leaves the room.
Fifteen minutes later, I kiss her softly on the lips, hand her a helmet, and then we go shoppin’ for everything I need to change my appearance.
Chapter Five
Gunner and Tink enter the room and take seats at our church table, where Hanger, Demon, and I are already waiting.
“You two ready to do this?” Hanger questions with worry etched in his expression.
“As ready as we’re gonna get.” Gunner taps his knuckles on the table, responding straight-faced.
“Alright. Tink, you are goin’ in to get close to The Four Kings and Deuce. All information you receive you bring to Gunner so he can relay it all back to us. If, at any point, Gunner wants to pull out of the mission, thinks it’s getting too dangerous, or even a bad feeling from either of you, you pull the fuck out. Got it?”
“Got it, Prez.”
“I’m not bullshittin’ on this, Tink. This will decide your fate as a patch-holder or if we throw you out on your ass quicker than flies on shit.”
“I got it!” The prospect’s voice starts to rise as the men stare at one another, neither backin’ down. The kid has heart, but he’s not showin’ a whole lotta brains right now, standin’ up to Hanger like he is. Kid needs to learn you can stand up for yourself but still keep the respect.
Cutting in, I start, “Here’s your fake IDs.” I slide them across the table, and Gunner picks his up first.
“Edward?” Gunner cocks his brow, amusement playing on his face.
“Yeah, Mr. Businessman. You’ll be drivin’ a Prius, too.” Looking towards Tink, I address him. “You’re the younger brother of Edward Johnson. Your name is Alex, and y’all just transferred here because of a promotion Edward took from Washburn University. You are born and raised in Ohio. The Prius has the fake tags already on it—and watch yourselves on the ride there. Thanks to Hacker, Gunner, you’re in the system at Washburn University as the new Physics professor, and Hacker’s already made what is going on known. If someone tries to call and get information on you, they know what to do. Here’s your burner phones. I programmed mine and Hanger’s numbers in, so call with the updates.” Passing the phones over, I let Demon take over.
“Here’s 10 Gs to get you started.” Demon slaps the stack of money into Gunner’s palm before continuing, “You’ll be living outside of Topeka. It’s a suburb called Montera; you have a house set up and someone will be by in the morning for the money due. Here’s the address.” Tink takes the paper with a picture of the house, all of the information about it, and the location. “The utilities are already turned on in Edward’s name. Gunner, there should be no reason for you to even step foot inside the city limits of Topeka. Tink, do not bring anyone home—it could risk the undercover job. You wanna get your dick wet, do it somewhere else.”
“Any questions?” Hanger asks as we look at the two of them.
“Nope, looks like everything’s covered. Let’s do this.” Gunner slams his hands on the table then stands, ready to leave. We all follow suit and head to the bar, where all of our brothers and prospects are standin’, waiting to say their goodbyes.
After Gunner and Tink grab their bags and put their cuts away, we head outside, with Chatty following behind, lookin’ sad. I think it’s time I had a talk with her. “Take care of yourself, prospect,” I say, slappin’ Tink on the back. He nods, then I move to the other side of the car to Gunner. “Lay low, brother.” Throwing my arm ‘round his shoulders, I reassure him, “I’ll watch out for her.”
We both eye Chatty. Her head’s turned and her arms are wrapped around herself. “I know you will. Thanks, Bear.”
“Don’t thank me, just make it back here in one piece when this shit’s done.”
“You got it.” Gunner chuckles, then his attention moves to Chatty. “C’mere, Chat.”
Wanting to give them some time alone, I head inside and wait for her to come back inside. Grabbing a beer from the bar, I sit and take a long pull, swallowing the ice cold liquid.
I think it’s time Chatty knows I made a promise to Ripper before he died. He was my brother—not only inside this club, but out of it too. Even though it wasn’t by blood, he was the closest I had to a family until the Satan’s Sinners. He’s the one that brought me in at sixteen years old. I became the Sergeant at Arms and not for nothin’. It’s true that I’m the muscle of this club, but I also watch everyone and everything that goes on around me. Not too much gets by without me noticing, and I know what’s goin’ on with Gunner and Chatty. They don’t need to tell me, but I see why she’s keeping a distance.
She pushes the door open with more force than needed, keeping her face void of emotion, and goes back to work behind the bar.
“I know what’s goin’ on between you two.” Takin’ a drink from the beer, my eyes stay on Chatty.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” She opens a couple of bottles, handing them off to a couple prospects.
“Do I look fuckin’ stupid? I’m not the eyes of this club for nothin’ and you know it.” My brow cocks and a grin forms.
“It’s nothin’.”
“Damn it, Chatty, it’s not nothin’. And you fuckin’ know that, too.”
“Bear... What do you want me to say?” Chatty stops with one hand on her hip and the other holding tightly to the bar.
“The truth. That you’re fallin’ in love with Gunner.” It’s a simple fuckin’ thing—she just needs to admit it to herself. Truth be told, as much as I loved my dad, I would have wanted my mom to find someone to love again, rather than her self-destruction and ultimately killing herself.
“I’m not.” Tears prickle in her eyes, but Chatty blinks them away before they have a chance to fall.
“You can’t help who you fall for, Chatty. Christ, look at me and Lil’ Mama. I shoulda been done
with her ass when she put me through all the fuckin’ shit she did, but I held on and look at us now.” Shaking my head, I think back to every time she fought against us, but smile at the fact she could never say no to my cock. Returning my attention back to the situation, I take a drink, then tell her, “It’s okay for you to move on.”
“No, it’s not! Not when I should have died right along with Ripper!” Her emotions are evident in the way her shoulders are tense, and her eyes bore into mine with a mix of sadness and anger, her tone growing harsh as she spews her truth.
I don’t know how she didn’t get hit that day as I watched her run out to get to Ripper. Bullets were flying everywhere and she didn’t care, not one bit. I yelled for her to come back inside, but it did no good, and when she made it to Ripper she held him until we had to pull her away.
I stand from the bar stool and lean in close. “But you didn’t. You get a second chance to live your life, but you are too fuckin’ scared to live it.”
“I’m not scared!” Chatty’s fist hits the top of the bar and she moves in closer, so we’re just inches apart. I’m sure if I was on the other side of the bar she would no doubt be standing toe-to-toe with me. “I don’t know how, damn it!”
“You let Ripper go.” I lower my voice—I know it hurts for her to hear those words, just as much as it hurts me to say it. It’s time, though, and she knows it; she just needs a little push in the right direction.
“I can’t!”
“He’s never coming back.”
“You think I don’t fucking know that, Bear?” Chatty questions, furrowing her brows; she then pokes herself in the chest before continuing, “I’m the one who sleeps alone every night. I wake up with nightmares from watching my husband die.”
Walking around the bar, I wrap my arms around Chatty tightly. “It’s gonna be okay. It’s time I told you somethin’, so come with me.” Taking Chatty’s hand in mine, we walk outside and over to the same picnic table I had my last talk with Ripper at. The same talk where I made the promise to him. I take the same seat I did and she sits opposite me—exactly where Ripper sat. I begin telling her what she needs to hear more than anything. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Chapter Six
After all the goodbyes and putting my bags in the backseat, I turn my attention to the most stunning woman I’ve ever met. “C’mere, Chat.” Those blue eyes crash into mine with such sadness mixed with worry, and it breaks my heart knowing I’m the cause. But what could I do? The club needs me. For us to keep our loved ones and ourselves safe, we need to bring down The Four Kings—along with that cunt, Deuce.
In a few short steps, with a quick stride, Chatty’s in my arms, right where she belongs. Her hands lock behind my neck and her eyes rake over my features, like she’s trying to memorize every detail. “Hey, I’m comin’ back. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Her head hangs down as her forehead hits my chest. Running a hand down her long hair, I kiss the back of her head and rest my chin there. My gaze roams over to the clubhouse and, for the first time ever, I wonder if it’s even worth it anymore. Right when I’m finally getting everything I’ve wanted, I have to leave. I’m fallin’ in love with this woman, and now I gotta let her go.
Taking a deep breath, I pull my shit together and cup her cheeks, bringing those beautiful eyes up to meet mine. “You know why I gotta do this. I don’t wanna leave you, but I’d rather get this job done than have you unsafe.”
Narrowing her eyes, she questions harshly, “Keep me safe?” Those daggers she’s shootin’ off could be lethal as she continues. “How can any of this be safe, when people fucking die?” The words spew like venom from her lips.
Rubbing my thumbs across her cheeks, I respond the only way I can. “Chat, c’mon. You’re angry, I get it, but you know why we do what we do. And I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.” Leaning in, I place my lips against her forehead and breathe in her sweet scent. Pulling back a little, I give her a sexy grin, trying to defuse her anger. “I’ll call you. Now fuckin’ kiss me.” My grin makes her lips tilt upwards just a little, but I’ll take it.
Gripping the back of her hair, I hold her in place as my lips descend down on hers. I put everything in the kiss; how much I’ll miss her, my need for her, and my hope that she can stick through the upcoming distance and be here when I return.
Breaking free way too soon, I kiss her forehead once more, then look into her eyes. “I gotta go.” Lacing our fingers together, I kiss both of her hands and reluctantly let her go.
“Be safe, Gunner.” Tears threaten to spill, but she’s a master at holdin’ them back.
“I will, babe. I’ll be callin’ soon.” I slide into the driver’s seat; Tink’s already waitin’ on the passenger side. Chatty closes the door. I give her one last longing glance as I place my hand against the window, splayed out to match hers, and then I start the shitty cage we’re stuck with in who knows how fuckin’ long. We pull out of the gate and head towards the highway.
Turning left inside the city limits of Wichita, I drive a few blocks before taking a right. “Where we goin’?” Tink asks from the passenger seat.
“I gotta see someone before we leave.” I pull into the driveway of the small brown two-bedroom house. Cutting the engine, I turn to Tink. “C’mon, she’ll kick my ass if I don’t invite you in.”
Knocking on the front door, I wait for her to answer, and when she does, her smile is heartwarming and I’m sure mine matches hers. “Caide!” She pulls me in for a tight hug.
“Hey, Mom.” I hug her just as tight. Pulling back slightly, I introduce her to Tink. She pulls him in much like she did me. I love my mom so fuckin’ much. She is a beautiful woman; tall, slender, with long flowing hair the same blonde as mine. Even though she doesn’t come around the club anymore, not since my dad got killed, she still knows how shit is. And because she was his Ol’ Lady, she knows what we do, why we do it, and never questions. She’s the one person who has always been there for me no matter what, and there is nothing I could do that would ever change that. Not even prison.
“Come on in.” We follow her through the space until we come to the kitchen. Tink and I sit while she pulls out a pitcher of her famous sweet tea. Grabbing three glasses out of the cabinet, she pours each of us a glass, then joins us at the table. “So what brings you by?” Her eyes snap to me, no doubt knowing something is up for no other reason than me bringing Tink to see her.
“We got some club business outside of town to take care of, so I wanted to let you know I’ll be gone for a bit.”
“Figured as much.” She fakes a smile, her gaze going to Tink. She says, “I swear, I shoulda had more than one kid. Maybe a girl wouldn’t have me worrying so much. She would have been like me.” My mom points to herself and smiles for real this time, the aging lines appearing in the corners of her eyes.
“Umm.” Tink tries thinking of somethin’ to say, but comes up empty.
“I don’t know, Mom. The stories Dad told me about you…maybe she would’ve been just as wild.” We both laugh.
“You got me there. Just be careful, Caide. I love you—check in when you can.” She takes my hand in hers, giving mine a reassuring squeeze.
“I love you, too. How’s Mark?”
“He’s good. He works so much, too much, at that new firm.” Mom started dating Mark after I got locked up. He’s some kind of business lawyer, which is the complete opposite of my dad, but Mark loves my mom, and she’s happy, so that’s all I can ask for. He wanted her to move in with him, but she told him no because she wouldn’t give up my childhood home and the reminder of the life she had built with my dad. So, Mark moved in with her, though he’s never tried to take my dad’s place. He’s a little uptight for my taste, but a good guy all the same.
“I’m glad you’re happy.”
Her eyes mist and a small smile forms. Still holding my hand in hers, she tells me, “Thank you! Your dad would be so proud of you. You’re just like him.” Love shines in her eyes. I know she will always hold a place in her heart for him, but she is moving on with her life—I understand it and want her to. My dad would too. Maybe that’s why I understand with Chatty.
Mom wipes her eyes, chuckles a little, then turns her attention to Tink. “Those boys aren’t being too hard on you, are they?”
Tink smiles. “No, Ma’am.”
“Oh, Lord! Do not make me feel older than I am. Call me Josie. Try and keep out of trouble while you’re gone, and please be safe.”
“We will, Mom.” I smile, but I think we are all a little worried about what could happen.
“How’s it going with Chatty?” I’ve talked to my mom about the situation, hoping she could give me some insight on how to handle Chatty.
“Some progress, but she’s difficult. Her head and heart are battling against each other, so I just gotta stay patient until she’s ready.” Fuck, I miss her already.
“Maybe I’ll make a trip over to the club and talk to her. I’ve always liked Chatty; maybe I can help, since I know what she’s going through.”
“No need to do that, Mom.” I chuckle at her eagerness. “Alright, we gotta get goin’ so we can make it before dark.” We stand from the table and I pull her in for another hug. “Love you—I’ll be in touch.”
“I love you too, Caide. Nice meetin’ you, Tink.”
“Nice to meet you too, Josie.”
Mom walks us out. We get back in the Prius and hit the road once again.
Two hours later, we make it to Montera safely, but without much scenery, making the ride long. I’ve realized that Tink is a quiet one; most people think they have to fill the silence with some bullshit small talk, but he hasn’t said a word. All he’s done is bobbed his head to the music and sang along. And the most interesting shit I’ve learned on this trip is that he has a damn good voice.