by Colbie Kay
“Let me check.”
Sierra came back with no luck, but within the next hour, the door opens and in walks a doctor I didn’t see before. “Family of Mr. Williams?”
“Yes. I’m his mother.” Josie stands from the chair she was sitting in and walks to the doctor. “Wait.” She turns, waving me over.
Standing there, dread fills me as I wait for him to speak. Josie and I cling to each other like we are each other’s life preserver. “Hello, I am Dr. Guthrie.” He shakes our hands before adding, “The surgery went well, and he is in recovery.”
“Oh, thank God!” I say as Josie sags against me; we both burst into tears.
The doctor continues, “We have managed to stop the internal bleeding and got the bullets out. He was shot three times, and while none hit vital organs, one did hit his spine in the thoracolumbar region.”
“What exactly does that mean? Is he going to be paralyzed?” I question, wanting to know exactly what kind of recovery Gunner is looking at.
“We won’t know for sure until he wakes up, and then we can see if he has any feeling in his legs. I want you to understand that if he doesn’t, it is going to be a long process to recovery, if he fully recovers. He will have to stay in the hospital for a few weeks for rehabilitation, and continue it after he goes home. I want you to be prepared—people who suffer from this kind of injury…only a fourth are able to ambulate after a year. But please keep in mind that he is lucky to be alive.”
“Thank you!” Josie says, then asks, “When can we see him?”
“He will be in ICU, so only two visitors at a time, but you can start going up as soon as he is out of recovery. I’ll have the nurse come in and show you to his room.” Josie and I decide to wait until last to see Gunner, since neither of us will be leaving his side.
I don’t know what to expect walking into his room, but I was nervous. As Josie opens the door, she takes my hand in hers. We walk into the dimly lit room and over to his bed. It’s nothing like I pictured in my head; Gunner looks like he’s sleeping peacefully, and the only machine he’s hooked to is the one that checks his vitals. He still has the IV with fluids, and he has a catheter bag hanging on the lower part of his bed.
We both grab a chair; I sit on one side while Josie sits on the opposite side. We both take one of his hands and wait for him to wake up.
Chapter Twelve
Blinking my eyes a few times does no good in the darkness. Where the hell am I? Stretching my arms out in front of me, I feel around for anything that I may run into if I try walking. “Hello?” My voice echoes on for what seems like miles.
Taking a few steps in front of me, the darkness becomes a hallway lined with fluorescent lighting, where one lights up, followed by the next, and so on until the whole aisle is lit up. I rub my eyes and try to focus my vision to the end of the hall. Someone is standing there. “Hello?” I yell out again, but they don’t respond.
Jogging down the long hallway, I get closer to the person so I can see who it is. “Ripper?” I question; my eyes have to be deceiving me.
“Hey, brother.” Ripper smiles.
“Where am I? Did I fuckin’ die? Shit, can I say fuck here?” I look around, but nothing is here, except for us and the creepy-as-fuck hallway that has no way in or out. It’s like a real bad horror movie.
Ripper’s laugh rings loudly. “No, you didn’t die. You’re more in an in-between place. On the other side of that wall—” Ripper points behind him “—is where I’m headed. It’s happy there, or so I’ve been told. I came to talk with you.”
“About Chatty?” I ask nervously.
“Yes, about my wife.” Ripper grins playfully.
“Low blow, brother.” I return a grin of my own. It’s so good to see him again, even under these less-than-optimal circumstances.
“I’ve been watching down on y’all and I have to say, Gunner, if I wasn’t heading to this happy place, I’d knock your fuckin’ teeth out for lookin’ at her when I was alive. You played that slick, brother, I never caught on that you wanted my wife.” His devilish smile appears before he continues. “But you’re a good man, Gunner, and I know you will take good care of her. You make her happy, and that’s all I ever wanted for Chatty. I watch her, and I know she’s had a hard time, but she loves you and I’m glad it’s you that she wants to be with. So I’ll suck it up and say you have my permission to be with my wife.” Ripper laughs and walks closer to me. “I love you, brother.” He grips my shoulder, squeezing just like he used to, but I pull him in for a hug.
“I love you too, brother. We miss you down there.”
“It’s time for me to go.” He looks behind him; he must see something that I can’t, because without another word, he starts walking, then vanishes before my eyes. Someone else has taken his place.
“Dad.”
“Hi, son.” Pride shines in his eyes. “I want you to know that I love you and I am so proud of you. I’m happy your mom has moved on—I wanted her to find love again. I’m here to tell you how to go back.”
“Thanks, Dad, and I love you, too. I will tell her if I remember any of this.” I don’t remember the last time I cried or even shed a tear, but I feel the wetness coating my cheeks. Lifting my hand, I swipe away the tears. Hearing those words—I am so proud of you.—meant the world to me. I longed to hear them when he was alive.
“You need to listen closely, and when you hear her voice, walk towards it. The walls will start to open, like a maze, but when you get to the end there will be a light—go through it and don’t be scared, son. Once you are through the light, you will be back with the one you love. She will guide you back.”
Memorizing every word he spoke, I hug him tightly before he disappears in my arms. The lights go out once again, and I’m stuck in the darkness. I wait until I hear her sweet voice.
Chapter Thirteen
It’s been twenty-four hours since Gunner had surgery; he has yet to wake up. The nurse comes in every couple of hours throughout the night to check his vitals, letting us know that they are strong and that he is doing well. The doctor came in this morning to check on him also, explaining that Gunner will wake when he is ready, that his body is in exhaustion from the trauma, surgery, and his mind might be trying to block what we experienced.
Now, as early evening comes, we continue to hold his hands and talk to him, even though we are not sure if he can hear us. “Gunner, baby, you gotta open your eyes. Let me see those blues, I need to see those blue eyes of yours,” I beg. His finger twitches against my palm and my heart begins to beat faster. “Josie, he just moved his finger.”
“Are you sure?” She sits up, closer to the bed.
“Come on, baby, do it again.” He does. I laugh with excitement and tears shine in my eyes as I meet the wide eyes of his mom. Nodding my head, I tell her, “He’s waking up!”
Her shimmering eyes match my own as we encourage Gunner to keep coming back to us. It takes several minutes, but finally his eyes flutter open, before slamming shut again. “The light,” he rasps out.
Letting go of his hand, I hurry over and shut off the overhead light, only leaving on the one above his bed, and only because that one is dim. Taking his hand in mine once again, I thread my fingers through his. “The light’s off now.”
Slowly, Gunner opens his eyes. “Where am I?”
“In the hospital.” My brow rises as I ask, “Do you remember what happened?” I reach over to grab the mug the nurse filled with ice water. “Take small sips.” Holding the mug in one hand, I reach behind Gunner’s head, tilting it up a little. After a few drinks, I pull it away and lay his head back onto the pillow.
“I’m going to go get the doctor,” Josie announces as she gets up and leaves the room.
“No.” Gunner’s gaze lands on me, confusion deep in their depths.
“You were shot.” My eyes become misty as I remember Gunner throwing himself on top of me. He risked his life for mine. His eyes screw shut as he tries to remember.
“We were in the storm?” I nod. “I was driving and someone was following us.” He looks up at the ceiling. “I remember the gunfire, wanting to keep you safe, and then it’s blank.”
“Yeah, you lost consciousness.”
“Mr. Williams. It’s good to see you awake.” Doctor Guthrie’s smile shines as he enters the room with Josie. “You’ve had quite the ordeal in the last twenty-four hours. I am going to perform a test to check movement in your feet and legs.”
Gunner nods, but his brows are pulled down tightly in confusion. The doctor lifts the blanket and sheet, moving them up to Gunner’s knees. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a tool that looks like a spiky wheel with a handle. “Can you move your toes for me?”
Gripping Gunner’s hand, I pray for some movement.
“Do you see them moving?” Gunner questions, a little breathless from the simple task.
“Tell me…can you feel this?” Doctor Guthrie asks while moving the tool along the bottom of Gunner’s feet.
“I don’t feel anything.”
“How about this?” The doctor’s eyes cut to Gunner as he moves the tool along his ankle, then calf.
“No.”
“Tell me when you start feeling something.” When he gets to the knee, he uncovers one of Gunner’s legs completely. My heart is breaking all the while he moves up his leg. Gunner’s eyes stay glued to that tool.
Over his thigh—still nothing.
When the doctor gets to Gunner’s hip, finally there is something. “I can feel that. It’s a poking feeling.” He moves to the other foot and it’s the same, no feeling until his hip.
“Very good.” Doctor Guthrie stops and puts the tool back in his pocket.
“What does that mean?” Gunner questions; he doesn’t know yet about how badly he was injured.
“Mr. Williams, you had to be taken into surgery yesterday because of the three gunshot wounds you suffered from. When we were performing the operation we discovered that one of those bullets had hit your spinal cord in the thoracolumbar region.”
“You tellin’ me I got a spinal cord injury?” Gunner’s expression is void, just blank.
“Yes.”
“And now, since I couldn’t feel shit below my hip, you tellin’ me I’m fuckin paralyzed?”
“There is a possibility that you could walk again, but it will be a long process. I’m sorry, Mr. Williams.” Gunner nods with no reply, and he turns his head to look out the window. Josie and I stare at each other; we are at a loss as to what to do for him.
“Thank you,” Josie tells the doctor with a sigh, and he quietly leaves us alone with Gunner.
“Gunner…” I start, but I’m cut off when his head snaps in my direction. Anger radiates off of him in waves.
“Get out.” Taken aback, my mouth hangs open, and tears spring in my eyes.
“Gunner…” I try again.
“I said get out! Both of you, fuckin’ leave! Now!” he yells at us. I’ve never seen him so angry. Feeling my heart drop, we stand and leave the room.
Josie hugs me outside the door while I quietly sob. “He will be okay. That was a lot of bad news for him and we need to give him some time to process it all.”
“It’s my fault,” I choke out.
“No, honey, it wasn’t.”
“Yes it was; if Gunner didn’t have to come looking for me, then none of this would have happened.”
“Listen to me.” Josie takes my cheeks in her hands, making my watery eyes meet hers. “In the life of the club, it will happen no matter when or where. If someone was coming after him, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Now we just have to be here for him and help him get through this; make him understand that it will be okay—but he has a long journey ahead of him. We need to help him see that we will be by his side every step of the way. None of this was your fault.”
Nodding, I try for a smile. “Thank you, Josie.”
“You’re welcome. Now, go get some rest.” She kisses my cheek, we say our goodbyes, and I head back to the compound to let everyone know Gunner is awake.
Chapter Fourteen
My white-knuckled grip holds tightly to the steering wheel of the truck, my head hanging low; my woman’s hand lies on the back of my cut. Over and over, I see Gunner lying in that fuckin’ cage, bleeding out of the white dress shirt he was wearing. “Fuck!” I yell, letting one hand go on the steering wheel, I make a fist, and punch the side of my door repeatedly.
“I almost fuckin’ lost him, could’a died right there, right on top of Chatty, just tryin’ to protect her from the shit they was havin’ to face.” I’m seething with anger and real fuckin’ close to tears at the thought of losin’ my best fuckin’ friend.
“I know, Hanger, but he’s alive. Gunner is a fighter.”
My watery eyes meet my wife’s. “He’s my best fuckin’ friend, and now he may not ever fuckin’ walk again. How’s he gonna deal with that shit?”
“If he doesn’t, then we will be there for him. Help him.” Crazy Girl gives me a comforting smile, but the concern is clear as day in my woman’s eyes. She’s being strong, just like she always has.
“I fuckin’ love you.” Running my hand across the flesh of her cheek, I cup it in my palm.
“I fuckin’ love you too.” Her full smile still makes my heart beat faster every single time; even after the years we’ve been together, she still makes me fall more in love with her every day. Leaning down, my lips press against hers in a chaste kiss.
Starting the truck, I pull out of the hospital parking lot and head to the compound.
Busting through the clubhouse doors, I yell out, “Church, now!” All of my brothers follow, one by one. We take our usual seats. “Bear, you get a hold of Tink?”
“He’s not answering.”
“Fuck! He’s probably still in undercover. Keep tryin’.”
“Got it.” Bear pulls his phone out, trying again. Still no luck, so I move on to the matter at hand.
“Hacker, you got the map of the hangout?”
“Sure do. Got it in my room.”
“Good. We’re goin’ in tonight. I want fuckin’ bloodshed, and we don’t leave until every single one of those dirty cunts are dead. Do you understand?” The resounding ayes sound around the room. “Make that place look like a fuckin’ slaughterhouse. They don’t know who they fucked with, but we’re about to show them.” My voice rises as I say, “They’re meetin’ the Satan’s Sinners tonight.” Feet stomp on the floor, fists pound on the church table. “They started a motherfucking war by comin’ after one of ours, and now we finish it. Bam and Hunter, get to the storage shed and get all the guns possible with enough ammo. Hacker, get that map and we’ll meet back here in an hour, ready to ride out.”
Slamming the gavel down, I thunder my way out of the room and head to the bar. The storm outside has finally passed, but another one is brewing. Hell is going to come down on The Four Kings and Deuce tonight.
*****
I go to Ava and Harper’s room first. Standing in the door leaned against the frame with my arms folded, I watch my girls sleep so innocently. They have no worries, no burdens, no struggles. Walking in, I ease down on the side of Ava’s bed, gently as to not wake her. Running my hand over her dark hair, I remember the first time I held her in my arms. That first moment of seeing her and Harper changed my life. Their mom started the change when she came into my life, bloody and beaten, but my babies completed that change.
This is why I do what I do. Why I kill, why I feel no regret on taking a life that deserves it—because if anyone tried to hurt my family, I will make them pay. I will
destroy them, and I will wear their blood with no remorse. Just like I’m about to do tonight, because someone thought trying to take the life of my best friend was a good idea. Kissing Ava on the top of her head, I whisper how much I love her, then move over to Harper’s bed. I repeat the same words, kissing her head and going back in time to the day my daughters were born.
After I walk out of their room, I move to the one right next to theirs. My boy. Damien lies sleeping in his crib with that same innocence as his sisters. While Ava and Harper look exactly like Crazy Girl—except for their hair, which is the same dark color as mine—Damien is the spitting image of me. Right down to his hazel eyes. Doing the same with him as I did the girls, I walk out of his room and head into mine.
Crazy Girl sits up against the headboard, her tablet in hand and her nose stuck in one of those porn books she loves. Smiling, I get closer to the bed and crawl up her body, making her put that damn tablet down. Her hands cup my cheeks and her fingers run over my stubble as her gaze stares into mine. “I love you,” I say. Smiling, I still wonder to this day how I got so fuckin’ lucky to get her.
“I love you too. Be safe, Hanger.” I don’t discuss club business with her, but my Ol’ Lady ain’t stupid. She knows I’m getting’ revenge for Gunner.
“Always.” Placing my lips against hers, my tongue slips between her slightly parted lips. She opens willingly, letting my tongue slide against hers. Crazy Girl’s arms wrap around my neck and I sit back on my knees, bringing her with me. Running my hands up and down her sides, I know I have to stop. Pushing her back a little, our mouths lose the connection and I fuckin’ hate it, but it’s time for me to go. “I gotta go, babe.”
A tear falls onto her cheek, and I wipe it away with my thumb as she nods. “I know. I love you so much.”