“You knew, had you discussed this plan with me, I would have forbidden it.”
Just hearing the word forbidden made her see red. She tried to tell herself he came from a different time, when men ruled women. An entirely different culture. She even reminded herself he was a completely different species and their society, out of necessity, was different, but the fact remained, they were in a mess and needed all hands on deck.
“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do.”
Something very dangerous flickered in his eyes. He might be near the brink of death, but he was an extremely powerful being. “I have every right as your lifemate.” Suddenly he sounded calm, too calm.
“We aren’t lifemates yet,” she snapped, her temper getting the best of her in spite of her desire to be reasonable and calm with him. She was shaking, sick to her stomach and still upset over having set the clone of her brother on fire. Seeing so much blood had brought the images of her family far too close. Knowing a battle raged just a few yards from her with hideous, vile creatures wanting to kill them all in a very brutal way had her shaken.
“We are lifemates,” he assured in a very low voice. “Apparently, you do not feel like my lifemate, although you are bound to me soul to soul and you have been in my mind for several risings. That must not be enough.”
Her heart gave a little leap. “It isn’t that. I’m human, Andor. First, you didn’t go near humans for all those years and then you locked yourself away in a monastery. Time marched on, and with it, women changed.”
“A lifemate is still the same.”
“You don’t know that. How would you know that?”
“You do what it takes to make me happy, and I do the same for you.”
“Sometimes, Andor, it’s about keeping someone safe. I’m alive. So are you. We needed to get rid of the vampires and to do that, we had to draw out the master vampire.”
“It was too much for three of my brethren to clone you when Karcsi managed to conjure up an illusion of your brother? They thought nothing of risking you. I assure you, Lorraine, they would never risk their own lifemates.”
“We did what we thought was right. They were weak. There was no one in the vicinity to give blood. They wanted to do something like that, but I could tell they were worried about the vampire somehow knowing. I made the decision I thought was right.”
“If you thought it was right, you would have talked it over with me,” Andor said. His gaze never left her face.
He looked too calm. Andor was almost always calm, but now, with all signs of his temper gone, she was very concerned. She opened her mouth to try to get him to understand her reasoning, even though she knew he wouldn’t accept her explanation.
“Te avio päläfertiilam.” She had learned enough of the language just by being in his mind, but he interpreted for her anyway. “You are my lifemate.”
“I’m working on wrapping my head around that.” She tried to be conciliatory.
“Éntölam kuulua, avio päläfertiilam. I claim you as my lifemate.”
The moment he uttered the words, something inside her responded. She actually felt ties threading from Andor to her. She held up her hand. “Wait. Andor, wait.”
He ignored her. “Ted kuuluak, kacad, kojed. I belong to you. Élidamet andam. I offer my life for you.”
Lorraine could barely breathe. “I know you’re upset with me, but we have to talk about this. Andor, we have to discuss it.”
“In the way that you discussed your decisions with me?” Those indigo-colored eyes never left her face.
“I know, I do. I get your point. It’s just that what you’re doing feels permanent. You’re saying vows, right?”
He nodded slowly. “You are correct. The ritual binding words are imprinted on the males of our species before we are born. They only work with the woman who is a true lifemate. You are uncertain if you are my lifemate, so we are testing that theory.” His eyes didn’t so much as blink, and he reminded her of a predator. “Pesämet andam. I give you my protection. Uskolfertiilamet andam. I give you my allegiance.”
“Stop it. I mean it. You can’t do this because you’re upset with me. This is something that could potentially affect both of us for the rest of our lives.”
“You getting killed would not have done that? Do you know what happens when a male Carpathian loses his lifemate? When you were in my mind, or sharing the mind of males who are not your lifemate, did you find out that very important piece of information?”
She shook her head, suddenly very afraid of what he might tell her. To be strictly fair, Andor wasn’t the kind of man who would be angry because she had done something she believed was right. He would be upset, but not angry. Had she missed an important piece of information that might have affected her decision?
“The male will go into what is known as a thrall. In other words, he is insane. During those few moments after her death he must choose to suicide, or during the thrall, he will become vampire. I am an ancient. I am extremely powerful. Those who hunt me must be either my brethren, which will send them closer to their destruction, or most likely I will kill many Carpathian hunters and an unknown number of humans. All because you chose to do something without first discussing it with me.”
Okay. None of that sounded good. No one had volunteered that information to her. Had she had that, perhaps she would have made different choices, but truthfully, she thought a lifemate was a wife to their people. Maybe much more important since they had to search centuries for her, but still . . . To become vampire because they lost her seemed extreme.
“Sívamet andam. I give you my heart. Sielamet andam. I give you my soul. Ainamet andam. I give you my body. Sívamet kuuluak kaik että a ted. I take into my keeping the same that is yours.”
“You’re making me crazy,” she objected. “Just give me a few minutes to think about this. I need you to better explain what a lifemate is.”
“I did explain it to you.”
“Well, I didn’t understand exactly. Clearly, it is far different than a human finding a life partner. Andor. You can’t say ritual words that might tie us together . . .” She knew the moment she said “might” she’d made another mistake. It was just that she was very nervous. With every word he spoke, and each was very beautiful, she felt those ties binding them together, as if their souls really had been one, torn apart, and now was being cemented back together.
“Ainaak olenszal sívambin. Your life will be cherished by me for all time. Te élidet ainaak pide minan. Your life will be placed above mine for all time.”
“I was in your mind, Andor, but I was specifically looking for battles to better learn how to protect you while you were so horribly wounded. When the others came, I asked them for help as well. When it became apparent that you were so far gone you were in a coma and Gary couldn’t bring you back, they explained that my soul was bound to yours and they could use that tie between us, to find you. I didn’t know enough about your species to know what I was doing, but I did know I had to find a way to save you.”
“You think you did so because you wanted to save someone after what happened to your family, but if you look deep down, Lorraine, you will see that it was far more than that.”
He didn’t need to tell her that. She knew. There was a huge pull between them. “I’m sorry I didn’t have all the necessary information to make good decisions.”
“Had you turned to your lifemate, instead of to others who are not capable of feeling emotion, you would have been told all the facts. Te avio päläfertiilam. You are my lifemate. Ainaak sívamet jutta oleny. You are bound to me for all eternity. Ainaak terád vigyázak. You are always in my care.”
Whatever he did was irrevocable. She knew it immediately, the moment that last word was uttered. The power of those ritual words was consummate. She scooted away from him. “I think we just had our first real fight.
”
“There is no need of another.”
“Maybe you don’t think so, but this world of yours is overwhelming as it is, Andor. You can’t take away my free will like that. I might have come to you because I wanted to—now I’m rethinking everything I thought I knew about you.” She stared out toward the forest. Lightning forked the sky, long ribbons of sizzling white-hot energy. She watched as Ferro controlled it, slamming it at something gruesome on the ground.
She turned her head to look over her shoulder at Andor. “What else?”
“I do not understand.”
“What else haven’t I been told that is important? For instance, you mentioned children, but you’re Carpathian and I’m human. How does that affect the child?”
“You must become Carpathian.”
She stared at him for a very long time, unable to fully process his quiet, utterly calm statement. She blinked as if that would change everything. Instead, it brought him more fully into focus so that she noted the lines so deep in his face. A part of her protested that, was alarmed. Nothing could happen to him. “I’m sorry?” she said, unable to believe she’d heard him correctly.
“You must become Carpathian.”
“How is that possible?” She lifted one eyebrow, but regarded him steadily. Her heart was in her throat. Nothing made sense to her, not the way she was feeling about him. Not the way she needed to smooth those lines from his face, or the worry from his eyes. She wanted to tell him it didn’t matter what she had to do to make him happy, she’d do it; but she wasn’t that woman. She would never be that woman. She had to think things through before she impulsively made decisions. And that meant she needed all the facts.
“Come here.”
It wasn’t an order. Andor said it softly. An entreaty, because he couldn’t move and she could. Lorraine took one more look outside at the night that was now lit up with flames and lightning. Thunder rolled. She heard it, but didn’t know if the sound was her blood roaring in her ears from sheer fear or if there really was thunder to accompany those long sizzling strands of lightning whipping across the sky in dazzling displays.
“You’re going to tell me something I don’t like.” But she went to him. It was almost a compulsion because she couldn’t stand those lines of pain and weariness carved deep on his face. They had all been so determined to save him, and no one, least of all her, had thought of the cost to him. She smoothed her hand over his face, down his jaw. Just touching him made her feel better.
“It depends, sívamet. Do you understand what it means to be a lifemate with the way I explained it? My soul was split in half at birth. Each person contains both dark and light. The darkness went into me, the light into you. Now that we are back together, I feel that light. I see in color. I feel emotion. You are an unbelievable miracle to me. Without you, I would go back to darkness. The loss of emotion and returning to that gray void would most likely send me over the edge. You’ve seen those soulless creatures. You know how vile and horrific they are. I have spent my life hunting them. To lose my honor, to become the thing I detest the most, at the end of my long life, after honor was everything to me, would be the worst.”
Lorraine nodded. She understood what he was saying. She felt his sincerity and she understood. He had lived a lifetime with only his honor to sustain him. She’d been in his mind and had seen that. Honor was everything to him—and to his brethren.
“It is an impossibility for me to become human, Lorraine, or I would do so if that was what you wished. I could age with you and choose death when you die, at least there have been rumors that it is possible. There is still the risk of the thrall . . .”
“Andor, tell me what it takes to become Carpathian.”
“Three full blood exchanges. We have not even had one. I have taken your blood, but you have yet to take mine. To bind you, soul to soul, Ferro, Gary and Sandu must have exchanged blood with you, yet you have not turned.”
She tried to keep her heart rate under control when it threatened to beat wildly. “Three blood exchanges? What does that mean?”
He frowned and reached for her hand. “They didn’t take your blood?”
“Yes. Like you did.” What was he talking about, an exchange? How could she possibly take his blood? Did he mean a transfusion? She didn’t have teeth like his. She didn’t understand why she suddenly was afraid, but she was.
Andor brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss into the center of her palm. “They took your blood from your wrist?” He pressed his lips over her wrist, right over her frantically beating pulse. She should have known she couldn’t hide her fear from him. He would hear the crazy, alarmed beat of her heart and he’d feel it beneath his mouth and the slide of his tongue that felt too much like seduction.
“Andor,” she cautioned uneasily. “You aren’t supposed to move at all, not even your arms. Gary didn’t want you out from under the soil.”
“Answer me, csecsemõ, was the blood taken from your wrist?”
She nodded. He was dangerous to the woman in her. She hadn’t ever been that attracted to a man, mostly because she was training and going to school, both of which she took very seriously. Now, with this man, completely covered in dirt right up to his neck, wounded, holes in his chest and belly, she was so attracted she wanted to kiss him. It didn’t matter if a war raged outside. It didn’t matter that he was Carpathian and she was human or that he had come from another time when women were told what to do and they obeyed. She was so far from that kind of woman it was frightening, yet she wanted to know the way he tasted.
His mouth moved up the inside of her arm. Tiny kisses. Each one made her sex flutter and her stomach do slow somersaults. His teeth scraped occasionally along her skin, and that felt so erotic it was scary.
“I have tied us together,” he murmured, lifting his head, but retaining possession of her arm. His eyes met hers. “The three of them are bound to us, soul to soul. To both of us. Can you feel them? Feel their injuries? Reach out to one of them now, Lorraine. Let your mind expand.”
She had practiced telepathy for years and had gotten stronger the more she’d worked at it. She’d often caught the thoughts of others as she’d passed them in the hallways at college. In a way, it was different than what he was asking her to do. She wasn’t certain why he wanted her to reach out to feel the others, but she would if he needed that.
Lorraine closed her eyes and leaned into Andor automatically, as if she’d been relying on him for a hundred years. His fingers moved on her inner wrist, tracing little circles while his eyes remained steady on her face. She could feel his stare, it was that intense. She reached for Ferro because he had fought the worst of the creatures. She used the lightest of touches and gasped when she felt his pain. So much. His wounds were severe. Her eyes snapped open.
“He does not feel it, Lorraine, only you do. I can stop pain. Gary can. Sandu will not feel it. Pain is a liability to us when we fight. We sacrifice our bodies in order to get to the prize—the vampire’s dead heart. You are tied to each of us now, as they are tied to us. You are a light for them, not in the way you are for me, but they feel it and it lightens their burdens. It does not, however, lighten yours. If it became too much, you would be unable to block it out.”
“Why am I not feeling your pain? You have to feel it, Andor, I know you do.”
“I am your lifemate. I keep you from feeling what is painful to me.”
“You’re expending energy, which Gary said was dangerous to you.”
“He does not have a lifemate.”
“If they took my blood and somehow put their blood in me, if there really were these exchanges, why am I not Carpathian?”
“There must be a certain volume of blood exchanged. Gary would know this, and he most likely cautioned the others against taking or giving too much.”
“So, you have to give me so much of your blood in exchange
for mine three times.”
He nodded. “That is correct.”
His fingers were moving up and down her arm, featherlight. It felt intimate and right. She couldn’t imagine being without him, but she didn’t quite understand the full ramifications of having three blood exchanges.
“I don’t have your teeth.”
“I would aid you. Distance you so you are able to take my blood and it would feel . . . erotic.”
Just his fingers felt erotic. His lips on her skin. “Then what would happen?”
“Your human body would die and you would be reborn Carpathian.”
7
Andor regarded his brethren as they joined Lorraine and him. Each man had wounds, and blood dripped steadily. He waved his hand toward them. “Lorraine has difficulty with blood.”
Ferro sank onto the ground. “Forgive me, sisarke, I should have cleaned up before joining you.”
Lorraine pressed three fingers to her lips and nodded, avoiding looking at the warriors crowding close. Even with Andor waving his hand to create a breeze, the scent of blood was very strong.
“We destroyed one master vampire. I tried to pull information from Karcsi’s mind before I slew him,” Ferro said, “but he was resistant. Just before he succumbed, I saw someone staring at me through his eyes.” He leaned closer to Andor. “I believe Sergey was there for a moment, watching us. That could mean that he has been spying this entire time, using anything from the birds to deer to his lesser pawns.”
Andor tightened his hold on Lorraine. He could tell he had shocked her by revealing that her human body would have to die prior to her becoming Carpathian. Now she had a look of horror on her face, and a shiver had gone down her spine.
“He can do that?” Steadfastly, she kept her gaze fixed on Andor’s face, not looking at the warriors with various degrees of vicious wounds.
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