Charlotte’s eyebrow shot up. “Knights’ round table meeting?” She echoed.
“Doesn’t that big table remind you of the knights and their round table? Every book I’ve read, or movie I saw, showed a big round table.”
The three other women laughed. “I guess you’re right,” Blaze said. “I’ve actually called Maksim my knight, but he says if he is one, I have to call him the dark knight.”
“I think that’s a movie,” Lorraine pointed out.
“Absolutely,” Emeline said. “And one of my favorites.”
“I’ll have to tell Maksim,” Blaze said, and another round of laughter went up.
Andor. Thank you for this. I haven’t been able to sit around with girlfriends and just talk nonsense and laugh, not since Theodore murdered my family. I didn’t think I could ever have this again. You gave it to me, though, and I really appreciate it.
Lorraine reached out to her lifemate, needing him to know what he’d done for her. What he’d given her. It was big. Enormous. Something beyond any price. She was beginning to understand the value system in the Carpathian world, and it had little to do with money or what they had. It was what they gave to one another.
I did nothing to give you such a gift. The lifemates of my friends are good women. They are eager to accept you into our world.
She felt the wash of love from him, brushing caresses in her mind. Again, the burn of tears was close, right behind her eyes, but she refused to shed them. She was happy. She enjoyed the sound of the other women teasing one another.
Charlotte was the funniest and the most outgoing. She put Lorraine at ease immediately. Emeline was the sweetest. Lorraine wasn’t certain she had a mean bone in her body. Blaze was the most like her, a bit of a warrior woman.
“Amelia is quite taken with you, Lorraine,” Charlotte said. “She told me you were talking together earlier. She wants self-defense lessons, but more, I would like you to really reach out to her and befriend her. She’s only fifteen. She recently had her birthday. Still a child, but she’s had to become an adult so fast. The past few weeks have been especially hard on her. It would be a big favor to all of us if you could become her friend and get her talking to you.”
“She’s tried so hard with everyone,” Blaze said. “She loves Emeline, and we’re so lucky she’ll actually open up to Emme, but she needs to feel that all of us are here for her and that she has a much larger family. I’m hoping she looks at me like an aunt and that she’ll come to view you the same way.”
Charlotte nodded. “They all need to feel as if we’re a family, especially Amelia. She’s so lost, and sometimes I’m afraid for her.”
Emeline nodded, leaning into her hand so she could look Lorraine in the eyes. “Amelia is a sweet girl. This has all taken its toll on her, but she’ll come back. Give her time.”
Lorraine knew there was a story there, but she wanted Amelia to tell her that story. “I would be more than happy to have another friend. Amelia seems like a wonderful girl. I really do believe in women learning to defend themselves. As for fighting vampires, which I believe is important to learn, all of my experience comes from picking the information out of Andor’s and the others’ heads.”
“Wait.” Blaze held up her hand. “What do you mean by that?”
“If you want to know how to fight a vampire, surely that information is in Maksim’s brain. You just have to access it.”
“You said ‘others,’” Charlotte corrected. “As in more than Andor.”
She nodded. “I’ve accessed Sandu, Ferro and Gary’s experiences, along with Andor’s. I think I’m fairly well-rounded when it comes to knowing battle techniques. I’ve been sorting through the information in order to see what specifically will work for women.”
“How in the world can you see into Sandu’s brain, let alone Ferro’s and Gary’s?” Charlotte asked.
Emeline pulled back in her chair, sitting very straight and regarding Lorraine as if she’d grown two heads.
Lorraine shrugged, trying to be casual. Should I not have admitted I can see into the minds of others? Such as Sandu and Ferro, or the healer? Is that a breach of confidence?
Of course not. The others would not care that those women know.
“Lorraine?” Charlotte prompted. “How is that possible?”
“When Andor was dying . . . Well, he actually appeared dead. The healer tried multiple times to find him and bring him back. In the end, Gary said it was impossible. He had to find a way to bring Andor back, but there was no following his soul. We weren’t bound together at that point, but Andor had explained the concept to me.”
“That must have been terrifying, thinking you would lose your lifemate,” Charlotte said, laying a sympathetic hand over Lorraine’s briefly.
She hadn’t known enough about being a lifemate at the time, but she’d known Andor was a lifeline. She’d been alone and drifting without a true purpose. She’d practiced meditation every day, sometimes several times a day, but she’d been unsuccessful in stilling her mind.
She’d walked into her home and found a bloodbath. She’d found her parents, aunt and uncle and another pair of adults she’d known most of her life lying dead in a lake of blood. And Theodore.
“Andor gave me back something I had lost, and I wasn’t about to lose him the way I’d lost everyone else in my life,” she explained. “I knew we had a strong connection and I asked the healer to let me try to find him. At first all of them protested, but you know, I was taught never to take ‘no’ for an answer if I knew in my heart I was right. So, I didn’t take ‘no.’”
“That’s incredible, Lorraine,” Blaze said. “You went into the scary, between place?”
“I don’t know what or where it was, but I told myself he was in a coma and couldn’t find his way out. I just had to reach him and I could guide him back. It didn’t quite work that way.”
Charlotte nodded. “It couldn’t have, because you said you checked three Carpathian males’ minds for their experiences in battle.”
Lorraine sighed. She didn’t know how to explain what had happened, but she was going to try. All three of the women were obviously fascinated. “Gary helped me shed my human body and I traveled with him into Andor’s body.” She gave a small little shudder, remembering the bitter cold. “I couldn’t reach him, but we came close. I could feel him. Gary explained it was further than he had gotten and we were running out of time.”
She would never forget the urgency she’d felt. She’d nearly given in to a panic attack, but she’d managed to stave it off with deep breathing. She’d idly expressed her regret that she and Gary couldn’t be tied together and both of them retrieve him. He would make her so much stronger. She hadn’t known what she was doing.
None of the men had said anything for what seemed an eternity. The same urgency that had been on her before had worsened, until she’d wanted to scream. She’d pleaded with Gary to try again. It had been Ferro who’d reluctantly told her they could bind themselves to her and might be able to boost her strength and give her what she needed to pull Andor back. She’d jumped at the chance without knowing the consequences. Gary had tried to tell her, but all she’d cared about was bringing Andor back.
“We performed a ritual to bind our souls together in order to reach Andor,” she admitted. “I didn’t realize that by doing so, I would have access to their private thoughts and also their battle experiences. Obviously, they can shield their minds from me, but no one does that day and night, twenty-four seven.” Looking at their shocked faces, she hastened to try to redeem herself. “I didn’t know what that meant. Seriously. I didn’t allow Gary to tell me when he wanted to. I just wanted Andor back and didn’t think beyond that.”
“Ferro suggested it?” Charlotte asked.
Lorraine nodded slowly. This was a bigger deal than you let on to me even when you explained about the danger to
everyone.
It is done. There is no undoing it.
That much was the truth. Gary and the others had told her that once bound to her, they couldn’t undo the bindings. Only a lifemate could. She hadn’t cared. She’d only wanted to save Andor. She’d been very persuasive because the others had been adamant it wasn’t a good idea. She’d gotten her way.
“The others tried to stop me,” she conceded. “I pushed and pushed until I finally got my way. That place is dreadful, filled with despair. It was just horrible and scary and took its toll on all of us, but in the end, it was so worth it in more ways than one.”
“I don’t understand how that would work,” Emeline said, looking very confused. She looked to the two others as if they had the answer.
“Are your souls still bound?” Blaze asked.
Reluctant to give away family secrets, she just shrugged rather than have to lie.
Charlotte leaned into her. “Lorraine, I admit I’m new to the Carpathian world and I still think in terms of being human, but even I know this is highly unusual. I think, if Tariq knew, he would have told me.” She lowered her voice and looked around her. “Something like that is explosive.”
She sank back in her chair, and it was clear she was talking with her lifemate. Lorraine had just done so, but having Charlotte consult privately with Tariq made her a little nervous. Having lifemates speaking telepathically as an everyday, common occurrence was just plain cool. Still, Tariq was the leader, and the idea that she’d explained anything incorrectly to Tariq’s wife, and perhaps had made more problems for the ancients, upset her.
“He knows,” Lorraine said, tilting her chin at Charlotte. “Andor told him immediately.”
Charlotte nodded. “He does know. He said he was thinking about the consequences before telling me.”
“Consequences?” Emeline asked. “Why would there be consequences?”
Blaze touched Emeline’s wrist very gently, drawing Lorraine’s attention to the white scars there, as if someone had torn Emeline’s skin as deliberately rough as possible. “An ancient without a lifemate is potentially a very dangerous man to all of us. They are our greatest weapons, but should they turn, they would make the worst of all enemies. Tied to the three, Lorraine would be unable to hide from them.”
Emeline turned her gaze to Lorraine, not attempting to hide her horror. She’d been tied to a vampire and knew how truly brutal and cruel they could be.
“I think, having the three of them bound to us”—she made certain to include Andor—“gives them the opportunity to feel my emotions when they haven’t felt for so many centuries. I’m hoping it gives them more time.”
Charlotte started to say something with a little shake of her head but then stopped herself. Lorraine lifted an eyebrow. “What? Just tell me. Sooner or later someone will, and I may as well have the information now.”
“It’s just that feeling emotion and then losing that ability over and over, as they would when they were away from you, is actually harder on them.”
Lorraine frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense. They are tied to us until they find lifemates. All three. At any time, they can access emotion. That should make it easier, not harder. Unless they are a great distance away, hunting, which I am certain other lifemates do, they can feel if they tap into my emotions.”
“She’s right,” Blaze said. “I checked with Maksim.”
“That should be right, but these are ancients we’re talking about. Like truly ancient. I know anything over five hundred years is considered ancient, but this is a huge difference in age. They no longer count age, but all this time they’ve been building in power,” Charlotte said.
Lorraine couldn’t help but see why she was fit to be lifemate to the leader. Charlotte was looking at problems from every angle and trying to figure out what could happen to better prepare them all for it.
“So, what do you think is happening, if not the ability to tap into my emotions?”
“I think those ancients are struggling every minute of every rising, and they are going to become more careless in the way they fight. They don’t believe in meeting the dawn, so where can they go? What can they do? Emotions without an anchor will mess them up more. Their lifemates anchor them where you can’t.”
Blaze threw her hands into the air. “Charlotte, I still don’t understand. What are you saying?”
It was Emeline who answered. “Blaze, think about what would happen to someone if they hadn’t seen in color but now can. It’s disorienting. It can actually make them feel sick. The vivid brightness is too much. It’s overwhelming. And then add emotions into the mix. They have to sort through them very quickly and choose to use or discard. A lifemate automatically aids with those things. You do it without even being aware that you’re doing it. The three ancients cannot possibly assimilate those things without help. The draw to tap into Lorraine’s emotions has to be incredible, yet it won’t help them. In fact, just the opposite.”
The air exploded out of Lorraine’s lungs. Why didn’t you tell me? But she knew why. Andor had explained things in a way that had made her believe the ancients benefited from her pressing them to be tied to her. He wanted her to believe she’d done something good for those she cared about. She already thought of them as family. The last thing she wanted to do was harm them in any way. She wanted to protect them and help them find the lifemates she believed they deserved.
Breathe, Lorraine. You already knew there was a risk . . .
To me. To us. In that they could find us, but the risk to them was only if they turned vampire and you could track them. I never thought by binding them to me, I would make what they suffered more. I thought it would be less.
We do not know what is happening to them because they choose not to tell us.
I could find out . . .
No. Absolutely not. You are not to look into their minds. That would be considered a breach of etiquette.
She didn’t want to look into their minds. She’d discovered too many horrific things. She’d her own nightmare to deal with, she didn’t need any more, or to take on someone else’s.
“Lorraine.” Emeline’s voice was sweet.
Lorraine could imagine her holding a baby in her arms and rocking her gently.
“These men have been contending with evil and the fight to stay honorable for a long time. No matter what happens, you remember it was their choice. It is always a choice whether or not they choose to give up their soul,” Emeline said.
“How is that possible?” Lorraine fought to understand. The world of the Carpathians was far older than she’d imagined and she had difficulty grasping the complexities.
“There is one clarifying moment, even in a thrall, Dragomir told me, where they have a chance to go back. To take that decision back. Those who are vampire stayed that course. They decided for themselves that they preferred to become the undead rather than go out of this world with honor.”
Lorraine bit down on her lower lip. “I’ll send up prayers that Ferro, Sandu and Gary don’t ever have to make that decision.” She meant it, too. After the loss of her family, she wasn’t certain what she believed anymore, but she could pray and do it in several languages. Surely, she would be heard and not judged for being angry.
“Honey,” Charlotte said, “they make that decision every rising.”
That sank in. Mostly, she thought in terms of Andor. He’d been an ancient making his way in the world, searching for her, his lifemate. He’d endured rising after rising and never given in to the persistent voice that tried to lure him to become the undead. Had he been tempted?
Were you tempted, Andor? Was it as bad as it sounds?
Worse. Much worse, he promptly responded. He was matter-of-fact. There was no bid for sympathy; he might have been discussing the weather. And yes, I was tempted, but only after the whispers ceased, leaving me with nothin
g at all.
Lorraine couldn’t imagine his life, but she felt it, she’d sensed emotions coming from him when he hadn’t been able to acknowledge them. She’d felt pain when he couldn’t. To some it might seem a perfect existence, but she knew better.
“Csecsemõ, we need you here at the warriors’ council. You have about fifteen minutes and then you will receive a summons. It is up to you whether you wish to decline or not.
That didn’t sound good. Now the next fifteen minutes were going to crawl by. Thanks for the heads-up. She failed to keep the sarcasm to herself.
I thought you would want time for those strange things you women do.
What things? she challenged.
Fuss, because you do not think you look good enough, when in fact you look so good your lifemate struggles with control.
My lifemate never struggles with control, although sooner or later, I will make certain that it happens. Deliberately she thought about licking up his shaft. She felt the way his body reacted, a hard jerk of his cock. Instant alertness of his nerve endings. Her little gesture was an immediate success.
Just remember retaliation is in order.
She loved the threat in his voice. Loved it.
“Lorraine, are you paying attention or drifting off?” Blaze demanded and pointed to Amelia, who had just walked up the stairs.
Charlotte laughed and held out her hand to the newcomer. Amelia went to stand beside her adoptive mother, allowing Charlotte to wrap her arm around her waist.
“She’s got that goofy look on her face,” Amelia said. “The one you all get when you talk telepathically to your lifemates. The only thing a person can do for self-preservation, if they don’t want to see you all mushy, is close their eyes and count to one hundred. Or plug their ears and sing lalala.” She rolled her eyes.
“I don’t look goofy,” Lorraine protested.
“Totally goofy. And gooey,” Amelia added. “Bella would say gooey.” The smile faded and she looked down at her feet.
Lorraine saw Charlotte nudge the teen gently. Amelia lifted her chin and moved a scant inch closer to Charlotte. That told Lorraine a couple of things. The first and maybe most important, Amelia accepted her adoptive mother and trusted her. The second was her gaze continually shifted away from Lorraine’s. Either she was very shy, which seemed doubtful, given the way she was when they’d first met, or something had happened to her and she thought Lorraine knew.
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