As cliché as it sounded, he was my hero.
But I didn’t need a hero.
I looked around for the others. I found the Nymph woman, Raegan, first. I went up to her, picked up a dagger someone had dropped and was about to stab her, when Alec grabbed my hand.
“You don’t have to do it,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be you.”
I ignored the electricity that was surging from his hand to my arm making me want to do all kinds of naughty things with him.
“Yes I do. This is what I came here for. This is what you trained me for. After what they did to me, to my parents…” I shook my head once, “I have to.”
He let me go and nodded once. “So be it.”
For just one more second I hesitated. Maybe it didn’t have to be this way. When I thought I had killed that guard on a raid over a week ago now, I was pretty upset about it.
I didn’t want to kill people.
I wasn’t a murderer.
But I did want them dead. Maybe it would be okay if Alec did it. He was older and wiser than me, and had way more experience with killing people. I really didn’t want to be a killer.
But when I looked down at her, her black mane circling her head, her tan skin so smooth and flawless, all I could see was blood.
Her blood, spilling from her lips from where someone had hit her in the mouth. My father’s blood after they broke him, and stabbed him, and killed him. My mother’s blood where they had tortured her, even worse than they did to me, and cut off her head.
My blood. She had my blood on her hands.
It had to be me.
For a second I actually considered torturing her. Tearing her limbs from her body. Slicing my way through her skin, cutting open her muscles until I found bone. Crushing her bones. I imagined, for just that second, hearing her scream in agony as she made my parent’s scream. As they made me scream. She had burned me. She burned my skin, down to my heart, ripping open my sanity and leaving only destruction.
When I shoved the dagger into the Nymph’s head, I felt detached again. Like it wasn’t me. It went in easier than I thought it would, her skull offering very little resistance to the powerful magics in the blade. Blood pooled up and bubbled out of the wound when I pulled the dagger out of her head.
She was a traitor and deserved the worst death possible. Worse than a dagger to the skull. So I took the dagger, and with all my strength, I sliced across her neck, hoping I was strong enough to do the deed in one try.
Blood splatter the wall. Her head rolled away.
I wiped the lone tear that had escaped from my cheek as I whispered a silent prayer for my parents, For you…
Two down, three to go.
I stood up and looked around the room. The Morgan Freeman twin was lying in a puddle of his own blood, his head already missing.
“Where are the others?” I asked Alec.
When I looked at him, his mask was still firmly in place, betraying none of his emotions. I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. I just wanted this over. I wanted them dead. I wanted vengeance for my parents.
Everything else would come later. Everything else I could deal with afterwards.
He started moving his hands up, and I could feel his magic pooling out of him. It felt different this time, like it was tangible. It was actual, physical matter. I reached out, in awe of his power and beauty, and touched his magic.
It was almost as if I could feel his magic with my own. Like they could connect. Become one. Unite. It was a part of him being released and I could smell it, taste it, feel it, hear it and see it. It was all around me.
He turned to me with a smile in his eyes and walked up to me.
“I can’t focus with you distracting me,” he whispered. His mask was gone, and for a minute, I could see the hunger in his eyes. Hunger for me. My heart did a cartwheel. My stomach clenched in anticipation.
“What am I doing?” My voice sounded way too breathy for my liking, but I couldn’t really help it. Not when he looked at me like that.
“You’re releasing your magic. I know it’s hard to understand. I promise I’ll explain this,” he motioned with his hands, “all of this as soon as soon as we leave. But I need to find them first.”
“Well, what do you want me to do?”
He looked at me like he was going to say exactly what he wanted me to do, and I had a feeling it was something I would love doing, but then he shook the idea away. Hopefully he stored it for later, because that look was very promising.
“I need you to go wake up Lynn and help the Sprites.” I started to argue that I was not going to let him go off and kill them on his own, but he interrupted me. “I just need you to focus on something other than the sensations you get from my magic.”
Sensations! Oh the sensations…
But I nodded, because he was right. I did need something else to focus on other than him. I felt so wired and scattered and couldn’t focus on anything. Like I had ADHD 100 times over. It was like when I walked into the Empyrean for the first time, and had sensory overload, but it was even worse.
I could hear so much, smell everything. See for miles. I could even taste the air, or lack thereof, in this bubble beneath the poisonous water. And my emotions were all over the place. From lusting after Alec, to feeling murderous towards the Mortem, to wanting to cry over the loss of my parents, to being concerned for Lynn and the Sprites. I was going around in circles.
I looked around and quickly spotted Lynn. I shook her and whispered, “Lynn,” as I looked her over. She seemed fine. Would have a nasty black eye, but I didn’t see blood anywhere.
She finally roused and looked at me in shock, her eyes opening wide.
“You have your wings? It’s about damn time!” Then she looked around, unaware of all the crazy emotions and thoughts circling in my head about my wings. My wings! “Alec, what happened?”
She got up and started waking the other Sprites. I followed her lead, determined to not freak out about having wings.
Wings! I did a little jig and thought to myself, I have wings! I had to forcefully stop myself from looking for them. I wanted to touch them and see them. I had to focus.
“I can’t sense them,” he growled. “There’s so much magic here, it’s all combining.”
She looked confused so I offered, “We’re looking for the Pixie, and one last Nymph. The other three are taken care of.”
She nodded, and then did what Alec was doing. It was different, because from her direction I was feeling the cool, refreshing magic she was using, and from the other side I could feel Alec’s warmth.
It felt like so much. So much beauty. So much magic! So much power, love, hate, anger, happiness. It was so much of everything. I felt like I was the supernova again. Like their magic was building inside me. Building and building and I couldn’t contain it.
It was too much. I couldn’t handle it all.
“Not again,” Lynn grumbled, as she looked at me, pleading for something that I didn’t yet understand.
Alec ran up to me. “Calm down, Lily. Breathe. Steady your heart.”
But when he was so close to me, my heart only flew faster. So fast. So fast. My heart felt like a hummingbirds wings, beating super speedy behind my ribcage.
I didn’t even notice when my head hit the ground. Yup, fainting was my thing to do, I guess. So lame.
Chapter Forty Two
Awakening: An influx of magics, that occurs at the exact time of a Fae’s birth, on his seventeenth birthday. It can take anywhere from one minute to over an hour. Usually happens in the comfort of one’s own home, with the Fae surrounded only by those closest to him (i.e. Parents or immediate family) as the sensations are overwhelming and too many people can cause issues. During the next 24 hours, the newly mature Fae will be overly sensitive to all six senses: touch, sight, sound, smell, taste and magic.
When I woke up, I was lying in bed in the room Alec and I had been sharing since we’d been in Muircadia. As so
on as he noticed I was awake, he came to the bed and sat down next to me.
“Hey. How are you feeling?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.
“I’m feeling significantly better.” I didn’t feel crazy or scatterbrained. My senses were still slightly heightened, but not overly so. I didn’t feel so volatile and chaotic anymore.
“Good. Well, Happy Birthday!” His smile was small, but still there. “Sorry I’m a day late.”
“You were right on time,” I told him. And I meant it. “If you hadn’t come when you did, I don’t even know what would’ve happened.”
“Do you even know what did happen?”
“Not really.” And I almost chuckled, even though none of it was a laughing matter. “I really have no idea what happened. I was so confused. I still am, actually.”
“First, I need to say I’m sorry. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know how they got to you. I tried to find you, I swear I did.” The words that came out of his mouth were backed by so much emotion I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could answer him.
“It was my fault.” I looked down, to hide the shame. “I just had so much energy, and couldn’t sleep because of everything we read in the ephemeris. I just had to get out. So I went for a run.” I swallowed again, so that I could continue the confession. “I ran into the guy. And at the time, I didn’t know who he was or that he was part of the Mortem. I just knew he was hurting a girl and she was so helpless and then he killed her.” I looked up at him. “I mean, he just killed her. And at first I ran, because it scared the crap outta me. But then I felt like I had to do something. So I tried to stop him.”
“I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I was in your place,” he said. “So, I understand why you did it. But,” he took a deep breath before continuing. “Dammit, you scared the hell out of me, Lily!”
“I’m sorry.” Shame colored my cheeks red.
“No. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you faster.”
“No, Alec, it’s fine. It’s over. How did you find me anyway?”
“It was your birthday. You were coming into your magic. We could all sense it, feel it building. Probably everybody in the whole village could sense it. It was so strong.” He looked so in awe. In awe of me.
“I don’t feel strong.” But after I said it, I realized I did feel strong. Ten times, no 100 times stronger than I did the last time I was awake. I felt like I had new muscles beneath my skin, muscles that were tight and bound that I never even had to work for. And my skin was stronger, like it was forged iron holding my muscles together. Everything about me felt stronger.
I looked down at my hand, and my tiny scar, my broken tear drop, was gone. Healed. Vanished. And though I loved my new muscles, I would miss that little scar.
“Well you are. So much more than you know.” He smiled, just a little one again. I was pretty sure it was more for my sake than the fact that he actually wanted to smile. “And so I just followed you. You and I are pretty connected now, so I could feel you come into your magic as soon as it started and knew exactly where you were. Thankfully we weren’t far away, so when it started, I gathered everyone up and we came to get you.”
“Oh.” I tried to make sense of everything that happened, and everything he was telling me. “So, why did everyone fall down back there?” It was something I had been thinking the whole time, but didn’t have the time to actually question it before.
“It’s called an awakening, when a Fae comes into her magic. At the exact moment of his birth, he awakens. It’s a huge influx of magic, all at once, and can often be very difficult to control. It’s…”
“Overwhelming,” I offered, knowing exactly what he meant.
“Right. And with all the magic that was already in the room, you released it. You released what’s called Sylph Air. It’s air that you create inside of you. Umm,” He looked away, trying to find the right words. “It’s not just air that can push someone down or make something move in the breeze. It’s filled with a toxin that can cause other fae to pass out, or even die if toxic enough. We don’t use it very frequently because it exhausts us.
“That’s why I wasn’t affected. Because I’m Sylph, the toxins don’t affect me, but Lynn was pretty upset about it. They were all pretty nauseous for a while afterwards.”
Well, that answered a bunch of questions. “And that’s why I passed out again?”
“Well,” he cleared his throat. “I know that it contributed to it. But you were already mentally and emotionally exhausted.”
I nodded. Because he was so very right. I was all kinds of exhausted.
“I…” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I killed her.” I had to say it out loud, to hear it.
He nodded and grabbed my hand to hold it in his. The warmth and affection was something I needed more than I realized. It helped me to remember that I’m not a bad person. I killed a killer. That’s all.
I gave my parents justice. I avenged their deaths. And I wouldn’t feel bad about it.
I wouldn’t.
“Did we get them all?”
“The Pixie is dead. The last Nymph got away. We lost him.” He sounded so disappointed, it hurt my heart to see.
“That’s fine,” I said, clearing my throat and straightening my spine a little. “It gives me something else to do. Something more to live for.” I was still determined to continue on despite all the messed up stuff that had happened. Maybe more determined than ever because of everything that happened.
“You have so much to live for, Lily. Such potential for greatness. You don’t even realize it. You are so very strong, so smart. So beautiful.” My face warmed at his sincere compliments.
But I didn’t feel embarrassed around him anymore.
“Thank you!” I told him. “Thank you for everything, Alec. Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for training me. And listening to me. And comforting me, and being there for me. Thank you for saving me! Thank you so much for…for just being you.” My eyes started to water with the intensity of emotions I felt.
His eyes sparkled green, as if I had just given him the best compliment ever. Like it was the best thing he had ever heard.
But then he cleared his throat, and said, “I’m sorry about the kiss back there. It was neither the time, nor the place. And I just…sometimes I lose control when I’m around you.”
“Why do you keep apologizing for kissing me? Is it so bad that I have feelings for you? Would it be such a bad thing if we cared about each other, and wanted to kiss? Is it because I was raised in the Mortal Realm and don’t have a clue what going on here half the time?”
“Of course not! I just, I don’t want to take advantage of you, Lily. You’re vulnerable. You just lost your parents. And you’re in a new place. And you’re young–so much younger than me. And you just got your magic, I’m sure your sensations are going haywire inside of you. I don’t want to take advantage of the situation.”
“You have never once taken advantage of me, Alec. Never.”
As he peered back into my eyes, I could see that mask slip away. I could see all of his emotions rising to the surface. I could see all the passion he felt. The victory he felt for finally avenging Lix’s death. I could see his affection for me, and he did, he did care about me. And in that moment, I knew it wasn’t just one sided. It wasn’t just some infatuation, a delusion I had in my own head. I knew that there was a deep seated bond between us that transcended time and place and realm.
“So, what are you going to do now?” he asked me. He looked almost worried about what I would say.
“I don’t know. I was kind of thinking about joining this rebellion. It makes sense why I feel so connected to this place. I know my parents left, and even though I’m not 100 percent sure why, I kind of feel like it’s my fault. And I feel like I have a duty to this place, and to these people. And I wanna hel
p.”
He smiled. A real smile. The first one I had seen on him in what felt like forever. His dimples appeared, and his eyes crinkled. And I couldn’t help but smile back.
“I’ll follow you wherever you go!” he swore. And then he kissed me.
He kissed me with all the passion he had been holding back. He kissed me for every time he wanted to, but felt he shouldn’t or couldn’t. He kissed me for every bruise I had, and for every burn that was forced on me. He kissed me for every minute that I had been held hostage, and for every drop of blood spilt.
He kissed me and took it all away, replacing my pain, sadness, grief, agony, fear, loneliness, all of it with something better. With each stroke of his hands he gave me joy. With each caress of his fingers he gave me friendship. With each embrace he gave me security and protection. And with each brush of his lips he gave me love.
And it was beautiful.
We spent the night together in that bed, caring for each other in ways only loved ones can. Sleeping next to him was both easy and hard at the same time. It was as easy as breathing, laying next him, feeling him breath next to me. But hard in the sense that I couldn’t help but thinking of doing things with him that didn’t involve sleep at all.
He made me feel like I was the only person in the world. And to him, I think I was.
Chapter Forty Three
Battle: A battle is a combat between two or more armed forces, usually a physical altercation between two or more armies.
War: War is more of a strategic altercation between two or more entities, such as countries, nations, regimes, etc.
Battles are between soldiers, while war is between countries or nations. Battles can be won and lost, but it may not determine the end of the War. Battles are usually short term, while wars are lengthy.
It takes a war to overthrow a monarch.
The next morning, we stayed curled up in each other’s arms. My face rested on his chest, his muscles hard beneath me. I had one arm draped across him, and a leg between his legs. My cheeks warmed just thinking about him.
“Good morning,” he whispered right before he kissed my cheek.
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