Sweat dripped down my neck and back, my sheets and pillows were on the floor, and I felt the bed tremble beneath me. I knew I was awake, I could see the same dresser that I had owned my entire life. I could see my closet door with Sam’s handprints on them from when she was only two years old and had dipped her hands in some paint, and the full length mirror hanging from my closed bedroom door.
And yet, I still felt like I was in my dream. There was no fear of him; I was no longer running or scared. But I still felt that same strength I had in my dream. Only now it was hurting me. It still felt good, in a way, but even good things should come in moderation. This was overwhelming! It was eating away at my mind and body. It wasn’t the same hurt from my dream when he was there – the burning and devouring of everything good in me. More accurately, it was the feeling of strength… of power!
I ran outside in my boxer shorts and large t-shirt. I felt the warm, sticky air cling to my skin and heard the cicadas and crickets singing their songs, oblivious to the fire inside me. I had to be rid of this pain. I couldn’t stand it. It did feel good… but too good. It was too much!
“Please! Please stop!” I begged out loud, to nobody in particular, as I raced down the long driveway. Wanting so badly to get it out of me, whatever it was, I screamed. Just one time, as loud as humanly possible. I screamed with my arms outstretched towards the cloudy sky and just let go of everything.
With that scream, I felt it leave me. More than that, I saw it leave me. A purple wind, thick and cloudy, shot straight up and out of my hands and into the sky.
Relief washed over me as I collapsed down to the concrete driveway. I took in the first good breath in what felt like forever, letting it soothe me completely. The stars, twinkling above so brightly, seemed to be laughing at me – or maybe cheering me on, I couldn’t tell which. They were brighter now than I could ever remember seeing them before and there wasn’t a single cloud left in the sky.
I lay there and tried hard to remember the last few minutes that had passed.
I shuddered at the memory of him. But this time, in my dream, I had enough good, or strength, or power, or whatever to make him leave. And when I woke, I still felt that same – something, but I managed to somehow make it leave.
I laid there for what felt like forever, trying to figure out if this was still a part of my dream or if I had woken up in an episode of the Twilight Zone.
I managed to get myself up off the ground, dusting small pebbles and leaves off my oversized shirt. Walking up to the sliding glass door at the back of the house, I saw my reflection for the first time since I had woken and gasped at the sight. Could that person actually be ME?
I was pale, much paler than I had ever been before. I always had at least a tiny amount of a light tan color covering my naturally fair skin. Living in Texas helped with that. Not now. My eyes seemed to pop out of their sockets, and my face looked nearly gaunt. But wait, my usually dark brown eyes were different too. But how the hell could my eyes change color? What the hell was wrong with me? I’d heard that brain tumors could cause hallucinations and headaches. Maybe I should schedule an appointment with a doctor to get my head checked out.
But first, I needed sleep. Before I would concede that I had gone certifiably insane or had a life altering illness, I was off too bed.
As I walked back into my bedroom, I saw the red light of my alarm clock taunting me. Could it really only be 3:45 in the morning? I sighed and fell asleep wondering what tomorrow would bring.
Chapter 2
An Old Friend
“Mom, are you still asleep?” Samantha said to me as she shook me back and forth in an attempt to rouse me. “It is almost time to go to church. We are so going to be late!”
“Yes. Yes, I am awake now. What time is it, Sam?” I mumbled, still half asleep.
“It’s already 9,” she said, exasperated. Hearing the irritation in her voice made me laugh. She always acted so much older than she was.
“Dang,” I said, rubbing my eyes harder than I should have. “Ok, why are you up already?” I had always been an early bird, and she was the exact opposite, a definite night owl. I always had a hard time waking her.
“The phone won’t stop ringing. I can’t believe you didn’t hear it too,” she shouted at me, frustrated at my sluggishness. Again, her reaction was just too amusing.
I sighed. No I hadn’t heard it. I hadn’t heard anything. Who would be calling this early in the morning on a Sunday? Climbing out of bed seemed a harder task than normal today, I was exhausted. I watched Sam run out of my room and into hers realizing that she was in the process of getting ready for church all by herself.
How does the time slip by so quickly? I clearly remembered the cute, squishy, blue eyed, blond haired baby, who had just learned to sit up by herself. The exquisite angel that I would snuggle close to my chest every night. My own beloved, the one that needed me to live.
“Is Dad coming this time?” she asked as she walked past my room on her way to the bathroom, only to hesitate and give me a questioning look as if to ask why I was still in bed.
I took the hint. I forced myself out of the warm, comfortable, safe place that was my bed, and onto the floor. I was so stiff that my legs nearly buckled underneath the weight of my entire body. “No, he isn’t. Sorry, baby,”
My fiancé, and Sam’s dad, was Alexander Humphries, a 25 year old construction worker; the same man that I have been dating since I was only 14, if you could actually call it dating at that young. The only man that I have ever been with. Tall, dark, and handsome, he was the man of every girl’s dreams.
Over the last couple of years, however, we had grown apart – more like, went in two opposite directions in life. He was very preoccupied with work, as was I, but I at least managed to make time for family. We constantly fought now, despite us being engaged. I shuddered at the thought of marrying him and living with him the rest of my life. I still loved him; I was just no longer in love with him. Being with him now was more like a convenience; or rather something I was supposed to do. He was, after all, the father of my child.
As I walked into the kitchen before we left for church, Samantha ran up to me and wrapped her tiny, squishy arms around my neck to whisper in my ear, “Happy Birthday, Mom!”
“Aww, Sammy, you remembered.”
“Of course I remembered, silly,” she giggled as I kissed her all over her face. “Anyways, Grammy told me to not forget, since she is gone already. She said we could have cake tonight! I so cannot wait. Her cake is the best.”
I feigned shock, “What do you mean, her cake is the best? I thought mine was.” I gave her a reproachful look.
“Well, where do you think you learned it from, huh?” she grumbled as we walked to the car.
I didn’t argue. She was right of course. My baking was never up to par with my mothers.
The trip to church would have been fine, if I hadn’t had the events of last night still so clear in my head. I decided that what I thought was me waking up and going into the driveway was really just an extension of my dream; my subconscious telling me that everything was ok and nobody was going to come get me… or something like that. It didn’t really matter what it meant, only that it wasn’t actually real.
***
Mass was the same, except for the newcomer, an older man, maybe in his late 40’s or early 50’s. He looked vaguely familiar to me, and it was almost unnerving. Even more unnerving, however, was the fact that he kept staring at me. Though he probably thought the same thing about me. I kept staring back. I tried to make myself focus on mass but it was difficult. So the time just continued to drag on by.
“Hi, Allison. How are you doing?” Mass had just ended, and the strange yet familiar old man had come up behind me. I tried to rack my brain so that I could figure out where he would know me from.
“Hi there,” I replied. “I’m fine thank you, and you?” I asked, bewildered by the fact that he seemed to know me.
“I’m doing ve
ry well. It is your birthday today, correct?” How could this man know so much about me? It was seriously starting to freak me out.
“Yes it is. Mr…?” I didn’t want to come right out and ask him how he knew me, so this seemed like the best path to take.
“Oh, I’m sorry. My name Is Richard Linus, but you can call me Rick. I used to come to church here years ago. You were very young then, only 5 years old the last time I saw you.”
Holy dang! No wonder he looked familiar. This was the man that had been a very good friend to mom right after dad died, and then he just disappeared. What was he doing back here after all this time? And how strange he would remember my birthday after all these years?
“Oh, yes I remember you now. Whatever happened to you? You were here, and then gone. You just left. I always wondered where you went.” And why you left. He had been almost a father figure to me after my dad died. Losing him too had been terrible, especially for my mom.
“There were things I had to take care of. My job used to take me many places, and unfortunately, I was unable to stay in one place for very long. I was very sad to say goodbye, to both you and your mother.”
He had hurt her a lot – hurt both of us. I was just glad she had come to the earlier service and missed out on this reunion.
“But you didn’t say goodbye.” I paused for dramatic effect, arching my brow at him. I hoped he would realize that we weren’t really interested in reconciling past friendships. “Well, it’s been nice but I really have to go now. Goodbye, Rick,” I said to him as I marched towards my car and called out to Sam who ran over and took my hand. I held back a sigh at children and their small legs, Sam could never keep up with me at the best of times.
“Please, Allison. Can you wait for just a second? I did come back for a reason,” Rick shouted at me as I raced to break free from all the weirdness of the situation.
“I’m sure you did, but I’m very busy, and I really need to get my daughter home.” I tried to stay calm. I had been close to this man, and more importantly, my mother had cared for him. But then he just left. He never dropped by to see how life was or even pretended to care. And now he had chosen a terrible day to reappear. I was still aggravated and tired from last night’s fiasco and did not have the patience for this.
“Please excuse us,” I said, as I turned to Sam, “C’mon baby. Let’s go.” She looked up at me with her big blue eyes, confusion covering her face. She didn’t seem to understand why I wouldn’t hear him out. But she hadn’t been there when he disappeared. Mom had needed a friend and he left her. And now he had come back to, what, ask for forgiveness or something? To be a part of our lives now? Well, I didn’t have time for this.
It wasn’t until I saw his reflection in the car window that I realized he was now the one confused.
“Your daughter?” he asked.
I got into my car, ready to buckle my seatbelt, when he said something that threw me entirely off guard.
“Can you honestly say that nothing strange has happened to you today? Maybe at… oh let’s say, 3:38 this morning?”
What the hell? I hadn’t even told my mom about my dream. How could this stranger know anything about it? Obviously he noticed the awestruck look on my face, a look of complete and utter shock, decided I had taken his bait and continued on.
“There are things in this world that not everyone knows about. A battle between good and evil, to put it lightly. There are good people with extraordinary power, and there are evil people with terrible power. You have been a part of this world since you were born, and there is a lot that you need to learn if you want to survive. Have you not noticed what is happening in this world? The wars? Did you learn nothing from your studies in this church? What makes you think famine and death won’t come next? However, this is neither the time nor place to be discussing this, so if you would like to drop your daughter off somewhere, we can figure out how…”
I can’t be sure, but I think he stopped because of the look of pure disbelief that took over my features. Good and evil? People with powers? Drop my daughter off somewhere so I can meet up with him? War, Death, and Famine? What, like the Horsemen of the Apocalypse? He must have gone crazy while he was away. What happened to me last night was just a dream. There was no other logical solution for it.
“Listen, I don’t know how you know these things about me – like my birthday, and my dreams – but it doesn’t matter. I have had some weird dreams lately, yes. And there are some crazy things happening in this world, of course. But that’s all. Nothing more! There is no such thing as ‘people with powers,’ the end of the world is NOT coming right now, and I have never been a part of any world except this one. So please, do what you are good at, and get the hell outta my life!” And with that final statement, I put my car in reverse and drove out of the parking lot as fast as I could while still being safe at the same time.
As soon as we were out of sight of the parking lot, I slowed and watched the cars zoom by me. I glanced at Sam in my review mirror as she asked, “Mom, what was all that about?”
The car seat scorched my back and the seat belt burned into my skin through my shirt. In Texas, it doesn’t matter if it is still early in the morning; the sun has no filter here. I turned up the air conditioner and tried to cool us off. Maybe the air conditioner would work on me too. My temper was getting out of hand. Why had I gotten so upset anyways?
Sam was clearly still confused. I felt bad for her, because I wanted to explain everything to her, tell her everything, but I didn’t know the answers myself. I didn’t know how he knew those things about me. I guess he could have remembered my birthday, or had it written down somewhere, but I’m not sure I would ever know how he knew about my dreams.
“Sam, honey, I…” The problem was I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what to believe. “That man was someone that Grammy and I knew a very long time ago, and I don’t know why he was acting so weird,” I took a deep breath, “but I’m sorry I got so upset. I’ve been feeling kinda weird lately, and I’ve been having all these funny dreams.” I tried to produce a chuckle to reassure her; however, the only thing I could manage was a small smile.
Driving home always felt like it took forever, mostly because we lived 45 miles from where we went to church. But that was ok with me this morning. I actually appreciated the extra time it gave me to think.
How the hell could all of this fit together? How could Rick possibly have known about my dreams? I suppose if someone was stalking me, or watching me, they could have seen me run outside. But no, that had been part of my dream too, right?
I was interrupted by a recording of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star that I had made into my ring tone. Samantha had sung it, slightly off key, into my phone nearly a year ago now, but I could never bring myself to change it. I reached down to grab my phone out of the cup holder to see who it was though I was pretty sure I already knew. Alex called my every Sunday, right around this time to make sure we got to and from church ok, but I had been driving much slower today so we were still maybe 15 minutes away.
“Hello,” I said, already knowing how this conversation was going to go.
There was a time when things were different between us.
“I love you so much, babe,” he whispered in my ear, causing the butterflies to go wild in my tummy. His strong, warm hands caressed my arm as I let it lay across his stomach. My cheek rested on his chest and I could both hear and feel his heart beating, strong and steady. We were lying on his bed, our legs tangled together with Linkin Park playing in the background.
“I love you, too,” I swore. We were both preparing to tell our parents that we were expecting. Was I scared? No. I was young, naïve, and confident in my boyfriend.
“I’ll take care of us. I promise you,” he paused and patted my tummy, “both of you.”
We didn’t know if the baby would be a girl or boy yet, and we didn’t care. We would be a family. Everyone happy and loved, perfect. Was I concerned about scho
ol, food, and money? Sure. But I knew Alex would take care of us. He had taken care of his mother and his sisters, who were both younger than him, after his father died. I knew he could handle taking care of us.
“You’re my girl forever,” he promised. “And I’m sorry I suggested…” he stopped. He had wanted me to have an abortion. To kill this life inside me. I couldn’t though. I loved it already. “Anyways, I’m sorry. And I will take care of y’all.”
I knew he would.
“Everything go ok?” he asked. I sighed, I didn’t even get a "Hello," or a "Hi babe," or an "I missed you." Nope, never anything like that anymore. He no longer wasted his time telling me sweet nothings.
“Yes. Everything went fine. Almost home now,” I told him, trying to sound like everything really was normal and okay.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t be fooled so easily. “You aren’t home yet? Why not?” His agitation seared my ear through the phone. So quick to anger.
I took a deep breath, hoping that it would calm me before I spoke to him again. If I got upset it would just make him more upset, and that was never a good thing. “I’ve just been driving a little slower today, that’s all. Seen a lot of cops so it’s got me all nervous. It’s all good, babe.” If there is one thing that everyone knows about me, it’s that I have a speeding problem. I’m pretty sure it goes along with my lack of patience. Not really, really fast or anything. I just go a little faster than the norm.
“You? Drive slow? Is everything ok?” To his credit, he did seem to genuinely care about my wellbeing. If only he loved me too. I took another deep breath and contemplated counting to ten, but it would probably have pissed him off more if I didn’t answer right away.
“Yes. I am fine, Alex. Like I said, there are lots of cops on the road. We seriously cannot afford a ticket right now.” I said, knowing he could not argue with that. The only bad part about driving fast is that I get caught too often.
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