by Fiona Lowe
And why bring someone else, like Molly, or even Edie, into his misery, if he took that risk, and failed? You’re just like your father, Rafe. Just like his father. How many times had he heard that throughout his life, and how the hell could he wish that on anyone? “Care for another beer?” he asked Edie, more with the intent of grappling for conversation to clear his head of the dark thoughts rambling around in there rather than offering an actual beer, which he was pretty sure she would refuse as she’d hardly touched her first one.
“One’s my limit,” she said, pushing away her still half-filled mug. “I’m full. Good pizza, good beer, interesting conversation …”
So, this was it? The end of the evening? A little conversation, a little food, then what? Rafe wasn’t even sure this warranted a circumspect kiss at the front door when he dropped her off. Which, in the end, turned out not to matter, as Henry Danforth called before they made it to the car, telling Rafe that he’d brought Molly home from her party, and she seemed a touch under the weather.
“Probably nothing,” Rafe said as they headed out the door. “Kids pick up bugs all the time.” Yet only two hours ago, all decked out in her frilly pink dress, she’d seemed fine. No symptoms, no nothing. Just a normal child with an exciting evening ahead of her.
“Want me to come with you?” Edie asked. “I know you’re the doctor, but she might need …”
“Mothering?” A chance to see how much Molly needed Edie.
“A woman’s touch. And if you could see the look on your face right now …”
He bent down, took a look in the rear-view mirror, saw the worry mixed with stress, tried pretending it didn’t exist. “Looks normal to me,” he lied.
“Looks nervous.”
He chuckled. “OK, so maybe I’m a little overanxious. But I’ve never had a kid to care for, and I don’t really know much about them.”
She climbed into the car, and Rafe shut the door behind her then went round to the driver’s side. “Good parenting is a lot about good instincts. Don’t over-think it, Rafe. It’s all really pretty simple. Give her the basics—food, shelter, clothes, education, add love and support and some wise guidance along the way, and she’ll turn out to be amazing.”
Maybe so, but not for him. “Guaranteed?”
Edie laughed, then reached over to squeeze his arm. “With Molly, yes. Guaranteed.”
His inclination was to kiss her now, before the evening turned crazy. But she fell back into her seat too quickly for that to happen, fastened the seat belt almost instantly, and pretty well sent out some very strong body language … all of it negative. Naturally, he didn’t blame her. He hadn’t handled this evening well. Thank God, Edie was good-natured about it, because any other woman would have left him before the beer arrived. But Edie … she was different. The more he got to know her, the stronger his conviction became that she would be perfect … for Molly.
For some lucky man, too. Edie and another man … a thought he shoved right out of his head.
“I think she’s feverish,” Henry Danforth explained. He had almost leapt out the front door to greet them, he was so anxious over Molly’s condition. “I thought about taking her straight to the hospital, but seeing you’re a doctor …”
Rafe laid his hand on the man’s shoulder to reassure him. “You did the right thing. I’ll go take a look, and if she needs something I can’t do for her, I’ll get her admitted in a few minutes. But most times these things turn out to be nothing.”
“I was worried I might have done something wrong. When I got the phone call … by the way, her little friend’s mother called me because Molly said you were on an important date tonight and couldn’t be disturbed. Anyway, Grace always told me I was like a bull in the china shop when it came to children, but I never took her seriously. And when I got the call, I wasn’t sure what to do. Maybe I should have …”
Rafe silenced him with a squeeze, gently nudging him toward the door. “I’ll call you later. Go home, relax. And don’t worry about it, Henry. You did the right thing, bringing her home, putting her to bed, and calling me.”
“She’s a little flushed, Rafe,” Henry said on his way out the door.
“And I’m sure she’ll be better in the morning.”
“Well, call me, one way or another. You know how I care about that child.”
Everybody did. Which made Rafe feel guilty, as he was the lone hold-out, the one who couldn’t care enough. “I’ll call. Now, go home, go to bed.” As it was to turn out, his “next morning” prognosis was a little off. Molly had a good case of flu. The two days in bed type, Rafe feared, once he had a look at her.
“And now we’re exposed,” he said to Edie, who was already placing cold compresses on Molly’s forehead. “Sorry about that.”
She laughed. “I work with children, get exposed to things every day. I’ve got pretty good immunity built up. Haven’t caught a thing from anyone yet. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to work with children is that I seem to have a high level of immunity, at least from the common, everyday ailments like colds and flu. Kids are living, breathing, breeding grounds for bacteria and viruses, and my stamina has come in handy. So, do you want me to spend the night?”
An offer he wanted to accept in a different way, one having nothing to do with taking care of a sick child, but, having her here to take care of Molly would have been nice. But having her here would have also been too cozy, and he was beginning to think of Edie in terms of someone other than the woman he wanted to be Molly’s mother. Those feelings, in fact, were springing on him much faster and stronger than he could have ever expected. Not good.
Rafe reached out and took her hand, pressed a set of car keys in them. “I appreciate the offer, but we’re good. How hard can it be, taking care of a sick kid? Keep her hydrated, keep her rested …”
Edie laughed. “Bet you won’t be saying that tomorrow. When kids are sick, they have this way of getting really—”
“Annoying?” he asked, smiling.
“More like rambunctious, needy, lots of whining. Their energetic little bodies aren’t meant to be sidelined, and while the wise doctor in you will know that Molly needs more rest for a full recovery, Molly’s going to be telling you, and showing you, the very opposite. So, call me when you’re overwhelmed, because I have a few sickbed tricks up my sleeves.” She held up the car keys. “Thanks for the ride. I’ll bring it back tomorrow.”
“No hurry. I have an idea I won’t be going anywhere for a couple of days.”
“Then maybe I’ll stop by with a care package after work. Are you sure you can take care of her by your self?”
“Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” He walked with her to the front door then opened it. “Look, Edie. I’d like to do this again before I leave Lilly Lake. Another night, no flu. Maybe something other than pizza. Do you think we can manage that?”
Another date? He was actually asking her out on another date? She was sure they could manage it, but with the way her pulse was racing, she wasn’t sure she should. “Let’s wait until we see what this strain of flu holds in store for us, OK?”
He chuckled. “Well, I’ve got to give you credit for one thing. That’s the most original turn-down I’ve ever received.”
“Not a turn-down, Rafe. I’d really like to go out with you again. And for two people who basically don’t date, or get involved with anyone else, that’s a pretty big step. But you’re not going to be here much longer, and with Molly’s needs to see to, I’m not sure that the two of us getting together is really a priority. Plus, I’m betting you’ll probably be sick with flu in a couple of days. So …”
“So it’s a maybe?”
“Possible maybe.”
“And if I don’t start showing any flu symptoms in a couple of days?”
“Then I’ll upgrade the prognosis to a probable maybe.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. “I had a nice time this evening, Rafe. Thank you.”
He frowned for a moment then
shrugged. “As I don’t know if we’re going to get to do this again, I might as well go for it.”
“What?” she asked.
But he didn’t answer. Instead he pulled her into his arms and lowered his face to hers. “Incubation time for most common viruses is one to three days so I could already be infectious. There’s still time to back out.”
“But I’ve got good immunity,” she said, tilting her head back as all willpower flew right out of her. “Great immunity, and …” And she wanted this. Didn’t kid herself that it could be a one and only, because for them that was most likely their destiny. But she wanted this almost as much as he did, and she was ready to take the step that crossed the line of no return. Knowing what she did, that nothing could or ever would come of this, the prudent choice would have been to step back, but there was nothing prudent in her as she pressed herself hard against his body. “Just this once,” she whispered, staring up into his eyes. “Because we know who we are.”
But looking led to touching and more senseless ideas than she could deal with. His hands splayed on her spine, working their way down from her shoulders to the hollow curve at the small of her back. His body, hard with an arousal she couldn’t explore, crushed unrestrained to hers. Her attraction level was crazily out of control now. Sure, she’d admit it. She was attracted to Rafe in ways she hadn’t known attraction could exist. The other aspects of his life, of her life, though … the ones that were invading her mind … that was the real problem. Except at this moment she wouldn’t allow the problems to beat them.
“You’re sure?” he asked, his voice so low she barely heard it.
She nodded, tried to speak, but there were no words as Rafe pushed her hair aside, pulled down the neckline of her sweater, but only enough expose the skin over the tender place where her neck and shoulders met. Then he kissed her there. Tender kisses in a row, leading to her jaw.
Edie tried to steady herself, tried willing herself to be calm, tried thinking of this as only a kiss, but as his lips first touched her flesh, her knees nearly buckled underneath her, causing her to hold on to Rafe for dear life, lest she slide to the ground at his feet. As her arms reached up to entwine themselves around his neck, rather than saying or doing anything that would spoil this perfect moment, Edie simply breathed out the longest, most satisfied sigh she’d ever sighed, and let the tingle of his lips trailing down the back of her neck take over.
“Maybe we should stop,” she finally managed, when it was obvious he was ready to start yet another exploration. She didn’t want to stop, though. Not anything. But common sense was the only barrier between her and a broken heart and she was just coming to realize that Rafe was the first man, the only man, who could break her heart.
Suddenly, all the need in her turned into trepidation.
“You’re not enjoying this?” Taking over with his fingers, Rafe kneaded her shoulders then started down her back.
Enjoying it? She was enjoying it more than he would ever know. “It’s not.” His hands skimmed over her ribs and came to rest in the small of her back, eliciting an involuntary moan from her. “Not right.” Breathless words. “We’re not supposed to be …”
“Not supposed to be what?” he whispered in her ear as he placed a kiss there.
It would be so easy to get lost in this, to forget that he didn’t ever commit, that she wasn’t ready to commit again, but … “Mmm …” she mumbled, as his hands descended ever so slightly lower, nearly, but not quite to the round of her bottom. Her eyes flew open as the pressure of his slight squeeze jolted her out of the moment. “Rafe, we can’t.” She tried forcing conviction into her voice, but she couldn’t do it. It simply wasn’t there to be found.
“Fine, if that’s what you really want …” As he spoke the words, though, his hands continued their journey, not down but to her hips. Which was where he stopped. Which was where he pulled her so roughly into him that there was no question what came next. Not now, not in the next hour or two.
“It isn’t,” she forced out. “What I want is …” she whispered, “is one moment.”
Rafe cupped her chin in his hand and tilted her face up to his. “Only one moment?”
Edie swallowed hard as his gaze fell to her mouth. She could feel his heat, feel the sparks arcing back and forth between them, feel everything. “Maybe two or …”
Before the rest of her words were spoken, Rafe lowered his lips to her. Kissed her hard at first. Kissed her out of pure frustration and raw want. But the kiss melted into tenderness as his tongue slid back and forth across hers. His mastery of such a simple thing sucked the air from her lungs and caused her to forget that they were standing on the front porch of his aunt’s mansion, caused her to forget that this was only a moment and there might never be another one. In that time, there was only that moment, only that tangle of emotions she so desperately feared.
Her kiss to him came on a moan as she pressed herself even harder against him and snaked her left leg around his right. Rafe groaned with pleasure, a heady sound she enjoyed almost as much as she enjoyed the taste of him—the tantalizing reminiscence of pizza and beer. Shamelessly, she ground herself into him, found his erection, and nuzzled it into her belly, then rocked back and forth into him, into his arousal. Then she gave herself to his hand pressing underneath her sweater, seeking out her breast … the ache of pure, sexual desire cresting in her in a way she’d never before felt. And would never feel again.
Reality, in all its ugly manifestations, came crashing down. They couldn’t do this. Nothing about them was about … them. Except that one new feeling she had. And she truly didn’t know what to do with it, or about it. So, she stepped back, took a firm hold of his car keys, and prayed her legs would take her all the way down the walk to the car.
When she got there, after she’d managed to get the door open, she finally allowed herself a look back, to see if anything about Rafe looked the way she was feeling. But he was gone. The porch light was still on, and the front porch was totally, completely empty.
CHAPTER SIX
“RAFE, I need your help.” Rick Navarro’s voice came over the cell phone.
He’d barely had time to check on Molly. So far, she was sound asleep. Resting pretty comfortably, actually. Now he was sitting in a chair, staring out the window at the night sky, hoping for sunrise, hoping for a new day to begin, seeing that he’d gone and messed the old one in ways he didn’t even want to think about.
It could have been a simple kiss, should have been a simple kiss. Hell, who was he kidding? He’d wanted Edie like he’d never wanted another woman in his life. Hence the topic of his current thoughts. Why had he wanted Edie like that? He wasn’t kidding himself about the answer. It was about a lot more than just the physical urges. A whole lot more.
The thing was, he wasn’t finding an answer. Or maybe he didn’t want to find one. But now it didn’t matter. Rick was on the phone, saying something about needing him.
“I can’t come. Molly’s sick,” Rafe said.
“That’s what Edie just told me. So I’ve got Summer Adair on her way over to look after Molly. She was your aunt’s nurse.”
He’d talked to Edie? How was Edie sounding? he wondered. Just as confused as he was? “What’s the emergency?”
“Accident. We have casualties … multiple car pile-up out on Route 9. Roberts Turn. Small van full of children involved.”
Children involved. Suddenly everything else in his mind was pushed aside. “Any other information?”
“Not yet. I’m on my way to the scene. We’ve got firefighters on the way, and I’ve called some extra staff into the hospital. Don’t know what to expect, though. Reports from the scene are pretty spotty.”
“OK, I’ll be there as soon as your nurse shows up. I’m probably twenty minutes out once I hit the road.” Without a car! Or ten minutes by horse. As soon as Rick hung up, he called the stable and asked Johnny to saddle Donder. The way it turned out, Johnny was ready to ride with Rafe by the time
he reached the stable.
“Just keeping track of the horses,” the older man said.
“Or keeping track of me,” Rafe said, climbing up into the saddle.
“I’m not saying that you’re out of practice or anything, but it’s been a while since you’ve had a good hard ride, and I just want to make sure nobody gets hurt.”
Rafe smiled. “Me or the horses?”
“Your aunt did love her horses, son. But as far as I could tell, she loved you, too. Don’t expect she’d have wanted either you, or her horses, getting hurt none.”
Taking the reins, Rafe turned Donder toward the stable doors, wondering how often doctors made house calls on horseback these days. In a way, he liked it. “Giddyup,” he said, nudging the stallion in the side.
Donder whinnied, snorted in a deep breath, then Rafe was off. Black horse, black night. Somehow he felt exhilarated, felt more alive than he had since. since he couldn’t remember when.
Too bad it was Lilly Lake doing this to him, he thought, turning just short of the pine grove beyond Gracie House and heading down the trail leading to the back door of Roberts Turn. Too bad, because he liked the way he felt. Could almost imagine himself living here, doing something like this more often.
But it was Lilly Lake. And that was always the bottom line.
“Seven children, five adults involved,” Rick shouted in greeting as Rafe climbed off Donder and handed the reins over to Johnny. “We’ve assessed a couple of specific orthopedic injuries. Stabilized them for the time being, but we may need to send you back to the OR to take care of them if we can’t get hold of Dr. Wallace.”
“Who’s Wallace?” Rafe asked, practically running alongside Rick.
“Our orthopedic surgeon. We share him with the clinic in Jasper, as well as the hospital in Beaver Dam and the one in Redbird.”