‘I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but you can’t keep avoiding Meg and Chrissy. You have a responsibility to them. They’re the innocent victims in whatever went down between you, Neil and Evie.’
‘I’m not abandoning my responsibility to them. My job is my livelihood. It has to take precedence. You should understand that.’
‘I do,’ Cam conceded. ‘Look, we’ve had our clashes but you and I are not really that different. My job means a lot to me, too.’
‘As invasive as it is.’
‘Hey, I know what I do is intrusive, and the constant filming demands a lot from you. But you’re the one who signed up for it.’
‘What I signed up for was to find someone to … love.’ The word tasted bitter on his lips, a too-potent reminder of everything that had gone pear-shaped since he’d first tricked himself into believing he knew what it meant. In reality love was a poison, eating silently away at your insides until only a huge, empty void remained.
How a void could ache so relentlessly, he had no idea.
‘You chose a pretty public forum for that.’
‘Yeah, I did.’ All of a sudden, focusing on the task in front of him was impossible. Adam laid down the chisel and slumped onto a stool. ‘Dumb, huh?’
Cam offered up his palms in a gesture of peace as he sat beside him. ‘No condemnation from this little duck. We’re all looking for that special someone. Even me.’ He sounded surprised. ‘Finding a soulmate through a questionnaire just might work. Look how internet dating sites are thriving.’
‘Ever tried one?’
‘Nah, not for me. I like meeting girls the old-fashioned way, in a bar. But I’m thinking how and where you meet Miss Right comes down to luck. Right place, right time.’
‘Ever been in love?’
‘A couple of times. You?’
The sandpaper in Adam’s throat made it difficult to talk. ‘I … thought I was but it … it didn’t work out.’
‘I know that feeling. It can make a mess of you. Especially when you think you’ve met “the one”, and it turns out she’s kind of involved with someone else.’
‘Kind of involved? Sounds complicated.’
The cameraman jiggled a restless knee up and down. ‘Yeah, well, hopefully she’ll see the error of her ways, sooner rather than later.’ He sat silent for a moment, staring out at the horizon, then turned back to Adam. ‘I shouldn’t ask you this, but I’m going to anyway. Off the record, have you made your choice? Chrissy or Meg?’
Had he made his choice? Yes.
He shook his head. ‘No.’
‘You’re going to have to make a decision, and soon. The big reveal goes live-to-air in just over a week.’
The demeanour of the cameraman had changed somehow; he’d become more businesslike. Where was this going?
‘I’m aware of that.’
‘Are you? Those girls have been left high and dry. From my angle I see them both doing their damnedest to help you out of this funk you’re in, but you’re like a man without a tongue in the short time you do spend with them each day.’
Adam slowly digested Cam’s words, and as he did so, a wave of guilt built up, so high it could almost have engulfed him. Briefly reflecting back over the last couple of weeks, he didn’t like what he saw. He’d been a disinterested observer of the world going on around him. A man so self-absorbed, so fixated on his own sadness and humiliation that he had no time for other people’s feelings.
His mother hadn’t raised him to be a man like that.
‘I’m not—’
Cam cut him off. ‘Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re going to say. Your job is important. But that lack of interaction—Neil’ll tell you in no uncertain words—it’s affecting the show.’
Adam stiffened. Cam could not have used more inflammatory words. For the past nearly two months, Adam’s entire life had hinged on Perfect Mate. He’d allowed a television series—a charade that had only brought him heartache and misery—to dictate where his future was headed. He cared that he’d hurt Meg and Chrissy with his self-imposed withdrawal, but he had no such qualms about adversely affecting the show. Or infuriating its editor.
‘There’s only so much that can be spliced together from past content without repetition becoming obvious,’ Cam continued, seemingly oblivious to Adam’s churning anger. ‘Add to that your noncommittal interviews and Neil’s lost what little patience he ever had, which is making life hell for us. For all our sakes you need to get over it.’
Adam exploded. ‘Get over what your boss and your co-worker did to me?’ He couldn’t bring himself to say her name aloud. ‘Some things you don’t get over just like that.’ He snapped his fingers in Cam’s face.
‘Whoa! What did they do to you?’ The cameraman scrutinised him with a genuinely puzzled frown.
‘How could you not know? The whole country must know by now.’
Cam shook his tousled head in bewilderment. ‘Look, I’m not up to speed with what went down the night before Evie left. All I’ve figured out is that you three had an almighty blow-up over that footage she deleted and—’
The hair on the back of Adam’s neck stood on end. He sat bolt upright on the stool. ‘Evie did what?’
‘Deliberately deleted footage. It’s the reason she was—’ Cam, chisel gripped in one hand, framed quotation marks in the air, ‘— “released”.’
‘What tape?’ he demanded.
‘From the Windjana Gorge trip. Not sure which bit exactly. Neil’s been close-mouthed about it. But whatever it was, it was majorly important. He says that if he’s got anything to do with it Evie can throw her job out the window, despite her father’s position at the station.’
Adam raised a hand to his chest. The feeling inside was like a punch to the heart so hard it had completely halted it. This had to be a dream. No, a nightmare.
‘I feel for Evie. Wouldn’t like that man as my enemy.’ The cameraman continued chiselling as he talked, seemingly oblivious to the effect his words were having.
Adam leaned heavily against the table as the full implication of his sending Evie away hit. He’d been so wrong about her. There could only be one reason behind what she’d done: she loved him. Loved him enough to sacrifice her career plans by deleting the shameful footage. It had to be that; it explained so much.
And what had he done in return? Rubbed everything she’d done for him in her face. The words he’d thrown at her that night came back to torture him, hurting him as much now as they must have hurt her. When she’d tried to explain her reason for being there, he’d cut her off; giving her the benefit of the doubt hadn’t even crossed his mind.
She hadn’t betrayed him at all. He had betrayed her.
Cam glanced up. ‘You okay, mate?’ he asked, regarding Adam warily. ‘You look like you’ve been hit by a bus.’
Adam gave a brief nod, incapable of even attempting a verbal response.
‘I thought Evie would’ve spoken to you about what happened before she left,’ the cameraman continued, returning his attention to the task in front of him. ‘You two were pretty tight.’
Adam dropped his head into his hands. She had made a further effort to talk to him. How would he ever forget the wounded look in her eyes when she opened the door to find him entangled in Chrissy’s arms?
He sat there, struggling for control of the emotions that roiled in his stomach. He had no one but himself to blame. He’d been so caught up in his humiliation, so full of his own woe-is-me attitude that no one else mattered.
‘We were tight,’ he finally managed, ‘before I screwed up.’
The sense of loss was overwhelming.
Cam gave him a startled look and laid his chisel down on the table. ‘I’m guessing there’s a whole lot more to this than you’re letting on. Want to talk about it? I’m pretty good at keeping my mouth shut.’
Adam teetered on the edge of a yes. Would unburdening himself to Cam, admitting all his wrongdoings, go any way towards easing the guilt?<
br />
A picture came to him. Evie sitting listening, her head tilted to one side, a look of infinite tenderness shimmering on her lovely face. That endless capacity to listen, really listen, and with an open heart, was a gift he’d never have again.
Unless he did something about it.
An idea began to form. A crazy idea. But maybe crazy was what was needed here. He had to let Evie know how he felt about her. It was the only answer.
As the thought firmed, his brain stopped whirring and a feeling of calm settled deep inside. His breathing slowed and his heartbeat steadied to a rhythmic thrumming. He knew what needed to be done—what he was prepared to risk for her. It was a gamble; the biggest he’d ever taken.
But it was for the woman he loved.
There could be no doubt that’s what this feeling was: the desperate need to share all her secrets and all her desires, to protect her from any hurt the world might throw at her. In the few short weeks they’d known one another, Evie Sinclair had aroused more emotions in him than he could ever have imagined possible. She’d made him believe for the first time in his life that the man he was inside was worthy of being loved. Now, the need to let her know he loved her was more important than breathing.
‘Sorry Cam. I’m not prepared to talk about it until a few things are set straight.’
CHAPTER
24
WAB Television Studios
April 18
‘One minute.’
The time-call jolted Evie into action. She adjusted her headphones then gestured the time signal to the camera operators. Under the heat of the studio lights, as they all stood waiting for Sunup to wrap, she exhaled a sigh of quiet exasperation. She knew what was coming next: from now until the end of her shift she’d be keeping a low profile, trying to avoid questions from people—many of them friends—who could never know the truth of why she’d been replaced on Perfect Mate.
In return for arranging for her to go back her old job, Evie’s father had demanded complete silence in return. She’d had no choice but to agree; the humiliation of having to admit to him her almighty error in judgement in falling for the star of the show had left her with no fight in her. She’d weathered the storm of his rage by docilely bobbing along, accepting wordlessly his summation of her as a fool. Feeling nothing but gratitude for the crutch he’d offered—once he’d calmed down—of the daily routine of work. It was all there was to cling to and God knows she’d needed some kind of mooring. If not for that she would have sunk without a trace.
‘And four, three, two, one. That’s a wrap,’ the producer’s voice rang in her ears.
She removed her headphones to follow the lead of the rest of the crew on the floor in congratulating the hosts on the show. Not that she remembered much of it; working was just a distraction to keep her mind from her misery. Of course she was grateful to have a job at all, given Neil’s threat, but all enthusiasm for it had evaporated. She’d become a doormat, running around with a fake smile plastered on her face, bowing and scraping, doing exactly what she was told so she didn’t draw any undue attention.
She hated herself. Hated what she’d become.
A male figure sidled over next to her. ‘Got a minute?’
Steve Willis was the PA Evie had replaced on Perfect Mate. The guy who’d had some family problem that made it impossible for him to go on location. She raised a hand to politely fend him off. ‘Sorry. I’m busy.’
‘Evie, I really need to talk to you,’ he insisted.
She shook her head firmly. ‘No.’
The slumped shoulders and downcast mouth as he turned away had an immediate effect. Her own shoulders sagged and she scrubbed at her face in self-disgust. When had she become this bitch? Steve didn’t deserve to be treated like this.
Ewan Sinclair’s insistence she not discuss anything regarding the series with anyone was becoming more and more difficult to adhere to. His show of parental concern had come across as genuine—he didn’t want to see her outed in the gossip section of Entertainment Weekly as the ‘unnamed production assistant’ who, for ‘reasons unknown’, had returned from the ‘secret location’ where the show was being filmed. But no doubt Ewan Sinclair, Series Producer, had different motives for keeping her silent; his daughter’s involvement with the leading man of the breakout hit of the year could lead to very messy publicity for the show. The old saying ‘any publicity is good publicity’ didn’t apply in this case.
Suddenly she felt deeply alone. She’d been on autopilot for too long and the need to talk to somebody, even if just to pass the time of day, was overwhelming.
‘Steve, wait. Apologies for my rudeness. How’ve you been? Did everything work out okay with the family?’
He turned back, head tilted to one side. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’
‘Neil Blake said you had family dramas. It’s why I got the go-ahead for up north in your place.’
Steve tugged at his scraggly red beard. ‘I guess he had to come up with a story to cover himself.’
‘Now I’m not sure what you mean.’
‘I think we could both do with a caffeine hit. My shout.’
They made their way to the staff canteen, to a remote corner well away from any listening ears, and as Steve’s story unfolded Evie sat and listened, stunned. By the time he finished, horrified disbelief and her hammering heart made it difficult to breathe.
‘No.’ Her first instinct was to refute it all—there was no way the Neil she’d known since childhood would be that stupid—but then, pieces of the jigsaw started to drop into place. The picture it formed—a married man in a position of power falling for a beautiful, ambitious young thing half his age—wasn’t new and it wasn’t pretty. It was the stuff tabloids thrived on.
‘I know you worship the guy, but I’m telling you, it’s true.’
Evie scanned the face of the man across from her. His focused look and direct manner were the giveaways. He was telling the truth.
Impulsively protective of her one-time mentor, even despite what had happened between them, she grasped at anything. ‘Neil’s been under a lot of stress. His marriage is falling apart and—’
‘Can you blame his wife?’ Steve’s words cut across hers. ‘He’s a cheating bastard.’
The words hit with such impact she stopped in the middle of a sip of her long black and lapsed into silence. Steve was right. Neil’s deceit had affected more than just her alone. He didn’t deserve anyone’s loyalty.
So why the hell was she defending the man who’d taken advantage of her gullibility? She could scarcely believe the seething disgust that swept through her. A hand flew to her stomach to quell the churning. The man she’d once regarded so highly had used her, shamefully, to cover his tracks.
Add naive idiot to your list of self-recriminations.
She closed her eyes, struggling with her emotions. Maybe she should be pleased her unease about the relationship between Neil and Chrissy had been confirmed, but there was no sense of satisfaction in being right. Wounded as she was by Neil’s treatment she couldn’t help thinking it was wrong to blame him entirely. Reviewing the interactions she’d been witness to on location, in retrospect a number of scenes had revealed tension between the pair. Perhaps Chrissy had taken to her role of winning Adam’s heart with a little too much enthusiasm?
Evie would probably never know the truth about that, but the possibility that Chrissy was playing them all for fools was hard to ignore.
‘How did you find out about her?’ she asked, finally, unable to keep the anger from her voice.
Steve paused, eyeing her speculatively. Had she given away too much?
‘Sorry if this sounds like a cross-examination but I need to be sure of the facts.’
He relaxed back into the plastic chair, picking absently with a fingernail at something that had been spilled on the table’s silver laminate. ‘It was a fluke. An American mate of mine was at the Big Apple RTV School last year. Did you know there are actually courses on how
to be a successful contestant on a reality show? Only in America, right?’ He shook his ginger mop, clearly bewildered by the concept. ‘Anyway, he Instagramed a heap of photos from the sessions. One girl stood out. Totally gorgeous. Turns out she’s an Aussie.’
Evie nodded. ‘Christine Wright.’
‘I recognised her face when I read her profile, after she’d already been selected for the program. I went to Blake with the info, thinking it was right thing to do and he brushed me off.’ Steve’s jaw hardened. ‘Next thing I know I’m off the project. No explanation, just a warning from the man himself not to go spreading ridiculous stories about the girl or I’d find myself without a job. Full stop, no correspondence entered into.’
‘How did you find out Neil and Chrissy were involved?’
‘I was annoyed with Blake so I did a little digging via my mate. Seems Chrissy was usually seen in the company of an older man matching Neil’s description. She referred to him as her “agent,” but it was pretty obvious to everyone there was more to the relationship. He couldn’t keep his hands off her. Guess he felt safe being so far away from home.’
‘Hmm. He did work in the States for several months last year.’
‘Yeah. I checked. Wonder of wonders—same time the course was running.’
An idea started ticking away at the back of her mind. ‘You kept the photos of Chrissy?’
‘I did.’ He pulled his smartphone from his jeans pocket and showed her.
Good start.
‘Does anyone else know about this?’
Steve stared at her as if she’d just asked him if he’d ever considered harakiri. ‘With a threat like that hanging over my head? Are you kidding? The only reason I’m talking to you is because I thought for you to get sent home before the shoot finished, you must have learned what I knew.’ He cleared his throat awkwardly. ‘By the way, if you had no idea what was going on, why are you back?’
She was a long time replying, weighing up the risks of being as honest with him as he had, thankfully, been with her. Caution won out. The plan formulating in her brain wasn’t completely hatched yet and until it was she had to keep her cards close to her chest.
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