“Second place,” she said, turning back to Heather with a big, beaming smile on her face.
“That’s great, bug.” Katie gave her a high-five, and so did Claire and Ben.
“Look, that peach pie won.” Heather stood in front of it for a few minutes—long enough to make Katie wonder what she could possibly be thinking.
“The art is next,” she said, prompting Heather to move. She did, but she’d fallen really quiet, and she held her right hand in a fist. “Relax.” Katie reached for her hand and worked her fingers out. She paused and let Claire and Ben get a few steps ahead. “Listen, Heather, this is just a Christmas festival, okay? There are lots of people who entered who didn’t get anything.”
“I know, Mom.” She glared at Katie.
“I just don’t want you to ruin your whole day over this. You had fun painting it. You didn’t have to go outside and do the sports. If you don’t get anything, I just….” Katie exhaled, trying to explain hard things to a child was so, so difficult.
“Did you know Theo tried to start two businesses while we were married?” she asked, and that got Heather to actually look at her instead of through her.
“He did?”
“Yes, and they both failed. After the second one went under, we were broke. We had nothing but a bug-infested apartment.” Katie didn’t want to revisit those memories. “But he kept trying. He told me once that these companies he’s doing now were his sixth attempt at a business. Six tries, Heather. Lots of practice. Lots of ideas. Lots of trying and failing and trying again.”
“I wish he were here,” she said softly. “He’s going to like the painting.”
“I know, sweetheart.” Katie hugged her, hoping her inner fury wasn’t showing on the outside. But she was going to kill Theo when she saw him again. For standing her up again. For promising Heather he’d be there and then not coming. Didn’t he know what that did to a child?
Of course he didn’t. He didn’t have children. Theo hadn’t had to think about anyone else for a long, long time.
Her phone chimed, and she hastened to pull it out of her purse.
“Is that him?” Heather asked, her voice a bit choked. She wiped her eyes, and Katie wanted it to be Theo so, so badly.
“No, bug. It’s Grandma.” She turned the phone to Heather so she could read the message. Good luck with the festival today! Let me know how it goes.
Katie wanted to cry, then punch something, then cry some more. She held everything so tight as she put her phone back in her purse and took her daughter’s hand again. “Come on. Let’s go see the painting. Am I going to like it too?”
“Yeah,” Heather said. “I hope so.”
They moved into the art section, and Katie walked a half-step behind her daughter, every cell in her body on high alert.
“There it is,” Heather finally said after they’d rounded three corners and hadn’t seen it. The painting hung on the back wall of the community center, and it boasted bright, bold, beautiful Hawaiian colors that showed a beautiful oasis of trees, flowers, shrubs, and….
“Is that our backyard?” Katie asked as she stepped closer. She saw the edge of the deck, and the cat bowls in the back of the patio. “It is. Heather.” She exhaled, in total awe of her daughter’s talent. “This is incredible.”
The painting was probably two feet by two feet, and it made Katie want to find her latest paperback and curl up to read. “I mean, it’s so beautiful.”
“And a blue ribbon,” Claire whispered, and Katie flinched.
“Really? Where?”
“On my name. Mom, look. I got first place.”
Joy and relief filled Katie so quickly she almost started crying. Her eyes dropped to the name plate and she saw Heather had named the painting My Happy Place.
“Wow, bug. First place on your first painting.” She put her arm around her and pulled her into her side. “So, so great, Heather. So great.”
They stood there for a few more minutes. Long enough for the pride and euphoria and relief to give way to the absolute anger that Theo had missed this moment with them.
For what? Katie asked herself, and she couldn’t let the thought go.
The four of them went for tacos, like they’d planned, and Claire and Ben kept Heather’s spirits up throughout the meal. Katie participated when she had to, but both Claire and Ben kept shooting her glances that said they knew she was a ticking time bomb.
“All right,” she finally said. “Let’s get on home. I’m tired.”
She hugged Claire goodbye, and her friend whispered, “Call me as soon as you hear from him.”
Katie nodded and she nodded at Ben, who swept his arm around Claire’s waist, a worried look on his face. Back at home, Katie changed out of her nice clothes and put on her ratty pajamas. When she went to tuck in Heather, she found her in bed, changed and ready, crying.
“What’s wrong, bug?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Heather said. “I just…have all these…feelings inside.”
So Katie covered her up with her favorite blankets and tucked her stuffed elephant in by her head. Then she climbed into bed with her, and asked, “Good feelings or bad feelings?”
“Both.” Heather curled into her, and Katie stroked her hair, her voice automatically starting the nursery rhymes. But she understood Heather’s feelings. She had them too. Good ones and bad ones, and she felt like crying too.
But the one person she wanted to be there to hold her while she did was the one person who’d made her feel all the bad feelings.
Where are you, Theo? she thought as her daughter finally quieted enough to fall asleep.
An hour later, Katie’s phone finally went off, startling her from the movie playing on her laptop. If it was anyone but Theo, she might throw her phone out the window.
But it was Theo, and he said I’m so so sorry. Something came up, and I rushed back as quickly as I could. I don’t suppose you’re still at the community center?
For several long seconds, she considered not answering at all. Did he really think they’d be at the community center almost three hours after he was supposed to meet them? She snorted, her heart hardening against his apology.
No, she typed out, her fingers hovering over the screen, waiting for her to decide if she should send more. In the end, she didn’t, just letting that single word zip across the telephone lines to him.
Can I come see you?
It’s not me you need to see, she said. She thought of Heather, sobbing in her bed, and she knew some of her feelings were because of Theo not keeping his promise. But Heather’s asleep.
I’m on my way.
Katie heaved herself out of bed, unsure of what she’d tell Theo when he showed up. All she knew was that she wasn’t changing back into regular clothes, and she wasn’t going to let her daughter get hurt again.
So when Theo pulled up to the house, she was sitting on the front steps in her purple pajamas, waiting for him. He got out of the car and approached slowly, his head down. At least he looked sorry.
“Hey.” He climbed the steps and sat beside her.
“Where were you?” she asked.
“It’s a long story.”
“I think I deserve to hear it.”
He cut a glance at her out of the corner of his eye. “All right. I’m trying to hire more people to take a new client Ben drummed up. There’s this ex-FBI agent that lives up on the bluffs, and he was supposed to come down to the office today. Instead, he wouldn’t leave the house because he’s paranoid, and I ended up at his place.” Theo ran both hands through his hair and sighed. “I was there for four hours, and I couldn’t find a way out. By the time I got my phone back and could leave, he was convinced I needed to stay the night because there would be snipers on the highway coming back down.”
Katie blinked at him. “This isn’t a joke to me.”
“I’m not joking.”
“Heather was devastated,” she said, her fury rising like the tide. “I realize
you don’t have children, but you can’t make promises to them and then break them. You just can’t.” She shook her head and looked across the street.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said.
“Sometimes sorry isn’t enough,” she murmured.
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.”
Theo sighed too, but it wasn’t the happy kind of sound she wanted to hear from him. “The exhibit will be up tomorrow. I’ll take her first thing.”
“No,” Katie said, shaking her head. “No, we’ve already gone. She got second place on her sourdough, and she won the children’s painting division.”
“So I don’t get another chance?”
Katie turned toward him. “How many do you think you get?”
“I’m not perfect, Katie.”
“I know that.” Boy, did she know that. “Neither am I. But you know what? It’s not just me anymore, and you weren’t there while she cried tonight.” Katie drew in a breath. “I think we should take a break.”
“No,” he said. “I don’t want to take a break.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to constantly come second to whatever else happens to come up.”
He sucked in a breath, creating a hissing sound, but Katie had finally found the reason the relationship had been bothering her since that missed meeting. “You don’t put us first,” she said. “And for this to work, we have to come first. I do. Heather does.”
“You work too,” he said. “You’re telling me Heather always comes first for you?”
“Absolutely she does,” she said, heat filling her whole body. “The only reason I’m working at all is because my criminal of a husband was dealing drugs. Before moving here, I stayed home full-time with Heather. And when I’m late getting her now, it’s also because of someone else. I never choose other things over her deliberately.” Her chest felt so tight, so tight. “You will always choose your business over us.”
“If you really think that, what’s been happening all these months?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess I thought you’d changed. In a lot of ways, you have. But not with work.”
“So you’ve just been waiting for me to screw up, is that it?”
“No,” she said.
“I think yes,” he said. “Like, you knew this was a problem for you, but instead of talking to me about it, you just led me on, made me think I actually had a chance to get you back, but at the first sign of me doing something you don’t like, you’re out.” He stood up. “You know what, Katie? I’m tired.” He went down the steps and on toward his car.
Katie’s heart quivered, but she didn’t dare call him back. He paused with the door open, one foot in the car. “I’m sorry,” he called. “Will that ever be good enough?”
She wanted to reply that of course it was, but she’d already spoken true when she’d said sometimes sorry wasn’t enough. Heather needed more than sorry. She deserved more. And Theo worked a lot, and Katie didn’t think this would be the only time something came up.
“I’m sorry too,” she called. “But I don’t think this is going to work out.”
Eighteen
Theo drove away from Katie’s house, the absolute worst ending to an awful day. He was utterly exhausted in every way, but he managed to get himself home and up to his condo. He stripped to his boxers and collapsed into bed, but unconsciousness didn’t steal him away, give him relief from the agony rippling through his mind.
Things were over with Katie. Again.
How could he have let that happen? Would it have been so hard to reach over Jack and get his phone? Why hadn’t he done it? He knew why, but Katie had acted like she didn’t even believe the story of him going up the bluff to Jack Harper’s house.
“Jack is crackers,” he muttered, rolling over to plug in his phone. With that done, and no alarm set for tomorrow, he was finally able to fall asleep.
But he didn’t sleep well, always just a breath away from waking up, thinking perhaps Katie had texted him and told him she was wrong, that she did want to keep trying with him, that she loved him.
But when he checked his phone in the morning, she hadn’t messaged once. He honestly hadn’t expected her to. He dressed and drove down to the community center to see Heather’s submissions. He stood in front of her painting for a while, the Saturday crowd ebbing and flowing around him.
Her backyard was his happy place too, and she’d captured the essence of it perfectly. Everything in him mourned the fact that he hadn’t been brave enough to snatch his phone and send a text last night. But he’d truly thought Jack Harper would keep him hostage all night if he did.
And he would not be hiring the man, even if he was brilliant. Which meant he needed to find someone else or send The Grocery Guys account to Dallas.
Or give it up completely.
He didn’t need more clients. He had plenty of money, and no time. No girlfriend. No happy place in her backyard. He wanted to jump in his car and rush back to her house, beg her to forgive him and give him one more chance.
But he wouldn’t. Just like he hadn’t followed her when she’d left him twenty years ago, he wasn’t going to go beg now either. He left the community center and went to the taco stand, like they’d planned last night.
His phone brightened, and he checked it. His hopes plummeted when he saw Fisher’s name on the screen. Nine-0 Club Christmas party next weekend. Is Katie your plus-one?
Theo felt like throwing up. He’d forgotten about the Nine-0 party, and he hadn’t even mentioned it to Katie yet. He actually considered that a win, as she wouldn’t have to endure that night alone now.
No, he typed out, feeling like his fingers had entered an alternate dimension where everything happened in slow motion. I’ll be coming with Ben.
Fisher called, which only annoyed Theo. But he answered with, “Thanks for almost getting me killed.”
“Wha—what?”
“Jack Harper is a nutter,” Theo said. “He almost wouldn’t let me leave his house last night, and he kept me there for hours.”
“Really? I mean, I knew he was a little eccentric.”
“He’s crazy.”
“So you’re not going to hire him?”
“No,” Theo said. “And Katie and I broke up, so I’ll just come to the party with Ben, or alone, if that’s what you would prefer.” Maybe Theo wouldn’t go at all, though he had enjoyed last year’s shindig quite a lot. It was fun to see the spouses and significant others of the other billionaires, meet their families, watch them interact on a more social level instead of talking business so much.
“You can bring Ben. How close is he to becoming a member?”
“Close, I think,” Theo said, though he hadn’t checked with Ben on his investments in a while. Ben had hired Lawrence for that, actually.
“If you’re not up for coming….” Fisher said.
“I’ll be there,” Theo said, finding it ironic that it was a promise just like that which had gotten him in trouble in the first place. He sat at a picnic table, surrounded by people, and he felt so very alone. He thought of all the things he wanted to do on this island, and who he wanted to do them with.
The monster zipline still hadn’t been conquered, and he still hadn’t eaten a burger out at the cattle ranch that Heather had told him about. He’d always wanted more hours in the day, first so he could accomplish more work, and then so he could spend them with Katie.
And now he found himself with several hours in front of him with nothing to do. Well, there was plenty of work to be done on the Gladstone Financial app, or any number of other projects. Problem was, for the first time in years, he didn’t want to do the work.
When Katie had left the first time, Theo had fallen into a slump. But he hadn’t had a problem getting up and trying something new that day.
“What did you do last time?” he wondered aloud, earning him a glance from a mother sitting with her children nearby. Theo lifted his hand in greeti
ng and got up. He walked down the beachwalk toward his condo, thinking of those days and weeks after Katie had left the first time. He’d thought if he was just successful enough, she would’ve stayed. If that second business hadn’t failed, their marriage wouldn’t have suffered the same fate.
But what if that wasn’t right?
Katie didn’t seem to care about money, something Theo had a hard time understanding. All he’d ever wanted was to provide a stable life for her and their future family. And that took success and money…didn’t it?
Theo arrived at home, his thoughts revolving around Katie and how he could get a third chance with her. With his mind preoccupied, he went over the code Lawrence needed, and he started taking notes on what needed to be changed and added. His mind had always worked well when overburdened, and that was one reason he didn’t mind feeling like he had more work to do than hours in the day.
But Katie didn’t like that. She didn’t want him to work all the time, and Theo paused and blinked, his vision a bit blurry from all the time he spent in front of the computer screen.
“I have to get her back,” he said to himself, and Ben answered, “Then go get her back.”
He looked over the top of his monitor to see his best friend standing in the doorway. “I tried,” he said. “She was so angry.”
“You know why, right?”
“I missed the festival.”
“No,” Ben said, moving forward. “You upset Heather. You broke a promise to a little girl that means the world to Katie. And there’s no way she’s going to let you hurt her daughter again.”
“I can’t be perfect,” Theo said, desperation coursing through him. “I’m going to make mistakes. I do work a lot.” And he didn’t want to change all of that. After all, in a perfect world, if he’d had to work last night, he would’ve made alternate plans with Heather to attend the festival today instead. There would’ve been compromise. Maybe some disappointment, but definitely compromise.
“You just have to decide what you want, man.” Ben exhaled as he sat down.
“I thought I knew that,” Theo said, focusing back on the screens in front of him. But the truth was, he wasn’t sure of a whole lot anymore. He knew he wanted to keep his promises at work, and in his personal life.
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