My plan was to get to Mendocino and catch a bus back to L.A. I hoped Riley wouldn’t follow. I had told her in my note that I needed to attend to problems of my own making. It would only stress me out if she was there, too. I stuck my thumb out but dropped it as the SUV rolled by without so much as a brake light. Then I saw a blue Land Cruiser. Riley’s Land Cruiser.
She pulled to a stop not ten feet away from me. I shielded my eyes against the glare of her headlights. She came after me. My heart did an excited flip-flop as her door swung open and she stepped out. She hadn’t bothered to cut the car engine or shut her door. The look on her face was enough to send my heart right back to its resting place. She looks like she’s going to kill me. I stood my ground, shivering as she stalked toward me. She stopped inches in front of me, her ice blue eyes burning me with the force of her anger. But then her face crumpled. I reached up to hug her, but she stepped back.
“Don’t.”
“Riley, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare! After what…How could you just leave?”
“I had to, damn it! People who tried to help me are dying, and I’m afraid. I explained it in the note.”
The stricken look on her face silenced me. Did you know that you can actually hear a heart breaking? It’s not a shattering sound or a hard crack, like you would think. It’s a weak pounding, a steady loss of energy, and a loss of hope—like air escaping from an inner tube. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. Especially when you’re the one who caused it.
I shook my head in frustration because all I really wanted to do was go back home with her and forget everything. I reached for her again, and even though she let me hug her this time, her body was stiff and unyielding. She stood silently as I tried to speak over the pain. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Riley, but I have to do this.”
“I’m sorry about Marcus.”
“So am I.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Find out who killed him, see if it’s somehow connected.”
She gently pushed me back so that I was no longer able to hide from her hurt. “Then I’m going with you.”
Her tone left no room for discussion. “Promise me one thing,” I said. “If anything happens to me, don’t try to help. Just leave. Come back here, or go home. Okay?”
She nodded and walked back to the car. I hesitated only a second before following. I didn’t believe her for a moment.
*
The ride back to L.A. was a tense one. Losing two friends in less than two months was more than coincidence. Smitty, a suicide? Marcus, a hate crime? And I had been framed with some phony evidence.
My mind swung back and forth between denial and paranoia. I tried to convince myself that Smitty’s death had nothing to do with me or the Harrison Canniff debacle, that he had been having family problems, but it just didn’t feel right. My reaction to the whole thing had been atypical so far. I hadn’t asked questions. I hadn’t even followed up on my request for Canniff’s autopsy report. I didn’t want to see it. To look at it would be to face up to my own guilt.
Marcus was the one who’d been digging around. He’d suspected something and now he was dead. How convenient. For someone. But who? I thought about the “serious people” Smitty had mentioned, the people who would get angry if I didn’t play the game by their rules. They had covered my ass. Had Marcus known who they were?
I looked over at Riley’s pensive features. “You okay?”
She didn’t answer, just nodded and continued to watch the road. I put my hand on her thigh and frowned when I felt the tension there. She wasn’t okay, and in truth, neither was I.
“Riley, I want you to know I’m not on a death mission here. I’m not trying to get caught. I just need to do this. Something in my gut tells me this isn’t right.”
“I know you can’t let it go, Foster.” She glanced at me, then back at the road. “They were your friends.”
“Right,” I said, relieved that she understood.
“Then why can’t you understand that I can’t let you do this alone? I love you.”
“Riley—you can’t say you love me.”
“I can. Because I do,” she said with a determination that left no room for argument.
Her words, though wonderful, elicited a menagerie of feelings ranging from guilt, unworthiness, and joy to utter and unadulterated fear.
Something Riley saw in my face made her smile. “You look like you’re ready to run again.”
I didn’t know what to say. Who was I kidding? I knew exactly what I should say. But how could I complicate things more by telling her the truth? If I loved her, I mean really loved her, would I allow her to be here with me, in danger? I should have done something, stopped things before things got so far out of hand. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Riley.
“Don’t worry Foster. I don’t expect you to tell me you love me, too. I just wanted you to understand why I couldn’t just let you go alone.”
A muscle worked in her cheek as I stared at her. “I do understand, Riley. I’m just scared. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Then you’ll have to trust that I can take care of myself.” Her voice was quiet but determined.
“Riley.” I squeezed her thigh to get her attention, but aside from a flicker of her lashes there was no response. “I’m trained for this kind of thing. I know how to handle this.”
She looked at me then. “What if you’re right?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if this does have something to do with you? What if these people caused Smitty’s death? Smitty was trained for this, too, wasn’t he?”
“If someone killed Smitty, then they could have killed Marcus. He must have found something.” Somehow I would have to gain access to the records office and find out what Marcus had discovered. I hadn’t answered her but the question hung heavily between us.
“Do you think those two detectives were planning to kill you that night?” Riley asked.
“Maybe. I’m just glad you were there to prevent whatever they had planned.”
I could hear Captain Simmons now. “Shot while resisting arrest. A tragedy. I knew her temper would land her in trouble one day. She wouldn’t accept the professional help she needed.”
I glanced over at Riley, hoping to see some softening of her expression, but she was as determined as I’d ever seen her. Whatever happened, she wasn’t going anywhere. She loved me. How could I expect anything less?
*
Our arrival in L.A. was about as uneventful as one could hope for. The night air was cool and crisp. Riley’s friend had left the marquee on above the theater, probably in order to keep people from parking in the parking lot and doing illegal things. Riley cut the motor on the truck. Before I could say a word, she was out the door and had disappeared into the darkness. I frowned. It was perfectly understandable that she would be stressed, but her uncommunicative behavior was starting to get on my nerves. I hadn’t asked her to come with me, and as far as I was concerned, my job would be easier if didn’t have to worry about her.
I followed her into the theater, puzzled by her mood. My failure to follow through with a Hollywood “I love you” moment weighed on me. But I couldn’t just gush the way some people did five minutes after they met. I did have feelings for Riley—in fact, I loved her. But I wasn’t free to explore my feelings right now. Until I could offer Riley what any woman in love deserved—a partner not in jail—I wasn’t going there.
“I never thought I would see this place again,” she said as we entered her neat little apartment.
“Me, either.” My anger and frustration faded as she dropped our bags and leaned back against the kitchen counter with a weary sigh. Riley was putting herself in danger for me. Of course she was worried. I would be, too, if the shoe were on the other foot.
“I’m sorry for putting you through this,” I said gently. “I know it’s not an ideal…beginning.”
I went over and
drew her to me. For a brief instant she was rigid in my arms, then she melted into me. “I just don’t want it to end,” she said.
I nodded, wondering what I had done to deserve her in my life. “I know. I don’t either. And when this is all over, we’ll start fresh, like two normal people.”
“Where will you begin?” I could tell she was making an effort to keep her voice light.
“I need to find out exactly how Marcus died. Stacy just told me they were classifying it as a hate crime. Then I want to find out what he was up to.” Hopefully he wasn’t still digging around in the stuff connected to me. “Either way, Marcus is dead, and someone is going to pay.”
She stepped away from me and pretended to look for something in my bag. I reached past her and pulled out a cloth I’d used to clean the guns. Sitting on the bed, I removed the clip from one gun and began to clean it.
She said, “I missed my brother Brad’s birthday.”
Brad is her brother? Of course he’s your brother, you idiot. “Did you call him?”
“Yes, but it’s not the same. I was supposed to be there.”
I caught on. Here was the reason for her brooding and monosyllabic replies for most of the ten hours we’d been driving. From the little Riley had told me, hey were a close-knit family, the kind I used to dream of belonging to when I was up in my room alone reading Trixie Belden mysteries and dreaming of being a detective. That was way before I became disillusioned with the world. There was a certain amount of sweetness in ignorance.
Relieved that I wasn’t in the hot seat, I said, “You could take some of the money and hop a flight. You’d be there in a few hours.”
“You’re trying to get rid of me.”
I smiled at the trace of laughter in her tone. “Maybe. I mean, if you’re here I’ll only want to make love with you, and that’s going to be a distraction.”
Riley lifted her eyes from my mouth. We stared at each other. She stopped whatever she was doing with our folded clothing and said, “I think you should get undressed.”
I insisted on a shower before bed, much to Riley’s chagrin. By the time we headed to her narrow bed, we were both yawning. I thought for sure Riley would be asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. I was wrong.
My hips rose off the bed and were suddenly held down by two strong hands. Riley’s tongue was tormenting me. Every time I tried to quicken my pace, she would stop me or slow down. I wanted to tell her to stop teasing, but I couldn’t seem to verbalize anything other than a whimper or a moan. She sucked my tormented bundle of nerves between her lips and began working her tongue across the tip, sending me into convulsions. Her hands gripped my buttocks and held me firmly in place. My stomach muscles clenched and I gripped the bedding so hard I could hear the sheets coming loose at the corners. I sobbed her name and couldn’t seem to make myself shut up. She gentled her tongue as my orgasm slowed.
I blinked up at the dim outline of the clouds on her ceiling and vaguely wondered if I was too old to start an active sex life. My heart felt like it was about to burst from my chest at any moment. My hand went to the dark head that now lay on my hip. It was a long while before I was capable of speaking.
“You’re going to kill me one day, baby.” I let my fingers sink into her thick hair with a final deep sigh.
She grinned. “Not unless I can go with you.”
“Oh, yeah? You want to go together, huh? Well, we’ll see about that.”
I pulled her up the bed, probably because she was allowing me to. If someone would have told me that I would make love all night after driving all the way from Albion to Los Angeles, I would have reminded them that crack kills. But I just couldn’t seem to get enough of her.
We wrestled playfully for a moment until I pinned her hands above her head and began placing little kisses up her neck and along her jawline and finally around her right ear. I heard her gasp as I eased my leg between her thighs and began to move teasingly against her.
“You are so wet, Riley.”
Her response a shiver. She turned her head. The braid she usually wore had long since come undone, leaving the delicate curve of her right ear exposed to my lips as I moved against her. I kissed her ear again and felt her inhale sharply. I looked down to make sure she was okay, and noticed that she was biting her bottom lip. I kissed her ear again, and she had the same reaction. Frowning, I slowed my movements.
“Do you like that, baby?” I whispered.
She inhaled again, her breathing so ragged it scared me a little. Riley didn’t make much noise when we made love; I’d noticed that the first time we were together.
“Sweetheart, is it okay?” I whispered again, and the hands that were always gently on my waist helping me to move against her suddenly tightened and small chill bumps rose on the skin just below her collarbone. She was more than okay. She really liked this. I cupped her head with my hands and put my lips to the curve of her ear.
“Riley, I can feel how much you want me.” I continued to whisper, “I love how wet you are. How you smell. How you grit your teeth when you’re close. How you watch me when I have an orgasm. Does that turn you on, baby? Knowing how much I want you?” A small noise escaped from her throat but other than that, she continued to move in rhythm with me. “I love touching you,” I whispered, my eyes closing as her breathing became even raspier. “I love feeling how strong and hard you are underneath such soft skin.”
She moaned, and my body delighted at the sound. I could tell she was losing control. What was thrilling was that I was barely moving against her now. My thigh firmly pressed into her center, I whispered hotly into her right ear, “But you know what I love most of all?” She answered with a swallow and shake of her head. “I love how you look when you come.”
I let my lips graze her ear, and her grip on my hips tightened. A deep groan escaped her normally silent lips, and I held on to her as her hips began to move violently. I slowed my movements in gradual increments, letting her dictate when she wanted me to stop. Finally her hips sank weakly onto the bed. I remained pressed firmly against her, so I knew she was still experiencing small convulsions.
She looked too vulnerable to be allowed out of my eyesight. “Wow,” I mouthed, making her blush, which turned me on even more. “You okay?”
“Yes,” she said her eyes pasted someplace to the right of my shoulder. I moved my head until she was forced to look me in the eye. The time for shyness had passed a long time ago for us.
“You should have told me you liked being talked to.”
“I didn’t know.”
“So nobody else has ever talked while…?”
“No.”
“Oh.” I smiled down at her, and she got the cutest look on her face. I think I need to perfect my technique a little.
“Again? I thought you were tired from the drive?”
“I didn’t drive. You did.” I cupped both sides of her face and moved my thigh closer, smiling as I felt her clench against me.
I slowly and gently turned her head and lowered my own until my lips were grazing the delicate ridge of her right ear. “Can you hear me, sweetheart?” I whispered. She gasped and nodded. “I’m in love with you, Riley Medeiros.”
She gasped and she moved as if she was going to turn away, but I had to finish before I chickened out. “I’m going to love you with everything I have because I know it will never be good enough. Do you hear me?”
Her “yes” was mangled by tears and moans of pleasure, but I heard her.
Chapter Seventeen
We’d been parked across the street from Pollard’s Billiards for ten minutes and no one had gone in or come out. Granted, it was twelve in the afternoon, but I had always found this place open no matter what time of day it was.
“You sure you don’t want me to go in alone?” Riley asked nervously as we stared at the deserted-looking bar.
“No, Big Sherm won’t talk to you. He doesn’t know you.”
“What if he goes to the police?” she asked
worriedly. “They would know you’re in L.A.”
“Trust me, there’s no love lost between Sherm and the police.”
“From what you told me, he’s not crazy about you, either.”
“Okay, I’m going to go around the back and see what’s happening. Do you want to wait here?”
“No.” Riley looked for the entire world like she was ready for a fight.
We got out of the car and crossed the road. I’d traded in my blue jeans for black cargo pants and a black T-shirt. I still wore the sunglasses, just in case someone might recognize me looking blonde and sexually satisfied.
I tried the front door out of habit. As I’d expected, it was locked, though I was positive there were people just inside, probably watching us on a monitor. We went around the back and I hammered on the back door with my fist. I probably put a little more into it than I needed to, but hell, I was more than a little frustrated with my life right now.
“Who the fuck is it?” a bodiless voice yelled from the other side.
“None of your fucking business,” I yelled. “I’m here to see Big Sherm.”
A square plate near the top of the door slid back and angry brown eyes shifted from me to Riley. They seemed to linger on Riley for a moment, no doubt reading her as muscle I’d brought along for respect. The little window slammed shut, and I was about to hammer on it again when I heard a metal bar being removed and several locks being turned. The door was swung open by none other than Homeboy.
He hitched his thumb in an obscure direction behind him. “Sherm’s in the back.”
I pushed past him, leaving Riley to follow. I fought down the insane urge to stop right there and ask her if she still loved me. I mean, she couldn’t just change her mind, could she? I know I couldn’t. My chest literally felt like someone had stuffed dirty rags into it by way of my throat, making sure to scrape every surface as they passed. Instead I made a beeline for the room I had seen Sherm in the last time we were there, and found him sitting in the exact same place.
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