Rockstar Retreat

by Summer Cooper

  “So you’re saying she might not take the settlement?” Suddenly Richard stopped abruptly and leaned heavily on his son’s chair.

  Steve gulped. “I’m not sure. Her sister was just telling her to read everything very carefully.”

  “Bah!” Richard threw up his hands. “You told me she would like it!”

  “I thought she would! I didn’t count on her sister being there. She doesn’t even live here; she’s from Los Angeles. I had no idea she’d stick around this long.”

  “That doesn’t matter. All that matters now is finding a way to keep all of this quiet. Do you know what will happen if anyone — anyone — finds out?” Richard clenched his teeth and spoke with such force that it frightened Steve. It was a rhetorical question. The hospital would be subject to endless lawsuits and federal investigations. It would destroy the careers of everyone in leadership positions — he included. Steve had planned on learning hospital policy and procedure from the ground up, posing as an intern from the very beginning, which is how he met Jenn. Now that he had been thrown into the mess that was the cover-up of a scandal, he knew his own future was on the line.

  The one thing Steve’s father couldn’t understand was Steve’s love for Jenn. Despite everything they’d been through together, Steve knew his relationship with Jenn was still strong; she cared for him and depended on him. Although their official relationship had only been in the books for a few weeks, he already felt deeply committed to her.

  Then, as if he was reading Steve’s mind, Richard spoke again. “How long have you and this girl been dating, again? A few weeks?” Steve nodded. “Is there anything you can do to, you know, help?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Help. Take it to the next level. Make her think you really want the best for her.”

  Steve felt the rising warmth of anger rising in his chest. “I really do want the best for her, Dad!”

  Richard raised his hands in mock celebration. “Even better! Then take it to the next level. What can you do to promise her this is the right action for her?”

  “But it’s only been a few weeks...”

  “I don’t care, Steve. Find something. Pledge yourself to her. Get one of those purity rings or something.”

  “Uh, Dad, I don’t think purity’s an option at this point.”

  Richard glared at his son. “Then do something to show how committed you are to her,” he said. “We need her to take this settlement. Tell her I’ll— I’ll even bump up the cash from $300,000 to $500,000. We need this to end. Now.”

  Steve got the message. The next day, when he paid Jenn a visit, his heart was practically beating up into his throat, he was so nervous about talking to Jenn about his father’s ideas. He put on his best poker face and gave Jenn a fierce kiss and a tight hug. “Is Kenzie here?” he asked nonchalantly after a moment.

  “No, she went with my parents to the store. Why?”

  “Oh, no reason. Listen, I have to ask you something.” Steve took both her hands and gazed fondly into her eyes.

  Jenn’s heart started to beat faster. What is? No. It’s not what I think it is.... “Steve, don’t....” Her boyfriend shushed her. “No, listen, I think it’s time. Will you— will you be my girlfriend?” He pulled out a small black box from his jacket pocket and opened it to reveal a beautiful silver-chained necklace with a blue-green gem on the end of it.

  Jenn was surprised. That’s not what I was expecting. “Um, aren’t we already dating?”

  “Well, yeah, but I thought girls liked that sort of fancy gesture. And I wanted to do something nice for you.”

  Jenn smiled. “Aww, thank you, honey,” she said, standing on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “This is really sweet. And of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” She laughed. “I thought that was a given.”

  Steve smiled and led Jenn to the kitchen table, where he sat her down first and then took his own seat. “Listen, I have some great news. My father said he’d up the settlement amount to $500,000. What do you think? Have you had a chance to read through everything yet?”

  Jenn shifted uncomfortably. “Listen, Steve, about that.”

  Uh oh, he thought, this isn’t going to be good.

  I read the whole thing and I’m just not sure about the settlement. I just don’t know about never being able to talk about it ever again, you know? It was such a huge thing, and I— well, I can’t make that promise. You understand, right?”

  Goddamn it, Kenzie. Steve knew Jenn would have been much more likely to agree to his father’s proposal prior to the conversation with her sister. He filled with immediate frustration, but he forced a smile and nodded. “Sure, I do, Jenn. You know I want what’s best for you.” He clasped his hands together on the table. “Think of it this way, though. A lawsuit could take months, years, even, and it’ll be a long process. I just don’t want to see you keep hurting by having to bring everything up repeatedly. Don’t you want to leave all this behind you?”

  Jenn was quiet for a moment. In a way, Steve was right. Jenn barely had a concept of time at this point, since every day ran together — some days she lived in the present, other days she was stuck in the nightmares of the past. It was absolutely true that if she chose to pursue legal action, what had already been a long year at St. Benedict Regional Medical Center would turn into an even longer one, and last longer than a year, probably. She did want to leave everything behind her and move on with her life, but she couldn’t fathom how to begin that process. It still was all too new, too raw for her to comprehend. If there was a way to forget anything had ever happened to her, Jenn might have taken it. Maybe taking the settlement and leaving would be the best thing to do. But —

  “No,” Jenn said firmly.

  “What?” Steve was taken aback. He leaned back against his chair and crossed his arms, in shock.

  “No, I don’t want to leave everything in the past.” Jenn’s voice had hardened. She rose from her chair and stood tall. “Everything that happened in the past is what made my present a living hell, Steve. I can’t leave that behind. It’s a part of me now.”

  Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jenn had never raised her voice around him. While he gaped at her, she stood up and started pacing around the kitchen.

  Jenn wasn’t sure what had gotten into herself, either; all she knew was she was fired up and was starting to feel good again. “I have to tell people about what happened to me, Steve. You don’t understand. How am I going to survive without talking about it? How can I move on? I can’t change what happened to me, but it changed me. I can use it to help change others. If people know about this, then— then—“Jenn floundered for words. “It can never happen again.”

  Steve stared. “But, Jenn, the money. That’s a lot of money. Think about how much you’d save by just settling with us.”

  “With us?” Jenn’s eyes slowly started filling with tears. “So you and the hospital are an ‘us’ now?” Then she understood what Steve was saying, and she clapped a hand over her mouth in disgust. “You just want me to take the money and leave, so you can ride your dad’s coattails. You don’t care about me at all.”

  Steve tried to stand and comfort Jenn, but she started crying. Her breathing picked up, and her nose began to run. She was in hysterics, slowly putting more of the pieces together. Then she looked down in horror at the necklace Steve had just given her. “This was a setup, wasn’t it? Just something to shut me up.” Jenn pulled it off her neck angrily; the small links broke easily.

  “No, baby, listen—“

  “No, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Get out.”

  “Jenn—“

  “Leave. Now.”

  Steve took two steps backward, in shock, but he obliged, and walked out to his car with rage in his steps. How dare she? How dare she blow off all the things this hospital has done for her?

  Inside, Jenn was breathing erratically, and tears were flowing freely down her face. She put her hands level on the kitchen tabl
e, but she couldn’t stop them from shaking. Frustrated with everything happening in her life, she suddenly looked up again and slammed one closed fist down hard on the table, letting out a yell. Then she did the first thing she could think of: she picked up the phone and called Andrew.

  4

  “Hello?” he said when he answered, barely audible above a rush of voices and activity in the phone on the other end.

  “Hi, it’s Jenn. Sorry if you’re busy. I just wanted to talk.”

  “Jenn! No, uh, I’m not busy.” In his crowded office, surrounded by the senior partners at the firm, Andrew hushed them with a quick gesture and banished them to take a private phone call. When the last person closed the door on the way out, he slumped down in his chair, put his head in his hands and breathed into the phone, “What’s going on?”

  Jenn launched into it. Her conversations with Kenzie about whether to take the settlement, the triggers from dreams she’d had while under Dr. Blake’s care, the doubts she was having about Steve. Andrew listened with patience and compassion while Jenn spoke, not knowing what to say. She told him of her fight with Steve that afternoon, how he’d given her the necklace seemingly as a bribe to get her to take the settlement, how she didn’t appreciate him pressuring him, how she was worried he was only acting as his father’s pawn. “It’s just... I don’t know what to do. Kenzie thinks I’m being silly for considering the settlement, and Steve thinks I’m being stupid for not considering it. I ... I didn’t know who else to go to. I’m sorry.” She got quiet suddenly. Andrew didn’t speak either.

  “Can you come to my office? We can talk more here, or, better yet, come to the café next to my office. I’ll buy you lunch. We can talk about everything.”

  When Jenn arrived, Andrew was waiting for her in a secluded booth in the corner of the room. The café was largely empty, but Jenn appreciated the privacy of a corner table anyway. She felt her eyes dried of all their tears and her heart was too heavy to comprehend anything anymore. Throughout the lunch, Andrew only listened to her, barely saying a sentence or two the entire two hours they spent together. Jenn lost control of herself and spilled everything she was feeling.

  By the end of it, when Jenn was out of words to say and out of tears to cry, she stared at the table. Andrew reached across the table slowly and grabbed her hand timidly. “Jenn. I appreciate you telling me this, and I want you to know I’m here for you. I’m here for you as an attorney and a confident, and I hope you can trust me as a friend, too.”

  Jenn sniffed. “Thank you and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all this on you. It just happened so fast and I...” she trailed off, shaking her head overwhelmed by it all.

  Andrew stood up, holding out his arms.

  Jenn was surprised, but stood up to meet him.

  He approached her awkwardly, but put his arms around her and patted her quickly on the back in a loose hug.

  She was cold, and she appreciated the warmth his body provided against hers. She could feel the tears starting to fall again but clenched her eyes shut even tighter, trying to ignore them, trying to pretend she had nothing to cry about. “Thank you,” she whispered. They separated and Andrew gave her another smile before they both left the café.

  When Jenn returned to her car, she pulled out her phone: four missed calls from Steve, and one voicemail. As soon as she saw the icons on her screen, her anger returned, and she threw her phone down on the passenger seat and held her head with her hands. I can’t deal with this right now. I just can’t. She breathed deeply a few times and managed to maintain her composure. She didn’t even feel nervous when she dialed his number to call him back; she felt empty and disappointed.

  He answered impatiently. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer my calls?” The tone of his voice was sharp and hateful, and she immediately felt annoyed with him all over again.

  “I was out to lunch.”

  “With whom?”

  None of your business, Jenn thought, and for a split second, she debated saying it aloud, too. “I met with Andrew.”

  “Your attorney, Andrew what’s-his-name? Jenn, what is there to discuss? You saw the settlement — remember, my father increased it, too.”

  “I don’t know, Steve....

  Steve could feel his blood pressure rising, but he knew he had to hold his tongue. “Jenn, this is your decision. You shouldn’t have other people making it for you. If you want to understand more of what it is, I can have Bill explain it all to you.”

  “No, I’m fine with Andrew.”

  “You sure are.” Steve clenched his eyes shut; his reaction had been a gut one and he knew immediately he shouldn’t have said it, but it was too late now.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’re just spending so much time with him, that’s all.”

  There was a pause. “What are you saying, Steve? You don’t want me to consult with my attorney?”

  Steve sighed, exasperated. “That’s fine. I just think he’s... inadequate for this situation. You should really talk to Bill—“

  “Steve, no. I’m happy with Andrew. Please don’t bring it up. I don’t want to talk about it.” Jenn hung up the phone. Her drive home was long and uncomfortable, solitary as it was. She wanted nothing more than to lie down in her soft, warm bed and close her eyes, forgetting about everything that had happened recently. Everything good in her life had gone sour so quickly. She wanted it to be over but she didn’t know how to make that happen.

  That night she dreamed of a childhood birthday party, where she was surrounded by friends and family. Her parents decided to give her a new golden retriever puppy, which she was delighted about and started to reach for it to pet its long, soft fur. As she reached out with her small, chubby arms, the puppy looked straight into her eyes with bright green eyes, stuck out its forked red tongue and began to transform. Jenn watched with growing confusion and fright, as the puppy lost its fur and grew scales and morphed into a snake right in front of her eyes. When she looked around, suddenly she was completely alone and the snake was closing in around her, wrapping her tighter and tighter until she couldn’t breathe anymore and the world went black.

  Jenn woke up in a pool of her own sweat. She hadn’t had a dream like that since she had visited Dr. Blake; she just managed to push those images out of her head after a week, but today’s stressful events pulled them right back in again. She was in no mood to speak to anyone — except for one person. Feeling slightly guilty, as soon as the clock struck 9 a.m., she dialed Andrew’s number again. When he answered, she immediately regretted wasting his time.

  “It’s Jenn. Sorry. I just— Steve and I had a fight again last night. He thinks I’m spending too much time with you and I should switch attorneys. It’s ridiculous.” Jenn talked for several minutes straight. “I’m sorry. I’m ranting again. I’ll let you go.”

  “Wait, Jenn—” Andrew butted in. “Don’t worry about it. I can’t give you relationship advice, I’m sorry, but here’s what I will say. I think he’s leading you astray because, well, he’s the next in line for the hospital’s throne. I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear. I think it’s accurate. He’s pressuring you.” He paused and waited for Jenn to respond, but she said nothing, so he took a deep breath and went on. “Jenn, $500,000 is still a drop in the bucket compared to what we can get you.”

  “I don’t care about the money,” Jenn burst out. “I mean, I do. I’ve reached the point where I just want people to know about it. I don’t want to be quiet about it.”

  “I know. That’s what I’m here for. We’re going to go after them. The other partners here think I’m crazy for wanting you to do it, too, but I think you can get a ton of exposure and get exactly what you want.”

  “Really?” Jenn perked up. Andrew’s excitement was the best thing she’d heard all day, and she couldn’t wait to visit with him and hear his ideas again.

  “Yeah. I’m going to be out of town this weekend. I have a potential witness to interview �
� another victim of Blake’s — but I’ll be back on Monday. I hope to get a lot done and a lot more support in the next few days, but come by at the end of the day on Monday and we’ll talk.”

  “Okay, that sounds... great.” Jenn suddenly felt very light, like her emotional burdens had lifted just by hearing Andrew’s soft, reassuring voice. When they hung up their phones, she felt a strange nervousness in her stomach; it was a pull, an ache that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. As the hours and days passed since she last talked to Andrew, she realized Andrew caused those feelings: the butterflies in her stomach, the giddy excitement of having strong feelings for someone. Monday couldn’t come quickly enough.

  5

  Jenn stayed in her bedroom for most of the weekend, calling Kenzie on the phone now and then — she had returned to L.A. a few days earlier — and reluctantly accompanying her parents to church social events. Mainly she wanted to be alone, and she spent most of her time listening to music and working on unfinished pieces in her sketchbook. Steve called her twice every day, but Jenn never picked up. She was debating whether to end things with him, but she didn’t want to expend the effort to debate it with herself now; she wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder, she thought with dull hope. Steve was acting unforgivably, she thought, and she couldn’t afford to wait any longer to see if his character would change. He was totally different to her now.

  On the other hand, she knew everyone was involved in a stressful situation, and she wasn’t sure if what she was feeling was genuine or just due to the current situation. In any event, she was pleased to have the house to herself for a few hours on Monday afternoon before heading to Andrew’s office. Jenn took extra care with her outfit that afternoon, standing in just a towel in front of her full-length mirror as she held up countless clothing items to decide what to wear. Form-fitting khaki pants? Too business casual. A dress above the knee? No, too eager. What about this high-waisted skirt and loose blouse? That looks cute. She put in a pair of dangly silver earrings and a matching bangle bracelet and stood inspecting herself happily in the mirror for several minutes. This was the most energy she had had in days.