Leave Me Breathless

by HelenKay Dimon

  When he finished and lifted his hands, the lopsided knot resembled something a fifth grader might do. Getting dressed proved to be one more skill he lost around her. Rational thought and common sense being the two main others.

  “Here, let me.” She turned him to face her.

  He wanted to resist, but saying no to her about anything grew harder each day. When they caught the stalker and life at the courthouse settled back into a manageable routine, she would leave. That reality burrowed into his head until it shook him.

  “It looked fine,” he grumbled.

  She undid his pathetic excuse for handiwork. “If you were going to a Halloween party as a kid dressed in his daddy’s suit, maybe.”

  Her knuckles brushed against the hollow of his throat. With each pass, his body warmed and tightened. That’s all it took these days—a knowing look, the lingering touch of her hand anywhere on his bare skin. His lower half stayed in the locked and loaded position at all times around her.

  Hell, he hadn’t had this many erections since high school. Proved that being a lawyer didn’t have to suck the sexual life out of a guy. Good to know.

  Make that great; however, they still had a problem. She would leave and soon. The courthouse sheriff, the administrative judge, the police, Mark—every able-bodied law enforcement person in the metro area on the case wanted it brought to closure. Many offices aimed significant resources at getting the stalker’s identity and then putting him in jail.

  All good things except for the part where his time with Callie would wind down with a surety that made him want to punch on the brakes. Hell, he hadn’t even been in his own bed in more than a week. Suddenly his life revolved around Callie. He refused to let the stalker matter, but Callie definitely did.

  The answer to the problem managed to be simple and difficult at the same time: the dating wouldn’t stop. He’d ask her to stick with him even as her work commitments took her somewhere else. They’d find time in the evenings, on weekends, between work travel and personal issues. The important thing was for her to stay in his life.

  She snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Ben? Come back to me.”

  He shook his head to clear out the image of him and Callie going on a weekend getaway to a place without the news and stalkers and courthouses and anything else that would get in the way of keeping them naked. “Excuse me?”

  “No.” She laughed as she said it.

  “What?”

  She pressed her palms against his cheeks. “You’re not excused.”

  Her amusement caused the ramping up inside of him to unwind again. “Any reason in particular?”

  “Well, Mr. Hoity, there’s the part where you refuse to trust me.”

  Her perception sobered him. “That’s not true.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Everything is going to be okay tonight. I promise.”

  He wanted to stay focused, but her sweet smile lured him in. Hands on her hips, he pulled her in close, letting her feel the attraction surging through him. “You can’t be sure of that.”

  “I know I can shoot and kick when I have to.”

  He peeked down the scooped neck of the material and saw the inviting tops of her breasts. “In this dress?”

  “You like it?”

  “There isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t. I think you know that and that’s why you wore it.” No question she chose it to drive him fucking insane. Standing across from her in the courthouse lobby during the party, watching her hips swing and her toned legs move in perfect precision, would make every minute pass like a decade. She knew it and planned to torture him with it.

  “I picked it because I wanted to see you drag it off of me.”

  “Sounds good to me.” His hands found the zipper and started tugging.

  She swatted at him. “Not now. After.”

  He tried one more shot at being reasonable. Even though Callie had developed an immunity to the strategy, he couldn’t let the matter drop. Not yet. “I don’t want you to do this.”

  “I’ll be fine. Now shut that pretty mouth of yours and kiss me.” She threw him off with her wistful smile.

  “Why?”

  “You need a reason?”

  “No.”

  “Good answer.”

  She lifted her mouth to his and planted a long, wandering kiss on his lips. One that took his breath and started the countdown to clothes on the floor.

  Just as the fire flared, she dropped her head on his shoulder. “Man, you’re good at that.”

  “We could stay and see where this goes.”

  “Or we can go and see this other part to the end.”

  The end. Just the word he didn’t want to hear.

  “Do we all understand the plan?” Mark asked at the small gathering around the sofa in Ben’s office.

  Mark insisted they all arrive an hour before the reception to go over details. On his fourth run-through, Callie started dozing off. She could only hear a plan so many times before her internal radio switched on.

  Having worked cases, she knew things rarely went as projected. Her goal was to stay alive and make sure Ben stayed that way, too. If she got a glass of champagne and caught a stalker out there, well, those would just be bonuses.

  Emma nodded in response to Mark’s latest rehash. She stood by the door, her eyes downcast, looking ready to bolt.

  Callie hoped to maneuver Emma into a quiet corner later and see what was wrong. Her face looked drawn, and the sparkle in her eyes, the one that appeared whenever she saw Mark, had been extinguished. They walked in like robots earlier, side by side, not touching or talking. They had taken serious steps not to look at each other since. Only ten feet separated the two, but Callie had a feeling she could put the entire courthouse between them when it came to their emotional divide.

  “Got it,” Ben said from beside her on the couch. “We’re good.”

  As far as Callie was concerned he certainly ranked better than good. His black suit highlighted his muscular frame. In a robe, a suit, or even naked, the man looked mighty fine. Being seen on his arm wouldn’t be a hardship. Well, it would in terms of the gossip grind. People already believed they slept together. Tonight, when she walked in as his date, they would know what they only now assume. Mail loops would jump to life. The stares and whispers would overwhelm on Monday.

  She wasn’t sure she even cared anymore. Spending days together taught her to respect and appreciate him. The laughter, the sex, the closeness gave way to something else. Like it or not, she was falling for him. The deep and stupid type of falling. Where the initial physical attraction struck from out of nowhere, this love snuck up quiet and soft. She tried to block it, even joke it away as a by-product of a great time in bed. None of that got the job done. Ben had worked his way into her head and her heart, finding a home there, and now refused to budge.

  Ben leaned over and whispered, “You okay? You don’t have to do this.”

  “Yes, she does.” Mark’s stern tone begged for a fight. The way his hands curled into fists, he was ready to go.

  “I wasn’t talking to you,” Ben said in an equally rough voice.

  Callie was not about to engage in any male silliness. Not when both men looked so nice and proper in their dressy business suits. “I’m set.”

  Mark nodded. “Then let me catch you all up on the Rod and Scott situations.”

  Callie looked around the room. “There are situations?”

  “Is this necessary?” Emma asked.

  “If you want to stay alive it is.” Mark didn’t even glance in Emma’s direction as he spoke. “I have men posted around the party. Two are with the food service folks. Two will be stationed in the crowd. The sheriff has his men on alert.”

  “What does this have to do with the clerks?” Ben adjusted his sleeve as his gaze traveled between Emma and his brother.

  Callie gave Ben credit for sensing the tension. It descended on the room until it choked her. Even though he claimed to “get” m
ost things, she doubted he truly understood what happened. She sure as hell didn’t. A relationship explosion of some sort was her guess.

  Mark stood behind one of the chairs, tapping his pen against the cloth. “Rod has a degree in science.”

  “So?” Ben asked.

  “Wouldn’t be hard for him to build a bomb or oversee it being done.”

  Callie thought this would be the perfect place for the eye roll, only it didn’t really go with her dress, so she refrained. “Even I have to say that’s a tenuous link, and I hate that kid. He’s a pompous ass. Being able to handle beakers doesn’t turn him into a crazed attacker.”

  “Well, the feeling is mutual.” The pen disappeared into Mark’s jacket pocket and out came a small notepad. He flipped through the pages. “From our courthouse sources it’s clear Rod is making a stink about you. He hasn’t mentioned the FBI, but he has made other nasty comments. Also has quite the e-mail campaign going, and some of the websites he’s searched are questionable. I’d read you this list but it’d scare the hell out of you.”

  “What does that mean?” Ben asked.

  “The information he would need for the bomb, to go around undetected on a stalking campaign, it’s all on there.”

  “I told you that kid was a shit.” Pisher no longer seemed strong enough, so Callie changed nicknames for him.

  “He’s been investigating dangerous subjects—all of them perfect for getting rid of people he didn’t like.”

  Ben leaned forward with his elbows balanced on his knees. “Doesn’t make sense. Why the grudge against me? I’ve never been anything but decent to him. Other than the Callie situation, we’ve gotten along fine.”

  One thing Callie did know. Men are idiots. “I’m a situation now?”

  Ben smiled. “You know what I mean.”

  Mark snapped the notebook shut. “We’re still digging on that one.”

  “And Scott?” Emma asked. Her gaze skipped around the room before finally landing on Mark. “Are you still on a rampage about him?”

  Callie decided to back Emma up on this one since the vein on Mark’s forehead looked ready to pop. “I have to admit that I don’t see it.”

  “Both of you ladies have a soft spot for Scott.” Marked hitched his chin in his brother’s direction. “But he has a history with Ben.”

  Ben froze. “He does?”

  “Ben presided over Scott’s parents’ divorce.” From his curled lower lip to the clipped tone, Mark was almost smug as he dropped that one.

  Emma gave a little snort. “That is not news.”

  Callie felt as if she kept running toward the bus, but it just moved farther away. These three had shared so much that she got cast in the role of permanent outsider. It annoyed the crap out of her. She wanted to be part of the inside jokes and in on the stories from the past. Instead, she had to play catch-up all the damn time.

  Instead of screaming, she settled for a calm question. “So everyone knows about Scott’s tie to Ben but me?”

  Ben dropped his hands in front of him. “I didn’t.”

  For some reason, that admission beat back the frustrated longing growing in Callie. For once in her life she wasn’t stuck on the outside looking for a way in.

  Emma waved them all off. “It’s not a surprise to me. Scott told me all about the history when he interviewed for the clerk position. Said he got interested in the law because of his parents’ divorce.”

  “You didn’t think to tell me that before now?” Mark’s anger thumped like a caged beast.

  Emma didn’t even spare him a glance. “No.”

  Whatever had passed between them, the fight had been a killer. Callie could see that in the stiff way Emma held her body as if waiting for the blows from Mark to land. “Anything else, Emma?”

  “Scott said the divorce ripped the family apart. He talked about the way Ben handled everything. Scott insisted that had a huge impact on the choices he made from there.”

  Mark nodded. “Sounds ominous.”

  Emma shot him a don’t-be-a-moron scowl. “Well, it wasn’t. It was flattering to Ben.”

  “I don’t remember the kid at all.” Ben shook his head. “Or his parents, for that matter.”

  “It was a long time ago,” Mark said.

  Callie gnawed on her bottom lip. When the opportunity came before, she let it go. This time, she had to put Scott’s odd comments on the table. “And a bad time for Ben and his career.”

  Ben eased back against the couch, his shoulder touching hers. “What do you mean?”

  No way she could back down now. “You had to leave the family law bench, right?”

  All three stared at her, but only Ben answered. “No.”

  She felt as if she were breaking a confidence, but his safety mattered more than his discomfort. If this held true to the rest of their relationship, Emma and Mark already knew the details. “Ben, look, I know this isn’t the time to bring this up, but—”

  If it was possible for three mouths to drop in unison, it happened. Callie couldn’t help but be awed by the sight.

  “What are you talking about?” Ben asked, the confusion obvious in his voice.

  Nowhere to run now. “Scott told me you had to be removed from hearing family law cases. That the administrative judge, someone, took you off those cases.”

  “That’s not true. There’s a mandatory one-year rotation hearing family law cases when you join the court.” Ben looked to Emma who nodded in agreement. “I did my time and asked to get off as soon as my time was over.”

  Callie knew him well enough to see a half story when he dumped one right in her lap. “But something did happen, right?”

  “He’s not hiding anything. It’s not a secret,” Emma said in her best Momma Bear protective tone.

  “It’s not very pleasant, either.” With each word slow and measured, Ben started talking. “An angry husband killed his wife and kid after I ruled on alimony and child support. He preferred to see them dead rather than to pay them money.”

  The shock came fast and hard. Callie heard stories on the news all the time with that ending. Knowing Ben stood in the middle of one made her heart bleed for him. “That’s awful.”

  “I wish I could say it never happens, but it does.” He studied the back of his hands as if they were the most interesting things ever. “Emotions run high; people are at their worst. This one drew a lot of attention because a child was involved.”

  “I actually prefer hearing criminal cases to the divorce matters, or I did before the Jenner disaster.” Emma talked into the air as if lost in thought. “Contested custody cases amount to pure bloodbaths.”

  Ben tried to brush off the horror by making it into something ordinary, but Callie knew better. Such a devastating act would touch him, torment him, until he figured out a way to handle the misplaced guilt. Intellectually he moved on, but Callie wondered how much stayed with him. “Was Scott related to the dad who—?”

  “No.”

  Mark didn’t look convinced. “Could he be associated with the case?”

  “If so, he sure as hell hides it well.” Ben’s hands moved faster. “I’ve never had a problem with the kid. Hell, I barely talk to him most days. Just pleasantries in the morning. That sort of thing.”

  Callie had seen that and knew Ben’s perception was dead on. “But why does he think you were forced out of family law cases?”

  “No idea. Maybe he got some old gossip confused.”

  “He knew about you and Emma and her…” Callie looked at Mark then Emma.

  “Fiancé. You can say the word.” Emma’s tight smile looked as if it cost her something to offer it.

  “I was trying to be tactful,” Callie grumbled under her breath, knowing she had failed pretty big on that score.

  “Really?” Ben feigned shock. “Are you trying to learn new skills?”

  “You’re hysterical.”

  Ben held out his hands. “Just call me the funny judge.”

  “Maybe that�
�s why you got that most eligible bachelor thing.”

  Ben dropped his arms back to his sides. “You can’t stop yourself. You just have to keep bringing that up.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  Mark cleared his throat. “Okay, that’s it. I’ll look into the Scott angle. I’ve had trouble with him ever since I saw him on the security tape sliding the note under Ben’s door. His explanation checked out, but it could have been part of his plan. In the meantime, you guys stay sharp.” Mark headed for the door, pausing only for Emma to shift out of the way so he could pivot around her without them touching.

  Callie saw Emma flinch at Mark’s coldness. Standing up, Callie walked over to the other woman. She’d never been all that good at the comfort thing, or the sisterhood thing, or most other girlie things, but she could see the hurt and betrayal in every line of Emma’s face. She almost doubled over from the pain of whatever passed with Mark.

  “Are you okay?”

  Emma flashed an overly bright smile. “Of course.”

  Callie looked to Ben for reinforcement. When he didn’t immediately join in, she threw him a bug-eyed, stop-being-a-dumbass look and he jumped to his feet.

  “Can we help?” Callie asked, not knowing what she would do if Emma said yes.

  “With what?”

  Ben stood in front of Emma with his arms crossed and stared down at one of his oldest friends. “What did he do?”

  Callie liked the stern, kicking-butt look. She wanted him to step up and help and he did. He didn’t merely play the role of the rock-solid guy who rarely disappointed. He lived it. Even before she really knew him she could see it. The integrity and focus. He could be thick and stubborn, but under that outer layer of potential jackassery, he was a good man. The best. He loved and protected people. He felt things much deeper than he wanted to admit, as evidenced by his rough time as a family law judge.

  She might not be all that smart, but when she fell for a guy she was freaking brilliant about her choice.

  Emma stopped hiding behind the blank stare. Sadness flooded her features. “The strange thing is that he didn’t do anything but be his usual Mark self.”

  Callie cringed at the thought. Relationship Mark seemed downright dense to her.