‘It starts at half seven,’ I said, confused. The garden was as empty as the house was.
‘Never get here for the time it starts, Ad,’ he laughed. ‘How d’ya get in anyway?’
‘Door was on the latch,’ Jake said. He grabbed a bag of ice, ripped it open, and emptied it into the pool.
‘Cheers, man,’ Ed saluted Jake. He turned to me and Nathan. ‘Hey, you two don’t have to just stand there you know, grab some of those beers and chuck them in.’
I liked Ed. He was all right. He was in year thirteen, the year above us, and he was popular because all the girls fancied him, and that made him cool. We were excited to be invited to his party. Ed had been promising this party since Halloween, but his parents had kept cancelling their weekend away.
‘So you finally got rid of your parents?’ Nathan asked.
‘Yeah, they’ve gone to some posh hotel for the weekend for Dad’s Christmas work do. Thanks for wearing your costumes, anyway. Feels a bit odd now it’s not Halloween anymore, right?’
‘I like yours. It’s funny ‘cause it’s ironic.’ Jake pointed to Ed’s outfit. He was dressed as a vampire.
‘My name is Edward, couldn’t not, really, could I?’
‘So who’s gonna be your Bella then?’ I asked. Nathan elbowed me in the ribs and I scolded myself for sounding stupid.
Ed laughed. ‘I’ve got my eye on Jessica in your year. She’s friends with your Kelly, right?’ He asked Jake.
‘Jessica Terry?’ Jake asked.
‘Yep, she’s got amazing tits, hasn’t she?’ Ed asked. He ripped open a box of beer and started chucking the cans in the pool of ice, one by one. ‘They’re definitely coming, right?’
‘Yeah, man, they went out earlier to get their costumes and shit,’ Jake said.
‘What they coming as?’ Ed threw Jake and Nathan a beer each. He nodded to me to take one myself. I didn’t really like beer, but I didn’t want to look like an idiot so I took one.
‘Dunno,’ Jake said, shrugging. ‘She tried telling me but I was right in the middle of a game of Call of Duty at the time, so I may have not been listening properly.’
‘Girls, man.’ Ed rolled his eyes. ‘How’s things with Megan?’ he asked Nathan.
‘Yeah, she’s amazing,’ Nathan said.
‘Look at you, you’re well loved-up,’ Ed said.
Nathan smiled. ‘Might be.’
‘Totally,’ Ed laughed. ‘Adam, you got a girlfriend?’ He asked.
‘Nope,’ I said and looked straight at the floor. I didn’t have a girlfriend, wasn’t even close. I was as pure as they came and totally embarrassed about it.
Ed stood up straight and eyed me up and down. ‘Jake’s a mummy, right, obvious. Nath’s Superman, even more obvious.’ He cocked his head to the side. ‘But, seriously dude, why the fuck are you dressed as an old man? I mean, I know you’re a bit weird and shit, but–’
‘I’m Albert Einstein,’ I said. Jake and Nathan were looking at each other, trying not to piss themselves laughing. It’d been a running joke since the costume was delivered. They reckoned nobody would know what I was dressed as, but I said everyone knew who Einstein was.
‘It’s meant to be ironic,’ Nath said through his snorts.
‘Why’s that?’ Ed asked.
‘’Cause he’s a swot, innit,’ Jake said. ‘Einstein was clever. Adam’s proper clever, too.’
‘Riiiiiight,’ Ed said looking at Jake.
‘He reckons he’ll pull if the girls think he’s clever,’ Nathan said.
‘While dressed as an old man?’ Ed asked. ‘Yeah, ’cause all the girls wanna sleep with an old man.’ He laughed.
‘Oi, you’re all bitches,’ I said and opened the beer I didn’t want to drink.
‘It’s alright, Ad, we’ll find you someone,’ Ed said. His eye line went to the girl walking out into the back garden dressed as a cheerleader. ‘But not her,’ he said. ‘That’s my sister, strictly hands off.’
‘Where’s the vodka?’ She asked Ed.
‘No, no way,’ Ed said. ‘You’re sixteen, Polly. No vodka, I’ve told you that.’
‘I don’t give a fuck what you’ve told me, I’ll drink what I want,’ she said.
We all stood wide eyed, our mouths open.
‘And what the fuck are you lot looking at?’ She asked.
‘If you want it, you’ll have to find it yourself, and if Mum and Dad go bat shit when they get back, I had nothing to do with it,’ Ed told her.
‘Get fucked,’ she said, walking back inside with her middle finger up.
Ed rolled his eyes at her. ‘Right boys,’ he said. He rubbed his hands together and smiled. ‘Let’s get this party started.’
Jake had gone off with Kelly as soon as she’d got there, on account of the fact she was dressed as Catwoman with her tits half hanging out. ‘I need to spend some time alone with her, guys, you know what I mean?’ He’d said to us before patting me on the back and disappearing with her into the party.
Nathan and I were in the kitchen. Every time someone walked into the room, his head darted around. He was waiting for Megan. I was hoping she wouldn’t show because if she did, he’d go off with her and I’d be left like a loner.
‘Have this,’ he said, handing me a plastic shot glass with bright green liquid in it.
‘What is it?’
‘Fuck knows,’ he said. ‘Just drink it.’
‘I dunno what it is.’
‘Stop being a pussy and drink it,’ he said, holding his glass up. ‘Ready? One … two … three …’
We downed them. It burnt the back of my throat and down my food pipe all the way to my stomach.
‘That was disgusting,’ I said, through my screwed up face.
Nathan laughed.
A strange atmosphere came over the kitchen. Like it’d had gone a bit quiet and really tense. All eyes were on the group of people who were walking through like they owned the place. They weren’t in costume, and they didn’t look friendly.
‘Who are they?’ I asked Nathan.
‘Dunno,’ he said, watching them walk out into the back garden.
‘That’s Ed’s cousin, Danny, and his mates, they’re proper twats, just stay away from them,’ Megan’s voice came from behind Nathan. His face lit up, he spun around, wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss.
‘You made it?’
‘Well, yeah,’ she said. She pulled away from him. ‘You alright, Ads?’
‘Yeah,’ I said.
‘Come on baby, let’s get a drink from outside,’ Nathan said and took her hand and led her out the back.
Not good. I should have had a sign round my neck with loner written on it. I looked around for someone I knew well enough to talk to until I saw Ed’s sister Polly looking at me from the other side of the kitchen. She smiled. I had no idea why she was smiling at me. Either it was sarcastic, or she was bipolar. I looked away.
‘Alright? What’s the matter?’ A girl bumped into me as she walked past to get to the sink.
‘Me?’ I asked.
‘Yeah, you,’ she slurred. She was clearly drunk.
She filled up her plastic cup with ice from the sink, then took a bottle of Jack Daniels from the side and filled it up over halfway, then added some Coke.
‘Do you want some Coke with that JD?’ I asked.
She put the bottle back on the side and gave me a filthy look.
‘Sorry,’ I said. I scanned her up and down while trying to hide the fact I was checking her out. Schoolgirl’s outfit. Standard lazy girl’s fancy dress costume. Blonde hair in pigtails. Not fat, but not skinny. OK really. Nice-ish tits but not as nice as Kelly’s – Jake could have that one.
‘Britney Spears,’ she said.
‘Britney Spears?’
‘Yeah, not just a schoolgirl, I’m Britney Spears.’
‘She’s a bit outdated now, isn’t she?’ I asked.
Silence, and then another filthy look. I should probably never talk to gi
rls, ever. I was crap at it. I was coming across like a total idiot.
‘You can’t talk, you’re dressed as an old man,’ she said. ‘Who the fuck comes to a fancy dress party dressed as an old man?’ She asked.
Nice come back.
‘I’m Albert Einstein,’ I said.
She took a sip of her drink and leant against the sink to stop herself swaying. ‘Is he the one who invented gravity?’ She asked.
‘Nobody invented gravity. Gravity just is,’ I said.
‘Yeah, you know who I mean,’ she leant over and grabbed my arm and stumbled a bit. ‘The guy who sat under the tree and the apple fell on his head?’
‘Newton?’
‘No, he invented the light bulb,’ she said.
‘No, Edison invented the light bulb,’ I said.
‘Who’s Edison?’ She asked.
I heard a sarcastic snort and looked up to find Polly watching us both with a huge smirk on her face. In her hand she was holding that elusive bottle of vodka.
‘Edison invented gravity?’ Britney Spears asked me.
‘Fuck me, you were last in the queue when they were handing out the brains, weren’t you?’ Polly said to Britney, who curled up her nose.
‘Thomas Edison invented the light bulb,’ Polly said to her. ‘Newton came up with the theory of gravity after an apple fell on his head, and Einstein and I are going upstairs for a drink,’ she said.
I was stunned at how smooth that was and, before I could argue, she grabbed my hand and took me out of the kitchen, into the hallway, weaving in and out of people, and up the stairs to her room.
‘You’re welcome,’ she said, shutting the door and flinging herself onto her bed.
Her room was all lava lamps, dream catchers, and incense sticks. Total hippy paradise. Cosy though, and at least I wasn’t on my own anymore, but…
‘What?’ She asked.
‘If Ed knows I’m in here with you, he’s going to rip my balls off,’ I said.
‘Fuck Ed, come and sit down,’ she smiled.
‘Are you going to try and shag me?’ I asked.
‘Only if you want me to,’ she said.
She was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed, so I could see her knickers under her cheerleader’s skirt. She was too busy leaning back against the wall and rolling a fag to notice me looking, or twig that I now had a massive boner.
I sat down on the edge of her bed so she couldn’t see it.
‘Want one?’ She asked, without looking up.
‘I don’t smoke,’ I said.
I’d seen Polly around school a couple of times, but I hadn’t realised she was Ed’s sister. I hadn’t ever paid any attention to her, but sitting in her room, right next to her, I realised how pretty she was. When she tucked her long hair behind her ear, I actually wanted to lean over and kiss her.
‘Bollocks,’ she said.
‘What?’ I laughed. She may have been pretty, but she was no lady.
She leant over the side of the bed and was rooting around under it, which meant that her really crisp white knickers and her arse were on show and it was pretty much perfect and cute.
She got back up holding a pack of filters.
‘Help yourself,’ she said, pointing at the vodka.
I wasn’t falling into that trap. I’d end up drunk, then she’d take advantage of me. OK, I really wanted to shag her but there were three reasons I didn’t think it was right: we weren’t together or anything and I’d never done it before; she was a bit of a demon and I was quite intimidated by her; and Ed would rip my balls off, pickle them in a jar and take them to school, where everyone would laugh at me even more than they already did.
‘Adam,’ she said. ‘Vodka, get it.’
‘What we got to do with it?’
She snorted, grabbed the bottle and took a swig of it straight. Like swigging vodka from a bottle was the most natural thing in the world. She handed it to me.
I didn’t want to look like a massive idiot, so I took a swig myself. I nearly choked to death.
‘You’re alright, you know.’ She laughed at me and went over to the window.
I took another swig. It wasn’t as bad but it was still disgusting.
‘I mean you’re a bit strange, but I like strange,’ she said.
She opened the window and lit her cigarette. ‘Eugh,’ she said, looking at some of the people in the garden. ‘Can’t stand that wanker.’
‘Which one?’ I asked, poking my head out.
‘That one there. He’s our cousin Danny.’
‘Yeah, we saw them when they came in. Everyone in the kitchen went quiet. Why don’t you like him?’
‘He thinks he’s hard.’
‘Is he bad news then?’ I asked.
‘No, he just thinks he is. He’s harmless really.’
‘He’s older than us?’
‘Yeah, he’s twenty-one. He’s not in college or anything anymore. My aunt’s always moaning about him getting a job and stuff, and how she and my uncle can’t keep giving him money all the time.’
‘What does he do with himself, then?’
‘Just bums around really. Must be so fulfilling,’ she said.
‘Who’s the girl?’ I asked her.
‘Sarah.’
‘Danny’s girlfriend?’ I asked, but I wasn’t listening when she answered. Nathan and Megan were up the end of the garden. They weren’t in their usual position with her wrapped round him and him touching her up. They were serious. Her hands were waving about all over the place. He looked like he was about to cry.
‘Are you even listening to me?’ She asked.
‘Do they look like they’re having a row?’ I nudged my head at where Nathan and Megan were.
We watched them in silence. The only sound was Polly pulling on her cigarette, inhaling, then blowing the smoke out.
‘Yeah, looks like it,’ she said. ‘Is that your mate Nathan?’
‘Yeah,’ I said.
‘That his girlfriend?’
‘Yup.’
Nathan’s arm reached out for Megan but she shoved him off and walked quickly down the garden. He stood with his hand over his mouth, watching her go.
‘Looks serious,’ Polly said.
‘I better go and see if he’s OK,’ I said.
‘Leave him a minute,’ Polly said. ‘Let me finish this first. You can keep an eye on him from up here – let him have a minute to himself.’
‘He looks pretty upset.’
‘He’ll be OK,’ she said, touching my arm, which made my stomach flip. ‘Anyway,’ she said. ‘Tell me more about …’
I’d stopped listening again. Nathan had sat down on a bench at the bottom of the garden. His face was in his hands.
‘Adam?’ Polly said.
‘Look.’
‘Oh …’
‘I should go and …’
‘He’s a big boy, Ads, he can look after himself.’ She took a final drag on her cigarette and flicked it out the window. Nathan got up and started walking down the garden, head down. I walked away from the window and towards the door.
‘Well I need to find out where Megan is. And Jake,’ I said. ‘I haven’t seen him for ages.’
‘Suit yourself,’ she said.
‘Come with me?’ I asked. ‘Where are all your friends?’
‘None of them are here tonight; Ed wouldn’t let me invite them. No year elevens allowed,’ she said.
‘I’ll come back up,’ I said, hoping she’d want me to.
‘OK,’ she smiled and plonked herself back on her bed.
What I really wanted was to find Jake in a corner somewhere with his hand down Kelly’s top, and Megan and Nathan making up in another corner. Then I could have gone straight back up to Polly.
I checked every dark corner of the house. I couldn’t find either of them anywhere.
The last place to look was the garden. Where that Danny was. No matter what Polly said about him, I was intimidated by him. I really didn’t want
to go out there, but then I heard Nathan’s laugh.
Bingo. He’d be outside with Jake. Definitely.
I weaved past a few people, went out the back door, and did a quick scan to see Nathan sitting at the table with Danny and his mates.
‘Ads.’ Nathan nodded at me. ‘Grab a drink, come join us. This is Danny, Sarah, and Lucy.’
‘What happened with Megan?’ I asked.
‘He don’t wanna talk about that, man,’ Danny said.
Sarah and Lucy laughed. Sarah was looking at Nathan like she wanted to jump him there and then.
‘Grab a drink and come and sit down,’ Nathan said.
‘Alright,’ I said. ‘Let me just go and find Jake,’ I said.
‘Why do you need to go and find Jake?’ Nathan asked. ‘Just come and sit down, enjoy yourself, let your hair down … chill.’
‘I’ll go and find Jake, we can all chill together, you can tell me what happened with Megan and–’
‘Didn’t you hear me the first time?’ Danny asked. ‘I said he don’t wanna talk about that.’
I took a few steps back and tried to stop my hands from shaking. ‘Nath, come and help me find him,’ I said. I wanted to get him away from Danny and his mates. Even if Polly reckoned he was harmless, I didn’t like him.
‘Go and find him yourself,’ Danny said. He gave me a filthy look and turned his head away. Nathan was looking at him intently, then he waved his hand at me to tell me to go away, to get on with it.
‘Come back when you’ve found him,’ he said. He was staring at me weirdly.
‘Nath?’
‘Just come back when you’ve got him,’ he said, a bit more softly.
‘What you doing hanging around with this knob cheese?’ Polly appeared behind me.
‘Fuck off,’ Danny said to her.
‘You fuck off,’ she said back.
‘Don’t start, Pol. I swear to God just don’t start, alright?’
‘Scared I’m gonna embarrass you in front of your mates?’
‘Whatever. Just do one, yeah?’
She turned her back on him. We took a few steps away from them, towards the house. ‘Just seen Kelly coming out of my mum and dad’s room, Jake’ll be in there.’
‘Cool,’ I said.
‘What’s he doing with that dick head?’ She asked, looking over her shoulder at Nathan and Danny.
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