by Lucy Coleman
‘I wonder what really happened. It sounds to me as if they made a few assumptions there. Anyway, thanks for sharing that, Nic.’ If I sound a little jaded it’s because as the light begins to fade a little, the trees take on an eerie quality. I’m definitely feeling spooked, as the shadows seem to close in around us.
Nic’s news about the breakin at the farm has unsettled me and maybe for good reason, following on from what I’ve read in the local paper. Every night before I go to bed I stare out, combing the trees and second guessing every shadow. I shake off the uneasiness that I can’t help feeling but this isn’t really helping to allay my fears tonight. Every sound has me scanning around imagining that someone is following us.
‘I thought you’d appreciate it, being a journalist. The crime levels here were almost non–existent until this latest little spate. Nowadays, everyone knows everybody’s business, aside from their own and there is an upside to that neighbourly nosiness, I suppose.’
Well, Rhys and Olwen know about us now and there’s nothing to be done about that but the burglaries are worrying. The farm is nowhere near as isolated as Nic’s cottage and whoever broke in must have had to wait for just the right moment.
‘We’re approaching the Trawlerman’s Inn. You can just see the lights ahead of us.’ He squeezes my hand reassuringly.
‘Look, I didn’t mean to spook you and I’m sorry if I did.’ Nic sounds genuinely apologetic, realising the setting isn’t helping at all.
I’d smile, but in the gloom there’s no point, all he would see are my teeth.
Inside the pub there’s a fire spitting in the hearth as the wood sizzles and hisses, welcoming us in. It’s not cold, but there is a nip in the air tonight even though it’s the second of June.
We find a nice little table for two tucked away in a corner and make ourselves comfortable.
‘That wasn’t the most enchanting walk at this time of the night, but this place is great.’
‘I knew you were spooked; wish I hadn’t told you that story now.’
‘I don’t like loose ends, or not knowing all of the details. It’s the way my mind works. As you work for the local paper you’ll know all about that.’
‘Well, let’s order and then I’ll tell you all about my budding career as a journo.’ He gives me a cheesy grin, clearly laughing at himself.
We decide to go for the good old-fashioned fish and chips, with half a pint of local ale. It seems to be what the majority of people around us are ordering and so it must be good.
When Nic comes back from placing our order at the bar, I lean into him as he slides a glass of something he calls Gower Gold, in front of me.
‘You do know everyone is watching us, don’t you?’
He nods, then turns and raises his hand in the air, rather like a royal wave.
‘Hey guys, sorry, forgot to say this is Tia. And yes, she’s the one renting my cottage.’
Virtually everyone raises their glasses in the air. A chorus of welcome has me laughing out loud. I half-stand and raise my glass in the air to return the toast. Then I sink back down onto the bench seat, wishing I could disappear.
‘Nic, I can’t believe you did that. We’re being talked about now.’
‘It’s my local and everyone knows me. Quite a few will already know you from the barn dance, or seeing you out walking. If people know your face they look out for you and that’s a good thing. Besides, my credibility here has just escalated. It’s obvious we’re on a date and now I’m going to lean forward and kiss you.’ And he does just that, then draws slowly away from me with a playful smile on his face.
‘The job at the paper is something unexpected that came my way. I’d finished the bulk of the work on the cottage and I’d been taking a few photos that I thought the paper might like to use. The editor, Gareth, asked if I’d be interest in doing a bit of work here and there. Sometimes it’s taking photos, particularly in the summer when there are sandcastle competitions down on the beach. Other times it’s checking out a lead he might get: missing animals, the occasional burglary, uproar over litter appearing overnight in the car parks. I cover some of the summer events, that sort of thing. It’s another source of income and something I enjoy doing.’
The food arrives and it smells amazing. The batter on the fish is golden and the chips are triple cooked.
‘British cuisine at its best,’ Nic says. He leans in and whispers, ‘as long as you aren’t calorie counting or worried about your cholesterol. But this is the best you’ll find anywhere in the country.’
He’s right and I second that. It’s a very pleasant evening and when we leave we receive a ripple of goodbyes as we head for the door. I try to remain composed and dignified, with a nonchalant smile plastered over my face.
‘You fit in well here, Nic. All credit to you as it’s a different world to the London scene.’
‘Shall I phone for a taxi, or are you prepared to brave the dark? I promise not to move from your side, or to let go of your hand. I’m a black belt in judo so any trouble and you can simply stand back. In mere seconds, I’ll have any attacker disabled and on the floor.’
I start laughing as I zip up my jacket. But it is eerie, that I can’t deny. Nic stands in front of me, sliding his hands down my arms until he catches both of my hands in his. The contact sends a little tingle up my spine. In the warm glow of the car park lighting his face is animated and there’s a spark of life, where before there was a sense of dogged resignation. As if life had punched him once too often and he was only hanging on by a thread.
‘Are you? A black belt in judo?’
‘Ha, now I know you are gullible, as well.’
‘As well as what?’
‘Beautiful, warm and intelligent. There has to be a catch somewhere and I’ll find it. Now let’s start walking.’
We link arms and a little smile hovers around my mouth. I haven’t linked arms with anyone since the last time Mum and I were out walking together. We walk, and chat, and stop to kiss, then walk some more and before we know it Beach View Cottage looms up before us. It’s bathed in a little pool of light.
‘You turned on the outside light; it looks so cosy.’
‘I had no intention of fumbling around on the doorstep in the dark again,’ he grins.
‘I wasn’t expecting you to; we aren’t teenagers. I was assuming you’d stay.’
‘I meant for the key. But maybe you’ll need someone around, anyway, in case you have bad dreams about the couple who disappeared.’ He makes a ghoulish sound.
I give him a playful shove before putting the key in the lock and opening the door.
‘Some reporter you are if you believe everything you read. If he wasn’t caught in the act, or he didn’t confess – which he couldn’t as he was dead – the truth will never be known.’
*
I lie here with my head on Nic’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, while his fingers gently stroke my arm.
‘Hey, what was that suggestion you were going to make? Did you change your mind?’
‘Oh, yes, I… um… I was wondering whether you’d consider moving back in here. I mean, there’s a spare room and no one needs to know. The rental agreement would still be valid, but I thought it made sense seeing as poor Sid really doesn’t want you walking him. And sometimes it’s handy having a man around, in case there’s a plumbing emergency, or anything…’ My words tail off. It didn’t come out sounding quite as casual as I’d hoped; in fact, it sounded rather pathetic and suspect even to my ears.
‘That’s an interesting proposal. So, you’re suggesting I bring my tool kit as well as my suitcase?’
‘Just a thought, no strings attached.’
I’m trying hard not to turn this into a big deal but I can see he isn’t fooled.
‘This is about the burglaries, isn’t it? Tia, if you don’t feel safe here you need to be straight with me because that’s a whole different thing.’
I feel awkward, knowing that it’s probably my i
magination because I’m not usually easily spooked. But on several occasions over the last week I’ve looked out of the window after turning out the light late at night and fancied I saw something, or someone, moving between the trees. It’s probably only shadows as the wind whips through the canopy above. But it was in the same place at about the same time. Then last night it wasn’t there, so now I’m hesitant to voice what is surely only a touch of paranoia.
‘I… maybe it’s nothing, merely a trick of the light and I’m a little on edge given what’s been happening. That’s the price you pay for having an over-active imagination.’ I try to lighten the mood.
Nic changes his position and I can feel his muscles tense a little. He isn’t falling for it and now I wish I hadn’t said anything.
‘I will admit I’m not totally happy to think of you here all alone at night, but I didn’t want to freak you out. Or undermine you in any way.’
‘Is there any news up at the farm?’
Nic pulls me closer and I’m more than content to snuggle into him.
Even during the day, I find myself drawn to the window, almost ignoring the vista and checking to see whether anyone is watching the cottage. Which is crazy because they’d be very likely to be spotted as neither Max, or I have a set pattern of comings and goings. Surely even burglars would know a little cottage like this wouldn’t hold anything of very great value. The risk wouldn’t be worth it. Would it?
‘We’re hoping the fingerprinting will identify whether it’s linked to the other burglaries. Look, if you really don’t feel safe at the moment then I’m more than happy to use that spare room until they round up these criminals. Which they will, as everyone is on alert and the paper will continue to give these incidents front page attention so that doesn’t ease up.
‘You can still throw me out of my own house whenever you want, of course. Well, until the second of July. What it’s like to have all that power over a hapless, homeless man, eh?’
I laugh but it comes out like a snort. Nic is trying his best not to make me feel awkward but I do. Maybe this isn’t about what I think I’m seeing in the shadows at all, but a sudden desire not to be alone. Nic has somehow wormed his way inside my comfort zone with seeming ease. Maybe what’s spooking me is the way in which I’m willing to lower my guard whenever he’s around.
‘I’ve figured out what we both have in common; well, two things, actually.’ I move back so I can see his face a little more clearly in the moonlit bedroom. The inky black sky seems to make the full moon tonight look translucent and it’s quite light considering the lateness of the hour. I want Nic to see that I’m serious.
‘I was wondering what was going on inside that head of yours – I knew there was more to this, although I understand your concerns. We’re all a little bit on edge at the moment. Anyway, are you going to share your discovery with me?’ He sounds intrigued.
I cast around for the right words.
‘Neither of us really know what we want, or what we are capable of wanting. We only know that we’re going through a transition and that’s what draws us together. The other thing is fear. OK, so I’m afraid of the shadow I think I’ve seen in the woods but I’m also afraid that I’m destined to be that career woman who is successful, but will never find anything else to give me a sense of fulfilment in my life.’
‘You can’t stop there. What is it that I’m afraid of? Fending off intruders isn’t on the list, I might add. I know how to handle myself.’ His attempt at injecting some humour falls flat and I realise that he’s a tad uncomfortable. ‘You’re scared that the life you have here in Caswell Bay is the one you are meant to have and that you will end up finding it enough. As if being happy can’t be that simple. You’ve been brought up to be an achiever. If you don’t achieve, you will consider yourself to be a failure.’
He lowers his chin, his eyes now in line with mine.
‘I think maybe you’re right. In the words of Luke, “The sins of the parents are visited upon the children”, and maybe he was right in my case. But it’s not the same for you, you had loving parents.’
‘I know. But that makes it worse, because I’ve seen how good a marriage and family life can be. I’ve also seen how easily communication breaks down and the damage that ensues. My brother is starting to come around, but he’s been lost to me for a long time. Maybe I can only succeed at pushing people away on a personal level.’
Nic rolls into me so our faces are touching.
‘Do you know what I think?’
I sigh, putting my arm around him and hugging him even closer.
‘What?’
‘I think that you think too much, although I’m finding that quality strangely seductive. You certainly haven’t succeeded in pushing me away, you are actually reeling me in. I’m like a fish on the end of a line.’
I giggle. ‘I have to sleep. My eyelids are closing. You’ve worn me out.’
‘Good, then I’ve achieved my goal. And Tia, don’t worry about the shadows. I have no intention of letting any harm come to you while you are here.’
Within seconds my breathing deepens and I feel myself floating, getting lighter and lighter. For some rather bizarre reason, there appear to be snowflakes all around me. I feel myself letting go, happy to surrender and let my dream take me where it wants to go. Somewhere, quite close, a phrase seems to hang in the air, ‘Sweet dreams, lovely Tia’ and then the silence takes over.
21
A Little Cloud on the Horizon
When Olwen arrives, I pretend to be busy, giving her a quick ‘Hi’ and then returning to scan my notes on the papers in front of me.
‘It’s official, then.’ I know she’s standing in front of me and hasn’t even taken off her coat yet, as I find myself looking down at her feet. They are both firmly planted and pointing in my direction.
I look up at her, anxiety washing over me, tinged with dread.
‘What is?’
‘The two of you. I know I’ve been telling him for a while he needs to make an effort and put himself out there, but… is this wise? You’re here to ease yourself back into work and when two people fall for each other—’
I drop my pen as my hand flies up to my face, covering my mouth.
‘We’re not in love, Olwen. We’re just… engaging in a little romantic, um… interlude. I’ll be gone in four-and-a-half weeks’ time. We’re both free and single, and lonely. No harm done, just a bit of fun.’
Her expression is more of a scowl.
‘I’m not being a prude here, Tia. I’ve come to know a little more about Nic than he chooses to share with most people. He’s a lovely man, but he has his demons. And you’re so vulnerable at the moment, but you’ve been lulled into a false sense of security. For you, this doesn’t reflect real life; it’s more of a working holiday. You think you can cope with this, and I’m sure Nic feels the same way, but there’s a lot that can go wrong. Neither of you is the sort to have sex for the sake of it. There’s an attraction steering this, whether you like it, or not. What happens when it’s time to leave? What if one of you doesn’t want to let go, but the other does? And, after last night, everyone in the village is talking about Nic’s new girlfriend. He has a sudden spring in his step and we can all see that.’
I don’t want to smile, but I can’t help the way my cheeks lift, involuntarily.
‘Oh dear. I did tell him off about that. But you shouldn’t worry, Olwen. We know what we’re doing and we have ground rules. In fact, I also have a confession, even though I know you aren’t going to like it. But I’ve suggested Nic moves back in; purely because of the burglaries, of course.’
I might as well get it out of the way and having an excuse helps. Olwen looks shocked.
‘You don’t feel safe here on your own at night?’
A look of growing concern creeps over her face. It wasn’t my intention to alarm her but the uneasiness hasn’t left me. If it had just been the once, then I could blame my imagination but it wasn’t.
‘Well, it’s only natural we’re all on alert and that isn’t a nice feeling. It’s not something we’re used to around here and being on your own will make it harder, I’m sure. So, in a way it’s a bit of a relief to know Nic will be here until the police catch up with this gang. But as for the two of you, I can’t help wondering if all that research you’re doing about lovey-dovey stuff is stirring up your hormones. Or maybe it’s like one of those holiday romances. Seems like a good idea at the time but afterwards you wonder what on earth you were thinking.’ She shakes her head, turns and heads for the bathroom. ‘I don’t want to see either of you getting hurt. Beach View deserves the sound of happiness echoing between these walls, but an affair that could end in heartache is bad karma. If it goes wrong, then at least I’ve warned you and I’ll be having the same little chat with Nic, the next time I see him.’
When she’s out of sight I let out a gasp. An affair? I know Olwen means well, but she’s been married for such a long time and I can see how this arrangement might offend her sensibilities a little. This is simply two people having a little fun. When she walks back into the kitchen I clear my throat and look in her direction.
‘Um… Olwen, under the circumstances if you want to stop coming here I fully understand. I don’t want to put you in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure if Nic is going to be here every night and at weekends, but he is going to be around. I really didn’t expect this to happen, but it has and life is too short not to take a risk occasionally.’
‘I’m not saying Nic would hurt you and if you’ve both talked this through, then that’s fine. As I said, I’m not a prude and it’s not my place to judge, or advise, you. However, I’ve never believed that a legal document makes a relationship. If two people are together, for however long, it’s a commitment; admittedly, one with a cut-off point for you two. What I’m trying to say is that the idea might sound workable, but when emotions are involved it’s not quite so cut and dried. I sincerely hope I don’t have to spend time helping one, or the other, of you to get over a broken heart. You are two lost souls at the moment and that brings out the mothering instinct in me. It’s in my nature to care about folk and I find myself caring about two people who have been thrown together under an unusual set of circumstances. There, I’ve said my piece, despite the fact that it’s none of my business.’