“How are you ever going to get your hands on them if they keep getting away like this? Are you ever going to be able to tell where they’re going to strike next?” Sandi asked.
“I dinnae ken. But I can tell they have their base somewhere in the Crow Forest. If I cannae get them then maybe the spirits will,” Broden said. Iona looked strangely troubled and subdued. He wanted to talk to her about the kiss they had shared the previous night, but he sensed that something had changed and was worried that she regretted it. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she was so young. She had a maturity and an outlook on the world that betrayed her years, and he was afraid that he had pushed her too hard. Besides, he was so worked up that he worried anything he said was going to come out as aggression. What he really needed was an intense fight, but the bandits were not obliging.
The sun had risen completely now and bathed the world in its golden glory. It was easy to forget that rain had fallen for hours the previous evening. Broden announced that they should be returning to the Hendrickson estate swiftly as people would likely be wondering where they were, and he needed to talk to his brother about the latest bandit attack. Sandi didn’t try to keep them for too long, but she did give them a little bit of food to last them on their short journey, and she offered them some spare ointment she had and an herbal remedy that she said would alleviate all kinds of ailments, and would calm the mind too. Broden politely accepted the gifts, even though he was quite sure he would never use them. Perhaps his mother would though.
There was only one horse left now, so Iona had to straddle the horse’s back and wrap her hands around Broden’s body. He enjoyed this, but there was tension in her that he couldn’t ignore and he wished she would relax. She said nothing to him, and he didn’t want to push her into becoming even more uneasy and vulnerable. He hoped that she would come to him in her own time, and they could discuss their feelings for each other. It was clear to him that there was something between them. There had been from the first moment they had met, and he wasn’t about to ignore it.
The feelings that swirled around in his mind were unfamiliar to him and he wasn’t quite sure how to express them. They were jumbled up and wouldn’t settle at all. Even when he did try and talk about them they wouldn’t leave his tongue and he choked on his words. It didn’t help that his father had never prepared him for anything like this.
Broden’s education had been all about strength and martial prowess, and how to lead a clan. Expressing tenderness about a woman hadn’t been on the agenda, and his mother hadn’t been very helpful either, for she always blushed when anything turned to a personal nature. Broden had been left to learn by example, and the only example he had was his parents. His father had such a strong personality that his mother never had much of a choice in anything, but Iona didn’t seem like that. She had hopes and dreams and aspirations of her own. Broden liked this about her, but perhaps he did need to lay down his authority and show that he wanted her by a display of strength. If he declared it to be so then it might become a reality, and since he was confident that Iona felt the same way about him he didn’t think it would do much harm.
The ride back was silent as both of them were concerned with their own thoughts, although Broden had no idea how Iona’s heart was being torn by conflict. It didn’t even occur to him that she might be keeping a secret from him.
Before too long they saw the familiar outline of the estate emerging on the horizon and Broden knew that he had to mention something about it or else it might seem as though it never happened, as though it was nothing but a dream. But he remembered the way her body felt so soft and sweet pressed against him, as the energy surged inside him and stirred something deep and passionate. Her sweet taste lingered on his lips, and even when he licked them he could still feel the echo of her touch. Her hands rested on his stomach and he tried to ignore it, but his breath grew heavy and a haze drifted across his mind, just like clouds in a summer sky.
He slowed the pace of his horse.
“Iona,” he began in his deep baritone voice, “I want tae talk with ye da when we return. I know he is ill, but I cannae put it off for any longer.”
Iona pouted and loosened her grip on his waist. “I suppose ye must. That is what ye came for after all, and if ye delay any longer ye may never leave. I’ll arrange it as soon as we return. Ye cannae think of anything but the bandits, after all,” she said sharply. Broden couldn’t help but notice the venomous tone to her words and he wondered why she was reacting in such a manner.
“That’s nae the only thing I want tae speak with him about. There is the matter of our marriage as well,” he said, smirking, confident that it would appease her and calm whatever raging storm was going on in her mind. It didn’t, however.
“Our what?” she declared, speaking so loudly that a few nearby birds were disrupted and fluttered away. Broden had no idea what he had said that was so wrong, but he immediately knew he had made a mistake and cursed his father for never teaching him the delicate art of speaking to a lady.
8
“Our marriage. I thought…” He trailed off. Iona glared at him. He twisted his head around to look at her, for they were both still atop the horse. Iona didn’t know what to say. They had gone from sharing a kiss and a simmering attraction to marriage without any discussion whatsoever!
“Did ye nae think I wanted a say? Why are ye gaeing tae my da when ye have nae spoken tae me yet? Dae ye think ye can just come up here and take me away like I dinnae matter? I am nae some lass that ye can just order around, Broden. I have feelings. How could ye dae this without even asking me?”
“I…I just wanted tae ask ye da first. I thought ye were bashful and shy. I just…I wanted tae be close with ye and after the previous night I thought it would be what ye wanted.”
“What I want is tae be treated with respect Broden. Ye cannae just spring this upon a lass without any warning! Take me home!” she cried. The reaction was perhaps more vehement than was necessary, but she had been completely taken aback by the prospect of marrying him. They hadn’t spoken at all on the ride back up until that moment, and she had been convinced that he suspected she was lying to him. Her heart was torn in conflict, and although she had loved wrapping her arms around his body, it had felt wrong to be holding something so precious from him. The truth was pure and radiant, but shadows danced in her heart.
When she rested her head against him while they were riding she could feel his heart beating. It was clear and sonorous, like a ringing bell, but she feared the repercussions when he realized that her brother was involved with the bandits, and that she had known.
How could she agree to marry him when she couldn’t be honest with him? The fear turned to anger and she reacted bitterly, as though he had committed some crime against her person. She hated making him feel so small, when what he had proposed was wonderful. If she hadn’t encountered Brice she would have been thrilled knowing that Broden wanted to talk to Ciaran about her hand in marriage, but she would only disappoint him. It wasn’t fair that he should be betrothed to a woman who was keeping a secret from him, so she had to push him away, no matter how much it pained her to do so.
She could see the hurt and shock in his eyes, and it broke her heart to know that she could cause someone she cared about so much pain. She needed to speak to Brice and get to the heart of the matter before anything else could be decided, and she hoped that Broden would be patient enough to give her another chance, if she deserved one.
Maybe deep down she wasn’t any better than Malie, or ready for this type of relationship. She was still young and there was much for her to learn. Perhaps Broden needed someone more mature, someone who knew what she was doing and how to handle these eddies and currents of love. Right now she felt utterly adrift and incapable of finding balance. She was being tossed about by a wild storm, and the only person who could help her was Brice. She had to get to him as quickly as possible, so in her anger she demanded to be taken back home, and Broden acqui
esced.
Broden had tried to stammer out an apology, but he didn’t seem to know what to say. Iona hated this, but she knew that the less they spoke to each other the less chance she had of lying to him. Silently, she promised him that she would make it up to him and provide amends for her spiteful and aberrant behavior. All she needed was time to see Brice and work out all these difficult feelings inside.
Once they rode into the courtyard of the estate Iona jumped down from the horse as quickly as possible. She pointed to the main building in the estate and directed Broden to her father.
“He is waiting for ye in there. I hope that he tells ye what ye need tae know. I will be elsewhere if ye need me,” she said, and then turned away. Her cheeks burned and her eyes stung with tears. It was so difficult pushing Broden away, but she didn’t feel as though she had a choice. She could only hope that she didn’t push him into the open arms of Malie, who would surely be waiting for any opportunity to seduce the man.
Iona couldn’t think about that though, not when the safety of her family was at stake!
She rushed to Brice’s quarters and found him in a change of clothes, sitting and drinking some ale. He looked relaxed, which was a stark contrast to when she had seen him earlier. His face was clean and he greeted her with a smile.
“Ah, my darling sister,” he said, and stood up. He walked towards her and extended his arms, embracing her and placing a kiss on each cheek. He had never greeted her with such affection before, and Iona was instantly on guard. She glanced behind her to ensure that the door was closed so that nobody would eavesdrop, but even so she spoke in a hushed whisper.
“How can ye talk tae me like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like naething has happened!” She threw up her hands. “Like I didnae see ye in the forest, burned and smudged from the stable fire! I know ye are involved with the bandits Brice. Why? What are ye thinking? Ye would truly betray our family’s name? Our honor?”
“What would ye know about our honor?” Brice said, his expression changing from charming to spiteful in an instant. “Ye know naething Iona, so ye would be wise tae keep ye mouth shut.”
“Broden MacCrae is here,” she said. At the mention of his name, Brice’s eyes went wide. He had left before Broden had arrived, and had been too preoccupied with his clandestine bandit activities to care about what was happening on the estate. She assumed that when he had returned he had come straight to his chambers without speaking with anyone. Brice was like that, feeling as though he was the only person in the world that mattered. Everyone else was just a means to an end, and there were some moments when it was incredibly difficult to love him, but he was her brother, and it was her duty.
“Did ye tell him?”
“Nay! But I will if I must. He came tae offer us protection from the bandits, but I suppose we dinnae need protection! Nae wonder we have nae had any encounters with them if ye are working with them. Why are ye daeing this Brice? Are ye really that black-hearted? Please, tell me that ye are trying tae stop them, acting as a spy? Tell me anything but that ye’re one of them.”
She pleaded with him. Her heart yearned for a lie, but Brice obliged her with the truth.
“I’m nae gaeing tae lie tae ye Iona. Ye’d only be able tae tell. Ye have nae idea what it’s like tae be me, locked up here like a prisoner, waiting for Da tae die sae I can take his place. Dinnae ye think I want a life of my own? It drives me insane tae sit in this estate and see my whole life stretched out before me, and dae ye think I want tae end up like him? He cannae hunt. He cannae dae anything that a man should be able tae dae.”
“He’s injured Brice. He went after ye, tae try tae talk tae ye. But I guess ye weren’t hunting were ye, ye were out with the bandits, coming back from stealing from the MacCraes.”
A glint of pride sparkled in Brice’s eyes.
“Aye, and we got them good, they think they’re sae much better than us.”
“Da needed ye, and he ended up hurt.”
“That’s his own fault,” Brice said bitterly. “I cannae be held responsible for this. Is it sae bad that I have a little fun? Can ye really deny me that? Ye, of all people? Ye who are barely allowed tae ride out by yeself, only tae ye aunt. Dae ye think Da will allow ye tae have a life of ye own? He wants tae keep us all here because he cannae face losing people like he lost Ma.”
“Ye lie. What about Malie? I know she doesnae help herself, but he is always trying tae arrange a marriage,” Iona argued.
“Is he?” Brice countered quickly and effortlessly. “Or daes he just say he is, and then ends up saying the arrangement wasn’t right? He wants us all tae believe that he has our best interests at heart, when really he is tae afraid tae let any of us live.”
Iona had mixed feelings. She sensed truth in Brice’s words, but it didn’t change anything.
“That doesnae excuse what ye have done. Dae ye expect me tae forgive ye for stealing and burning stables and hurting people and whatever else ye have done in the name of being bored? Ye must be mad!”
Brice turned away from her and dipped his head in a moment of vulnerability. The shadows in the room fell across his face and his voice grew softer and more humble. He breathed heavily and in that moment he looked not like a man, but as the boy she had grown up with.
“That is nae the only reason. Da dinnae ken this, but I have lost much of our fortune,” Brice admitted.
“What?” Iona gasped, utterly aghast at this revelation. Brice turned to her and pursed his lips. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and he looked haggard and pallid.
“I thought I could dae better, and then one thing led tae the other and I ended up chasing tae much. I had tae join the bandits tae pay off my debts, otherwise this place would have been in ruin.”
“But how? You dinnae have charge of the money. Ally does.”
Then it dawned on her. Ally knew. He had always had a soft spot for Brice and was persuaded to do unscrupulous things. She noticed that he had been uncharacteristically disturbed when she and Broden had gone into his office, and this must have been the reason why. She was disheartened that such activity could have happened without anyone knowing.
“Brice…how could ye dae this tae us?”
“I didn’t mean tae!” He swept his arm through the air in a slashing motion and his voice rose to a high pitch before settling down. “It was just a wee few bets at first, and then they piled up, and before I knew it I was in trouble. Ally has been hiding it from Da. If he knew…Iona, if Da ever found out that I did this it would kill him. Ye have tae keep my secret. I promise I will nae dae this again, with ye help I can stop, once I have paid the debts back,” he said. Iona closed her eyes and shook her head.
“Nae Brice, that is nae how it works. I will have tae find a way tae make the money for ye, by honest means. If ye stay with the bandits ye will only sink further intae this misery. I will help ye, for Da’s sake, but one mistake from ye and I will tell Broden. Ye cannae escape the MacCraes forever.”
“I can make it up tae them as well Iona, please, just help me.”
It was rare that Brice was so pleading with her and although there was a nagging part of her mind that told her this was a mistake, she believed it was the right thing to do for her family. She thought of all those portraits down through the years and what those people would have done. She could finally prove that she was one of them.
But did being one of them mean that she had to abandon her honor and principles? Everything inside her body told her that it was wrong to lie to Broden, but she was bonded to Brice by blood. Surely that counted more than some fluttering attraction to a future laird?
Sadly, there were no easy answers to those questions and Iona was left adrift. There wasn’t really anyone she could talk to about her problems because it would raise a scandal…nobody except Ally, who was in on the whole thing. If she could speak to him and understand why he was helping Brice rather than going to her father, perhaps it would help inform her o
wn decision.
9
Broden’s confidence had been shaken by his last interaction with Iona. Everything seemed to have changed that night they spent in Sandi’s house. With the rain slashing down it had been ever so romantic and they had both been left with a feeling of what might have been. His body had burned with tension and desire and it had taken all his willpower not to take her in his arms and drag her to bed for a night of lovemaking, but it wouldn’t have been right to do so under another’s roof, especially when he hadn’t spoken to her father about his intentions. But she seemed so upset to learn that he wanted to marry her. Broden had always been under the impression that lasses wanted to get married, and while he wasn’t a laird yet he considered himself to have good prospects and was able to have a good life. He couldn’t fathom why she was so upset.
Once upon a time his father had told him that it was easier to work out the changing of the tides than the mind of a woman. Broden hadn’t understood what he meant at the time, but now the meaning was clear. She had reacted with such disgust that it almost seemed as though they hadn’t shared any tenderness whatsoever. Had the entire thing been a dream for him, an illusion from the depths of his mind? Was the kiss they shared a stolen one?
There were no easy answers and it was a matter that could not be resolved unless he spoke with her again, but the prospect of that was not one he met with eagerness. They had left that night with so much promise. The kiss seemed to seal their feelings and was an alluring taste of more to come, but everything had changed the day afterwards. Although they had been close while riding on the horse there had been an invisible distance between them that Broden couldn’t explain. Her mood had changed. Now that he thought about it, she had averted her eyes from his gaze and her words had been few and far between, aside from the outburst at the end where he had revealed his desire to take her as his wife.
Highlander’s Flaming Secret (Scottish Medieval Historical Romance) Page 6