by Amy Clipston
Kathryn traced the wood grain on the table. “What if she came to visit you? How do you think Henry would react?”
Mary Rose’s expression was pensive. “If Anna Mae were to come here, Henry would have to face her, wouldn’t he?” Her expression fell. “But she won’t come. After what Henry said to her, she has no reason to come back.”
“Unless she misses you as much as you miss her.” Kathryn raised her eyebrows in response to Mary Rose’s surprised expression.
Elizabeth sidled up to the table balancing a tray of four cups of coffee with Amanda in tow, holding a tray with a chocolate cake, forks, and napkins. While Amanda set out the cake and place settings, Elizabeth added a mug at each setting.
“Enjoy,” Elizabeth said as she sat across from Mary Rose.
Mary Rose forked some chocolate cake into her mouth and moaned. “This is wunderbaar. Danki, Elizabeth.”
Kathryn ate a moist piece of cake and sipped the coffee while Elizabeth and Mary Rose discussed the weather, their families, and upcoming holidays. Their conversation was only background noise to the thoughts whirling through her mind. Mary Rose’s eyes had spoken volumes of the emotions in her soul for Anna Mae — sadness, regret, love, and worry.
Was this the sign from God that Kathryn had been waiting for?
Yes! Absolutely it was!
The answer was right before Kathryn — she needed to arrange for Anna Mae to visit at Christmas. God was giving her the direction, and she needed to let Him use her to heal the Beiler family.
Kathryn tried her best to appear interested in the idle conversation around her, nodding and smiling at the appropriate times. However, internally, she was swallowing her excitement and anticipation. She couldn’t wait to call her friends in Paradise and see if their bed and breakfast was available the week of Christmas.
She needed to be discreet with the plans so David didn’t find out before Anna Mae arrived. Because if he did …
“Kathryn?” a voice asked.
Kathryn looked up and found her mother-in-law’s brown eyes studying her.
“Are you okay?” Mary Rose asked.
“Ya.” Kathryn cleared her throat, hoping to appear casual. “I was just thinking about everything I have to do before Grischtdaag.” In her peripheral vision, Kathryn spotted her mother giving her a skeptical look. Elizabeth was always a master at reading her children’s expressions and their true emotions.
“I reckon I’d better be going,” Mary Rose said. “Danki for a lovely visit and delicious food.” She stood and gathered her dirty mug, fork, and napkin.
Amanda rose and took the items from her and set them on the table. “Just leave it, Grossmammi. I’ll take care of it.” She hugged her. “I’m glad you came to see us.”
Mary Rose kissed Amanda’s head. “Oh, danki, Amanda. You’re such a sweet maedel.” Looping her arm around Amanda’s shoulders, they started for the door.
Kathryn followed them to the door. “It was wunderbaar to see you, Mamm. We’ll visit you soon.” She gave her a quick hug, and while Amanda and Elizabeth said their goodbyes, Kathryn hurried back to the table and loaded a tray with the dirty forks, mugs, and napkins.
Kathryn was washing the mugs and forks when Elizabeth came up behind her.
“What was really on your mind during Mary Rose’s visit?” Elizabeth asked.
Wiping her hands on a rag, Kathryn faced her. “I think God spoke to me today.”
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. “When?”
“While you and Amanda were preparing the cake and coffee, Mary Rose spilled her heart to me, telling me how much she’s been thinking of Anna Mae and wishing she could see her and know she was doing well.”
Elizabeth gasped. “Oh my.”
Kathryn dropped the rag on the counter and grasped Elizabeth’s sleeves. “This is the sign I prayed for. I asked God to give me a sign that I’m doing the right thing by helping Anna Mae come for a visit. This was the sign, Mamm. He answered me, and I’m going to listen.”
Elizabeth smiled. “So it seems that God does bless this visit from Anna Mae.”
“I guess so,” Kathryn said. “Would you walk out front with me?” She led her mother to the front counter. “Do you think I should make a reservation for them at the Paradise B&B so they have privacy? They may want to get away from the family at night and be alone.”
Elizabeth nodded and fished the phone book from the pile of papers on the desk. “That’s a great idea. I’ll find the number for you.” She pointed out the number, and Kathryn’s heart pounded as she dialed.
While the phone rang, she hoped David would forgive her for going behind his back and that God would lead the family to a joyous reconciliation in honor of His Son’s birth.
On Sunday, Kathryn carried a pitcher of water from her sister-in-law Vera Zook’s kitchen to the large family room where the rows of tables were set for the noon meal after the church service. Keeping with tradition, the service had been held in the large room with the moveable walls pushed out in order to accommodate the backless benches for the members of the church district. Families within the district took turns hosting the services every other Sunday during the year. A schedule was set up in advance so that each family would know when it was their turn.
After the four-hour service, the benches were transformed into tables, and the women retired to the kitchen to prepare the food and serve the men first. Each family provided a dish.
Pennsylvania Dietsch echoed throughout the room as Kathryn made her way around, refilling cups and nodding to friends and family. Her eyes moved to a small table in the back of the room, off on its own away from the crowd, where an English couple, friends of her sister Beth Anne, sat chatting.
That’s where Anna Mae and Kellan would sit — by themselves, away from the family.
The thought came to Kathryn before she could stop it. Her thoughts had been with Anna Mae during the service. Instead of concentrating on the bishop and ministers who had been preaching the Word, Kathryn found herself glancing over toward the English couple sitting in the back, off by themselves, during the service.
If Anna Mae and Kellan were to visit and attend a service, they too would sit alone, away from the family, like strangers — perhaps not strangers, but more like visitors instead of members of the family.
Finding her pitcher empty, Kathryn stepped back into the kitchen where Anna Mae’s three sisters, Barbie, Vera, and Fannie, were flittering around the kitchen, preparing to bring out the cakes and cookies for dessert. Kathryn wondered how they would react to seeing their youngest sister again. Would they welcome her with open arms despite the pain of her leaving? Or would they be standoffish, giving her a mere nod and cold greeting when she arrived?
“Kathryn,” Vera said, holding out a plate of cookies. “Would you take these out?”
“Of course,” Kathryn said, taking the dish. She paused. “Have you heard from Anna Mae lately?”
Vera stopped and her eyes widened with surprise. “No, I haven’t heard from her since last Christmas. She always sends me a card. Have you?”
Kathryn nodded. “I have.”
“You have?” Vera asked. She turned to her sisters. “Fannie! Barbie! Kathryn’s heard from Anna Mae.”
The three sisters surrounded Kathryn.
Vera asked, “How is Anna Mae?”
“When did you hear from her?” Fannie demanded.
“Is she happy with that English man?” Barbie chimed in.
“She’s doing well,” Kathryn said, gripping the plate. “She and Kellan are very happy and are expecting their first baby.”
The three sisters gasped and then fired off more questions about Anna Mae’s life. Kathryn held up her hand, and they stopped speaking.
“The baby is due in January,” Kathryn said. “Anna Mae and Kellan are both doing well. She said she misses the family and would like to reconnect with everyone for the sake of the baby.” Kathryn bit her bottom lip, debating how much to share. “She wants to com
e visit.”
“Oh.” Barbie frowned. “I don’t know how Daed would react to that.”
Fannie nodded. “Probably not a good idea.”
“I think it would be wunderbaar gut,” Vera said. “When does she want to come?”
“She’s still working out the details,” Kathryn said.
“She should wait until after the baby is born,” Fannie said while Barbie nodded in agreement. “That would help smooth things over with Daed.”
“Ya,” Barbie added.
“I disagree,” Vera said, touching Kathryn’s arm. “Any time would be gut. Her visit might be awkward, but it would start to mend some fences.”
Kathryn glanced down at the cookies. “I better get these out to the men before they start complaining.” She stepped out into the family room with Vera in tow.
“Does Anna Mae want to come soon?” Vera whispered.
Kathryn nodded. “Ya. Very soon.”
Vera raised her eyebrows in question. “How soon?”
“For Christmas,” Kathryn said.
Vera patted her arm. “Tell her to come. Daed and my siblings may be against her visit, but it would heal my mamm’s broken heart.”
Kathryn smiled. “I’ll do that.”
Later that evening, Kathryn waited until David was snoring before she padded downstairs to the kitchen and found her stationery in the drawer. In the light of the gas lantern, she wrote a letter to Anna Mae, outlining the plans for her trip. After signing it, she sealed it in the envelope and addressed it. She then placed it in the pocket of her apron hanging on the peg in the kitchen and tiptoed up to bed.
As she snuggled down under the covers next to David, Kathryn whispered a prayer to God, telling Him that she hoped she was honoring His wishes and asking Him to use her as He saw fit to bring the Beiler family back together for Christmas.
CHAPTER 5
Anna Mae clutched the letter and sank into the kitchen chair. Tears filled her eyes as she studied the words written in Kathryn’s beautiful cursive writing.
Dear Anna Mae,
I hope this letter finds you and Kellan well. Please know you’re in my daily prayers.
As I’m writing to you, my heart is filled with excitement. After we talked last week I prayed and asked God to show me a sign that I was doing His will by helping you plan a trip here for Christmas. The next day I received the message from God that I’d been hoping for when your mamm came to visit me at the bakery.
Anna Mae, your mamm shared with me that you’ve been on her mind and in her heart for some time now. She said she thinks of you constantly, wondering if you’re gut and froh with your life in Baltimore. She shared with me that she would love to see you, and I know that’s what God would want.
Today I attended church at your sister Vera’s home, and I spoke to her about your possible visit. Vera was excited and told me that having you visit would be a wunderbaar way to help bring the family back together. She said that while the visit may be strained at first, having you here would begin to mend fences.
I’ve arranged for you and Kellan to stay at the Paradise Inn Bed and Breakfast from December 22 – 24, checking out on Christmas morning. You are welcome to have dinner with us that first night, and from there we will make arrangements to see the rest of the family. Please let me know if that will be convenient for you.
I’m keeping your visit a secret. Only my mamm Amanda, and Vera know that you’re planning to come, and we’ll keep it to ourselves until you get here. As I said above, I know that your initial arrival may be awkward, but I’ll be by your side to help work through that. Once your parents see you and find out that you’re expecting a baby, they will be willing to work things out in order to have you, Kellan, and the baby in their life.
I can’t wait to hug you and talk to you in person.
In His Name,
Kathryn
She reread the letter and sniffed, tears flowing from her eyes.
“Annie?” Kellan crossed the kitchen and crouched beside her chair. “Honey, what’s wrong?” He wiped tears from her hot cheeks with the tip of his finger.
“Mamm misses me,” she whispered, holding out the letter to him. “She misses me like I miss her. And my sister Vera wants to see me too. I miss my sisters so much.”
While he read the letter, Anna Mae rubbed her abdomen and lost herself in memories of her family — the delicious smell of freshly baked bread in her mother’s kitchen, the roar of her brother and cousins roughhousing in the yard, the clip-clop of horses coming up the lane with buggies packed with visitors. She wanted her child to experience all of that — all she loved and missed about being Amish.
Kellan met her gaze and kissed her cheek. “I’m so happy for you. I hope this visit gives you the peace and love you need from your family. If God sent Kathryn a sign, He is also sending us a sign that we need to go.”
“Thank you! I’m so glad you agree!” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he shifted his weight and chuckled.
“You’re going to sweep me off my feet again, Annie.” He took her hands in his and smiled. “You nearly knocked me over.”
“I’m going to write her back tonight and tell her that we’ll be there on the twenty-second.” She hoisted herself from the chair and crossed the kitchen. “I only have a couple weeks until we go. I have so much to do.” She fished a notepad and pen from a drawer and began a list. “We’ll have to bring gifts for all of the children. I’m not quite sure what, though.” She jotted down ideas for gifts, including candies and small toys.
“Gifts for all of the kids?” Kellan stood behind her. “How can we buy for all your relatives, Annie? Aren’t there hundreds of kids now?”
Glancing up, she laughed. “I don’t expect hundreds, but, yes, there are many children in the Beiler family. And I’ll bring them little gifts, like candy and small toys. Don’t worry; I won’t break our budget. I’ll visit the Dollar Mart in town after my quilting circle meeting.” She jotted a few more things down on the list and then looked up. “Maybe we can run to the store tonight after supper. I think they’re open late, and I’ll need your help with the bags.”
A smile spread across his lips. “I have an idea. How about we go to our favorite steak place and then go shopping?”
“Steak and shrimp?” She glanced down at her abdomen. “How does that sound, Butterbean?”
“Butterbean?” Kellan raised an eyebrow.
“I thought it was a cuter name than Lug Nut. I think Lug Nut sounds like a boy, and Butterbean could be a boy or a girl.” She rubbed her belly. “Let me get my purse and we can head out.” She kissed his cheek on her way to the hall.
Her heart skipped a beat as she thought of seeing her family again. She couldn’t wait to hug her mother, Kathryn, and her sisters. And she hoped her father would be happy to see her too.
Thursday evening, Kathryn slipped the letter into her apron pocket and pulled plates from the cabinet in preparation for supper. A smile turned up the corners of her lips as she placed a bag of rolls onto the table. In less than two weeks, she would see her sister-in-law for the first time in three years, and her visit would bring the Beiler family together once again. The plan would come together solely due to Kathryn’s efforts. If she were a proud person, Kathryn would gloat.
The letter outlined Anna Mae’s plans. She and Kellan would check in at the Paradise B&B the afternoon of Wednesday, December 22, and have dinner with Kathryn and her family that night. Depending on how they were received, they would stay till Christmas, visiting and reconnecting with family and friends.
Kathryn’s smile deepened. Mary Rose, Vera, and some of the other relatives would be ecstatic when they saw Anna Mae, and they would have Kathryn to thank for it.
But how would David feel about her going against his wishes? Would he feel betrayed? Her smile transformed to a frown, for she knew the answer to those questions. David hadn’t mentioned Anna Mae since their last strained conversation. He would certainly be angry when Anna
Mae arrived at their home, but she believed in her heart that he would forgive her soon after seeing his sister.
The back door squeaked open, revealing David entering the kitchen. He crossed the room to the sink and washed his hands. “The kinner are on their way in from the barn.”
“I bet they’re hungry,” she said, placing a block of cheese on the table. She then grabbed a pot of soup from the stove. “I made some chicken noodle soup. It’s cold out there, ya?”
“Ya,” he said, drying his hands. “It’s hard to believe Grischtdaag is only a few weeks away. The boys were just discussing what gifts they hope to find on the table Christmas morning. It feels like only yesterday it was summer. Where did the year go?”
“I don’t know.” Kathryn grabbed a stack of bowls. “It seems like the years pass by quicker, the older we get.” She yanked open the drawer and reached for a handful of spoons and then placed the bowls and utensils on the table.
He snickered. “Ya. Some days I feel eighty instead of almost forty.” Stopping her on her way back to the table, he pulled her into his arms and brushed his lips across hers, sending her stomach into a wild swirl. “But then you make me feel young again.”
Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck and inhaled his scent, earth mixed with soap. “Ich liebe dich, David.” And please forgive me for planning your sister’s visit behind your back.
He took her face in his hands and his eyes were full of love. “Katie, I thank God for you and our kinner every day. This year I’m most thankful for you and our life together.”
She swallowed as the guilt of her secrecy rained down on her, then forced a smile. “Danki. I thank God for you daily too.” And I hope you’ll still trust me after Anna Mae’s visit.
His eyes studied hers. “You all right?”