by Peg Kehret
“Thanks.” Willow tucked the card into her notebook and left the library.
The sky seemed bluer than it had when she entered. A cluster of yellow roses outside the library, the last until next summer, offered their faint, sweet scent as she passed. She hadn’t noticed them when she went in but now she paused to sniff them, hugging her notebook as if it were a precious treasure.
She wasn’t crazy. She had not been hallucinating or imagining. A group of logical, respectable adults believed that reincarnation was possible.
She did dream of a past life; she did see herself as Kalos. She wasn’t worried anymore about finding proof.
“A sense of truth is the only proof,” Mrs. Evans had said.
A sense of truth.
Willow knew that her memories of Kalos and Tiy, and their life together, were true. She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sun.
“Thank you, Amun-Ra,” she said. Then she half-ran, half-skipped all the way home.
8
“SHE’S LOST her will to live.”
Willow and her parents sat in the hospital cafeteria while Mrs. Paige reported what the doctor had said that morning.
“Dr. Rogers explained how he would do a bone marrow transplant if he can find a donor, and do you know what Sarah said? She said, ‘Why bother? It won’t work anyway.’” Mrs. Paige twisted her hands together. “The fight’s gone out of her. It’s as if she doesn’t care whether she gets well or not.”
“She’s tired,” Mr. Paige said. “It’s hard to keep fighting when she’s struggled for so long.”
“We need to find something that would make her want to get well again. Something special, something for her to look forward to. Dr. Rogers says patients who try to get well do better than those who give up.”
As she listened, Willow got an idea. She would get Pete Wellington to visit Sarah and ask her to go out with him. Sarah would like that. A date with Pete would be something to look forward to.
Because of the risk of infection, Sarah was limited to one visitor per day, in addition to her parents. Usually, that visitor was Willow but if it would help Sarah to see Pete, Willow would give him her turn.
As soon as she and her parents finished lunch, she rode her bike over to Burger King and went inside. She was in luck. There were only two other customers and they already had their orders. She could talk to Pete alone.
“Hi, Pete,” she said.
“Uh, hi.” He looked surprised that she knew his name.
“I’m Willow Paige,” she said. “Sarah Paige’s sister.”
“Oh,” Pete said.
“Sarah’s still in the hospital.”
“Oh.”
What a sparkling conversation, Willow thought. If Sarah ever does go out with Pete, I wonder what they’ll talk about.
“I came to ask you to visit Sarah.”
“Me?” Pete said.
“Yes.” Who did he think she meant?
“At the hospital?”
Willow forced herself to keep smiling. “It would help her to have some company.”
Pete looked away. “I’m not very good with sick people,” he said. “Once when my sister cut her hand, I fainted.”
“It would make Sarah feel better.”
Pete still didn’t look at her. Why was he making her beg? What was he so afraid of?
“Leukemia isn’t contagious,” Willow said, “if that’s what you’re wondering. And she doesn’t look terrible. She isn’t bleeding or anything like that and she’s not hooked up to a bunch of tubes.”
Pete glanced at the door, as if hoping a customer would come in and demand to be waited on. “I guess I ought to go see her,” he said, “but . . . listen, tell her I’ll come see her as soon as she gets home.”
“You don’t understand,” Willow said. “Sarah is really sick. She—she may not go home.”
Pete’s eyes widened. “Are you telling me she’s dying?” he asked. He wiped the palms of his hands across his pants. “Is that what you’re saying?”
Willow glared at him. “I’m just saying we don’t know if she’ll get well or not. She’d like to see you. She needs something to look forward to and I thought you might ask her to go . . .”
“You want me to go see someone who’s dying? Man, I can’t handle that. No way. I’d faint for sure, if I had to look at someone who’s dying.”
Willow clenched her teeth and wondered what Sarah saw in this jerk. She’d like to bop him in the jaw, knock some sense into him. Instead, she smiled as sweetly as she could and said, “I promise you Sarah is still alive. If you go tomorrow, you’ll be safe.”
“The whole hospital scene gives me the creeps,” Pete said. “Dying! Man, I didn’t know Sarah was that sick.”
Willow couldn’t stand to hear any more. She spun around and marched out of Burger King. She would find some other way to help Sarah.
She didn’t tell Sarah that she’d talked to Pete. What was the point? If Sarah got well, she’d find out soon enough what an idiot Pete was. And if Sarah didn’t get well? In that case, Willow thought, it didn’t matter about Pete.
She went back to the hospital and stood beside Sarah’s bed. Sarah opened her eyes when Willow took her hand. Sarah’s hand was frail as a soap bubble and Willow realized her sister had lost more weight.
“You’re going to need a Size 3 soon,” Willow said. “Maybe I should check in here and go on a diet, too.”
Sarah smiled weakly. What am I doing? Willow thought. Sarah may not live through this and I stand here making stupid jokes about diets.
But she didn’t know what else to say.
Sarah closed her eyes again and soon her breathing became deep and regular. Willow tiptoed out of the room.
She was supposed to meet Helen at McDonald’s at six o’clock and she had to go home first to feed Muttsie and let him out.
“Why do you want to see me?” Helen had asked that morning, when Willow called her. “Did you have another one of your crazy dreams?”
“No. I have a present for you. A thank-you present.” That was true, but it was only part of the reason why Willow wanted to see Helen again.
“I’m going home tomorrow morning,” Helen said, “but I could meet you today, at McDonald’s.”
Willow got there right at six. She was afraid she was going to be late because Gretchen called just as Willow put Muttsie back in.
“Do you want to come over for dinner?” Gretchen asked. “My folks are going to a meeting and they said Ryan and I can send out for pizza.”
If she told Gretchen she was going to McDonald’s, Gretchen would want to go, too, and Willow wanted to be alone with Helen. They couldn’t talk about reincarnation in front of Gretchen, not when Gretchen thought it was sinful.
“I can’t come tonight,” Willow said.
“Why not?”
“Mom likes me to be at the hospital as much as I can. I was just leaving.” That wasn’t a lie, even though she knew Gretchen would think she was leaving to go to the hospital.
She felt guilty for not telling Gretchen the truth. Gretchen would be hurt if she ever found out that Willow met Helen for a burger and didn’t want to include Gretchen.
But this was her last chance to talk to Helen. Tomorrow morning, Helen would be gone. Willow could see Gretchen any time.
Helen liked her present, a thin silver bracelet.
While they ate, Willow told Helen about the seminar she’d gone to. “If I had the money,” she said, “I’d pay a therapist to help me do a past-life regression. A professional could probably help me find out when and where we lived before.”
“Maybe your parents will pay for it,” Helen said. “Have you asked them?”
Willow shook her head. “They don’t know anything about my dream or the visions I saw when I was drowning,” she said. “You’re the only one who knows. My parents are so worried about Sarah that I can’t bother them with this.”
“If they’re anything like my parents, they wouldn’t u
nderstand anyway,” Helen said.
“Are you going to tell your parents about it?” Willow asked.
“What’s there to tell? You’re the one with the odd dreams, not me. I haven’t seen any visions of myself in a different body.”
Willow twisted a piece of hair around her finger. When Helen said it like that, the whole thing sounded crazy. Yet, she felt the same connection, the same strong bond with this girl, that she had felt before. Willow was more convinced than ever that Helen was once Tiy.
“I wish you didn’t live so far away,” Willow said. “Will you write to me?”
“I’m not much for writing letters. I always have good intentions but somehow I put it off.”
“I can’t afford long-distance calls.” Willow looked down at her hands. Why was this so hard? She felt like she was saying good-bye to her dearest friend, instead of to a girl she’d met only twice before.
She was quiet for a moment, remembering how Helen had rescued her. A tingle of excitement shot down her back. She put her elbows on the table, leaned toward Helen and said, “When I was drowning, you knew I needed help, even though you didn’t hear me. We communicated without words that day. Maybe we can do it again.”
“You mean, you think we could talk somehow, without letters or phone calls?”
“Yes. If we try, maybe we can send our thoughts to each other.” She knew her idea was farfetched, but what did she have to lose? She couldn’t let Helen walk out of her life and never hear from her again.
“How would we do it?” Helen asked.
“What if,” Willow said, “we set a time, the same time every day, and we agree to think of each other at exactly that time? That way our thoughts are specifically directed toward each other.”
“Good grief,” Helen said. “You have the most far-out ideas of anyone I ever met.”
Willow wasn’t sure if that was a criticism or a compliment. “At least I’m not boring,” she said.
Helen laughed. “You are definitely not boring,” she said. She put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. “I’ve always wondered if mental telepathy really works.”
“Here’s your chance to find out,” Willow said. “We would both have to be alone when we do it. There couldn’t be any distractions.” She looked at Helen. “How about it? Do you want to try?”
“Why not? If it works, we can go on TV and make a million.”
“What time should we set? When can you count on being by yourself?”
“How about five o’clock every afternoon?”
Five o’clock. Most days at five o’clock, Willow was home. During the school year, that’s when she did her homework. In the summer, she usually watched the TV news or cooked something for dinner. Even now, with Sarah in the hospital, she could arrange to be home alone at five o’clock. Muttsie always had to be fed and taken out about that time.
“Five o’clock it is. We’ll think of each other every day at exactly five o’clock.” Willow opened her wallet and took out a snapshot of herself. “Here,” she said. “Maybe if you look at my picture at five o’clock, it will help you concentrate on me.”
Helen tucked the snapshot into her shirt pocket. “I don’t have a picture to give you,” she said.
“Mail me one as soon as you get home. Can you start the mental telepathy tomorrow?”
“I guess so.” Helen stood up and put her empty food containers on the tray.
“Tomorrow, then. Five o’clock sharp.” It wasn’t so hard to say good-bye to Helen now that she knew Helen would be thinking of her every single day at the same time. Maybe they would develop a mental telepathy that worked. Maybe they would actually be able to send their thoughts back and forth.
One thing was certain. It would be an interesting experiment. She could hardly wait until tomorrow, at five o’clock.
9
“I DIDN’T expect to see you here.”
Willow jumped when she heard the familiar voice.
Gretchen stood just inside the door to McDonald’s. “I thought you were going to the hospital,” she said.
“My plans changed,” Willow said. She introduced Helen to Gretchen. “I thought you were going to order pizza,” she said.
“My plans changed, too.”
Willow knew Gretchen was upset.
“I have to go,” Helen said. “My aunt wants me to pack tonight. It was nice to meet you, Gretchen.”
Willow put her hand on Helen’s arm. “Good-bye, Tiy,” she said softly. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Yes,” Helen said. “Tomorrow. Good-bye.” Helen turned and walked out of McDonald’s.
Willow swallowed and blinked hard. She wondered when—or if—she would see Helen again.
“What did you call her?” Gretchen said. “Tie?”
“Oh, that’s just a nickname,” Willow said.
“You two seem to know each other pretty well.”
“Yes,” Willow said. To herself she added, Yes. We do know each other well. We lived together once in a mud house near the Nile River.
As soon as she had the thought, her pulse quickened. The Nile River. It was the Nile River; she knew that somehow. She also knew that this one fact would make it much easier to figure out where Kalos and Tiy had lived. She rushed out the door of McDonald’s, leaving Gretchen to stare after her.
“Wait!” Willow shouted. “I just thought of something!”
Helen turned back as Willow ran to catch up to her.
“It was the Nile River,” Willow said. “That’s where I had my raft, where the crocodile almost got me. You saved me from drowning in the Nile River.”
“Good grief. How do you know that?”
“All of a sudden, the name just came to me.”
Spontaneous recall, she thought, remembering what she had learned at the seminar. I know because of spontaneous recall.
“The Nile is in Africa,” Helen said. “That will make it easier to find out about your sun god, won’t it? Maybe he was one of the Egyptian gods.”
Egypt. Yes, Willow thought, Kalos probably lived in ancient Egypt.
Impulsively, Willow hugged Helen. “Good-bye, sis,” she said.
When Willow returned to McDonald’s, Gretchen was gone.
As she pedaled home, Willow wished she had told Gretchen the truth from the start. Why hadn’t she just said that she already had plans instead of letting Gretchen think that she was going to the hospital? She could have said that Helen had invited her to meet for dinner. That way, when Gretchen saw them together, she wouldn’t have thought anything of it.
When she got home, she tried to call Gretchen. She let it ring twelve times before she hung up. Willow wondered if Gretchen was home and refusing to answer the phone.
The next day, Sarah was worse. Mr. Paige took the day off from work and stayed at the hospital. Willow and her mother stayed there, too. There wasn’t anything they could do for Sarah but it seemed important to be there. At least Sarah knew she wasn’t alone.
At four o’clock, Willow said she was going home to let Muttsie out. “I’ll make something for our dinner,” she said. She knew her parents would stay until visiting hours ended at eight.
Dinner and Muttsie were only excuses. She really wanted to be home at five o’clock, to be alone in the quiet house for her first experiment in mental telepathy.
She wondered exactly how it would work. Maybe she would get a vision of where Helen was and what she was doing. Or maybe Helen’s message would suddenly appear in her mind, the way the name of the Nile River did.
When she got home, Gretchen was standing on the porch, holding a basket.
“My mother made a casserole for our dinner,” she said, “and she made an extra for your family.”
“Thanks,” Willow said. “I was supposed to fix dinner and I don’t feel like cooking.”
“Mom called the hospital to find out when you would be home. Your mother said Sarah isn’t doing too well. I’m sorry.”
Willow unloc
ked the door and Gretchen followed her inside. Gretchen took the basket into the kitchen and put the casserole dish in the refrigerator.
“The instructions for baking it are taped on top,” she said. “Can you believe how efficient my mother is?” She plopped down in a kitchen chair. “I’ve been petting Mrs. Clauson’s current dog through the fence while I waited for you to get home. I’ve always liked cocker spaniels.”
Willow glanced nervously at her watch. It was 4:45. Somehow she needed to get rid of Gretchen in the next fifteen minutes so that she could sit quietly and think about Helen.
The mental telepathy wouldn’t work unless she was alone. She had to be able to close her eyes and concentrate, to shut out every distraction.
She couldn’t ask Gretchen to leave, without telling her why. But she couldn’t say why she wanted to be alone at five o’clock, either. Gretchen was probably still a little angry about finding Willow and Helen together at McDonald’s. It would only hurt her feelings more to learn that Willow and Helen had a secret pact to think of each other every day at the same time.
“Well, do you or not?” Gretchen asked.
Willow blinked. “Do I what?”
Gretchen scowled at her. “Do you want to go over to my house and do the new aerobics video my mom got?”
“Oh. No, not right now. But you go ahead.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
“I’m just tired. That’s why I don’t want to do the aerobics video. I think I’ll go take a nap.”
Gretchen nodded, clearly unconvinced. Willow sneaked another look at her watch—4:55.
“I can’t believe this,” Gretchen said. “You want me to leave, don’t you?”
“No. That is, I don’t want you to leave, I just . . .”
“I don’t think you’re tired at all,” Gretchen said. “And you don’t want to take a nap, either. I don’t know what you want to do, but I think it has something to do with that Helen. Am I right?”
Willow hesitated. She couldn’t lie to Gretchen again. Gretchen was her best friend.