by Elena Aitken
“I suppose it could be a horse,” Morgan said carefully. “They do look similar.”
The little girl eyed her cautiously as she stroked the clay figure. It looked familiar but Morgan couldn’t place it. Like something she’d seen in the lobby, maybe?
“You know what, Ella?” Morgan was struck with an idea. “Maybe there are some toy horses around here we could play with.” She scanned the room, looking at the various bins and shelves full of toys and craft supplies. “I bet we could find some.” Morgan hopped up and to her surprise, Ella followed.
Together, they searched through the baskets and buckets of surprisingly well-organized toys until they found a bin labeled “farm animals.”
“Jack pot,” Morgan declared and pulled the bucket out on the carpet. She upended it, spilling the contents of a variety of barnyard animals, including three plastic horses. Ella let out a high-pitched squeal and grabbed up the horses. Morgan busied herself, setting up the fences and the other animals while Ella galloped them around the carpet. She didn’t want to say anything to break the spell that the little girl was under, so she took her time arranging the rest of the farm. After a few minutes, Ella looked up.
“Do you want to play with all the animals?” Morgan asked her.
Ella shook her head and clutched the horses to her chest.
“That’s okay,” Morgan said. “You don’t have to. The horses are great. You just let me know if you want to play with anything else, okay?”
The little girl nodded and went back to her play. The clay deer seemed to be the "horse" in charge while the little plastic horses galloped around in circles. Morgan sat back and watched for a few minutes before she pushed up off the floor and started wandering around the room. While Ella played, Morgan snooped through the drawers, marveling at what she found. The Cub’s Club was remarkably well-equipped, not only with a wide variety of toys, but also educational tools that would excite any child-care professional. Even though she had no interest in staying on, old habits die hard and Morgan couldn’t help but let her imagination run free with all the programs she could run in such a space. Along one wall, she found a cabinet with books and binders that contained ideas for games, hikes, treasure hunts, and other activities that were obviously conducted at the Lodge.
She couldn’t help herself; Morgan felt a thrill go through her. It wasn’t just a babysitting room. Everything about the Cub’s Club was exactly what she had hoped to be doing with her degree. Well, maybe not exactly, but if she were being honest with herself, planning parties wasn’t what she wanted, either. Working with children was. It’s all she’d ever wanted. She glanced to where Ella was playing quietly. The little girl clearly had some issues and only a few months ago Morgan would have been enthusiastic at the prospect of helping her work through them.
Morgan twisted a strand of hair around her finger and contemplated the idea. Could she bring herself to work with children every day when the truth about her own childlessness was still so fresh and hard to bear? The now-familiar twist in her stomach as she thought about all she’d never have flared up. “No,” she whispered to herself. “I can’t do it. It’s too hard.”
For the rest of the morning, Morgan tried to busy herself with tidying up the room that was already incredibly clean. She tried to get Ella to talk, but either the little girl was much more interested in her horses or she just didn’t want to talk to a strange woman—probably both. Finally, around lunchtime, Ella got off the floor and stretched her legs. Morgan waited while she made her way across the room to her. Sometimes a child needed to make the first move. She waited, and eventually Ella approached her.
The little girl made a motion to her mouth.
“Are you hungry?”
Ella nodded.
“Can you tell me that you’re hungry?”
Ella shook her head violently.
“I know you can tell me, Ella.” Morgan spoke softly but firmly. “I’ve heard you speak, so I know you can.”
Ella clamped her lips together, and her eyes widened, but Morgan didn’t stop talking. “I know sometimes it’s scary to say what you need to say and you might think I won’t listen to you. But I will. I promise that whatever you say, I’ll always listen. Even if it’s just to tell me that you’re hungry. And,” she added, “talking is the best way to let everyone know what you want. Do you understand?”
She nodded and then just when Morgan thought it was a lost cause, Ella opened her mouth and said, “Lunch.”
A smile split Morgan’s face and she nodded in agreement. “It is lunch. Did your dad pack you a sandwich?”
Ella shook her head and Morgan raised her eyebrows. “No,” Ella said, her voice tiny and quiet.
“Okay. So what do you say we go find something to eat?” Morgan stood and without offering, Ella slipped her hand into Morgan’s. As a reflex, Morgan squeezed her small fingers tightly and she thought her heart might crack from the simple action. Her instinct was to pull away, protect herself from the pain. But when she looked down at Ella’s dark eyes staring up through her blond fringe, she couldn’t do it. The little girl looking up at her was hurting. And her own pain would have to wait, at least for the moment.
Together, they went in search of the dining room, and Morgan, unaware of the protocol for the Cub’s Club, persuaded the kitchen manager to make them grilled cheese sandwiches, which they ate at a picnic table that overlooked the pond in the courtyard.
The rest of the day passed quickly, and soon Carmen reappeared at the door. “So?” she asked, glancing around. “How did it go?” Her gaze landed on Ella, curled up in the oversized cushions under the base of the large treehouse that sat against one wall. “She looks content.”
“She is,” Morgan said. “We played hard all day and she finally succumbed to a nap. It was a big day.”
Carmen walked to Morgan, peering down at Ella as she passed. “She’s a sweet child. It’s a shame what she’s been through.”
Morgan bristled. She normally didn’t like talking about a child’s situation when they were in the room, but Ella was asleep, and she couldn’t help her natural curiosity. “What do you mean?”
“Well, she’s only just come to be with her father.” Morgan remembered the man at the campfire the night before roasting marshmallows with Ella. “And she’s only just met him. Her mother died unexpectedly about a month ago and left little more than a note, but the poor thing never even knew her father.”
Ella was essentially alone, which would explain her communication issues. It must be terribly confusing for such a little child to lose her mother and get thrust into a new relationship with a man she didn’t even know.
“Oh my,” Morgan said. “I can’t even imagine what she must be going through. Her unwillingness to speak is a classic response to a stressful situation.” Morgan let her thoughts drift for a minute, going through the countless other symptoms that Ella might display. “You said this just happened recently?”
“Within the week,” Carmen said. “As far as I know it was a one-night stand type of thing. I don’t really know the details so I shouldn’t really say too much more.”
“No, you shouldn’t.” Both women turned in the direction of the voice.
~ ~
Bo stood in the doorway, his arms crossed and his mouth pressed into a very tight, very angry frown. A sheen of sweat beaded on his forehead, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up despite the coolness outside. He had the undeniable look of a man who’d been putting in a hard day of physical work, and Morgan couldn’t help the twinge of desire that shot through her when she looked at him. She immediately shut it down, which wasn’t hard seeing how angry he was.
“Bo,” Carmen started. Her face turned crimson and she fluttered her hands in front of her. “I was just—“
“Gossiping about my daughter,” he said, finishing the statement for her.
His daughter? Morgan turned quickly between Bo and Ella trying to process what he’d just said. Wasn’t the muscle-bound man
from the fire Ella’s father?
“And we’ll be going,” he said. He strode into the room and across the carpet to where Ella was just waking up. She sat up and put her fists to her eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. Bo came to a stop in front of her and held out his hand. He looked much less confident than he had a moment before. “It’s time to go, Ella.” Morgan couldn’t help but be impressed with the way he spoke to her. His voice had softened, despite his irritation with her and Carmen.
The little girl shook her head and clutched her clay deer to her chest.
“Ella,” Bo said again, “we need to go.”
She didn’t answer, but pushed up from the floor, scattering the plastic horses on her lap. She ran to Morgan and wrapped herself around her leg.
Morgan felt her chest tighten and she reflexively put her arms around Ella. She looked down to the little girl, who had a remarkably strong grip on her. Just as her training had taught her, she looked into Ella’s eyes. Morgan’s time in various classrooms and working with troubled children had taught her that more often than not, if a child didn’t want to go with her parents, there was a good reason. But no, when Morgan searched Ella’s wide eyes, there was no fear contained in them. But there was something else. More of a look of bewilderment, which would make sense, given everything she’d been through.
“You work here?” Bo asked.
Morgan looked away from Ella to meet Bo’s gaze. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest and he was openly staring at her. She could tell he was struggling to maintain his composure.
“Morgan was just filling in for us,” Carmen said. “I’m afraid she’ll be leaving us after today.”
Ella squeezed Morgan’s leg tighter and when she looked down again, the little girl’s eyes were filling with tears. Slowly, Morgan pried Ella’s fingers apart and crouched so she could look into her eyes.
“No,” Ella whispered. “You stay.”
“Ella, I—“
“Did she just talk to you?” Bo interrupted. “She doesn’t talk. I mean, she does,” he spoke quickly, his voice taking on a new urgency, “but she’s only ever said a handful of words to me.”
Morgan ignored him and kept her focus on the little girl. “It’s okay, sweetie.” She brushed away a tear that slid down Ella’s cheek. “I’m right here.”
“Don’t go.”
The frail voice broke Morgan’s heart and she squeezed her own eyes tightly in defense. She couldn’t stay. She knew that. She’d spent the entire day convincing herself it wasn’t a good idea and mentally preparing for the trip down the mountain and back to the city. She couldn’t change her mind, because of one child.
“You can’t be serious,” Bo’s strong voice broke through her thoughts.
Behind her, Carmen spoke. “I’m afraid Morgan will be leaving the Lodge after her shift today,” she said. “She’s decided the job isn’t for her. I’ve tried to persuade her to change her mind, but she won’t stay.”
“Try harder,” Bo said. He spoke as if she wasn’t in the room, just mere steps away. “You see how Ella is responding to her—she can’t go. Offer her more money.”
“Bo, I’m afraid I can’t do that. I’ve—“
“You haven’t tried,” he growled. Morgan listened as his footsteps traveled the room, but still she didn’t take her eyes off Ella.
“You know you’ll be fine without me?” Morgan spoke quietly, so only Ella could hear.
The little girl shook her head violently and wrapped her arms around Morgan’s neck. The room was silent except for Ella’s slight sobs and then Bo’s heavy steps moving back towards them.
“You’re not leaving,” he said.
Something in his tone, demanding and forceful, caused Morgan to pry Ella’s arms away and turn around. “Excuse me?”
“There’s no way you can leave,” Bo said. “I’m not doing that to her.” He pointed to his daughter, whose face was now buried in Morgan’s shoulder.
Morgan looked up at him with his strong arms crossed over his broad chest, his dark hair tousled from a day spent outdoors and it didn’t take much to realize that Bo was probably used to getting his way. He had the air of a man who didn’t take no for an answer and hadn’t she already experienced that firsthand?
Carefully, with Ella still attached to her, Morgan stood. Giving herself time to form her thoughts, and keep herself calm, she did her best to straighten her shirt while balancing the surprisingly light child on her hip. “I don’t think you’re in any position to tell me what to do.” Morgan made sure to look him directly in the eyes when she spoke and she didn’t miss the flash of humor, or maybe it was irritation, that sparked there.
“Ms.?”
“Pierce,” Morgan offered.
“Ms. Pierce,” Bo said with a cocky smile. “It’s true that I’m not in a position to make you stay in your job, but maybe I can appeal to your humanity?”
“Is that what you’re doing?” She glared at him, meeting his stare head on. The muscles low in her belly contracted and she was immediately annoyed with herself for reacting to him. She forced herself to look away and focus on Ella. “Remember that little fridge we found in the office?” Morgan pointed to the little administration room off the main Cub’s Club space.
Ella nodded.
“Do you think you could show Carmen those popsicles we found there?”
Ella’s face split into a smile, but it quickly faded and she clung tighter to Morgan.
“I promise not to go anywhere while you’re gone,” she said. “Okay?”
The little girl stared into Morgan’s eyes as if searching for the truth. They were so much like her father’s eyes, filled with the same intensity. Morgan waited until Ella nodded slowly and then she set her on the ground. She watched as Carmen took Ella’s hand and together they walked across the room. It wasn’t until they’d disappeared inside the office that Morgan turned back to Bo.
“Are you about finished?” She spat the question at him, surprising herself with her vehemence. “What makes you think I’d change my plans because you said the word? You may be used to getting who and what you want around here, but I can’t be so easily swayed. I have my own reasons for leaving the Lodge and they don’t include you or what it is that you want me to do.”
Morgan jammed her hands in her front pockets but didn’t back down. She waited for him to say something. It felt like forever but it could have only have been a few seconds. Finally, she watched as his face transformed into a sly smile.
“You aren’t going to change your plans for me,” he said. His self-confidence was starting to grate on her. “You’re going to change them for her.” He gestured to the office where Carmen and Ella still hadn’t reemerged. “You like her.”
“She’s a sweet kid.”
“You care about her,” he said. “I can see it in your face. And thanks to chatty Carmen, I know you’ve heard at least some version of her story.”
Morgan swallowed hard. She was all too aware that she was losing this battle of wills. “I don’t want to work with children,” she said. The moment the words were out of her mouth she wanted to grab them back. He didn’t need to know her story.
Bo choked back a laugh and took a step closer to her. Morgan fought hard to control her breathing; every nerve ending was alert and on edge with his proximity, but she didn’t dare step back. “Now, Ms. Pierce,” he said, his voice low and deep but somehow not menacing in the slightest. “Is it me you’re lying to? Or yourself?”
Morgan’s breath hitched. There’s no way he could know; no one did. But from the look in his eyes, it was clear that Bo had figured out that something was up. He was so close, she could smell him. A combination of pine and fresh air. If that was a cologne, they should bottle it. It clouded her thoughts and she struggled to maintain control. She was positive he’d be able to hear her heart racing but she refused to let him see how he affected her. Especially when she herself wasn’t sure. She worked hard to still her racing thoughts and
to figure out her next move.
“Stay,” he breathed. She could feel the breath on her face as he spoke. His voice was softer, and despite herself, she met his gaze again. The hard, challenging eyes she’d seen a moment earlier were gone. Like his voice, they too were softer, almost as if they’d changed color. “Please,” he said. “Stay.” Bo reached between them and touched his hand to her cheek. His touch was brazen and far too intimate but it sent a thrill racing through her body, directly to her center.
She opened her mouth to speak. “I—“
“Morgan.” Ella’s voice surprised them both. Bo dropped his hand and they both took a step away from each other as Ella ran across the room and grabbed Morgan’s leg with one sticky, popsicle covered hand. The other held the drippy, red treat. “You’re here.”
“Of course.” Morgan smiled and glanced at Bo whose mouth was agape. Of course, if Ella had barely even spoken to him, it would definitely be unusual to hear her speak so clearly, let alone loudly.
After a moment, Bo regained his composure and mouthed the word please to her.
She glanced between them, father and daughter, and felt a tug that both excited and disturbed her at the same time. “Okay,” Morgan said. “I’ll stay.” She spoke the last words to Bo directly and then, so there was no misunderstanding, she added, “For Ella.”
Chapter Seven
By the third day Bo had been taking Ella to the Cub’s Club, he could already see a difference in her. She seemed happier, and more content. It was Morgan he had to thank for that. Ella really seemed to like her. And she wasn’t the only one. The few times he’d seen Morgan since their confrontation, he couldn’t ignore the pull he felt towards her. It wasn’t like anything he’d felt for any other woman before, which both irritated and excited him. But his feelings or attraction, or whatever it was he was feeling for Morgan, didn’t matter. What mattered was that Ella was happy. Or at least happier than she had been. And although Bo would never imagine that a little girl’s happiness would ever mean so much to him, there was no denying that when Ella smiled, so did he. And she was smiling. Still not as much as he thought a four year-old should, but it was a start.