by Clarke, Lucy
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Finn shouted.
‘She fell,’ Katie told him. ‘Mia fell.’
‘I was with her,’ Noah said. He explained that Mia had come to the cliff top to help him. That her death was an accident.
Finn listened closely, his expression unreadable. Afterwards he said, ‘So you’ve been letting us believe a lie.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You’re the reason Mia came out here. We were supposed to be going to New Zealand together. We had plans.’
‘I never asked her to come.’
Without warning, Finn grabbed Noah by the scruff of his neck, forcing him backwards.
Katie’s hands flew to her mouth. They were only a foot away from the edge. One more step and they’d both go over.
Finn pushed his face up to Noah’s, shouting, ‘That absolves you?’
There was no fight in Noah as he said, ‘I’m not looking for absolution.’
‘Finn!’ she begged. ‘Let him go!’
But he didn’t seem to hear her. ‘How could you leave her? You fucked off to Bali. Didn’t even tell her. She’d already been through hell.’
‘I know she had. And I didn’t want to hurt her either. I knew I couldn’t make her happy because I couldn’t even make myself happy. So I left.’ He held Finn’s gaze as he said, ‘But it doesn’t mean I didn’t care about Mia. I loved her.’
For a moment there were no words between the men, only the sound of wind curling over the cliff top.
Katie felt blood pulsing in her throat.
Finn’s hands dropped to his sides and he stepped back. He had once said that if Noah had loved Mia, it would have been easier to let her go.
Katie let out the breath she’d been holding.
Noah ran a hand slowly over his throat. When he looked up, his eyes met hers. ‘I wish everything had been different. I’m so sorry.’
She thought of what he’d given her tonight: the truth. More valuable than anything. For that, she said, ‘It was an accident, Noah.’
He pressed his lips together, nodded. Then he turned and moved towards the path, casting a final glance at the sea before disappearing through the trees. As she watched him leave, she hoped that some horizon out there would one day bring him comfort. Mia would have wanted that.
After a moment, Finn stepped close to her, taking her hand. ‘Are you okay?’
She nodded. ‘How did you know I’d be here?’
‘I came back to your room. I wanted to talk to you about what you’d said … about us. But you’d left. Ketut told me he’d booked you a taxi to Umanuk. So I came here.’
She looked at him closely and saw the tension melting from his features. She didn’t know what Finn had returned to her room to say, but she knew he’d come up here for her. ‘Thank you.’
He squeezed her hand. Her fingers felt warm and safe within his – and she allowed herself to hope.
‘Are you ready?’
She made a final, sweeping glance of the cliff top – a place that had dominated her darkest thoughts for months. Now she saw that it was just a mound of earth, no more than that. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs. ‘Yes, I am.’
She’d been terrified of this moment: reaching the end of Mia’s journey and having to start out on her own. But as they began to move away, their palms touching, the echo of wind and the rumble of waves fading in her wake, she realized that she wasn’t leaving Mia behind; she was carrying her sister with her.
When I smell salt air, it is you I’ll think of running along the beach with, your hair flying behind you. When I hear laughter, it is ours I’ll remember bouncing off the slats of the bunk bed we shared. When I listen to soul music, it is us I’ll picture dancing barefoot in the lounge.
I’ve no idea what happens from here – whether I’ll go back to London, or Cornwall, or even fly to a new country – because I’m no longer the same person who once plotted out schedules and itineraries. But I will make one plan. And it is because of you, Mia. Because of us. Tomorrow, I will step onto the beach, drop my towel on the warm sand, wade into the clear Balinese waters and kick my legs and swim.
A Chat with Lucy Clarke
Questions for Discussion
The W6 Book Café
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank the following people for making this book possible: my agent, Judith Murray, for her advice and wisdom; my friends and early readers whose feedback and enthusiasm has been so incredibly helpful; my parents, Jane and Tony, for their unwavering encouragement and support, and finally, I would like to thank my husband, James, for always believing in me.
About the Author
Lucy Clarke studied English Literature at Cardiff University. She has worked as an advertising executive and a presenter of enterprise events for students. She is now a full-time novelist. She spends her winters travelling and her summers at her home near Bournemouth, where she lives with her husband, James.
Find out more at www.lucy-clarke.com
Copyright
Harper
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This ebook first published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2013
Copyright © Lucy Clarke 2013
Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2013
Cover photograph © Bildhuset / plainpicture • Author photograph © James Bowden
Lucy Clarke asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Source ISBN: 9780007481347
Ebook Edition MAY 2013 ISBN: 9780007481354
Version 1
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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