by Reber, Tina
“They invited us back to their hotel,” he admitted.
For some reason, I wasn’t too surprised.
“Go ahead. Have fun. Wait, are you driving?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s okay though, I stopped drinking a while ago. I want to remember every detail of the next couple of hours if you know what I mean!” Cory smiled smugly and flashed his eyes back to Francesca. “I’ll bring Ryan’s buddy back tomorrow.”
“Hey where are they going?” Ryan stopped dead in his tracks and wheeled around when he noticed Scott leaving. Scott didn’t even acknowledge Ryan; he was completely focused on other things.
Slowly the rest of our guests departed and it was almost three in the morning when I turned off the lights. I planned to clean up the bar in the morning. I had more important things to take care of.
Matt and Laura were stowed away comfortably in the guestroom. I closed our bedroom door and smiled in disbelief.
My birthday boy was sprawled out on our bed, wearing nothing but his birthday suit and a slightly drunken grin… waiting for his birthday present.
Chapter 24 - Sobering
“What the hell happened to Scott last night?” Matt asked, stuffing another piece of bacon in his mouth. Laura was taking her turn in the shower.
“He left with Suzanne,” Ryan answered. “Maybe she won’t be so bitchy now.” He chuckled to himself.
“Hopefully Cory gave Fran someone new to think about, too.” I winked.
Ryan smiled at me over his cup of coffee.
Once everyone was showered, dressed, and fed I went downstairs to clean up the pub. I was clearing off the tables when Ryan popped through the door. He started to gather the garbage.
“What can we do to help?” Laura asked. I was thankful that I had willing hands to help clean up the remains of Ryan’s birthday party.
“I still can’t believe you did this!” Ryan said, kissing me on one of his trips past. “How long have you been conspiring behind my back?” he asked.
“A couple of weeks. Your friends were more than willing to be in on the surprise.”
“Matt told me you made him look you up on the Internet,” Ryan teased.
“Yeah! He didn’t believe you had a girlfriend!” I poked him in the stomach and went to answer the doorbell.
“Hey! There they are!” Ryan’s voice boomed when he saw Cory and Scott walk through the front door.
“Man! What the hell is it with all the photographers and chicks out there?” Scott motioned with his thumb, pointing to the door. “Don’t they ever go home?”
“No. They live here now. They’re like zombies that don’t die when the sun comes up.” I laughed at my own comment.
“So how was your night, Scott?” Ryan gave him a teasing nudge in the arm.
Scott’s eyes narrowed. “What do you think? I made her fucking night… several times!” he boasted. “She’s a screamer, that girl!”
He held up a small, white plastic bag in his hand. “Good thing we stopped at the drug store on our way back. I’m planning on making her scream again tonight.”
Ryan’s face puckered up. He grabbed Scott’s arm and hauled him off into the poolroom. I didn’t care much for Suzanne, but she was Ryan’s co-star and a celebrity - she had no privacy either. There were enough rumors and scandals floating around in the media about the Seaside cast already. Suzanne’s indiscretions didn’t need to be added to the pile. I was sure that Ryan was going to tell him the same thing.
“Francesca and Suzanne are planning on coming here tonight,” Cory quietly informed me. “I hope you don’t mind.”
I shrugged and shook my head. It didn’t bother me, as long as Fran wasn’t here to see Ryan. But I was wise enough to know things like this could have powerful ripple effects.
“Cory, I’m not going to tell you what you can and cannot do, but you do realize that Fran is a celebrity. I hope you keep your private activities with her private and discreet. Understand?”
“Yeah, I understand. I know what I’ve gotten myself into. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be like that guy and announce stuff to the world.” He nodded his head in Scott’s direction. “Francesca is sweet and I’d never do that to her. But I would like to see her again. And she wants to see me too, so…” Cory shrugged.
“Just keep it private. That’s all I ask. We’re all under the microscope now,” I stressed my point.
“I will. Hey, sorry I can’t stay to help clean up. I’ve got to get some sleep. I’ll see you at four,” Cory said, putting his sunglasses back on. “Oh, and before I forget, I already talked to my roommate. He’ll cover the door tonight.”
“Did Cory leave?” Ryan asked me a few moments later.
I nodded.
“Damn. I wanted to talk to him too.”
I whispered to Ryan. “I talked to him. I reminded him to keep his personal business private and discreet. You may want to talk with Matt and Laura about confidentiality as well.”
“I already did.” A tiny smile cracked on his lips.
The early afternoon flew by quickly. It took us several hours to clean up the mess and I mopped all the floors and even cleaned the bathrooms. Ryan suggested several times that I hire a company to clean the bar every day but I was used to taking care of the grunt work on my own.
Scott passed out in the guestroom upstairs; guess he didn’t sleep much last night either. Ryan, Matt, and Laura were lounging in the living room, watching television. I logged on to the Internet.
“What are you doing, Honey?” Ryan’s tone indicated his disappointment.
“Checking up on things.”
“Why are you looking?” he groaned, concerned.
I flashed my eyes up to him and kept my reply quiet. “Because your public image is my concern too. Before I forget to tell you, Francesca and Suzanne are coming tonight. We’re going to need security in the bar. Do you want Mike here?”
Ryan didn’t answer. He just walked away.
I clicked a link and was directed to a gossip magazine’s website. The headline “Ryan Christensen’s Love Affairs” caught my attention. The site had side-by-side pictures of Ryan and Suzanne kissing, Ryan and I walking down the sidewalk, and the picture of him and that girl from the Manhattan dinner meeting. The story pretty much accused him of being a reckless playboy. The words “plays the field” were included in the article.
I clicked another link and was now viewing pictures of Ryan kissing, smiling, leaning on, and holding Suzanne. The caption stated that their love affair was still going strong.
I hit the back button and clicked on another link – this one described my new bodyguard, Kyle, being the new man in my life and how Ryan was furious and jealous. There was a picture of Kyle and me entering the back door of my pub together. The article posted a random picture of Ryan looking angry next to it. All meant to generate shock, I supposed. The story made it sound like I was cheating on Ryan.
The last click I made showed a picture of Ryan and Suzanne snuggling in a bed. It looked like they were both naked, although you could only see Suzanne’s bare shoulders. Most of Ryan’s naked torso was exposed.
I jumped when Ryan popped his head next to mine.
“Turn it off before I throw the damn laptop out the window,” he whispered his angry threat in my ear.
I quickly closed the Internet connection. Ryan grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me out of the chair. We hurried down the hallway to our bedroom.
He shoved the door closed behind him with extra force and glared at me.
“How long have you been surfing the web like that?” he growled between his gritted teeth.
I didn’t answer. His anger caught me off-guard.
“Why the hell are you looking up shit on the Internet? Do you need more reasons in your head not to trust me?”
“Please keep your voice down. We have guests, remember? I’m sorry,” I whispered. I felt terrible that I upset him.
“I am trying so damn hard to make sure our relatio
nship stays on track, knowing full well that we have more obstacles than most. And then I see you doing that shit! What the fuck, Taryn?”
I didn’t know how to fully explain my actions. “I was curious to see what the public was being told.” I was so ashamed my words were barely audible. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
“What else do you need to know? This is our life, right here! It’s happening right now! I am standing in this room with you. I’m not out there in those pictures. I don’t give a damn what the public is being told!”
“What if the situation was reversed and the magazines were printing stories that I’m some whore who’s screwing three different guys at once. You don’t think that would concern you?” I asked.
“But you’re not! And I certainly am not doing what they accuse me of. I have no control over what trash they print.”
“Yes, you do.” I thought about several ways he could get the point across to the world that he was a one-woman kind of man, that he in fact was currently involved with just one woman, but he’d have to make that move on his own.
“How?” Ryan barked.
I chickened out and bit my tongue. “I thought you had a publicist?” I stated calmly.
He scoffed. “If all those Seaside fans want to fantasize that I’m actually living the shit that’s filmed, that me and Suzanne are some star-crossed lovers, what am I supposed to do about it? Put out a public statement that they’re all deluded?” He threw his hands up in the air.
“And that picture of me and that girl from New York, that little picture is going to still pop up years from now. Those trash magazines are going to say that I’m cheating on you with her one day!”
He took a deep breath. “You have to realize that some of that shit is printed specifically to generate public reaction. They will post pictures of me and Suzanne just to keep the public interested in the film. They will print shit just to keep my career controversial and fresh. I may be asked to do stuff that might upset you just to pique public interest. It’s all part of the game.”
He sat down on the bed, facing me. “Honey, our relationship has to be built on trust. That stuff is just going to tear it down.”
I looked down at my hands. He was right; my behavior was incorrigible but I wasn’t alone there.
He took my hand and pressed it to his chest. “This… this is real.”
“So if your PR team asks you to screw some actress to pique public interest, is that what you’re willing do to keep your career controversial? I just want to be clear on how far you’re willing to go.”
His tone was angry and sarcastic. “Yes, Taryn. I’m going to throw away our relationship, forget that I’m in love with you, and screw every woman that throws her legs up in the air. Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you need to believe that I truly am? Just like your ex-fiancé? That I’m no different from every other asshole who has ever cheated on you?”
I looked away and winced from the sting of his words. That was a low blow but in a way I deserved it. Pain cracked in my chest and the tears of shame formed in my eyes.
He stood up from the bed and knelt down on the floor in front of me.
“I’m not them, Tar. I don’t know what else to do to make you have faith in me. Why don’t you trust me?”
“I do trust you,” I muttered, wiping the tear from my cheek. “This whole conversation has nothing to do with trust. There are just so many other influences out there. It’s hard to keep up with it all.” I looked him in the eyes.
“Ryan, your life is public. I want to know what’s being said about you. I want to protect you from all the daggers that are flying in your direction. Shield you from the lies.” I picked a tissue out of the box on the nightstand and wiped my face.
“You can’t protect me from it - you’re way outnumbered,” he said, defeated.
I took a deep breath. “It’s more than that. The other reason I look is, sometimes I feel like I’m living with two people… the man I’m in love with and some other guy I barely know. The photo shoots, premiers, public appearances, magazine spreads, interviews, all of that is in here too.” I pressed my hand back on his chest. “I look so I can understand it all; so I can be connected and in love with all of you.”
Ryan rubbed his face and sighed. “I didn’t see it that way. I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he whispered, staring solemnly into my eyes.
I sniffed back my tears and acknowledged his apology with a nod.
“I don’t want your mind to get clouded with the lies, Taryn. That’s all.” He picked up my hand, wrapping it in his. “It’s so easy for fabricated stories to appear believable. They even merge pictures and try to pass them off as real.”
“Regardless Ryan, all those real pictures of you, all those poses, stills, and magazine spreads, those are all little bits and pieces of you – of who you are, of things you’ve been through, things you’ve experienced. All of that is a side of you that I don’t know. In a way it helps me understand you.”
He breathed out another sigh and tapped our gathered hands into his forehead. He looked up into my eyes.
“I think this is the part where I apologize and we kiss and make up,” he suggested softly.
I fidgeted a bit, still wiping the remnants of tears from my cheeks.
“I think this is the part where we realize that we still have a lot to learn about each other. That it takes a lot more than physical love to keep people together.”
He stood up in front of me, pulling me up off the bed by my hands.
“You’re right,” he agreed. “I’m so sorry for blowing up at you.”
“I’m sorry for giving you a reason to do so, but I hope you see the reasons why I look and don’t get upset with me if I do it again.”
He shook his head, exhaling harshly. “You’re going to see stuff and think it’s true. I really wish you wouldn’t.”
I spent the next few hours trying to look happy in front of our guests, careful not to let on that I was still mulling over the heated discussion he and I had.
Suzanne and Francesca showed up later in the evening; tonight was their last night in Seaport. Both of them had flights to catch the next day. Scott was trying to pump Suzanne full with shots - I suppose to loosen her up again - however she continued to watch every move that Ryan made. She would flirt with Scott and then check to see if Ryan saw it. Unfortunately for her, Ryan had other things on his mind that he was worrying about - fans.
It didn’t take long for word to get out that Ryan Christensen was in Mitchell’s Pub again. Girls started to arrive in droves. Cory’s friend Trevor was working the door for me and after a while I had him stop allowing people in; we were crowded enough with obsessive females.
Ryan was doing his best to just deal with it all. I could see he was trying to have fun and blend in and not worry about the extra attention he was getting, but he had to work at it.
Suzanne did not like it at all when Scott left her side to become Ryan’s wingman. Just standing in close proximity to Ryan provided Scott with a hearty selection of new women to talk to. It didn’t take her long to slip her way in between Ryan and Scott.
“Taryn?”
I heard my name called out. It was a female voice – French accent. Francesca waved her fingers at me.
“Yes, Francesca?” I asked, trying to be polite.
“Can I speak to you privately?” Her eyes scanned tentatively for my reaction.
Ryan, of course, noticed us walking towards the kitchen door. I gestured my confusion, silently answering his questioning stare.
“I just want to apologize to you,” she said. “I have treated you badly and unfairly and I’m very sorry.” She sounded sincere.
“It’s all right,” I responded, trying to sound just as sincere. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You probably know that I have liked Ryan for a long time, but I know that he does not feel the same way about me as I do him.” Her admission made her stare at the floor.
“He deserves to be happy and I can see he is in love with you.” Her lips curled into a brief smile. “I can only hope that I too will have that happiness one day.”
“You will,” I assured her.
“I was wondering… has Cory said anything to you about me?”
Her question perplexed me for a moment. I felt like we were young teenagers talking about our boy crushes and she was searching for insider information.
“I think it’s safe to say that he likes you,” I told her, feeling suddenly like an older sister.
“I like him too, very much. He is so nice and sweet and handsome, but…” She stopped to ponder.
“But what?” I asked.
She twitched, almost afraid to continue. She didn’t need to.
“You’re afraid of what the public will think,” I stated, pointing out the obvious.
She looked at me and nodded.
“How does he make you feel?” I questioned, knowing there was more.
Francesca smiled gloriously and pressed her hands to her heart.
“You deserve to be happy too. And the choice is really yours. Cory is very ambitious, but he will still put your needs ahead of his own and treat you like gold. He’s just beginning to find his career direction. And he will be successful at it. But then there’s always the alternative choice… you could get involved with some young, rich guy who constantly thinks that the next girl he hooks up with is going to be even better than you.” I waited until she looked at me again.
“Francesca, I’m terrified about what the public thinks of me too,” I admitted. “I know people all around the world feel that he could do better than me, but better how? Someone with more money… more fame? Are those the things that truly matter when it comes to loving someone completely and knowing that good, bad, or otherwise, they will love you just as much in return?”
“No,” she agreed.
“Then go be happy!”
I let Cory leave early that night.
Ryan was busy attempting to cook dinner when I joined him in the kitchen late Sunday night. His friends had left earlier in morning for their flight back to Pittsburgh and after five days with house guests we were finally alone. Even though Ryan was sad to see his friends go, he knew he would be seeing them in a few days when we traveled to his parents’ home for Thanksgiving.