by Reber, Tina
I found myself getting lost in his mesmerizing smile and the comforting feeling of protection that swirled around him. For how spooked I was, I sort of wished he was packing a concealed weapon. I rolled my eyes at him and smiled slightly in return. Why did he have to be so damn gorgeous?
I twisted the cap off of a bottle of beer and set it in front of him, slipping his money off the bar right after that. I wasn’t about to give him free drinks, not after the scene he made here last time.
A few customers were playing pool and getting loud and rowdy. Someone dropped a pool stick on the floor; the sharp crack made me jump again.
“You seem on edge,” Kyle muttered. “Is it because I’m here? If you don’t want me here, I’ll just have this one and then I’ll leave.”
“No, it’s all right,” I replied. “You can stay. Just as long as you don’t start anything.”
“Is he here? I guess I should apologize.”
His comment caught me by surprise. He wanted to say he was sorry to Ryan?
“No, he’s not,” I answered, disappointed that I had to say that out loud.
“Off filming again?” Kyle asked.
I glared at him, guessing that he already knew Ryan was in Florida. It was his job to know other people’s whereabouts, and I knew Kyle was more resourceful than that.
Mike was guarding Ryan full time now, but he still worked for the same company as Kyle. That didn’t change. I was pretty sure it was known who was guarding whom.
“Listen, I know I was an asshole the last time I was here and I just want to say I’m sorry,” Kyle said sheepishly. “I really hope you can forgive me. It was wrong of me to act like that.”
He was quite adorable when he groveled.
“It’s okay. Just be cool about things, all right?” I tossed his empty beer bottle in the trash and served him another, wondering why I had a hard time holding a grudge.
“Okay. I promise!” he swore, like a child being scolded.
We had another thick crowd for a weeknight and I was glad to be distracted from dwelling on the spooky threat letters. Even though I was trying not to keep tabs on him, I still glanced around the crowd to see where Kyle was.
“He’s playing pool,” Marie muttered on her way past me. “And he’s watching you like a hawk.”
I groaned, although in some bizarre way I actually felt relieved that he was on guard, ready to strike if I was in danger.
I was clearing off a table when Kyle approached to say goodnight.
“So is it okay if I stop in from time to time? I’m actually working not too far from here. If it’s not cool, just say so. I don’t want to cause any problems for you.”
Kyle looked so humble, like he was really, truly remorseful. He finished his beer and put his black leather jacket on.
“As long as you don’t specifically come here to cause problems for me,” I warned, hoping he’d get the hint.
“You got it. Best behavior from now on,” Kyle vowed. “I swear!”
He followed me back to the bar. “Before I go, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” He glanced around, determining how many people were within earshot before continuing. “You seemed really nervous before. Are you sure things are fine? Any of his fans giving you problems? I know you don’t have a bodyguard assigned.”
I thought about the new letter that was in my pocket and how terrified I was when I read it. I feigned a smile and lied.
“I’m okay, I swear!” I answered immediately. I knew if I told Kyle about the letters, he’d insist on protecting me. That would never fly with Ryan.
“So his fans have been leaving you alone?” Kyle questioned again.
“Yeah,” I confirmed, hoping to cast off his concern.
“Hmm, that’s good then.” He nodded oddly, appearing distracted by a group of people carrying on by the poolroom. “Well, since everything is fine, I’m going to take off. Have a good night.” He squeezed my shoulder lightly on his way to the door.
I made Marie go to the grocery store with me Friday afternoon; I was a little afraid to go out on my own. I was growing increasingly paranoid and leaving the building was becoming more and more frightening.
“So did you tell him?” Marie asked, buckling her seatbelt.
“Tell him what?”
“About the letters? About Kyle being in the pub last night,” she reminded me.
I stared blankly out the windshield.
“Taryn!”
“Don’t start. If I tell Ryan that Kyle was in the pub he’s going to flip out and I don’t need him flipping out on me.”
“You know he always finds out somehow. You’ll just piss him off that much quicker if you don’t tell him right away.”
I huffed. I hated that she was right. Ryan was ridiculously jealous of Kyle.
“I’m trying to keep Ryan from getting hurt, Marie!” I justified. “Kyle is a black belt. He’s a walking lethal weapon. I’m surprised Ryan even attempted to fight him New Year’s Eve.”
“Men are so stupid.” She laughed. “Testosterone and beer… makes them feel tough.”
Horrible visions of Ryan fighting with Kyle just like he fought with that stunt actor on the set of Seaside flashed through my mind. I already saw Ryan made up to look like he was in a fistfight and I shuddered to think of the bloodied mess Kyle would turn him into if the two of them ever went at it for real. I had no doubt that Ryan could hold his own in a fight but Kyle was trained in self-defense. Despite Ryan’s best efforts, he didn’t stand a chance to win that battle. I had to keep those two apart at all costs.
Unfortunately Kyle was the least of my worries. Staring me in the face in the checkout aisle was a new glossy picture of my boyfriend gazing lovingly at his supposed rekindled love, Lauren Delaney.
The headline, in big, bold letters announced to the world that the two were:
TOGETHER AGAIN!
Lauren admits, “I never stopped loving Ryan”
Those words embossed themselves to my every thought. When Thomas cheated on me I at least had the luxury of being blissfully ignorant to it, but I felt even more demeaned to hear about it and allow the lies to continue.
“He’s back,” Marie sang her words when Kyle walked through the front door of the pub Friday night. I was surprised that Pete let him in.
I watched as Kyle slipped through the crowd on his way to the bar.
“Hey, how are you?” He smiled and nodded at me, taking the last seat left at the crowded bar.
“I’m great,” I lied. Deep down I was wondering if I made a mistake by telling him it was okay for him to come around. Kyle was safety and danger all coiled into one.
“Two days in a row,” Marie muttered. She too was watching me out of the corner of her eye.
The cute brunette sitting next to Kyle tried to strike up a conversation but he effortlessly blew her off.
“Marie, you have to work his end of the bar. I can’t be near him.” I shook my head. “I don’t even want to talk to him. Cory, go that way.” We all shifted.
“Did you use your phone today?” Marie questioned, giving me a stern look.
I frowned and slid a Captain and Coke to the girl waiting at the bar. I still hadn’t told Ryan about Kyle showing up.
“So what’s it like?” the girl asked as she handed me a five dollar bill to pay for her drink.
“What’s what like?” I asked, having no idea what she was referring to.
“Being with him! Ryan Christensen?” She giggled. Her girlfriend looked just as eager to hear my answer.
I pressed my lips tightly together, holding back the desire to tell her off. Her intrusive question and the complete disregard for our privacy instantly irritated me.
“Hey...” Marie waved to the girl to come closer. “Did you ever dream about being with Ryan Christensen?”
“Hell yeah! All the time!” the girl gushed.
“Just keep dreaming then!” Marie snapped back.
“Taryn, can I talk to you a sec?�
� Cory motioned. I followed him into the kitchen, grateful for the distraction.
“Hey, so what’s up with that Kyle guy? Is he supposed to be here?” Cory asked.
“No, not really,” I groaned, still completely irritated by the encounter with the female customer. “I don’t know why he keeps coming around either.”
Even though I said it, I knew why Kyle was here. I pondered for a moment how different my life would be right now if I had met Kyle first. Would some random girl be asking me what it was like to be with my boyfriend if it was Kyle in Ryan’s place?
That first day I met Ryan and he asked me if I was dating someone – what would have happened if I had said ‘yes, I am’ like I always did when any other man asked me that same question? That would have probably been the last time I ever saw Ryan Christensen.
“Does Ryan know?” Cory questioned.
“Know what?” I asked, distracted by my thoughts.
“About Kyle being here?” he reiterated.
“Oh, no. Not yet. But I’m going to tell him,” I admitted.
“Well there are enough guys around here. We can toss him out if you want?” Cory seemed to enjoy that idea a little too much. “I’d offer, but I don’t think I could take him on my own.”
I turned quickly when Pete came through the kitchen door.
“Taryn, I didn’t know what to do about that asshole Kyle,” Pete groaned. “I gave him shit about coming here but he said he’d be cool. Do you want him in here or not because you know Ryan won’t like this!”
Ryan certainly had enough watchdogs looking after me. I rested my hands on my hips, unsure of what to do about it. I didn’t want any of my friends to get hurt or worse; I didn’t do a weapons check tonight.
“I know Ryan will be angry; I haven’t told him yet that Kyle has been here. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to Ryan. Please let me tell him,” I urged.
Pete shot me an angry look.
“Pete, I don’t know what I can do about it. I own a public bar. I’m not going to call the police or anything like that. Besides, Kyle isn’t causing any problems – probably because he knows Ryan isn’t in town.”
Pete became irritated. “I thought you made it perfectly clear to this joker the last time that he wasn’t welcome around here, and yet he keeps showing up. Doesn’t the guy know when to quit?”
“Apparently not,” I muttered. “It’s getting a little obsessive, actually. I mean he knows I’m with Ryan. I don’t know why he keeps coming around. Does he think I’m going to change my mind?”
I wondered for a minute why Kyle was still pursuing me. Why wasn’t I a lost cause in his book?
“Maybe he’s hoping,” Cory replied.
“Well you already have one PFA out on a whacko. You could always get one on him,” Pete suggested.
I thought about how much of a hassle it was to get a protection order and the irony of having to get one against a bodyguard whose job it was to protect people.
“Just leave him go,” I muttered. “I don’t want a scene in my pub tonight. If he shows up again, I’ll tell him to stop.” Even though I said it out loud, I knew I would have a difficult time saying that to Kyle’s face.
“Okay.” Pete nodded. “Your bar, your decision. But say the word and we’ll introduce him to the sidewalk.”
It was late Sunday afternoon when Ryan called. It was also time to tell him about Kyle, so I braced for an argument. Ryan was due to fly home in five days and I was hoping that the battle brewing between the two men could be avoided.
“Kyle has been showing up at the bar,” I informed Ryan. “I’ve been trying to ignore him but…”
Ryan, of course, went ballistic. “Why the hell didn’t you tell him to get lost, or do you like him coming around for you?” he accused, yelling at me in the process.
“No, I don’t like him coming around! But I also own a pub; it’s kind of hard to keep the public out,” I snapped back. “Honey, I got a threatening letter in the mail slot the other day. I’ve been a little scared.”
“I’m getting you a new bodyguard immediately,” Ryan informed.
“Honey,” I groaned.
“And I’m taking care of this Kyle bullshit once and for all,” he said angrily.
Despite Ryan’s attempts at warding off Kyle, two days later Kyle showed up at the bar.
“My company wants to send me to Dallas,” Kyle said somberly. “Some British diplomat needs coverage.”
I tried to look surprised even though I had expected something like this to happen soon. I studied the way his lips curled when he looked at me and I couldn’t help but feel guilty for being the secret cause of his latest assignment.
“Great! At least you’ll be a lot warmer there than here,” I attempted to joke. “It was only thirty six degrees out today.”
“I’m turning it down,” Kyle informed me, looking quite sure of his decision.
“You can’t do that! Can you do that?” Inside I started to panic, envisioning him staying in town and showing up to start something with Ryan again.
“I told you I wouldn’t take any out of town assignments, Taryn,” he reassured me. “I’m staying here to make sure you’re safe and protected.”
I gasped. His original charming personality suddenly turned scary. I asked one of the customers sitting at the bar if they needed a new drink, using it as an excuse to walk away for a moment.
“There’s no one after me. You need to take the assignment.” I faked a smile and looked at him like he was being ridiculous.
“So you mean to tell me out of all those crazy fans of his there isn’t one still scaring or threatening to hurt you? You don’t need to lie to me, Taryn! I can tell by the way you’ve been so jumpy lately that something is going on.”
My pulse quickened and I froze in place. I was starting to think that the only person I needed to be protected from was Kyle.
“Kyle, Ryan has hired another bodyguard for me. It’s not your job to worry about me.”
Kyle scowled at me. “I don’t know why you felt the need to do that,” he groaned defensively. He apparently didn’t like that piece of news at all.
I swallowed hard and chose my words, almost begging him to understand.
“Kyle, I’m not your concern. I’m not yours to protect. I know you know that.” I hoped he could see the sincerity in my eyes.
Kyle’s demeanor frightened me; it was obvious he was hurt and bordering on anger.
“I have a detective reviewing any letters I get that threaten me,” I lied. “The detective thinks that the latest letters I’ve received are coming from someone who lives here, not someone who has travelled here.”
Kyle shifted his weight on his barstool.
“He also thinks that the sender is male,” I continued, embellishing my lie and going with my hunch. “It’s amazing how they can figure things out like that.”
Kyle took a sip of his beer and set it on the bar. He stopped making eye contact. “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting letters?” He returned to glower at me.
“Kyle?” I called out to get his attention. “Whatever it is that you’re doing, please… please stop. It’s not healthy for either one of us.”
His lips twitched and he looked astonished. “Are you accusing me of something? You have something to say, just say it!”
I tried to come up with an appropriate defense but I was powerless under his glare.
“Is this what you really think of me?” he asked warily. “Do you honestly think that I would do something like that? That I would be capable of hurting you?”
“Kyle, I don’t know what you’re capable of. You know I’ve committed my heart to another man, yet here you sit.” If Kyle was going to be angry with anyone, I wanted it to be me.
“Taryn, I care about you. That’s why I’m here. And it kills me to see someone as wonderful and beautiful as you are wasting your love on someone like Ryan.” He gritted his teeth.
“You said to me once
that I put myself between people who need protection and those who mean to do them harm.” He looked me right in the eyes. “At least I don’t make out with all sorts of women for a living. And one day when that man that you love so much has a slip of judgement and takes his acting too far with some other woman, who’s the one who will live with regret? He’ll only be sorry for a minute. You, on the other hand, will be shattered.”
I turned my glance away. His words stung like a thousand needles.
“I keep hoping, Taryn. Hoping that your eyes will open up and you’ll see the heartache before it hits. Once he breaks you, it will take a strong man to put you back together. You deserve a better future than that!”
My thoughts traveled a new course, back to the safe, familiar road that didn’t lead to heartache. Maybe I’d be better off alone again?
“I’m here because actions speak louder than words,” he said, suddenly looking hopeful.
His statements stoked up the fires under my deepest fears. As much as I wanted to cling to the thought of Ryan’s undivided love, part of me still faltered.
“Can’t you see he’s trying to rip us apart?” Ryan’s voice echoed through my heart, shouting at me not to listen to Kyle.
“I love you. Never doubt that,” my love reminded me, the memory of his lips brushing on mine when he spoke those words made my mouth tingle.
“Kyle…” I shook my head. “This… this has to stop. Please. I think it’s time for you to leave.”
He huffed, completely shocked by my reply. With one long gulp, he finished his beer and set the empty bottle down on the bar.
“Fine. I’ll see you later,” he muttered. Kyle gathered his keys and slipped his jacket on.
“No, you won’t,” I said as I stepped closer to him.
“Tell Ryan he will have to try harder if he wants me out of the picture,” he muttered over his shoulder.
“Kyle, don’t force my hand,” I whispered. “Let go and walk away, with dignity.”
“Is that what you really want?” he asked, his tone was sharp but at the same time, pained.