by Suzan Battah
It was only one thirty. He had left the event early, glad to get away from Miami and the Augustine for a while. Chris flexed his aching muscles as he entered the darkened condo. He tensed for a moment, letting out a deep sigh thinking how he could spend more time with Julia without appearing too over-bearing. There was one thing he had noticed about her straightaway: She held back her emotions, unusual for such a passionate woman. He could tell she wanted to say or do more, but on more than one occasion, she had hesitated.
He had never liked any other woman as much as he liked her. She occupied his thoughts at the oddest moments. But over the last few weeks, their brief moments together weren’t enough. He needed to see her more, but finding time to be alone was becoming a bit of a joke. He planned to do something about that.
From the first moment he met her, there had been an instant attraction. Beautiful, sophisticated women had previously been his constant companions, yet with just a glance, this one woman had caught his attention in a big way.
“I better have that cold shower.” He turned to switch on the light to his right. There was no switch, just an empty hole in the wall with wires poking out.
“What the hell?” he muttered. The echo of his voice vibrated throughout the empty condo, annoying him even more.
With the hour so late, he tried to focus his eyes on his surroundings as he searched for a light switch that would work. But none of the lights in the condo were operating. He squinted to see in the faint light coming in from the street.
The condo was a mess. There were sheets and plastic thrown over furniture. The faint smell of paint filled his nostrils. He hadn’t come to the condo in months, but he didn’t remember leaving the condo like this the last time he was here.
Frustrated that he had no idea what was going on, he walked further in. His sanctuary for the night had been compromised.
The sliding doors facing the water showed the moonlit view as he remembered. As waves rolled in the distance, the smell of salt and sea, fresh and sharp, hit his nostrils. He pushed the doors open to let in the cool breeze. The dream-catcher his sister had given him two years ago, weatherworn, hung in the breeze, swinging back and forth.
It took only a moment for the light-bulb to go off in his brain. Then he headed for the kitchen and rummaged in the bottom drawer for the flashlight he kept there. He gave a triumphant hoot and flashed the beam around so he could have a better look. He skimmed across the plastic-covered coffee table, but came back to beam the light there again. Several large folders were scattered across the coffee table and he thought they might be a clue as to what might be going on.
Chris was just about to go through them when the front door rattled briefly. He froze as the door opened and the very woman who had distracted him all evening carefully walked in, holding a large box.
“What the hell is going on?” he demanded, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice with little success.
Julia gasped, nearly dropping the box in her hand and struggling with it for a second. “Chris, what are you doing here?” She sounded breathless.
“It’s my place. What are you doing here?” He turned the question back on her, already having guessed what was going on.
She fretted for a second. “I can explain,” she said slow and easy, biting her lip as she paused.
He didn’t say a word, as he approached her with the flashlight beaming everywhere so she could see him. They were alone, without the hassles of work nagging him but right now, he was too annoyed to take advantage of the opportunity.
“Obviously,” as he stared at her, she swallowed with difficulty, “Ben has contracted me to renovate your condo for a surprise. Surprise!”
Chris looked down at her, taking the box out of her hands to place it on the kitchen table. He knew he shouldn’t be irritated with her, but she was now on the receiving end of his disgruntlement. His earlier thoughts of her naked had not eased his current problem, and now that he knew the electricity and possibly the plumbing were off, he was in a very black mood. Her explanation annoyed him more than he cared to admit. “I was going to take a shower,” he muttered, “but you probably have the water turned off.” He was tense, his whole body aching with her standing so close, and there was nothing he could do about it.
She smiled apologetically. “Yes, but I didn’t realize you’d be here. Anyway, you’ll love it when I’m done with it,” she said proudly, wiggling her brows she tapped him on his arm. “You may even consider living here instead of the Augustine.”
“No Julia, I don’t like this place. Nothing will change that,” he muttered, frustrated that she wasn’t listening. “Just fix it back to whatever it was and I’ll compensate you for the expense.”
Chris could see that he hurt her, realizing his mistake in an instant. Her eyes had flickered and just as quickly, she looked away. He turned and leaned against the kitchen table. She stood there, pursing her lips deep in thought. She reached for her necklace and began to fidget.
Chris noticed that about her. Whenever she seemed hesitant, nervous or uncertain, she would play with her necklace.
“Well, I guess I’ll go now,” she muttered under her breath, pushing past him to grab the box off the kitchen bench, giving him a dirty look as she promptly left.
“Julia, it’s got nothing to do with you.”
“Whatever!” she called over her shoulder.
The moment he saw Julia’s hurt expression, Chris regretted his frustrated response. His heart constricted in his chest, pressing against his ribs. He didn’t want to hurt her. Nothing would change the fact that he hated this place. And he wasn’t in the mood to explain why he refused to stay in the condo. However, he needed to make things right before he drove her away. He was behaving like a complete jackass.
So he took off after Julia, calling out to her as he came out of the front door. He couldn’t see her in the parking lot. He swore heavily when he brushed too close to a palm overhanging in front of him and ended up colliding with her. She had stopped beneath the light to look for her keys in her purse.
She braced herself, planting her hands on his arms. In reflex, Chris steadied her with his arms around her waist. They stood in that embrace for a moment, catching their breath. Electrifying energy coursed through both of them and the silence stretched for several moments.
“I’m sorry you don’t like the condo.” She pushed away from him, ducking her head. “I would never have agreed without your consent, but Ben insisted you would love the change.”
Julia bent down to pick up the box. Chris reached out, pulling her back toward him. He took the box out of her hands and put it back on the path, out of their way. There was no way he was letting her go. Now he was glad he hadn’t taken that shower.
“I’m sorry,” he said, simply. Chris could feel the heat of her body beneath his palms. All he wanted was a kiss; not just any kiss, but a hot, passionate one that used the whole body to entice her in. Then he would take a cold shower, back at the Augustine if he had to.
He pressed his cheek to hers and softly kissed her earlobe, loving the way she shivered in response.
Chris brushed the strand of her hair that had fallen across her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. He caressed her back down to her bottom, pulling her up against his body. Her arms slid up to his shoulders. He leaned down to blow gently in her ear, teasing in every way, waiting for her eyes to close. Just as her lashes drooped and lips parted, he took her mouth in a searing kiss.
After several passionate moments, he drew back slowly, planting little kisses to tease her senses. “I want to see you more.”
He wanted to spend more time with her, alone. They were burning for each other. He wanted her more than anything. If she said no, he would wait forever if he had to. He noticed the moment she closed off to him. She tensed in his arms, her eyes flittering with such intense emotion.
“I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but we can’t.”
Chris stepped away, leaning against the brick
wall of the condo. “Tell me the water in my condo is still running?”
She grimaced. “I’ll have it switched on for you tomorrow.”
Chris remained thoughtful for a moment. “Why is…?”
Julia looked everywhere but directly at him. She continued to gaze away, stuck in her own thoughts. “Well I can’t get it switched on tonight, it’s late.”
“No, why don’t you want to go out with me? I thought we both felt something more. Every time I get close, you push me away, why?”
“I… ah…” Julia fretted with her necklace a habit he noticed when she is nervous. She couldn’t answer him but it was the sadness in her eyes that sunk deep in his heart.
Someone had broken her heart. He knew it.
After pattering back from foot to foot, she stood still for a moment, hands planted firmly on her hips. “You don’t know me, what I’ve been through. I just don’t want this relationship thing. I don’t want to do it again. I’m not going to lie and say, ‘yeah let’s get to know each other,’ because when it comes down to it, I can’t go through all that ever again. You’re a nice guy but I’m not good at this ‘feelings’.”
Chris approached her, reaching for her hand. “Again? What do you mean? Julia? Don’t go, let’s talk about it.”
She pulled away, heading for her car. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Look, I’ll see you around. I don’t know. I’ve got to go.”
Chapter Seven
When she arrived at the Augustine a couple of days later, she was stunned to find out from Ben that Chris would be away for a little while. This unnerved her.
He had left.
Gone.
She needed to see him again and explain the truth to him about Carlos. She called him as soon as she had a moment on her own.
Her heart raced as she dialed and waited for him to pick up the phone. “Chris, it’s Julia. Is everything alright, Ben said there was a family emergency? I’m sorry to bug you, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
He was silent before he spoke. “Everything’s fine.”
“So, when do you think you’ll be back? I was hoping to talk, when you get a chance.”
“I’ve got to go, Julia.”
The emptiness she felt was what hurt the most. Julia hated herself for being weak and unsure. She didn’t understand it.
There was no contact from Chris. Every time she picked up the phone to call him, she slammed it back down. He had been so blunt and to the point. She didn’t blame him.
A week passed and still no word from Chris. She couldn’t deny she missed him. Julia was sitting in her office late in the afternoon, contemplating what had happened to destroy her connection with Chris. She tried to call him that morning, but had been informed by his personal secretary that he was unavailable.
Her cell phone started to buzz loudly. She grabbed it, her heart racing as she checked to see if it was Chris calling.
Disappointed, she answered the call. “Mama.”
“Julia, is everything alright? You were supposed to come over for dinner. Are you busy, my darling?”
Julia cleared her throat. “I’m so sorry, I forgot. I’ve been a little busy, Mama. I’ll come over another time. Anyway, I told you I’ve been looking for a new place to move in to, so I’ll talk to you soon.”
She stared out the window of her office and then down at the open newspaper in front of her. The page was open at property listings with bright red circles around potential houses to rent. Yet all she could think about was Chris. It was all her fault. She knew something was wrong. She could feel he left for some reason that had nothing to do with her. She cared too much. Worry plagued her.
“Julia?” Randy poked his head around the partly open door. “You okay?”
She turned to look at Randy, his eyes so friendly and warm. The hard lump that had been forming in her throat for the last few days found its way out, burning even hotter. The tears threatened to spill over, and she looked at Randy blankly, swallowing back the sudden rush of emotion.
“No, I’m not all right,” she said, for the first time confessing her pain to someone. “I’ve screwed up. I can’t believe how much he means to me.”
Randy entered the room and shut the door behind him. He came to her desk, wrapping his arms around her, comforting her with this small gesture. They had become close friends since he started working here. “Tell me what happened?”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing. He asked me why I didn’t want to go out with him. And now, he’s gone away. I know there’s something wrong. I can’t stop thinking about him.”
Randy murmured reassuringly, “Honey, it’s okay. When he gets back, talk to him, tell him how you feel. Jump into bed, see how it goes.”
Julia had to laugh at Randy’s advice. “Thanks.”
“I know he likes you,” Randy said, squeezing her tighter. “He’s always disappointed when you’re not at the office.”
After a few moments, Randy glanced over at her desk and took a step back to look down at her. “Are you looking for a new place to live?”
Julia grabbed a tissue, wiping at her eyes. “I’ve had enough of my roommates. I’m just going to find another place and get out as soon as I can.”
Randy dragged a stool over next to hers and sat on the edge of it, giving her a wide smile. “My boyfriend and I are looking for a roommate! Our apartment is two blocks down from here. You should check it out. We’ve been interviewing for the last week and can’t find anyone suitable. Boric’s a bit full on and I think he’s scared off a few of the potentials. Come over tonight and have dinner with Boric and me. If you like the apartment, we’ll help you start moving in. How does that sound?”
Julia couldn’t believe her luck. “That sounds great.”
Randy and his Boric’s apartment turned out to be just the kind of place she wanted to stay in: spacious, tidy, and private. Boric was a real character, and he and Randy were so cute together. They definitely were people she would have no problem living with.
Boric was a classic feminine-gay male who had no trouble wrapping Randy around his little finger. Despite her sadness, Julia found herself laughing the first evening she was around them. They bickered in a hilarious way and were very devoted to each other, almost like an old married couple.
For the next week, she was busy moving into her new place. Carlos’ celebration was pushed to the back of her mind. So too were her feelings for Chris. Julia found it much easier to forget about her pain rather than face it head on.
***
“Randy! Boric!” Julia called out from her new bedroom.
There were boxes with all her belongings everywhere, some filling the hallway. She ended up climbing over them to speak to her new roommates. Still looking at her cell phone in disbelief, waving it in the air, she cried, “We got the Parker account! They love the designs and want us to schedule to start the renovations. I’m going to get Dianne working on this one. This is a massive account. We’re on a roll. By Design is running hot!”
“Wahoo!” Boric whistled and hooted, jumping up and down with Julia. “See, there is a light at the end of a dark tunnel of love’s sorrow.”
“Oh, shut up, Boric,” Randy joked, grabbing Julia for a hug.
“I’ll go get some wine and cheese. We’re going to be celebrating tonight, boys.” She danced about with Boric and eventually Randy joined in.
After a few moments of squealing and hooting, their jumping up and down tired them out. Julia grabbed her purse and keys, wishing to share her news with Chris. Julia almost sent him a text message to thank him for his referral of the client, but thought better of it and headed out the door for celebration snacks instead.
She made a quick dash to the shops, picking out some yummy nibbles and a couple bottles of wine and champagne. All the while, she never stopped thinking about Chris. He would be happy for her, she just knew it. She got into her car and before she could change her mind about texting him, she pulled out her phone and se
nt a brief message to Chris, sharing her news. Despite their uncomfortable last meeting, she still wanted to share her excitement.
Hope all is well. Parker success. Thanx 4 ur referral. Wish u r here with me to celebrate.
Julia was waiting patiently at the intersection to turn back toward the apartment when she heard her phone beep with a message. She really wanted to read the message, hoping it was from Chris. She reached for her purse to have a quick look. But she stopped herself, keeping her eyes on the road.
In the distance, she could hear a terrible screeching noise coming from the left. Then there was a massive bang, like an explosion as a speeding car collided with another motorist.
“Oh my God!” Julia cringed at the horrific site before her.
The second car was sent spiraling out of control right for her, skidding and spinning. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. She felt a gripping pain when the car made impact, as if her whole body had been ripped apart.
At that exact moment, she saw a vision of Chris smiling at her with his eyes bright, loving. Carlos’ voice hummed next to her ear. “You’ll be alright, Julia. Hold on. I’m here with you.”
But then she smashed her head with a cracking thud against the steering wheel and blackness consumed her.
In and out… In and out…
Even in the blackness, she could hear the buzzing of voices. There were no people but plenty of voices, vibrating noise of voices. All she could feel was pain, the most incredible ache, but no movement, like she was paralyzed. Soreness was in most parts of her body and numbness in her brain.