by Suzan Battah
Boric’s welcoming embrace encircled her and he rocked her in his arms. He smoothed her hair back, whispering comforting words by her ear. The shooting pain in her heart slowly subsided. A sudden peace embraced her. She had finally let him go.
Boric pulled out several bunched up tissues from the front pocket of his suit. She took a few to wipe at her eyes and nose. He watched her intently and pulled out a few more tissues.
“It’s okay, I’m fine.” She sniffed a few times.
“Oh no, honey, these are to get rid of this mess you’ve left on my suit,” he grouched seriously, crinkling his nose as he inspected the wet spot she had left on his shoulder.
Julia hugged Boric tighter, knowing very well he didn’t give a damn about his suit.
“Are you all right, honey?”
She burst out, “I can’t lose Chris too. I love him.”
Boric stood up and reached down to help her up also, dusting at the loose grass on her skirt. Then he snapped sternly, “You won’t lose him if you stop pushing him away.” He gestured back at the gravestone. “Carlos wouldn’t want you to give up another chance at happiness. It’s time to say goodbye and move on.” He squeezed her hand and took a few steps away.
She gazed down at the gravestone and murmured, “I’m sure the angels are taking care of you. I have to let go. But you are always remembered, right here.” She pressed a hand to her heart.
***
Her roommates liked any reason to throw a party. And Thanksgiving was just the right occasion. So the three of them were organizing a party and it took most of the week. Julia loved Thanksgiving, especially this year. She had so much to be thankful for, despite her accident and the break-up. Meeting Chris was the best thing that had ever happened to her and she wanted to share her appreciation.
As the best cook, she was delegated to prepare dinner, and she was hard at it when she heard the loud clippity-clop of heels bouncing against the walls of the apartment. She turned to see Boric entering the kitchen. He put on quite a show, wiggling his non-existent hips, emphasizing the heel-noise as he did a runway walk towards the living room.
“Julia, honey, sweetheart, you’re cooking up a storm. It smells so good, what is it?” Randy’s sweet, high-pitched voice enquired from behind them.
“Turkey, you clown, it’s just turkey,” she said with a laugh.
His eyes winked behind the rounded spectacles with light purple lenses perched on his small nose. He whisked them off in one fluid motion and shoved them down into his bag. “Well, it smells divine. You are the best thing that ever happened to us,” he said, blowing her a kiss.
“I’m going to have a shower and get ready for the party. Are you sure all the invitations went out?” she asked in a rush, attempting to take her apron off. But it got stuck in a knot at her back. “Damn it!” She nearly popped her shoulder out trying to pull it off.
Boric skipped over to help, rubbing her shoulder in a soothing gesture, holding her for a brief moment while he undid the knot.
“Relax, he’s going to go bonkers for you,” Randy called out from the couch, looking up from reading the local paper. He had figured out the only invitation she was worried about was the one she had sent to Chris.
In fact, she had invited him to come over before the party, saying she wanted to talk. She glanced at the clock, desperate to be ready before his arrival.
In her room, she stripped quickly, undoing the knee brace with care. There was an unexpected twinge in her knee, a rather sharp pain, and pausing, she waited for a second for the feeling to subside. The men of the house had made the shower ‘Julia-friendly,’ as they called it, so she wouldn’t slip. They had even put a plastic chair on the tiled floor just in case her knee was giving her problems. The cramping pain in her knee should have encouraged her to use it now, but she was too busy thinking about what she was going to say to Chris.
She could hear Boric and Randy’s muffled voices and then the doorbell ring. She pulled back the shower screen and listened hard, hoping it was Chris arriving. Sure enough, she could hear his voice. She got back into the shower, giving a silent whoop of joy, over the moon he had come to share Thanksgiving with her. She hadn’t heard much from him since his father’s funeral. But now she had to hurry.
She was humming with pleasure, and pumping soap into her hands, she started to wash with quick movements. Suddenly, she felt that same sharp click in her knee, wincing from the pain. Julia held onto the rail to support her weight better, but her knee locked painfully. Gasping, she bent forward, nearly choking as water spluttered across her face and in her mouth. She moved her leg back and forth, trying to regain some movement. It wasn’t working, so she let go of the rail to rub her knee. That was all it took for the base of her other foot to slide on the tiles.
She screamed, horrified as both feet came up from under her. She slid in a heap, bumping her head against the rail. Her knee was throbbing and tender, still locked.
“Julia!” Randy rattled the door knob. “Open the door.”
“What happened?” Chris demanded through the door.
“I’m okay,” she responded weakly. “I just slipped. It’s all good. Hi, Chris, I won’t be long. Just give me a second to get ready.”
As more water splashed into her mouth, she started coughing. The whole situation had shaken her, and she was fearful she had seriously done something to her knee. She remained sprawled in the shower until she could regain some composure.
There was a loud bang as one of the guys tried to force the door open. Another two bangs had the wood splitting, but the door knob rattled again with no luck. Muffled swearing followed.
“How many times have we told you not to lock the bathroom?” Boric scolded through the door. “And if you’ve fallen, I think it means you should have used the shower chair.”
“Shut up, Boric!” She winced and moved to sit up, but with no luck. “Just relax, I’m going to sit until my knee stops hurting and then I’ll get up. I’m fine, really.”
They obviously didn’t believe in her reassurances. After three more forceful thumps, the door banged open wide. Chris, Randy, and Boric filled the doorway, staring down at her with various degrees of concern.
“Turn around, I’m naked!” she started, gasping for breath when water spluttered into her mouth again. She let go of the rail to cover her body and ended up sliding further down the wall of the shower. At least she kept her legs decently clamped together.
“All right, she hasn’t drowned,” Boric muttered dryly. “But she probably will soon if we don’t get her out.”
Chris was the first to recover from his stunned state and rushed in to help her up. Julia would have been more appreciative if she wasn’t completely naked, but at least the steam and water was enough to cover her for the moment. He slid the shower door open, reaching in to switch off the faucet and looked down at her with a bemused expression. She didn’t protest his assistance when he picked her up out of the shower and sat her on the end of the bath tub. She doubled over, rubbing at her knee.
“Ouch, ouch, ouch,” she whimpered, feeling her knee give a little with the movement. Then she called, “Randy! A towel please.”
Boric burst into a round of giggles, clutching his side and going for another round when he looked down at her. In response to her glare, he muttered brightly, “He’s already seen you naked, honey. And now we all got a good look, so no need for modesty.” He passed Randy her fluffy towel from the hamper, then leaned back against the wall, amused.
Randy covered her shivering body and she glanced over at Chris. He was trying to keep the smile away, but it kept slipping out. Finally her knee started to move with more ease, the short pain ebbing away. After a few deep breaths, she reached out to Randy for assistance to get up, but she was swiftly scooped into Chris’ arms.
“Put me down.” She struggled to keep the towel around her, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around his neck. “Chris, let me go.”
Chris wasn’t smiling no
w as he ignored her struggles and headed for her bedroom. “I’ve just got to tell you something, real quick.”
She had not expected the evening to turn into such a fiasco. Settling her on her bed, he looked around the room, finally pulling over the square cushioned stool to sit next to her bed.
She began to move uncomfortably, making sure she was decent, fidgeting with the towel wrapped around her.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded.
“Nothing.”
“Is your knee bothering you? Maybe we should take you to the hospital,” he said, heading for the door.
“No! No, it doesn’t matter,” she reassured him, gesturing for him to come back. “You wanted to talk, so let’s talk. I was going to tell you something also, but you go first.”
His smile faded. “I’m kind of seeing someone, Julia. There might be pictures in the magazines or on the news and I didn’t want you to find out that way. We met in New York and have been out a few times.”
Her eyes watered. She tried to keep smiling, but it was as if she was frozen and all her breath had been sucked from her lungs. Swallowing back the bitter taste in her mouth, she couldn’t look at him and she felt her lips tremble.
“I’m so happy for you,” she gritted out, trying to infuse some warmth into her voice. She played with the rumpled quilt beside her, feeling as if she had lost a whole part of herself. But it was her own fault. She had waited too long. Now her ears felt like they were going to pop, her mouth went dry, and she clicked her mouth shut. She kept attempting to plaster on a smile, but the muscles in her face were frozen.
When Chris reached out to brush aside a part of her dripping hair, she stopped his hand. She held it against her cheek, but he was quick to pull away from her.
“We have to move on. It’s painful, but you don’t want me and I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me back, especially now, after I’ve just lost my father,” he spoke softly. “I want someone to love only me, want only me. So we, we can’t.”
I do love you! I want you! I need you! But the words stuck in her throat.
“What’s she like?” She desperately needed to know and didn’t know why.
“Julia,” he chided, gently. “That’s not important. Now what did you need to talk about?”
She couldn’t say the words she had meant to express. Julia couldn’t destroy his happiness. She didn’t want to take that away from him despite the fact that her fingers tingled to touch him, hold him, and bring him back into her embrace. He was seeing someone else. It was exactly what they both needed. He deserved to be happy. She deserved to be alone.
“Oh it’s nothing,” she said brightly. “Can you send Randy in to help me get dressed? Then we’ll have dinner,” she added, tamping down the emotions wanting to burst forth.
He frowned, searching her face. “You’re upset. Why are you upset?”
“I’m not upset!” she responded, a little too forcefully. “We are both adults here. It didn’t work out between us, so you’ve moved on. I hope she makes you very happy.”
After that, they were silent. For the first time, it was awkward between them. She felt like crying, but didn’t want to show how much his being with someone else affected her.
He muttered in a rush, “We met in New York and we’ve had dinner a few times. It’s just that the media might mention it in the papers. I didn’t want you to find out that way.” He couldn’t even look her in the eye. “I didn’t want you to think that it’s more, we’re just seeing each other.”
“No, no, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Whatever you do with your life is your business.” She took a deep breath.
He frowned now, his eyes darkening as he stared back at her. She couldn’t look directly at him, fearing she’d burst out crying like a foolish girl in love. She had such hopes for this dinner. Now that he was seeing somebody else, everything had changed. She felt like her heart had been pulled out of her chest and jumped on a couple of times.
“I don’t know why you’re so quiet. We’re not together. You seem to be having a great time.”
“Aren’t we all enjoying happy families.” Julia tried to hold back the sarcasm, but his eyes immediately locked with hers.
“And you have this habit of dropping one-liners that makes no sense at all. I bet you got that from your friend, Boric,” he snapped, irritated even more.
“I really should get dressed. Could you ask Randy to come in and help me, please?”
He debated for a second, but then fortunately he got up and shut her door with a loud click. She let out the tight, painful breath she had been holding in. She looked down. Her arms were shaking from the news he had just landed on her.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Randy walked into her room, an excited look on his face, and went right to her closet. “Are you back together?” he whispered, pulling out some of her clothes, holding them up for her approval.
“The floral print dress, and no. He’s seeing someone else.”
Randy’s mouth dropped in shock. “What! Who?”
Julia waved her hands at him to lower his voice, trying to pull on a bra he had thrown over to her. Wincing when her knee buckled again, she doubled over.
She sank down on the bed. “He knew, Randy. He knew I was upset. He’s moved on. I left him and now he’s gone.”
“You should show some pride,” Randy declared sharply. “Go out there and pretend everything’s okay. Trust me. You’ll feel better tomorrow. If you’re meant to be, you’re meant to be and nothing will get in the way.”
She knew he was right. Pride was the last thing she cared about now, but tomorrow, it would matter again. She rose slowly, balancing against the bed. “Just get me dressed.”
Randy encouraged, “Good girl,” and continued to assist her getting dressed. He left the room for a second to get her knee brace and crutches, and then helped her get into the knee brace, clipping the straps into place.
“What did he say about this woman? Maybe they’re just friends. Where did he meet her?”
“I don’t know. He said he met her in New York,” she moaned, lying back on the bed. “I’m such an idiot.”
Randy ignored her dramatics, saying in hushed tones, “He is meant for you. There is no doubt he’s still in love with you. You should have seen his face when you screamed in the bathroom. He turned white, really white. I thought I was going to have a situation on my hands. Now let everything take its natural course.”
She pulled her hair up into a pony tail, wringing out the water from her tumble in the shower. “I just don’t know how to let him know.”
“Be yourself, Julia, and when the time is right, you’ll know how to tell him.” He stood back and surveyed her, finally nodding his approval. “Okay, gorgeous, let’s go have some Thanksgiving turkey.”
Her friends and family had already arrived, and the apartment buzzed with music and chatter. Randy brought out the beer and wine, eager to fill everyone’s glasses. Cole and Andreena were a surprise show for the dinner, having only just come back from their honeymoon.
Julia was pouring a glass of wine for her friend, but Andreena shook her head. “Jules, could I get a juice instead.” She came around the counter of the kitchen.
“Sure.” Julia noted the way Andreena’s cheeks glowed pink with excitement. She had been so busy watching Chris she hadn’t seen the difference in her friend until now. “What’s going on?”
“Gosh, I have so much to tell you. First, I have some good news. I’ve been to the doctor. Cole and I are pregnant,” Andreena announced, rubbing her slightly rounded tummy.
“Congratulations, Dreena! We’re going to have a baby in our family soon. I’m so excited.” Julia pulled her friend in for a hug.
“Baby?” Chris demanded, coming into the kitchen, having heard only part of the conversation. His voice rose. “You’re pregnant? Is that what you called me over to talk about?”
“Chris…”
He cut her off. “Am I the f
ather or is it Randy?”
“What!” Julia and Andreena burst out in unison.
Everyone had stopped what they were doing. Julia shook her head. Into the silence, Boric squealed, turning on Randy and giving him a hearty shove. “You’ve been doing the dirty with Julia. But I’m your boyfriend!”
Chris looked from Boric to Randy and then back at Julia, shocked. “You’re sleeping with his boyfriend? Randy’s gay?”
Playing on Chris’ confusion, Boric, always irrepressible, turned on Julia, crying out in a dramatic display, “Slut! Well, if you want him, you can have him. I’ll be expecting step-mother rights.”
Cole and Andreena burst into laughter, while Boric pretended to be deeply hurt.
“Yes, I’m gay, Chris, and this imbecile is my boyfriend,” Randy muttered, slapping Boric on the back of the head for continuing to play out his theatrics.
“I’m not pregnant,” Julia announced to make her point clear.
Chris murmured, “But you said…” He fell silent, realizing he clearly had misunderstood.
In the awkward silence, Andreena looked between the two of them and burst out, “Surprise, I’m pregnant!”
Everyone gathered around Andreena and Cole to congratulate the newlyweds on their happy news. The tension eased as the attention shifted away from Julia and Chris’ embarrassment.
Chris was looking at her, his expression relieved, his cheeks slightly red. Julia saw hope there, and his reaction to the situation pleased her. Maybe he wasn’t so involved with this new woman for him to be so jealous. She wasn’t sure how he had managed to misinterpret her living situation, and how he hadn’t noticed that Randy and Boric were together. But maybe his jealousy had blinded him. She liked that idea, that Chris was jealous.
As they all sat down together at the table, Julia tried not to make it obvious that she was watching Chris. He sat down next to her mother. She wondered what her mother kept whispering into Chris’ ear. Randy knocked his glass with his fork to gather everyone’s attention, which had been focused on the heaping of food on every plate.