“Guess your right no other choice.” Jeanie had been the glue that kept them together living without her it was hard for everyone.
“Ivy your visitor is here and one word of advice watch him. No matter what he’s done so far I still don’t trust him.”
The knock at the door was light and Ivy knew her day of reconciliation had come. Resting her head back on the door she counted to ten under her breath.
“Hello John come in.”
“Ivy…Irene…” He seemed just as beaten as Ivy and as Irene gazed at the pair she couldn’t help but feel their pain.
“John….” Irene coughed again to try to soften her voice.
“John you seem very distracted. Just as distracted as Ivy is there anything we should know.” He smiled uneasy and adjusted his gloves several times in his cap, looking up he found it difficult to keep eye contact.
“No. No just a hard couple of days and I leave tomorrow so this scenario play’s on your mind.” Ivy escorted him through to the parlour where Jayne was still busy playing, closing the door Ivy sat in the chair next to the fire place wondering what the next move would be.
“You know something and you’ve have kept it from us for weeks. I can’t stand this anymore” John sat on the floor at the side of Jayne, her smiles and gurgles lifting his spirits.
“If I did know anything Ivy do you honestly think I could tell you? It’s hard enough that I…I love someone desperately that doesn’t love me and I also have a child to her sister in regards to love complications I think we have reached the pinnacle don’t you.” Ivy sat back in her chair with her arms folded, knowing he was right didn’t make it any easier and it hurt to hear that he still loved Jeanie. It hurt even more to see him with Jayne.
“Hello darling who’s this. Who’s this?”
“Just wondered if I could let her know you know,” Ivy holding onto her daughters hand lifted her gaze.
“Yes…yes she’s going to know anyway. Jaynee this is daddy dada dada,” Jayne looked lovingly to Ivy and gargled her responses. John surprised at how soon it had happened appreciated what Ivy had done.
As the second hour past John gathered his things, “Thank you.”
“What for it’s all out in the open now we have nothing to hide,” John took hold of his daughters hand playing with her delicate little fingers.
“I know but with everything even Irene has been gracious.”
Opening the parlour door Irene stood at the foot of the stairs and as John put on his coat, gloves and cap Irene cocked her head to one side admiring her view.
“I’ll say it for my daughter John you suit that uniform” Ivy blushed in agreement and embarrassment.
“Thank you I just wish I could have done more….for Jeanie.” Irene heard the break in his voice. He was usually so sure of himself and Irene knew something must be breaking down his defences and Jeanie wasn’t at home.
“Right I must go thank you again.” Leaning forward he kissed Ivy on the cheek and held out his hand, Irene ignoring his request nodded in confirmation still studying his demeanour. John disappeared out of the large front door and Irene still not convinced leant to look through the porch window.
“He’s hiding something I didn’t believe you before but that boy is definitely hiding something.”
“I told you before. So what can I do about that now?”
“Go after him he and do it quickly cause he’s getting into his car.” Grabbing her coat Ivy ran out to meet him
“John…John wait one minute.” As she got to the car she took a minute to catch her breath and to think up a reason of her sudden arrival.
“Sorry phew ok. Listen I know you leave in the morning oh god this is awkward. Do you want to go for a drink nothing funny…I mean shit? Right here we go again….As friends would you like to go for a drink I think it would be good for both of us and help when Jeanie comes home.” “Ivy we had something but I don’t know whether it’s such a good idea.” Ivy bent down and looked at John hiding underneath the lip of his cap
“I don’t want anything from you I just want to sort out for Jayne’s sake.” “Get in get in before I change my mind.” John drove out of the village and headed out into the country.
“Are we going far?”
“No. We don’t need any more rumours in this village.”
Thirty minutes later they pulled up at a small country tavern and as they rushed through the door both of them looked windswept.
The fire roared in the centre of the room and the inglenook fire place glowed with the heat. Sitting at a table in the corner John ordered two drinks and Ivy felt the nervous butterflies return.
She was out of her depth and she knew it.
“I’ve got you what you used to drink. I hope that’s ok.” Ivy nodded as John pulled up a chair.
“So what do you want to talk to me about?”
“You just seem distant and I wanted to help.”
“I knew it…your fucking mother put you up to this didn’t she!” Ivy bit her lip trying not to agree but knowingly she had already given her position away.
“If I said no I would be lying she just knew something was wrong”
“Lets face it Ivy I lived next door to you for practically my whole life and there are only two other women that know me that well and one of them is my mother. I have nothing to say Ivy and I can’t make up stuff just because your mum has a feeling.” As his sentenced finished his voiced raised in anger at Irene’s actions.
“John I said right away something was wrong. We are not getting any mail from Jeanie and we’re worried.”
“I know why you are worried and trust me that place will be the last thing on her mind right now!”
John picked up the glasses and put them on the bar and as he grabbed Ivy’s hand he began to drag her out of the door.
“Where are we going?”
“You will see!”
Driving for hours the hills and moor land had rolled around every corner and every brow. Pulling up on the small cobbled street John stopped the car and violently and as he opened Ivy’s door his mood had darkened.
“Get out. I know I’ve been cruel before Ivy but you need to see what’s going on here for real. This fantasy situation that you have built up inside your mind doesn’t exist and Jeanie is caught up in something that you could never be able to control” Grabbing her hand again he pulled her down the corridor and as they walked into a side room John closed the door.
“Mary meet Ivy this is Jeanie’s sister. Now she doesn’t know what’s gone on and she doesn’t need to know….but I think you may know where a few of Jeanie’s belongings may be and I think today is the day you fancy enlightening us on the matter!” Ivy sat on the chair confused and dumfounded and the young woman sat in the hospital bed was just as dumbstruck as she was at his outburst.
“Sir I don’t know what you are talking about.” John sat on the side of the bed and smirked his hours of research had come back to Mary and now with Ivy in tow he wanted the truth.
“Come now Mary after your last outburst you didn’t think I would just walk away without investigating you a little longer do you. You see a little birdie told me that whilst in the midst of this relationship they caught you a couple of times lets just say in places where you shouldn’t have been and playing with papers which weren’t yours to play with.” John folded his arms raising an eyebrow; Ivy just sat waiting for the event to take its course. Mary by this point had started to pull at the sheets and as her tears began to well she knew he held no sympathy for her this time.
“You don’t understand.”
“Make me understand cause this still says to me that you’re working with him and against me.”
“Fine I just want him doesn’t matter.”
Mary looked away disgusted at herself, “He used to meet me upstairs next to the filing room. I thought he loved me and he used to dare me to do things and I used to promise him intercourse. He said we had to keep it up so I started in the m
ail room first and I gave him the letters I took…..” I’m not proud of doing it and I feel guilty all the time but he was very persuasive. I got caught up in something and did things I regret because I thought he loved me then look what he did!”
John raised himself up off the bed and as Ivy sat in wait of John’s command, she was still confused and now distressed at the girls circumstances.
“Mary you should have told me sooner this is important. Thank you for being honest with me. Ivy its time to go.” Ivy stood to attention as if she was one of his soldiers but she couldn’t help but feel for this poor woman and as she took hold of Mary’s hand she hoped her feelings would be transferred through her touch.
“We’ve all made those mistakes and I promise it will get better.” John closed his eyes knowing Ivy was talking about their affair and after lighting another cigarette he paced fiercely down the corridor.
“What was that about John…John…JOHN you answer me now god dam it! I have had enough games.”
“Not here outside now.” Ivy threw her head back; she had been drove all over the country to meet a desperate girl in hospital and have riddles played out in front of her.
“Are you going to tell me now or do I have to guess?” Blowing the smoke out into the air he walked around the side and leant over the bonnet of his car. Ivy pulled her coat around her and waited in desperation. “I can’t tell you everything but that girl has been involved in something terrible which affects Jeanie and I think she has been hiding or filtering letters telegram and who knows what else for someone who doesn’t like me or James or Jeanie. The one thing I have found out is that someone wanted her out of the way and now Jeanie is at war and in small mercies at least she is away from all of this.
From the reports that I have received she is fine and this is where you come into it. I need help and I can point you in the right direction but I can’t take you all the way…I’m not going to be here.”
“Why couldn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you let me know?” John run his hands through his hair and shook his head.
“Ivy on track record you haven’t been the greatest when it comes to trust and let’s face it would anything I have just said make you or your family feel any better?
I have a job to do Ivy and I have a war to fight. I have to do what’s right not for her not for me….for my country my men and our way of life…..I took on this responsibility with or without her.”
“So what now?” Stepping into the car he looked across Kirkcudbright’s sleepy town and wished he could disappear in its quietness.
“Now I have to go and say my goodbyes.” Ivy jumped back into the passenger seat unable to understand why he felt so defeated.
“What do I need to do John? You said you needed my help and I don’t understand what use I’m going to be in all this.”
“I need you to find out what shit that little girl in there has been hiding from all of us and you need to do it fast.”
Reaching the cottage John looked a pale gaunt reminder of his former self and Ivy knew whatever information she was about to acquire wouldn’t spell good news for any of them.
“How will I get on the base?”
“You’re working with Anne and show this at the gate. I’ve authorise it. And before you say anything I knew this was going to happen. You’re not the only ones who lives are predictable. Just make sure your discreet…please.” Ivy pulled her coat around her again this time not because of the cold; his words didn’t bring her any comfort and now she had been cast in riddles.
Not knowing the full circumstances made her more curious about what was really going on and the next challenge she had to face was walking back into the house and trying to pacify her mum.
“Where have you been till this hour you know I’ve got to go back to the factory,” Ivy took off her coat and looked to the floor for inspiration
“Mum I know we had car trouble I’m sorry” Irene glanced a look at her daughter, the only look a mother could give when she’s working out the truth.
“She needs you and the others upstairs asleep. Tell Iris as well that if she doesn’t turn up tonight on time there will be hell to pay.”
Waking up the next morning she felt sick with anguish and the card which John had left sat on her dressing table mocking her at every glance and making her feel worse.
Running to the bathroom she vomited with the nerves, frustration and guilt. Hearing the commotion Daisy opened the bedroom door taunted by Ivy’s sickness.
“Whoever’s making the noise can they go and make it somewhere else? I’m not in the mood.” Seeing Ivy’s washed out complexion her annoyance soon turned to concern.
“You ok love you really don’t look well. You’re not pregnant again are you?” Ivy laughed and wiped her hand across her face trying to gain some composure.
“No Daisy you have to have sex to be pregnant and that’s not happened for a while. No I think I must have caught something off Jayne she’s been cranky for the last couple of days.” Daisy sat on the floor pulling her pretty pink dressing gown around her.
“Tell you what then if you need a break it’s my day off and I will take Jaynee out for a bit gives you a break.” Ivy needed an excuse to get out of the house and Daisy had just walked straight into it.
“You’re an angel if you could. Think I might nip down to the docs….you know just in case.”
“Ok Dokey that’s sorted come on chicken.” Grabbing the already awake toddler she started to mutter nonsense to her down the hall.
Ivy laying down on the bed closed her eye’s and thought of Jeanie, she couldn’t help but wonder whether it was courage or stupidity that made her give up her family and walk away from everything she had ever known.
Looking through her wardrobe she tried to find something that looked suitable for an office and as a glimmer distracted her search she excavated deeper into the depths of her wardrobe to find out what it was. Jeanie’s engagement ring not from James from John.
Ivy placed the ring on her own finger and as she admired the clear cut simple diamond ring she knew it was Jeanie all over. Despondent Ivy placed it on the mantel and continued to dress as no matter how much she had tried John was too much in love with her sister to ever look at her again twice.
Feeling self conscious she realised other than looking after Jayne for the last two years, she hadn’t really done anything important not even towards the war effort. Ivy still a little vein and selfish looked again at her appearance she was still beautiful and the spitting image of her mother. Her blonde hair curled and sparkled in just the right places and Jeanie always used to tell her how lucky she was to be that beautiful. Looking back at the mantel her beauty still wasn’t enough to win the man she wanted and today she might have looked a picture of elegance but, deep inside she just felt sick and alone. Ivy placed the ring in her jacket pocket and headed out of the door, shouting her goodbyes to Daisy and Jayne her mind was set on finding out what was going on at the base.
Arriving at the front gates her stomach flipped over and the effort to stay calm was overwhelmed by the effort to throw up again. Anne graced the stair way as Ivy waited in reception and she couldn’t help but notice Anne’s contempt at her presence.
“Ivy Stanton. Jeanie’s sister is that right?”
“Yes…Yes that’s me.”
“I can see follow me please.” She didn’t even hide the fact that she was doing it. Ivy felt uncomfortable; she was scared and this was the first situation she had ever encountered which she had been solely in control of. The thought of messing this up now felt unbearable.
Ivy knew of the rumours which had circulated the offices, Jeanie had told her already about the cruel nature of some people and by the sounds of it Mary had been one of them.
“Follow me please I’ve been told you’re needed in the sorting room.” Anne escorted her down a small corridor into a smoky dark dank room and instead of taking her all the way she pointed to the direction she had to follow.
> “Thank you…oh and for the record I know what you have been saying about my sister and just so you know. So does John.” Ivy made her way through the badly smelling room and as she reached the desk at the end she was greeted by a white haired gentleman.
“Ahh you’re my new recruit…never had one before but walk this way.” He scuffled his feet as he walked and Ivy couldn’t help but smile at the curled pipe in his hand.
“My granddad used to smoke a pipe; the smell always reminds me of him… I’m Ivy by the way.” Taking his time he sat on the chair at the end of the corridor,” Jacob that’s me. Jake sometimes but seen as you’re a pretty one I’ll let you make up your mind.” Ivy took off her coat and placed her handbag on the desk behind the chair.
“So Jacob what do you need me to do?” as he smiled his little white moustache curled into his cheeks and he reminded Ivy of a little elf.
“John said you where going to sort out that stuff that had been held back or something. I do forget my dear…age and so on. The room at the back is for all those things that go missing a girl used to come down here before. Forgot her name and she had a Scottish accent. Another pretty little thing to.”
“So it’s in there. Am I on my own?” Jacob had started to shuffle back to his desk at the far end of the corridor; he hadn’t heard Ivy’s reply and as she wiped the sweat off her hands she opened the door not knowing what to expect.
“Shit for fuck sake girl gets a grip.” Ivy stepped cautious into the room but as she did so she calmed in moments. It was tiny more like a broom cupboard than a room and as she slid around the door she immediately saw the bags of letter’s thrown around. It was if someone had brought a whirlwind inside and blew them about.
“This could take me month’s…come on Jeanie give me a clue.” Sifting around she came across three pales, one was labelled unclaimed, the other no address and on the other POW. Realising quickly that all of the letters had been opened, read and the information stripped out she realised she had found her starting place.
In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) Page 29