James and Jeanie sat on the kitchen floor watching Elizabeth play with James tie, Jeanie leant into his shoulder, lifting her head she kissed him softly. “I forgot to say Welcome home...” James kissed her back.
“Welcome home Jeanie…”
Chapter 34
Jeanie tossed and turned in her sleep, opening her eyes it was 2.00am again and after blinking several times she froze as a pair of eyes leered at her through the window. She could feel them burning into her skin, and as she grabbed James’s arm she shook it hard. “James…James there’s someone at the window.”
“Jeanie we’ve been through this before.” getting out of bed, he put on his shirt and strolled around to the window.
“Jea….there’s nothing there I promise you...”
“When you got up they moved…I know someone was there...” “Jea please this is scaring me now. I mean maybe we should see a doctor…” Jeanie got out of bed and put on her dressing gown horrified at his insinuation. “You think I’m loosing the plot don’t you they moved around the side of the house James please just listen to me.” James gritted his teeth as for over a month Jeanie had been walking him up at 2.00am and every morning she had said the same thing. She had convinced him on a number of occasions to walk around the house to check.
“Jeanie I really think you need help there is no one there.” Loosing her temper she wanted to scream instead she slammed the door and walked into the kitchen, pacing the floor James followed.
“Jeanie I don’t understand what you’re going through and I’m concerned. Please let me help you…”
“You think I’m loosing my mind. I know what I saw and there is someone trying to get into my head James. There is someone playing with me. Kowalski said it wasn’t over with.”
“Jeanie he’s dead you killed him. Baby please who else could it be.” She sat in the middle of the kitchen floor with her head in her hands.
“You don’t believe me.” Wrapping his arms around her James sighed heavily. “Help me understand…”
“It’s been every week for a month and the same thing happens. I don’t know I here a sound a voice and when I wake I feel someone starring at me….then I look at the window and they are its strange. I don’t want to scream I just want to know why? Why this is happening? I feel exhausted with it all.” James felt her tremble in his arms, whatever was happening had hold of her and was relentless to not let go. Making her a warm drink Elizabeth started to cry, “I’ll go you drink that. I love you.”
Jeanie smiled cautiously; she felt there was something out there, waiting in the dark to make its move and as she sat drinking in the dark kitchen she played out Kowalski’s death over and over again.
“Why partridge…I don’t understand.” Juggling Elizabeth James stood in amazement, every puzzle needed to have a fix that was just Jeanie. Except this one was playing havoc with her sanity, Jeanie stood at the nursery door as James put Elizabeth back down to sleep.
“I think she was cold I’ve wrapped her up...” placing her hand on his chest Jeanie played with the button as if she had something to say.
“Back to bed before we freeze…come on.” Taking her hand they slid between the sheets.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Jeanie took hold of the button again and started to rub it between her fingers, “Jea tell me. Talk to me I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.” Jeanie still playing with his button looked directly at him. “That’s the thing James no one can whatever is going on with me I need to sort…”
Watching the sun break over the horizon was nothing new for Jeanie, as dawn hit she was out of bed dressed and ready to start another day. She had already started back at the factory and Elizabeth was never too far behind. “I’m sorry it so early and you’ve got to see the hospital today remember. Elizabeth is with me she isn’t awake yet. I’ve got all her things and I can pick you up on my way back if you like...” James squinted at the alarm clock, “Ok come here…” kissing her goodbye Jeanie tried to find a reassuring smile.
Looking out of her office window, the clouds had started to gather for another winter and Jeanie could not help but think about Kowalski.
“Maybe it’s all in my head,” Iris threw her coat and heels on the chair interrupting Jeanie’s moment.
“What’s in your head...?”
“What are you doing here?” Iris raised her legs onto the couch.
“Looking like I’ve been to work. You look pale maybe you should have that checked out. Anyway you’re supposed to be coming over tonight for teas remember Mum’s orders you know she’s just checking up on you.”
“You mean the business don’t you!” Checking on Elizabeth Jeanie picked up her cup from the table and sat beside her sister, the smell of her strong perfume and glow of cigarettes made Jeanie smile.
“Remember when you stood on Me.” smiling coyly Iris took hold of Jeanie’s cup, “Yep that was a night out I really don’t want to forget anyway you where talking to yourself again. You know you remind me of dad when you do that. So go on why is it all in your head?” leaning back into the chair Jeanie tried to find a diplomatic response.
“I’m seeing things well I don’t know that I am cause I can feel it too.” Iris looked puzzled. “Well go on there’s no point telling a half a story. That’s what you used to tell me…” Moving her legs Jeanie wriggled uncomfortably as if being question by the police.
“For the past four weeks every morning at 2.00am not everyday….just one day a week. I wake up and see someone looking at me through the window. It feels real and I can see the stare but I’m not afraid I just want to know why they are doing it. James thinks I need a trip to the doctor and I can understand why. My brain just doesn’t seem wired that way...” Placing the cup on the floor Iris sat up looking Jeanie directly in the eye.
“You see I know when you lie everybody does and you believe every word your saying is true therefore my darling if you feel like your missing something do what you always do…” Jumping up Iris got her coat and made her way to the door, pausing for thought Jeanie looked blankly at her, “Oh come on stupid its obvious…find out how it works and fix it…” Smiling Iris waltzed out of the door and down to the locker room, Jeanie watched how she had no cares or worries in the world.
“Maybe she’s right Lizi maybe mummy should go out and see if it’s real……” The infant squirmed in her sleep as Jeanie spoke and looking back out the window she noticed her 12’Oclock had just arrived.
“Maybe Auntie Iris is right.”
The factory had seemed slow compared to how Jeanie remembered it last she knew now the war was over the plant had to return to its small contractual duties, but knowing it wouldn’t survive without changing its direction was going to be a difficult conversation with her Mum. They had already broached take over once and the only person who pushed for it was Ivy. Jeanie knew Ivy wasn’t in favour of the plant when her dad had first bought it but Jeanie had a plan and selling the business was never going to part of that plan and attempts had been made whilst she had been indisposed. The only thing was nothing could happen without her say so and her say so at that point was in Burma.
As Jeanie arrived at the hospital James was already outside waiting for her, “You know we are at my mums for tea tonight don’t you” James took off his hat and cooed at Elizabeth in the back seat of the car.
“Yes you told me last week. How’s your day been, “Jeanie wrinkled her nose and smiled back not having to explain.
As dinner finished Jeanie started with her speech, pouring out her idea’s over the family Jeanie expected the usually decent into chaos.
“If I get this contract Mum….it means at least we will be set up for the next five years and it’s up to us to show them we can do it. Dad’s not here anymore and we need to do this for all of our families. So what do you think…?” The silence held at the dinner table, Jeanie looked around the room until eventually Irene stood and grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Jeanie girls….I think she’s done us proud
and I know for a fact her father would be immensely proud of her and if you think we can do it we are right behind you...” Jeanie sat back in her chair and took a huge sigh of relief; James kissed her forehead seeing that at least one weight had been taken off her shoulders.
Helping with the dinner plates Jeanie took them into the kitchen, seeing Ivy at the back door she rested her hand on her shoulders.
“You look miles away…” throwing the butt of her cigarette Ivy took hold of her hand. “Sometimes I wish I was its nice to have you back you know…”
“I can’t thank you enough for looking after Lizi you did a good job….” Letting go Ivy seemed distant.
“I’m sorry….I should have told you everything before and I didn’t mean to hurt you….” Jeanie stood at the side and nudged her sister’s shoulder. “It’s all done now anyway big sis how long is it since…” Jeanie pushed Ivy’s shoulder. “Oh really that’s not fair...” The pair started to roll around the kitchen like teenagers and as the noise progressively increased Irene and James entered the kitchen.
“What the….You two stop it you’re going to hurt someone…” the laughter of the pair echoed around the kitchen, Jeanie stood up and brushed down her trousers. “Decorum Ivy come on…” Jeanie giggled as Ivy nudged her shoulder again, “Yes of course Jea of course...”
As the pair squashed each other in the door, Irene let the giddiness continue as it was nice to see her daughters smile, never mind play and be silly.
Jeanie smiled all the way home, James revelled in her happiness it was nice to see Jeanie smile.
“I’ll get Elizabeth sorted won’t be long…” Jeanie started to sing to sooth the infant to sleep and as the gurgles turned to yawns Jeanie put her daughter down for the evening. “Night Night angel sweet dreams…”
Making her way to the living room Jeanie could here the music, resting her head against the door she watched James run around trying to light the candles.
“Just a quick question what are you doing?” James unaware of her appearance blew out the last match.
“What does it look like?” Jeanie sloped in and stood at the back of the settee, “It looks like you might be trying to seduce me.”
James bit his lip holding out his hand. “You know I don’t think we’ve ever danced properly have we.” Taking his hand he held her against his chest and as they swayed in time with the music Jeanie played with the button on his shirt.
“Ella Fitzgerald this song always used to make me stop and listen…..” James rested his head on hers. “I didn’t think you would know her”
“You know me still full of surprises.” Twisting her around Jeanie twirled in his arms.
“I have my own surprise for you here. I was discharged in London, and as I walked to the train station I thought of you I hope you like it.”
The Harrods box sparkled in the candle light; Jeanie placed it in front of the now roaring fire and carefully undid the twine. Inside the cream satin slip twinkled and the crystal broach under the bust dazzled in the fire light. “It’s beautiful James you shouldn’t have. But it’s beautiful.” Sitting at the side of her he rubbed her shoulder.
“Why don’t you try it on?” Kissing him on the cheek Jeanie raced to the bathroom, she’d never seen anything so luxurious. Slipping it over her skin Jeanie saw every scar in the mirror and as she ran her fingers over the bullet holes she forgot to revel in how beautiful she looked.
Standing at the sink she closed her eyes as the overwhelming feeling she was being watched came over her again. Wanting to look at the glass and see the eyes burning in towards her Jeanie stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She almost felt teary at ignoring the stare.
Checking Elizabeth’s window and closing the curtains she rested her hand on her chest. She was warm snug and fast asleep.
Catching a glimpse of herself in the gown, all Jeanie felt where the scars ripping her body apart. Wrapping her arm around her self consciously Jeanie entered the living room.
“Jea you ok?” Jeanie went and sat in front of the fireplace, holding a large cushion in front of her James felt concerned.
“Have I done something wrong,” Jeanie shook her head furiously and placed her hand on his cheek. “No…No James it’s beautiful and it fits perfectly thank you. But my scars you see everything…and...” James took away the pillow and ran his fingers over her collarbone.
“I created them without them you wouldn’t be here and I don’t care. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on” Kissing the mark on her collar bone Jeanie dropped her head.
“You know what I missed the most about you whilst I was away I missed everything. Talking to you, arguing with you missing your laughter and tonight you smiled….but smiled from the inside for the first time in I can’t remember and that little spark that makes up you appeared again” Jeanie took hold of his hand wrapping her fingers in his grasp.
“You’re everything I live for and that spark you have that infectious, incomprehensible spark makes up every reason why I married you.”
“I don’t know why I get like this.” The dress showed every exit wound and every scar and as James stroked each silvery line he felt close to her for the first time since he had arrived home.
“When I first got to Burma it was like hell in fact it was worse than that, receiving your letters every month give me hope. And when I went to bed at night I used to read your words again and again and imagine you saying them. The the letters dried up and I didn’t know what was going on but I thought I’d lost you. I thought you’d forgot that I loved you and I felt alone and afraid for the first time in years. Not being able to talk to you…to tell you that I loved you was harder still I’d never felt like that before even with Catherine? With Catherine I could be away for weeks or months at a time and I didn’t care with you not hearing from you not having that solace not being able to escape made me feel like I didn’t want to come home. Resting her head Jeanie closed her eyes.
“When John told me there was a possibility you where dead I felt like part of me had died I couldn’t believe it now we are here and things seem so complicated. I really did feel like death followed me everywhere I went and it would be so much easier to be alone. I didn’t realise how important having you and Elizabeth are.”
Moving her close he wiped away her tears
“You’re a part of me Jeanie and the part I never knew and I can’t live without you.” Taking his hand Jeanie stood pulling him towards the parlour door. “I thought you said you where going to get me drunk so we could fool around.” Smiling back he picked her up flinging her over his shoulder. “What about if we miss getting drunk and go straight to fooling around!”
Grabbing the dress Jeanie slipped it over herself, 2.00am was back and she was awake but this time no one seemed to be about. Feeling the cold Jeanie put on her cardigan and crept into the hallway. The house was quiet and still and standing at the kitchen sink Jeanie started to clear some of the evening’s dishes away. Picking up the tea towel Jeanie heard the creak of the letter box and seeing the figure disappear she picked up the letters off the floor. They where addressed to James except they where all open. Jeanie sat at the kitchen table contemplating what to do next.
Feeling no other choice she dropped the letters out of their shells, and as she flicked through the content she started to read out loud.
“Dearest Catherine, I know I never treated our relationship with any reference but I’m hurting more than ever you wouldn’t have done this I know that…Maybe I need to leave!
Dearest James my arms are always open and will be waiting for you with every baited breath. Leave her pass this off as lack of judgment and come home to me yours forever P”
Letter after letter had conversed between them, most of them before Signthorpe and as she scanned through them again, she also realised they had met on several occasions.
Standing at the bedroom door Jeanie through the letters onto the bed, “What’s wrong
..” clasping her hands over her mouth, James sat up suddenly seeing Catherine’s handwriting, he knew she had read them. “Where did you get these Jeanie? This is not what you think please…” “Someone posted them through the door over an hour ago. James you lied to me. You met her and talked about me if I was some slut you met off the street and you lied to me. Why does she sign all her letter’s P just answer me that...” James looked through the pile on the bed.
“Jeanie it’s not what you think.” Still looking for answer’s Jeanie repeated herself.
“Why does she sign her letter’s P James all of them are signed with P…what does it mean…” James threw the covers back pacing the floor he put his hands on the back of his head.
“Fuck. Her name is Catherine Partridge I used to call her P because it’s short for Partridge Jeanie. ” Jeanie staggered at the door.
“Partridge as in Partridge in a pear tree.”
“Jeanie this was before…before everything Jea please I swear to you…I haven’t seen her since since Singthorpe”
“After everything we’ve talked about you don’t know even now the reasons why I need to go.”
Running out of the kitchen Jeanie grabbed the car keys. “Someone is looking through my window, and someone is trying to play with both of us”. James ran out trying to follow but she was gone.
Jeanie folded her cardigan around her and as she climbed the dark stairway she reached Flat 615and knocked hard.
“Whoever it is I’m fucking busy…” as the door opened John saw Jeanie shivering in the corridor, “Fuck Jea just hold on a minute,” John closed the door, Jeanie could hear muffled voices from the inside and as the door re-opened a woman exited. “I need to deal with this I’ll call you…”
Jeanie bowed her head to the floor and listened to her footsteps as she clambered away. “I’m sorry John I had no where else…..” taking her hand he gently coaxed her inside. “What are you doing here...?” Jeanie wrapped her cardigan around her even more.
In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) Page 34