I took a step back.
I blinked.
And then, I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. I was at a loss of words, my mind empty of anything but the memory of the sensations Mathis kissing me awakened in me. These sensations that would forever be burned inside me, sensations I had never felt before.
“Sex or sleep?’’ he asked darkly, his voice hoarse. “What will it be, Lila?’’
My breathing still too fast, I shook my head and took another step back. Gone was my composure. Gone was my poise. Gone was my bravado while facing my husband. There was only a young woman left behind, lost and short on sexual experience. If my strength deserted me and if I let go of the last thing I vowed to myself, I’d let my frustration lead me.
But I wouldn’t.
I had lost myself more than I ever thought I would over the years and Mathis Grimes gave me a chance to retain some of myself on our wedding day. A kiss wouldn’t change that. Not even if that kiss scrambled my brain, made me see stars and burned me from the inside out.
“Sleep.’’
Voice shaking and legs a little wobbly on my stilettos, I turned around before his body could lure me. I made my way to the bedroom. Through the buzzing in my ears I didn’t hear Mathis’ dress shoes telling me he was following me to our shared bedroom, but I felt his eyes on me, caressing my figure until I turned in the hall and disappeared from his sight.
Sometimes a kiss was just a kiss.
Sometimes a kiss announced changes.
That time, the kiss was my downfall.
***
MATHIS
As soon as she disappeared down the hall I dropped in the nearest chair and closed my eyes. My clothes stifled me and I craved throwing away my jacket and to unbutton my dress shirt and take off my tie, but I couldn’t move a damn muscle.
Never in my life had I felt so upside down after a simple kiss.
I had kissed many women, fucked countless meaningless women and never had I ever felt so bereft.
Lila might think that I had the power in that kiss, but what she didn’t realize was that she was the one with it. I had lost myself in that kiss, shredded everything I had carefully built to create the Mathis Grimes persona everybody knew and took at face value. In that kiss, there was only a man left, a man who would damn himself to fuck his wife.
I took several deep breaths to calm down my heartbeats and I kept my eyes closed. I needed to stay a little longer in the sensation she made me feel with just her pillowy lips and her delicate tongue and her taste a heavenly mix of Chardonnay and what was Lila.
I didn’t want to remember who I had become just yet.
But that didn’t last.
When her taste disappeared from my mouth a few minutes later, my cock started softening and my mind went back to the one thing that had me obsessed for years, the one thing that was the reason why Lila was there tormenting me in the first place.
My job.
Still unsteady, I got to my feet and walked to the console table where I had left my phone earlier. I ignored the images of Lila tugging me to her, assaulting my senses and the memory of her soft skin against my fingers and went to my email inbox.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Moran - URGENT
Jonatan,
Change of plan. Get the legal department in my office first thing in the morning.
Mathis Grimes
CEO GM Enterprises
I pocketed my phone and smirked to myself when I felt my control slipping back into place, chasing away the last remnants of the things that kissing my wife had made me feel.
That, being in control and acting was what I knew, what I was used to. Losing control wasn’t in my vocabulary anymore and next time I would kiss my wife, I’d make sure it didn’t happen again.
She was mine, not the other way around.
The day I would take Lila Grimes to bed would be the day I would get her out of my fucking system and move on.
I turned off the lights in the living room and stalked to my bedroom where I knew my wife was waiting in bed, probably faking sleep when her whole body ached from lack of satisfaction.
My cock twitched again in my slacks at that thought, but I frowned.
I opened the bedroom door and saw Lila on her side, eyes closed and breathing too fast for sleep. One quick glance at her body partially covered by the sheets told me that the tension in her was still ever-present.
I traced my lower lip with a finger, remembering the softness of her lips against mine and contemplated toying with her, testing to see if she would break down, but I denied myself.
I was still too raw from that kiss.
I walked closer to her side of the bed and I saw her chest stop rising as she held in her breath. I bent down until my mouth brushed against the shell of her little ear. I breathed her in and closed my hands into fists when the need to touch her manifested itself.
“I know you’re not asleep, Lila.’’ I let that sink in and watched as her eyes blinked open, fixed on my collarbone peeking where I had opened a couple of buttons on my dress shirt while my tie hung around my neck loosely. “I’m not going to toy with you tonight. A kiss was more than I bargained for, but, little wife, that fucking kiss is just the beginning. Tomorrow is a brand new day.’’
I straightened up, let my eyes drop to the front of her tank top where I could make out her tight nipples and I turned around to get in the bathroom where I took a cold shower.
MATHIS
Walking in my building and the level I had my office at usually was exactly the kind of boost I needed when I had to fill in the shoes I had picked for myself. It used to be difficult to get in the right frame of mind first thing in the morning, but it’s been second nature now, so much so that I had forgotten who I was under all these layers I put on. It only took a fiery woman to remind me some of the things I wanted to forget, or more accurately, some things I wanted to push away to revisit when I was away from prying eyes and on my own terms.
I glared around, catching a few employees more engrossed in gossiping like school girls than sitting their asses behind their desks, but one look made them scatter and scramble back to where they were supposed to be. I nodded at a few more employees when they greeted me, but I kept my jaw locked.
I had barely slept a wink last night after that kiss. My cock had been in a constant state of arousal, even after over fifteen minutes spent in an ice cold shower. I would have been able to find a modicum of relief if I had jerked off, but with my wife in bed beside me and my need to keep some kind of control over what was going on between us, I hadn’t wanted to prove to her how much she had an effect on me, the kind of effect I couldn’t think clearly and I couldn’t control my own damn cock as if I was back to my early teen years.
I sidestepped an intern who squeaked and apologized profusely, but I didn’t pay her any attention. Sitting at his desk, Jonatan stood up as soon as he spotted me stalking toward him and caught the office chair before it hit the wall behind him.
I didn’t slow down at his desk and only snapped one word. “Coffee.’’
“Uh, yes, sir.’’
I didn’t spare my assistant another look and stepped in my vast office, closing the frosted glass door after me and sat behind my desk in the imposing desk chair. Not even the fine leather and the way it enveloped my back made me relax. The tension in my body had more to do with sexual frustration than the debacle of last night’s dinner.
Faint and hesitant knocks at the door made me frown. “Come in.’’
Jonatan walked in with a steaming cup of coffee and several newspapers tucked under his arms, just like I’m used to every morning when coming in to work.
I nodded my thanks and delved for the coffee, not cringing when the hot liquid scalded my mouth. “Get the legal department in my office, Jonatan. And hold any phone calls unless it’s my wife.’’
“Yes,
sir.’’ I expected him to leave now, but he didn’t. I put down my coffee and leaned back in the chair, watching him fidgeting in front of my desk, something he never did.
“What is it?’’ I asked with more acid in my voice than I anticipated.
His blue eyes scanned my face warily as if weighing if he should open his trap or not, but we were past questioning it now. Right when I was running out of patience, something I was already deeply lacking on a good day, it appeared he finally found his balls.
“Maybe you should enjoy your coffee and read the newspapers before we get the legal department here. They’re on standby, sir.’’
My frown deepened and I traced my lower lip once, staring at my competent assistant. He was lucky that he was valuable and that I trusted him with his work, otherwise he’d be on his ass on the sidewalk now.
“Get me the legal department. Now, Jonatan,’’ I retorted darkly and this time he ran out of my office and took great care in closing the door after him, probably welcoming the separation it provided.
I took a deep breath, forcing air to go through my lungs as I pushed away images from my mind of Lila sleeping in our bed this morning. Instead, I replaced them with the memory of Moran and his disrespectful behavior both toward my wife and me. That only fueled my despicable mood furthermore.
Waiting for the legal department and burning with too much tension that needed an outlet, I pulled my cell phone out from the inside pocket of my suit jacket and dialed my father’s cell phone number.
After the second ring I wondered if he would have the guts to answer, but finally his detached voice, quite similar to mine, invaded my right ear.
“Mathis. I can’t remember the last time you called me.’’
I fixed my eyes on the abstract painting in yellows, reds and oranges hanging on the far wall, a piece by some local artist whose reputation was getting greater by the day, and smiled darkly. “But I do. It was when GM Enterprises made its first million. I remember the thrill of proving to you that you’d been wrong in saying I wouldn’t amount to anything and that my business venture wouldn’t go anywhere.’’
“A strike of luck,’’ he countered stiffly.
My grip tightened around the steaming cup and I welcomed the growing burning sensation in my fingers. “That was repeated quite a few times by now. I must be damn lucky, then.’’
A beat of silence followed my words, and I had no doubt that my father probably was thinking of next comebacks to hit me with, hoping it’d destabilize me. But I wouldn’t be.
“I’m heading to an important meeting so what’s the purpose of your call, Mathis.’’
“Moran.’’
“Charles Moran? What about him?’’
“I invited him and his wife to my home for dinner, last night.’’
“Let me guess,’’ he said and beneath his distant tone of voice I perceived a slight gloating that only fueled my anger more. “Your dear wife didn’t deliver quite as well as you’d have expected from such a high priced escort.’’
I grimly laughed down the phone. “On the contrary, Dad. Lila was perfect, as I knew she would. The issue was Moran. You see, he let it known that you’ve been running your mouth regarding your thoughts on my wife.’’
“I’m entitled to my own opinion, Mathis. It’s not because your company is—‘’
“I’ll stop you there. You don’t disrespect Lila. Me? Do whatever the hell you want, that’s what you’ve been doing for a very long time anyway, but Lila? She stays out of it. She’s not a prostitute or an escort, and even if she was, she deserves respect.’’
“What do you expect, Mathis? That I would open my arms to her? That when asked by my friends about my son’s wife I’d be gushing?’’
“Of course not. You don’t even respect or think highly of me, but at least I thought you’d have the decency to dodge the subject and offer the courtesy of knowing her before judging her.’’ I pushed away the stack of newspapers waiting in front of me in an angry move. “But that’s not why I called. I called you because I want you to be the one to explain to Mom why Lila and I won’t be coming back for the Sunday lunches, why I don’t even want to see you anymore. You tell her.’’
And I hung up, right on time when someone knocked at the door.
One down.
One to go.
***
MATHIS
“I want Moran’s company mine ASAP. Got it?’’ I stared down at the three members of the legal department, two gentlemen around fifty and a new addition, a woman in her early thirties. All three of them quickly nodded and stood up, iPads in hand and ready to get me a new company I had first envisioned working with. Moran made the wrong move and underestimated me. He stepped on my toes and fucked with my wife. I’m going to take his suffering company and make him watch while I restore it to its prime shine, and more.
My mouth twisted in a cold smile at the thought, I ignored my employees when they left my office mumbling their respects or whatever they said. I was too busy plotting my next move.
That was a mistake.
Next thing I knew a pair of quite generous tits barely contained by a tight white button-down shirt with enough buttons undone to be indecent for a work environment invaded my line of sight. I frowned and looked up to find the latest addition to the legal department staring at me with something I knew all too well.
I couldn’t remember her name and I honestly didn’t care. I bet she didn’t care either if I remembered it or not. I knew her type. She was good looking and knew it with her blonde highlighted hair falling in sexy waves around her shoulders, her tight skirt suit tittering between indecent and decent for work and her red painted lips twisted in an alluring smile. The glint in her light blue eyes only drilled home what she wanted and what she would be too happy to do.
“Mr. Grimes, I’m sorry for dawdling, but I’d like some more information regarding the company you wish to acquire.’’ Her breathy voice made my blood pump slightly faster and she knew it. “I mean, this is my second week. I’d like to do the best work I can. I’m sure you understand.’’
I kept my eyes firmly on hers, staying away from the tantalizing view down her open shirt. But why?
She was exactly the kind of woman I went for. Easy. Willing. Openly sexual. Begging.
I’d lie if I said that a part of me didn’t want her. Any man who hadn’t had sex for months and was going through a damn hard time with sexual frustration at home would consider such a nice opportunity.
The thing was, the real excitement lacked, the thrill wasn’t there. Only my wife could give me that.
Only Lila.
My stomach dropped as if it went from the fiftieth floor to the ground floor in one second. Shit, what was my wife doing to me?
“What’s your name?’’ I asked, voice rough and my mind a thousand miles away as I remembered what Lila made me feel with a simple kiss when the chance given to fuck another woman didn’t make my dick hard.
The woman’s smile widened as I perceived a hint of pride at the idea of luring me, Mathis Grimes, to her bed or more accurately a wall in my office or a bathroom in the building.
“Julia, sir. Julia Perkins.’’
I nodded and leaned back in my chair. I watched her fidgeting on her feet, probably starting to feel the desire hitting her overused pussy. With the way she licked her thin lower lip I had no doubt that she thought she had me.
Tough luck, sweetheart. I told my wife I wouldn’t fuck another woman as long as I hadn’t fucked her first. I intended keeping my word and it appeared like my cock agreed with me wholeheartedly.
“Ms. Perkins, I expect you to either quit your position at GM Enterprises and never postulate to any of my subsidiary companies or to avoid direct contact with me from now on.’’ She blinked at me, and straightened up, losing the slight color in her cheeks. “I’m a married man, Ms. Perkins, and I believe it’s widely known around these offices and outside too.’’
“I… I just… Uh…�
��’ she stuttered before she seemed to find her backbone again. “I only thought that—‘’
“You didn’t think,’’ I said, hammering the word harshly as I stood up, towering over her from my side of the desk. My eyes never strayed from hers. She took a step back. “Now, have I made myself clear?’’
“Y…yes. Of course. I’m… I’m sorry.’’ She quickly turned around, teetering on her high heels as she exited my office as fast as humanly possible.
My eyes didn’t even fall to her ass.
I sat back down and took my head in my hands, elbows firmly planted on my desk.
“Is everything all right, sir?’’ Jonatan asked from the threshold.
I didn’t look up. “Make sure that woman doesn’t come by my office again. At the first strike, she’s out.’’
“Duly noted.’’
“Thank you, Jonatan.’’ I lift my head away from my hands and sit back, ready to resume my day and ignore the nagging feeling that my life was about to get even more fucked up than it already was.
My attraction for my wife was becoming an issue.
She let me kiss her last night and she kissed me back.
It was time to get to the next step so I could resume my life.
I had to fuck my wife before I remembered who I was and forgot who I had become.
***
LILA
Huffing, I walked through the throng of people heading toward the elevator I had just vacated. Going through a lunch break crowd wasn’t the nicest experience, even more so when the years spent at Carter Manor had mostly stripped me of the instinct I used to have. That meant I now only haughtily glowered at the people bumping into me without apologizing and said with my most condescending tone, “excuse me’’ while I walked away without another look at the less than polite people way too eager to get to their lunch. Younger, I would have shamelessly jabbed these same people with my elbows.
Finally clear of the strongest of the flow, I glanced around at the cubicles sparsely inhabited at this hour and at the empty offices flanking the cubicles.
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