I concentrated on the longing that whatever it was between us could be so much more. That somehow, once-upon-a-time, it had been. That if I could somehow capture that elusive feeling that had invaded my better judgment, this would all make some sort of sense. That there was a meaning to our haphazard first meeting. A reason that what was happening was part of some well-orchestrated plan. That this was more. That there could be more. That there would be a point to this interminable promise.
A pain-filled yell tore right through me. My eyes snapped open. Elliot was on his knees right in front of me. The Soul-Eater stood over him, its claws tearing through his clothes and flesh. Elliot was struggling to get free but its hooked ends made it impossible. I blinked several times, frozen to the horrific image now in front of me from seeming nowhere.
My lungs contorted, I pushed past the terror that gripped me, pushing air out with a scream. “Elliot!”
He looked at me, mouth contorted with pain, teeth gritted, tears streaming from narrowed eyes. “Get away, Cassie!” His voice was hoarse. As though to talk was costing him everything. His emotions swept through me. Terror, panic—and horror that I was here. I felt everything as though they were my own.
“I’m here to help you.” My mind grappled to find some way I could get him free of the creature. My feet stuttered, motion flailing as uncertainty rode through me.
“Save...yourself. Can’t help…me.”
I wanted to run to him so desperately that my legs itched. Tear that monster from him, but it would turn on me and then we would both be at its mercy. What the hell was I going to do? I hadn’t come all this way to watch Elliot torn into pieces in front of my eyes. The Soul-Eater towered over him, its massive black form curving over him as though it would devour him. Elliot gritted his teeth, pushing at the claws that pinned him, fighting with everything he had but as the Soul-Eater rose, Elliot crumbled further to the ground.
I thrust my fingers through my hair. I was so helpless, just standing here watching Elliot fade from existence. Think, dammit. Think! If only I had something to throw at it, if only to get the Soul-Eater off Elliot. A brick, or a rock. Something so heavy it would knock its head off. My hand was heavy. I glanced down to see a large rock cupped in my palm. I curved my fingers around it, testing the weight, its existence. It stayed there, feeling hard and solid in my palm. And real.
Very real.
I didn’t stop to think why or where. Just knew it was exactly what I wanted. I threw it with everything I had, hitting the creature square in the head. A hideous scream rent the air. One of its hands ripped free from Elliot’s shoulder. I ran to him, grabbed his arm with both of my hands, dodging a swiping claw. “No, Cassie. It’s too dangerous for you.”
“Damn right it is, so come on!”
I tugged on Elliot’s arm, but the shiny black claws sunk tighter into Elliot’s other shoulder. The monster loomed over me, the stench clogging my throat. A chill swept through me, bringing with it dark emptiness. It dissolved through me like a heavy, desolate blanket. Wiping out my ability to think. To fight. It was pure evil. It invaded me, sucking me of everything, leaving only bleak darkness. I seemed to fold in on myself, as the will to move was sucked out of me.
The creature raised its arm. Claws stuck at my side and I screamed as they tore into my ethereal flesh. One sliced through a rib and I felt the bone severing with the force. Claws hooked, tearing through muscle, ripping sinew. Warmth flowed from the wounds, soaking through clothes and splattering to the ground. My blood. So red against the grey.
Lethargy gathered in my side, flowing into the end of the claw that was still attached in my body. As though it drank my energy. Then I realised that was what it was doing. It was feasting on my soul, draining from my core, the very essence of who I was.
The more it consumed, the more the Soul-Eater grew. It rose twice its height over us, the inky black all-consuming. It would be so tantalisingly easy to just give in and let it take me, to let the sleep that called me take me with it into nothingness.
Elliot reached to me with slow, exaggerated movements, tugging at the claw embedded in my side. My eyes caught his, his desperation to save me calling to some part of me that still existed. Still wanted to live.
I needed a knife. A big, sharp, long-bladed knife. As soon as I imagined it, the hilt of a vicious blade appeared in my palm. I raised it with everything I had and swept the blade through the creature’s wrist. A horrific scream filled my head and reverberated through me. The severed hand fell from my side to the ground at my knee.
Black mist poured from the open wrist, staining the surrounding air with a stench so powerful it stung my nose, eyes, throat. I rose on shaking legs, gripped the hilt with both hands and severed the claw that still impaled Elliot.
The Soul-Eater screamed again. Frenzied anger absorbed through me, so potent I could almost believe that it was me generating the emotion. Mixed rage and pain bore into me as though it were a physical force. I lunged at Elliot, wrapping my arms around him and throwing us both to the ground, imagining a haven. Anything. Anywhere, but where we were. I braced for the hard ground, but sank into dry, warm sand.
I opened my eyes and found myself staring into Elliot’s face. I lay on top of him, our arms wound around one another. I glanced around. We were on an island beach. The sun was high and warm in the sky. The soft lap of clear waves striking sand was a lullaby compared to the scream of the Soul-Eater. Palm trees lined the secluded bay at the edge of the strip of white sand. My mind grappled for long moments at the scene we were now in, my sluggish brain slowly catching up to my eyes.
“The Soul-Eater. It’s gone!” I sagged, relief poured through me. The hideous creature had no place in this beautiful reality.
Elliot’s warm breath stirred against my cheek. I blinked down at him, the stunning reality that he was real and warm and solid trying to find reason in my brain. I ran my fingertip down the side of his face, feeling his skin beneath my touch. Stubble tickled my fingertip. It came to rest on his lower lip, as did my gaze. I was caught in another mind-blowing moment that I could actually feel him. That I was here. With him. And I could touch him. That he was everything that I’d longed for.
“Where are we?”
I shook my head, not understating why we were here or even how we were here, but knowing that we were safe. Then all of that faded with the realisation of what it meant. “I can feel you. I. Can. Touch. You. Elliot! I can touch you!”
His arms squeezed around me, tentative at first, as though he was as unsure as I was, but then his fingers firmed on my back and pressed me down to him. He was trembling as much as I was. I lost myself in his gaze as uncertainty turned into wonder, “I can feel you too. I’ve been aching to touch you, Cassie. You don’t know how I’ve longed...” His eyes roamed my face, heated and raw.
I breathed in. Then out. The words he’d said lodging into meaning. I licked suddenly dry lips, pushing the words out of my mouth. “Longed?”
His fingertips pressed into my skin. “Yes. Longed. Ached. Desired. I’ve wanted to feel you in my arms like this so much, so fiercely it hurt, Cassie. There was an ache in my soul that couldn’t be soothed. Not until I touched you. And I knew I never could. But this …this is a miracle. Something I thought would never happen.”
“Neither did I. I’ve dreamed about this, Elliot. And now…now you’re here…and I’m here…wondering if this can be real. And if it’s not real, then where are we and what are we doing and how are we doing that…?”
“I don’t know, but I know this is real. And right…I didn’t think we would…could have a way…to do this.” His mouth twisted and regret tensed the lies around his eyes, “That’s why I went away, Cassie. I couldn’t give in to what I really wanted. Needed. It wouldn’t have been fair to you. I wasn’t any good for you...not like that. Not a half man. Not of one world or the next. You deserve so much more. You have a life and…and I’ve had mine.”
“Don’t ever think that way. Ever! Even if I c
ould never touch you, I can still talk to you. That would have been enough. And I’m through with other people deciding what I need or don’t need. I need you, Elliot. I want you.”
He smiled and all the tension left his face. If I thought he had handsome before, he was totally devastating now. My heart lurched and I needed so much more than just to be held, “I want you to kiss me, Elliot. I want to feel your mouth on mine. I want to taste you. I want to touch you. Would you…do you...?” Heat constricted my throat and closed off the words.
Elliot blinked, heat darkened his eyes, “I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say those words. But now that you have, I find I can’t resist. I want to kiss you too, Cassie. Since the moment I first saw you. I can’t describe it. The need…as though it was…fate, but I didn’t think it would ever happen. Could ever happen. The pain of not being able to was too much for me, but here…now…there’s a way and I’m not going to waste it.”
That full mouth that I only saw and imagined, were now real, and solid, and firm. My eyes rose to his. Deep pools of emerald washed through me, along with flaring desire. He’d been so good at disguising it, it was surprising to see him as unhinged as I felt. It touched and mingled and fed between us, until there only Elliot and myself and this overwhelming, intriguing, unexplainable connection.
“Is this what you want, Cassie?”
His hand rose, cupping my nape. Goosebumps flew over my skin at his touch. This was what I had ached for. Everything I had dreamed about. Everything I wanted. Needed. I rested my lips on his, almost not believing that this could possibly be real. But fate couldn’t be that horrible, could it? This had to be real. This had to be happening. I leaned forward, just to prove that this was real. This was now. And my heart’s desire was going to transpire because if it didn’t…if this wasn’t real…
With a throaty groan, his fingers splayed on my back, holding me against him. His mouth opened and I willingly followed. The heat of his lips fuelled my need. My tongue entered his mouth, sweeping, dancing in an intoxicating stroke.
My mind stopped floundering as pure physical sensation took over. Heat pooled in my stomach, making my insides melt and puddle. A languid heaviness filled me, pressing within my abdomen, reaching my breasts, making my skin extra sensitive. This was what I wanted. This was what I needed. This was the precious gift that had been denied me. I’d waited. So long.
My heart wept with relief. With release. As though a dam had broken and the river was once again flowing, filling a pathway that had been dry for too long. I locked my thighs either side of his waist, baring the most private part of my body to him. One arm encircled my waist, pressing me against the broad planes of his chest. His erection pressed against me. A flurry of tingles sparked when he moved, making me more needy, more alive.
“God, how I’ve wanted to do this to you, Cassie. I can’t believe you’re here. In my arms. I never thought this could be possible…” He placed his palms either side of my face. “You’re beautiful. Brave. Mine.”
He moved me, rolling me to my back. He came upon his elbow, half resting on me. He kept our mouths joined, sweeping his tongue into my mouth, probing, building me to higher levels of anticipation. I’d never been so quick to build like this before, never so fast to spark and want so badly, it hurt.
His hand skimmed the material at my chest. I arched back, pressing my aching breast into his warm palm. My nipple hardened, hurting with a sweet, needy ache. His fingers massaged me gently, skimming his fingers over me, playing with the hardened nub. The material was too thick, too coarse. I needed to feel his hand on my skin. Heat to heat.
His hand went to my waist and brushed my wound. Pain ripped through me. I gasped, the world around me blurring into pin-pricks of jagged light. I was unable to move, or breath or think.
“My God, Cassie! You’re hurt! Why didn’t you tell me!” He cursed as he saw the wound I’d completely forgotten about.
I dragged a ragged breath. “I...forgot.”
“Forgot?” He looked at me as though he could murder me, carefully lifting my shirt free of the wound. His sharp intake of breath had me looking at the wound. Four large puncture holes scarred my skin, each wound welled with blood, puddling over my waist and into the sand.
“Well, I haven’t forgotten about it now! It hurts like hell!” I lay back to the sand, suddenly feeling nauseous. Elliot ripped his shirt free, holding it to the wounds, trying to stem the flow of blood.
He gently turned me over, “On the other side, too.”
“What about you?” I grit my teeth, struggling against the pain that was now so overwhelming.
“I have nothing. The wounds are gone.”
My silver cord lost its brilliance, becoming a murky grey. I felt so weak, so drained.
“Cassie, you’re...dying.” Anguish ripped over his face, so forceful it broke my heart to know I was the cause of it.
I cupped his cheek with my hand. “If this is dying, it’s not so bad.” I had Elliot in my arms, he was everything I wanted. I was happy being here. There really wasn’t anything keeping me back on earth. No husband. No children. I could call on Mum. She’d be able to see me. She could communicate with me for Laura.
My heart filled with pain as I thought of leaving Laura behind. She still had her life ahead of her, the potential for a brilliant career, a husband, and children of her own, without any of this silliness of seeing ghosts. I smiled up at Elliot. This was what I wanted.
“You can’t die.” His voice sounded like coarse, ground sand.
My smile faltered, feeling as though the earth was tilting beneath me and I was about to topple off into a black abyss, “But I’m here. With you. I can stay.’
“I’m not going to let you. It would be too selfish of me. You’re not ready to die.”
“Neither were you,” I protested.
His mouth twisted in an ironic little twist. “But, it seems, I deserved it. You need to live, Cassie. You have lives to save on Earth. You’re a good woman. A talented doctor. Too good for it to end now. It would to too selfish of me to keep you here just because I want you to stay.”
Moments passed, “But I want to stay. I want…you.” My voice was small. His eyes welled and he quickly closed them, reaching for my hand and bringing my fingers to his mouth. His warm lips settled on my skin.
He opened his eyes. Pools of bright emerald. “I want you too. Beyond life and death. But this isn’t the right time.”
“Why!” I demanded. “This is the right time if I say it is. I want you. Here. Now. That’s all the reason I need. We’ll have all the time in the world if I stay. We can finish what we’ve only just started.”
He shook his head, every feature on his face turned down with sadness, “Your life is worth far, far more than just me. And this is just an illusion. There’s more, Cassie, beyond this. I know it and if there is, I’m going to make sure you have that too. You’ll have the life you deserve and the afterlife you’ve lived for.”
He gathered me in his arms. I tried to fight him, to prove my point, but I was too weak. The warm sun faded away to the grey mist. Soon there was nothing left of the beach and the paradise I’d created. No sun on my skin and no Elliot kissing me with joyful abandon. A light, as bright as a beacon, cut through the mist. We flew towards it, as though there was a seductive magnetic pull tugging us toward it. “What’s that?” I whispered.
“That’s your light, Cassie. That’s the light I follow to find you.”
The office merged from the mist. Elliot held me in his arms as he stood over my body. Someone was crying. Laura. She had her jumper rolled up and pressed to my side. Her hands were stained with blood. My blood. The wound the creature had inflicted on me in the mist had somehow happened to my physical body. The silver cord tugged, urging me to return. So irresistible.
I wound my arms around Elliot’s neck, tucked my head into his chest and held onto him with everything I was, “I don’t want to go.”
He tipped my chin urging my gaze
to his, then pressed his mouth to mine as light as a sigh. He broke away and I felt so desolate. “I don’t either. But…you have to…” As he spoke he knelt. There was a pressure, a jerk and I opened heavy eyes. Elliot looked different through my physical eyes. Still him, but dimmer. A watered down version.
Laura sniffed, and when she saw me awake, lent down and kissed my forehead. “I thought you were going to die,” she said between sobs.
I licked dry lips, finding it hard to find my voice, “No such luck. You’re stuck with me.”
She managed a smile, “I’ve rung an ambulance. When you’re better, you’re going to tell me what the hell happened to you.”
Elliot knelt next to me.
“Stay with me,” I whispered.
He nodded solemnly. He had been transformed back to his former self. His fedora hat, same trench coat, same grey jacket. No evidence of the horrors he’d fought.
“Glad to see you back, my girl.” It was Henry.
I’d forgotten all about him. I’d left him when I’d searched for Elliot. “You disappeared. I had no way to follow you so I came back here. Knew you’d have to come back sooner or later.”
A white light glowed from the ceiling. Actually, it wasn’t from the ceiling. It was through the ceiling. A beautiful, warm pure white light shone down onto Henry’s head, embracing him with its purity.
The light grew in intensity, effortlessly eliminating the shadows, chasing the stench of evil away with the grace of its touch. Stars floated, like glorious dust mites, dashing here and there in the light. Some had small wings that beat as fast as a hummingbird's, wings darting here and there, others danced to their own sublime rhythm so small they looked like floating speckles of twinkling sunlight.
The light grew so bright that I could hardly see Henry at all. Just the outline of his form. I heard him laugh, and reach upwards. “Grace,” he called. “Erin.” He sobbed. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
My heart skipped a beat, excitement welled inside me. I was witnessing the greatest miracle of all. I described it to Laura in a whisper, afraid that if I spoke too loudly, I would frighten it away. The edge of the light touched me. I felt the greatest love I have ever felt. The greatest sense of being loved, complete acceptance, utter strength. Truth. Acceptance.
Ghost Page 15