As Dare sat down, she pretended to admire a nearby sculpture crafted by a local artist. While she’d viewed the sculpture countless times, he didn’t know that. When she finally turned back to him, she discovered him watching her.
“Why do you watch the tape?” he asked softly. “It was apparent when we watched it that it upsets you. You seem upset now.”
She chewed her lip thoughtfully. She hadn’t expected the question. “I watch it because I have to.”
“Really, since it does upset you to watch it, why put yourself through it?” he asked, his blue eyes narrowed and reflecting his curiosity. He studied her for a long moment.
It was apparent to Belle the tape had upset him at one point during the viewing. She refrained from mentioning that to him. “I have to watch it,” she repeated tiredly.
“You don’t ‘have to’ do anything,” he said. “What do you hope to gain from putting yourself through it?”
“It’s not so much what I gain but … what I lost that’s important,” she murmured, unable to meet his eyes.
He shook his head. “What do you mean?”
She glanced at him tentatively. “I lost that person—the person I was—and I want to assure she … stays lost.”
“You were a child. Why be so hard on yourself?”
“I was sixteen,” she said succinctly. “Old enough to know better.”
He shook his head. “You’ve grown up…”
Belle stopped him with a raised hand. “I don’t wish to discuss this. The tape is old news…”
“Precisely,” he said with conviction. “So don’t you think it’s time you stop punishing yourself? I mean, I really don’t get it. It occurs to me that that tape, and your disgust with the person you once were, colors everything you do in life. It seems to me that your work ethic…”
“What do you know about my work ethic?” she cut in angrily.
“I know you work harder than any other attorney at Legal Aid. As I was saying, I think your tireless work ethic is a means to make amends for … well, the you you used to be.”
“Thank you, Dr. Phil, for the psychoanalysis.” As if she hadn’t already realized she spent the bulk of her time atoning for her past sins!
“I’m only trying to help,” he said softly.
Belle opened her mouth to speak, but promptly clamped it shut. He couldn’t possibly understand why she forced herself to view the tape, or that it nearly killed her to do so. But frankly, it wasn’t any of his business, and she had no desire to discuss it with him. He was a veritable stranger, after all.
“We should probably go.”
“We haven’t eaten yet,” he protested. He passed her a corndog, and set the potato wedges between them. They ate in silence for a moment or two, until he spoke. “It seems to me it’s time for you to forgive yourself. Frankly, you’ve made a mountain out of a mole hill. I mean, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t regret something of a misspent youth. I’d say your offenses are pretty minor, all things considered.”
“Please give it a rest.”
“You’re too intense. Really, you need to forgive yourself. I mean, if you can’t forgive yourself,” he persisted, “how can you forgive others their foibles or inadequacies… their flaws?” He reached for a potato wedge and studied it briefly before popping it into his mouth.
She took a deep breath. “Look, I’m not concerned about other people’s foibles or inadequacies,” she said in measured tones. “I’m a tolerant person. Additionally, I make no excuses for mine—my flaws, that is.”
“You’re a lawyer,” he pointed out reasonably. “Of course you’re concerned about other people’s foibles or inadequacies. And if people didn’t have flaws, and by the boatload, for that matter, you and I would be out of a job.” He popped another potato wedge into his mouth.
“Don’t-want-to-talk-about-this,” she said in a sing-song voice, resisting the urge to shove her fingers into her ears and begin humming to drown him out.
He pressed on. “You were just a kid!”
She glanced at him aghast. “I have known many, many mature teenagers during my lifetime. I was a … a mean girl before the movies came out.” She sighed loudly. “I really don’t want to talk about this,” she practically moaned.
“Talking about it is exactly what you need to do. Listen, I’ll give you an explanation for your behavior. Your parents indulged you. You were an only child, correct?”
“As if that’s an excuse,” she countered. “I’ve heard it all before,” she groaned. “The truth is, I was a self-centered, pompous little princess, who didn’t care one iota about anyone but myself. It’s sickening to me even now.”
“You didn’t know any better,” he said in her defense.
“But I should have…” she murmured, and to her horror, her eyes clouded.
Dare smiled as he reached across the table to give her hand a gentle squeeze. “So exactly how long do you plan on punishing yourself?”
She shrugged. She didn’t have an answer. She planned to destroy the tape after she viewed it on her thirtieth birthday, but she couldn’t begin to speculate whether or not her guilt would be assuaged then.
He continued to watch her, eyes brimming with compassion.
“I refuse to discuss this any further. I hardly know you. For all you know, I’m the very same person today you saw in that tape.”
“You’re not!” he said, aghast. “You’re nothing like her. Frankly,” he said with a rueful grin, “it’s a shame you didn’t hold onto a little something of that person.”
“What do you mean?” she gasped in horror.
“That Belle knew how to have fun. ‘Let’s get this party started!’” he said with a chuckle, copying sixteen-year-old Belle.
“That’s not funny,” she moaned.
He reached for her hand again, but she was too quick for him and pulled back. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t mean to upset you.”
Suddenly, his pager buzzed. He snatched it off of his belt. He cast Belle an apologetic glance as he checked the number. “Ah, shoot,” he muttered. “I have to go. I was waiting for a certified letter from Biggs and apparently it’s just been delivered.”
“What sort of letter?” she asked with unconcealed interest.
“I’ll have to fill you in later,” he told her. “May I call you at home?”
She nodded. “Shall I drive you back to work?”
He shook his head. “It’ll be just as quick if I walk.” He smiled, hurried to retrieve his brief case from her car, waved, and headed briskly toward Legal Aid.
She watched his retreating figure, and couldn’t help but notice the cut of his suit, or how his broad shoulders emphasized his narrow waist, or… She gave her head a swift shake. Admittedly, he was gorgeous, but his personality needed work. Good grief. Why was she analyzing him anyway?
She had to fight the inclination to follow him back to Legal Aid, knowing Millicent wouldn’t appreciate it if she showed back up at work only a handful of minutes after she’d effectively been tossed out on her ear.
With a sigh, she gathered up their lunch and tossed everything into a receptacle. She suddenly wasn’t very hungry. She’d consented to lunch with Dare because she had wanted to discuss the case. So much for that idea.
Chapter Seven
“You spent another day in your garden?” Lacey said with disgust. “How much weeding can one person do?”
“A lot,” Belle said reasonably. “Actually, I probably could have finished up most of the weeding today if I hadn’t had to keep answering your phone calls,” she grumbled. “You’ve called me what?—three times, since you got off work?”
“I’m trying to plan an evening out, and you’re being obstinate—as usual. You need a night out, Belle. You need to enjoy your vacation!”
“I am—well, as much as I’m capable of enjoying it, I guess,” she conceded.
“Belle…” Lacey sighed, “as my Grandma Edna used to say, you’re an odd duck.”
“That’s strange,” she mused. “I’ve never met your Grandma Edna. How could she know whether I’m an odd duck? Or even a duck, for that matter?”
“You know what I meant,” Lacey said huffily.
“Didn’t you tell me your Grandma Edna is kind of an odd duck? Isn’t she the one who reuses plastic peanut butter jars?”
“You find that odd?” Lacey asked curiously. “I would have thought that was right up your alley. Aren’t you all about recycling and living green?”
“Well, yeah, to a point…”
“How did we go from planning a night out to talking about my Grandma Edna and reusing peanut butter jars anyway?” Lacey cut in.
“Hey, you brought it up,” Belle said.
“I did … not. Did I?”
Belle hitched her cordless phone under her chin, so she could make a grab for the dried dishes in her dishwasher. She began putting them away.
“You know what?” Lacey said.
“What?”
“I’m looking up ‘vacation’ in the dictionary right now and here’s what it says…”
“I know the meaning of the word,” she interrupted with a sigh. “Spare me, Lacey.”
“No, no you don’t know what ‘vacation’ means. You haven’t a clue what ‘vacation’ means! Here’s the definition. ‘A period of time for pleasure, rest, or relaxation’. Funny, it doesn’t mention anything about toiling in the garden day in and day out.”
“Uh huh.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“That you’re going to enjoy your vacation—that it’ll be a time for pleasure, rest, and relaxation. I’m thinking Dare might be willing to help you out with the pleasure part.”
“I don’t even want to know what you mean by that!” Belle snapped.
“Okay, look,” Lacey said reasonably. “Steven and I are going out to Riverside Restaurant tonight, seven o’ clock. If you’re not there, we’re coming to get you.”
“Oh, Lacey, I really am tired. I’m thinking I’ll turn in early tonight. I’d like to get an early start tomorrow morning. The garden isn’t going to weed itself.”
“AARRGGHH!” Lacey cried. “You said you’re nearly done with the weeding.” She was suddenly silent and Belle imagined she was counting to ten. “Look,” she said finally, “you’re coming out with us and you’re going to have a great time. I’ll keep calling until you say yes,” she threatened.
Belle remained silent on the other end of the phone line. She knew Lacey’s wasn’t an idle threat and that her friend would continue to pester her if she didn’t give in. “Okay, I’ll be there,” she said with a beleaguered sigh. She had to concede that she probably did need a night out.
“Good!” Lacey said, sounding somewhat surprised she had acquiesced. “Dress in something nice.”
“Don’t I usually dress in something nice when I go out to dinner?”
“Not always. Besides, I heard about the stylish ensemble you put together for your meeting with Dare yesterday.” She chuckled. “I understand you flashed half the office.”
“I did not! Did I?” she moaned. “I didn’t think anybody saw…”
“A big, gaping hole in your t-shirt? Yeah, they saw.”
A wave of mortification washed over her. Suddenly, she felt weary and wished she hadn’t surrendered to Lacy and agreed to a night out. But too late, she would never let her off the hook now.
“I’d better go then,” she murmured. “I need to see if I have anything clean in my closet.”
“Wear that pretty sundress—you know, the one with splashes of blues and purples. It really brings out your eyes.”
“Why do I need to bring out my eyes?”
“Just wear it.”
***
Belle arrived at the Riverside Restaurant fifteen minutes late. It wasn’t like her to be late, but she’d spent the better part of the last forty-five minutes attempting to iron wrinkles out of the blue and purple sundress that she’d found stuffed into a dresser drawer.
She climbed out of her car, smoothing the dress with her hands as she hurried toward the restaurant entrance. No doubt Lacey would be annoyed by her tardiness. Suddenly, she was feeling annoyed with Lacey and decided she could be tardy if she darn well pleased.
She picked up her pace anyway and was reaching for the door when someone called out her name. She spun around, surprised to see Dare striding toward her, a broad smile on his face.
“I’m glad you could make it,” he said cheerfully. “I’m a little late myself.” She watched him curiously, and he noticed. “I was held up at work,” he informed.
She nodded distractedly. Wait. He said he’d been held up. Held up with what? Oh, how she wanted to ask him if the holdup had anything to do with the Rodriguez case.
Wait. Why was he telling her he was late? And why didn’t he seem particularly surprised to see her? And then a light bulb went on in her overtired brain. “You’re meeting Lacey and Steven too?”
He nodded. “Yes. Didn’t you know?”
“Oh, well, no, but…”
“Do you mind?” His crisp blue eyes bore into hers, and the corners of his mouth quirked into a hopeful smile.
“Oh, no, not … at all,” she said, realizing she hadn’t sounded particularly coherent since coming to face to face with him. She didn’t sound particularly convincing, either.
“Shall we?” he said, reaching past her and opening the door.
She stepped past him and into the crowded restaurant. She immediately spotted Lacey and Steven sitting side by side on a bench along a wall in the lobby. Lacey offered a small wave, while Steven motioned them over.
She started to make her way through the crowd, when she felt a warm hand on her low back. She found herself guided through throngs of people toward her friends.
Lacey grimaced when they reached her. “Steven didn’t make a reservation,” she said in a flat tone, shooting him a look of daggers.
He shrugged. “Sorry. I forgot.”
“Not a problem,” Dare said and glanced around. “Maybe there’s space in the bar. Do you know if we can order dinner there?”
Lacey nodded.
“I’ll check it out,” he said. He was gone all of thirty seconds, but returned shaking his head. “No room,” he said simply.
“We could go somewhere else,” Lacey suggested. “What do you think, Belle?”
Belle met her friend’s gaze and shrugged. Vaguely she registered Steven and Dare talking about something, but she didn’t listen. What did she think? Lacey had asked. She thought her friend might have mentioned Dare would be joining them this evening. Now she understood why Lacey had insisted she wear the multi-colored sundress that apparently brought out her eyes.
She felt awkward beside Dare, with the clusters of people crowding against them and forcing them closer than she would have liked—well, she had to admit, she liked his close proximity just fine, which she found oddly disconcerting. Why would she want to be anywhere near the man when he’d stolen her case, her job—for the short term anyway—and even her prized coffee cup?
She eyed him furtively, wondering at the waves of heat that seemed to radiate from the well-muscled bicep that was currently plied against her bare shoulder. He was dressed casually in khaki pants and a blue polo shirt, and she couldn’t help but notice how the fabric of the shirt strained against his chest. She was so acutely aware of him, she wondered what this heightened awareness meant.
Suddenly, she was pulled from her thoughts when Dare’s blue eyes caught hers. “Does that sound all right to you?” he asked, smiling.
“What?”
“Did you hear anything we’ve been talking about?” Lacey asked in a fatigued voice.
“Uh…well…no,” she admitted. “What were you saying?”
She heard Dare’s deep, throaty chuckle beside her. Had he realized she was practically staring at his chest? Her face suddenly flamed red.
&nbs
p; “What?” she repeated, her brows furrowed in a frown.
Lacey let out a frustrated sigh. “I was suggesting we barbecue at your place. It’s plenty warm out tonight, and you have the best backyard for a get together…” She abruptly raised a dismissive hand and slid a glance over to Steven and Dare. “Nope. Bad idea. This evening is about getting Belle out of her yard. If we go to her place, she’ll probably fire up the lawn mower instead of the grill…”
Belle shot Lacey a bewildered glance that morphed into a dirty look. The whole evening was about getting her out of her yard. Really?
“We can head over to my place,” Dare suggested. “My yard isn’t as big as Belle’s, but I have a nice patio out back. I’ll gladly fire up the barbecue…”
“No, no. Tonight is all about rest and relaxation,” Lacey murmured. “No one should be cooking. How about…? I know! Steven and I can pick up something through a drive-thru and meet you there. What sounds good?” Lacey directed the question to Belle.
She shrugged. “Anything.”
“Burgers, chicken, fish…” she listed.
She shook her head and glanced at Dare. “Uh … chicken,” she said with a shrug.
Lacey grabbed a hold of Steven’s hand and hauled him off the bench. “Come on. It’s your fault we don’t have a reservation…” Her words trailed off as she hurried out of the restaurant, with Steven at her heels.
Dare turned to Belle and smiled. “Ready to go?”
She nodded, and suddenly, someone bumped against her, causing her to launch against his rock hard chest. Instinctively, he reached out to steady her, his warm hands bracing her arms. “Wow, this place is crowded,” he observed with a wince, but Belle realized he made no move to release her.
She nodded and tugged away from him, turning on her heel, and making her way to the front of the restaurant and out the door. She stepped into the cool night air, relieved to be out of the mingling crowds inside the over-warm restaurant.
Simply Being Belle Page 6