A soft grin spread across Liz’s face, but she kept her gaze on her son. “It’s been hard, I won’t lie. My husband was a groom here for several years. When he was killed four years ago, Jake asked if I’d like to work for him. I didn’t know much about horses, so he asked if I could cook and clean. I know he was just looking out for us, and I could never find a way to repay him because he didn’t have to take on a widow and a young child.”
Swallowing the lump of remorse, Lily turned her attention back to the front yard. So many facets made up this man. Some were bad: the lies, the betrayal. But the others were so good, so...noble, that Lily hated that he’d damaged his image just to get ahead in the horse industry. Had the breeding, the prospect of winning and generating more money been that important?
“I know it’s not my business,” Liz went on, shifting to face Lily. “I have no idea what’s going on with the two of you, but if it matters, Jake has never brought a woman here before. I can see how much he cares for you.”
“He does.” She couldn’t deny that, but that also didn’t mean they were meant to be. “He went about showing me the wrong way, though.”
Liz nodded and offered a genuine smile. “Just don’t shut him down, yet. Okay? Give him a chance. He’s all work and traveling to see his mom. But with you, I see a different side to him and he’d hate me if he heard me say this, but he’s vulnerable where you’re concerned.”
Lily closed her eyes, trying to block out the honest words coming from a virtual stranger. “You care for him.”
“Not in the same way you do,” Liz corrected. “He and my husband were good friends and had a strong working relationship. But my husband was killed during a robbery. He’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jake didn’t hesitate to see to all of my and Tyler’s needs. I think of Jake as a friend and a hero when I needed one.”
A hero. Lily opened her eyes, her focus shifting instantly to the man serving as a little boy’s hero. A man who had faults and had hurt her so deeply she didn’t know how to forgive him.
“I need to get back to cooking dinner.” Liz started to walk away, but laid her hand on Lily’s arm. “I just wanted to make sure you knew where I stood with Jake because he loves you. He’s a powerful man, but you’ve brought him to his knees. You’re in control here.”
Liz’s footsteps echoed through the room until there was nothing but silence once again, other than the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.
Dropping the curtain back in place, Lily went out onto the front porch. The beautiful wide porch with sturdy wooden swings at both ends just begged for a lazy, relaxing day. She took a seat, curled her feet up on the deep red cushions and propped her elbow up on the back, resting her head on her fist. The gentle sway relaxed her.
Lily continued to watch the interaction in the yard, thankful she hadn’t been spotted yet. Jake had invited her to stay for a week, had wanted her to see the real man he was with no pretenses, no secrets.
She was already seeing a deeper side to the person she’d fallen in love with. But could she ever get past the fact he thought it was okay to deceive her? Who’s to say the next time he wanted something he wouldn’t lie to get it?
Between Damon’s visit the other day and seeing Jake with Tyler, Lily found herself wanting more. She just worried they were too far gone to get back on stable ground to build anything that could match the fire they had before.
A light flutter in her stomach had her pausing, her hand cupping her belly. The odd sensation happened again and Lily knew she’d felt her baby. Their baby.
The doctor had told her the first feeling she’d get in her stomach would feel like butterflies floating around. The description was pretty accurate, considering that for just a second the shocking sensation had tickled. The movement had only lasted the briefest of moments, but enough to have her smiling.
When she glanced back up, Jake’s eyes were on her, and Tyler was hopping out of the hanging tire and racing around to the back of the house. Lily’s smile faltered. So much tension stretched between them, so many words that needed to be spoken, so much emotion needing to be released.
Jake made his way toward the porch, and with each step Lily’s heart beat faster. He stopped in front of the swing, took her feet from the cushion and sat down, placing her legs across his lap.
“Don’t,” he told her just as she started to shift away. “Let’s just pretend this is a normal day and we’re enjoying this late afternoon breeze.”
His warm hands gripped her ankles, holding them securely on his lap. She hadn’t felt his touch for so long, she knew she’d missed it, but she had no idea just how much his warmth affected her.
“We’re not normal people and this isn’t just a normal family afternoon,” she whispered, hating how true her statement was.
His fingertips trailed from her shin to the top of her foot, back and forth until she couldn’t control the tremors that slid through her. That powerful, seductive touch of his would be her undoing.
Jake tipped his head just slightly, focusing those bright eyes right on her as he always had, as if he could see straight into her soul. “You always say you want to be a regular person, not the celebrity when you’re off location. Relax, Lily. We’re both simply going to be ourselves, nothing fake, no acting. Just Jake and Lily.”
Jake and Lily. As if they were an official couple. But she didn’t have the energy to argue and she would remain calm to keep her blood pressure down for their baby’s sake. And she was done fighting...fighting him and fighting herself.
“I think I felt the baby move a bit ago.” She hadn’t thought about telling him, but the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.
Jake’s eyes darted to her stomach, a wide grin spread across his face. “What did it feel like?” he asked, his hand pausing in mid-stroke over her leg.
“Like someone was inside tickling me,” she explained. “It was faint. The sensations happened twice while I was sitting here watching you and Tyler.”
He brought his gaze back up to hers. “How long were you watching us?”
“Long enough to know you two have a special bond.”
“I love him,” Jake said without hesitation. “I’d do anything for him.”
Lily nodded. “Liz explained the situation. I can’t imagine being a single mom.”
The smack of reality hit her before she realized what she’d said. Jerking her legs off Jake’s lap, she came to her feet. Crossing the wide porch, she rested her hands on the white railing at the edge of the structure.
“You won’t be alone.” Jake’s hands slid around her waist seconds later. She hadn’t even heard him get up and move toward her. “I’ll never let this baby feel neglected and I’ll never let you feel like you’re doing it all by yourself. No matter what happens with us.”
Lily dropped her head between her shoulders and sighed. “There is no ‘us,’ Jake,” she whispered. “Letting you back in...I don’t know if I could survive being hurt again.”
Tears pricked her eyes behind her closed lids as his fingers splayed across her abdomen. “I’m not giving up on us, Lily,” he murmured in her ear. “And I won’t let you give up, either.”
As much as she wanted to resist him and back up her words with actions, she found herself leaning back against his chest as a tear slipped down her cheek.
“I’m not leaning on you,” she told him with a sniff. “I’m not weak and I don’t need you. I’m just tired, that’s all.”
Rubbing her stomach with gentle motions, he kissed the side of her head. “I know, baby. I know.”
Nineteen
Jake swirled the whiskey around in the glass tumbler. Staring at the amber liquid wasn’t taking the edge off, but he didn’t want to lose himself in the bottom of a bottle, either. Right now he needed a clear head, needed to
process what the hell was going on with Lily.
Keeping his hands off of her the past few days had tested restraint he didn’t even know he possessed. But being with her on the porch, witnessing such raw emotions from her had nearly broken him. The damage he’d caused her was inexcusable, yet she’d leaned on him for a moment and he’d taken that as a sign of hope. At this point, he was grasping at anything she’d throw out.
She’d eaten dinner with him, Liz and Tyler and had gone to her room afterward. He hadn’t seen or heard from her all evening and it was nearly eleven. More than likely she was asleep, curled up in that four-poster bed he’d bought from an antiques dealer. The clear image of her dark hair spread all around the crisp white sheets had him clenching the glass before finally slamming it down onto his desk.
If he ever wanted a chance with her, he needed to be open about everything from his life to his emotions. He needed for her to see that he’d changed, he put her first and nothing would come between them again. He couldn’t let more time pass without telling her exactly where she stood in his life.
Standing just outside her door, he pondered for a minute if he should wait until morning. She was supposed to rest, after all, but he couldn’t. He’d given her space and it was time she realized just how serious he was about winning her back.
Tapping on the door with the back of his knuckles, Jake swallowed and tried to ignore his frantic heartbeat. Nerves consumed him, but being a coward now would certainly secure a future without the woman and child he loved.
The knob rattled just as the door eased open. Lily stood before him, her hair spilled over one shoulder, her eyes wide. Apparently she’d been just as restless as he had. A small light glowed from the table lamp beside her bed.
“Can I come in?” he asked. When she said nothing, he added, “I have some things I need to say.”
He worried she would slam the door in his face, a definite right she had, but she opened the door a bit wider and he realized her slamming the door would’ve been a blessing. Now his penance was having this conversation while seeing her dressed in a silky chemise, the same one he’d slid off her body many times before.
Only this time, her belly rounded out the midsection and her full breasts threatened to come out of the lacy top.
He glanced to the unmade bed, the sheets all twisted in the middle. “I’m sorry if you were sleeping.”
Lily shook her head as she sat on the edge of the bed. “I wasn’t asleep.”
Jake remained by the door because if he even took one more step into this room he wouldn’t be able to keep from touching her. Between her tousled appearance and the inviting bed that mocked him, he seriously deserved a damn award in self-control.
But he was here to lay it all on the line. Never before had he done anything so important and so terrifying.
“Damon came by the other day,” he began, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “We’ve come to an agreement to work on our relationship.”
Lily rested her hands next to her hips. “I know. I was coming down the stairs when he arrived. I listened for a few minutes, but came back upstairs. I’m sorry I eavesdropped. I couldn’t make myself leave until I knew what he wanted.”
Jake smiled. “It’s okay. He said the girls were upset, but they understood my angle and they wanted to get to know their only brother. Damon actually invited me over this weekend for dinner.”
Lily’s smile hit on every nerve Jake had. He missed that smile, missed the light in her eyes...a light he’d diminished and was desperately trying to get back. He didn’t just want that brightness back for only himself, but for her. He wanted her to be that vibrant woman he’d fallen in love with, the stunning light he’d met months ago.
“I’m really happy for you, Jake.”
“He asked if you’d be joining me.”
Lily’s eyes widened before her gaze darted down into her lap. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I told him I was giving you time to make your own decisions,” he went on, not letting her refusal deter him from his goal. “I hadn’t planned on telling you about his visit because I didn’t want you to think I was trying to sway your decisions.”
Her dark eyes came back up to his. “And aren’t you?”
“Not by telling you his choice to give me another chance.” Jake pulled his hands from his pockets, massaged the back of his neck and took a deep breath. “I’ve time, Lily. I told you to stay for a week and I’ve truly tried to keep my distance. Knowing you’re here, within my reach, has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced.”
“I know,” she whispered.
That spark of hope he’d had earlier on the porch grew stronger at her quiet confession—apparently she’d been battling the same war. Jake took another step into the room, then another.
“Tell me you’re ready to give up,” he told her, damning the tears that threatened to clog his throat. “Tell me the thought of living without what we have is more appealing than fighting for us.”
He didn’t miss the way her fingers curled into the sheets on the edge of the bed, nor did he miss her shaky intake of breath.
Her silence was invitation enough to move closer, so close he knelt in front of her, taking her hands and holding them in her lap.
“Tell me that I’ve got no chance with you,” he went on. “Because I won’t give up on us as long as there’s hope. I have to believe you’re not ready to give up or you would’ve left here before now.”
Lily’s chocolate eyes filled as she bit her unpainted bottom lip. “I can’t tell you that.”
Relief flooded him, but he was still not in the clear.
“I know we have a lot to work through,” he continued. “I know I deserve nothing, but I’m asking for everything. I want you in my life, Lily. I want us to be a family. I don’t care if I have to live in LA part of the time and we can come here to get away. You call the shots here.”
“I’m scared, Jake. I’ve never loved like this before, never been so hurt because of it.”
Easing forward even more, he let her hands go and wrapped his arms around her waist as he looked up into her teary eyes. “I’ve never loved like this before, either. That’s no excuse for hurting you the way I did, but I can swear on my life that I’ll never hurt you again. I want a lifetime to love you, Lily. I want forever to be the man you deserve and the father our children deserve.”
She threaded her fingers through his hair. “I’m risking everything by letting you back in.”
“My heart is on the line, too,” he told her. “If you walked out again it would kill me. I love you, Lily. I know when I said it before the timing couldn’t have been worse. But I love you so much I ache when you’re not with me.”
The smile that spread across her face had tears gliding down over her cheeks. “I love you, too, Jake.”
Every bit of tension and fear left his body as he leaned his head forward, resting it against their baby. Lily’s fingertips caressed the back of his neck as he breathed in her familiar scent.
“I won’t keep anything from you again,” he murmured as he lifted his head.
“I know. You’ve shown me the man you are. I want to give us another chance.” She stared into his eyes, and his heart swelled with love at the light shining back. “I do have one stipulation, though.”
“What’s that?”
Her hands framed his face, stroked his jaw. “Maybe a little scruff? I fell in love with a rugged man who turned my insides out that first night in the loft. Maybe you could not shave for a while?”
Jake laughed. “Anything you want. Besides, I’ll be too busy to shave.”
“Oh, really?” Lily lifted her brows. “And what will you be doing?”
Jake’s hands traveled up the silky chemise to the thin straps barely containing her breasts
. “I plan on keeping you in bed for the next several days.”
Her body trembled beneath his. “Well, the doctor did tell me to rest.”
Sliding the straps down, he peeled the lacy material over her breasts and palmed her. “Oh, you’ll rest. You can just lie there while I take very good care of you.”
Lily’s head fell back as she arched into his touch. “You have the best ideas.”
Epilogue
The grounds were as immaculate as always. The early fall sun shining high in the sky beamed down onto the intimate ceremony. The handsome groom held the bride’s hands as their smiles beamed off the other. There was nothing fancy, nothing over-the-top for this outdoor wedding. An arch covered with white buds and sprays of greenery covered the stone walkway, white rose petals sprinkled over freshly cut grass and a family surrounding the happy couple.
Reaching over, Jake took Lily’s hand in his. When she sniffed and swiped at the moisture threatening to slip down her cheek, Jake squeezed her hand and leaned over.
“I love you,” he whispered. The man knew just how to press on every single hormonal button she had. He palmed her rounded belly with his other hand. “I love her, too. I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
Lily tipped her head to rest on his shoulder as she watched the couple standing before her pronounced husband and wife by the minister.
Damon kissed his bride, sealing his bond with Linda. Only Tessa, Grant, Cassie, Emily, Ian, Jake and Lily were in attendance. The quaint family ceremony was perfect. Every detail taken care of by the Barrington sisters and Lily. For once Linda didn’t lift a finger. The younger girls had wanted her to just show up and enjoy her special day.
As everyone came to their feet, Jake pulled Lily into his arms. “I can’t wait to marry you next weekend.”
They’d opted to hold off on their own plans until Damon and Linda were married so everybody’s focus and celebration wouldn’t be torn. They’d also opted to marry just before her exclusive interview in ten days, which would reveal the pregnancy and her marriage all in one shocking swoop. At nearly seven months, Lily had more energy than ever and they’d just found out the baby was a girl...as they’d thought all along.
Carrying the Lost Heir's Child Page 17