by Carter, TK
I stood up straight and fluffed my hair as I clenched my teeth. Nothing in my life was different than it was twenty-four hours ago. I took a deep breath and listened to the crying woman inside of me slow to a sniffle then quiet herself. No way in hell was I about to give either of them the satisfaction of knowing they’d rocked me. I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Eddie leaning against the wall holding my drink. He raised an eyebrow at me. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I just got some news I wasn’t expecting.” I took my drink from him and chugged it. “I need another one, and I’ll be fine. Sorry, but you’re about to be cock-blocked for the evening.”
He smirked. “Let’s see . . . the most beautiful woman in the room wants to hang out with me. Hmmm . . . what will I do?”
I nudged his arm with my elbow as we walked toward the bar. “Consider it overtime, but I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“No, but your presence with me will increase my desire level by the end of the night. Every girl here will be intrigued to know what it is about me that makes you want to be with me. They’ll be circling soon—just watch.”
I laughed. “You spend way too much time watching chick flicks.”
He shrugged. “Hey, if you want to win the game, you have to know the rules, and my lot rent just went up millions walking with you.”
“Well, thank you, but I beg to differ. No woman will approach you while I’m with you.”
“Shall we make a friendly wager?” he grinned.
I cocked my head to the side and put my empty glass on the bar. “Sure, what’s the bet?”
“I’m betting that at least three women will approach us while we’re standing here in the next thirty minutes.” Déjà vu hit as I remembered the way Tony and I started our relationship with clever banter and a friendly bet. The dagger shot into my chest causing me to flinch and sway on my feet. Eddie reached for me. “Whoa, whoa, are you sure you need another one?”
I waved him off. “I’m fine—just got dizzy for second. I’ve had this . . . ear thing . . . never mind. Okay, we’ll stand here until they call us for dinner, and we’ll see.” I reached for my second drink and turned to face the crowd. Dinner. Tony said he was pulling strings to put him next to me at dinner. If she was joining him, I’d have to sit through one of the most uncomfortable dinners in my life. “Where have they seated you, Eddie?”
“I don’t know; I didn’t get that far.” He frowned at me indicating I’d interrupted his process.
“Sorry, but thank you.”
“No problem.”
Right on cue, here came a young blonde in a dress three inches too short to be considered classy, in heels that made her ankles wobble as she walked. She ambled up to the bar and slid next to Eddie. She ordered her drink then turned to Eddie and smiled. He smiled back. “Good evening. Have we met?”
She grinned and extended her hand, “I’m Erica Elan.”
“I’m Eddie Ward. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too!” She glanced at me and back at him.
“Miss Erica, have you had the pleasure of meeting Chance Bradley?”
“I have not. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She shook my hand and returned her attention to Eddie.
I smiled then chuckled as Eddie’s point was proven over and over again. After number five, I ceded the win to him and went to my table as he gloated and turned to the latest victim at the bar. I was still grinning and shaking my head when I reached my table and glanced at the name plates around my table. I didn’t see Tony or Miriam’s names, so I took a seat and waited for the event to start.
I felt him lean over me before he whispered in my ear, “He’s a little young for you, don’t you think?”
I grinned through an exhale. “Sometimes it’s fun to play with puppies.” I glanced up at Tony. “Well played, Sir Tony.”
His face fell as he sighed and pulled a chair up to face me. “Chance . . .”
I held up my hand and started to speak but Miriam appeared. “Tony, I found our table.” She smiled at me. “Please excuse us. They’re about to get started.”
I smiled back and reached for my drink as I looked at Tony. “You better run along, now.”
He stared at me with a longing that nearly drew me out of my seat. I’m certain the fire in my chest flickered in my eyes as I stared back at him and gritted my teeth. I felt my nostrils flaring as they tried to keep up with my shallow breaths.
Eddie put his hands on my shoulders and leaned over. “May I speak with you a moment, Chance?’
I leaned to look up at Eddie and smiled. “Sure,” I said.
Tony and I stood at the same time. I slid past him. “Have a good evening,” as I followed Eddie to the corner of the room.
Eddie turned to look at me with serious look and animated gestures. “Look, I’m trying to pretend I have this incredible thing to tell you, but you looked pinned down, so I just swooped in to see if you needed an out. Now, you act like I’ve told you the most amazing scoop you’ve ever heard.”
I leaned in and grabbed his arm as though I was verifying important data. “I can’t believe how awesome you are. I promise I’ll tell you everything later, but can we leave?”
He leaned back, crossed his arms, and buried his chin in his hand as though he was seriously contemplating the possibility of what I’d just said. If we weren’t fighting to maintain my dignity, I would have probably laughed at the absurdity of our actions. But, I knew Tony and Miriam were watching, and Eddie confirmed with a short nod when he glanced toward their table.
“What about the crew?” he asked.
I arched an eyebrow at him. “What about all of the la-dies?”
He chuckled. “Well, that too.”
I shook my head. “Okay, scratch that. I’ll stay until after dinner, but the minute the music starts, I’m going to take a cab back to the hotel. Rule number one: if you’re blitzed, do not drive. Rule number two: watch the other crew members. Rule number three: don’t end this evening with anything you can’t wash off or will eventually have to name.”
Eddie’s laugh roared across the quieted room and attracted the attention of the speaker at the podium. His face turned crimson as he turned his back to the guests. “Well, that just happened.”
I giggled and pulled on his arm. “Come on, let’s get this over with. Find your table and I’ll let you know when I leave. Oh, and thank you. I owe you . . . again.”
“I will collect; don’t you forget it.”
I returned to my table and extended my greetings mixed with apologies for the outburst while taking my seat. I scanned the table and waited for the shop-talk to begin. I felt my cell phone vibrate in my clutch, so I slipped it onto my lap and glanced at the text I’d received.
Do Not Answer said: She’s not my girlfriend, Chance.
I responded: Does she know that?
I let my eyes roll over the crowd and looked for the silky red mane amidst the blond up-dos and balding heads; she wasn’t hard to find. Her back was to me which put Tony to her side and in my perfect line-of-sight. I moved my chair slightly in an attempt to place someone’s head between us, but I was unsuccessful. I felt my clutch vibrate again; I slid it under my chair and pulled my napkin onto my lap as the servers made their way to the table.
Dinner was as boring as I expected it to be and equally disappointing as I hoped to spend the evening flirting relentlessly and trying to win the heart of the man I’d released into the wind a year ago. Instead, I was continually drawn into conversations about the latest news, camera dos and don’ts, greatest on-air faux-pas, and speculation over the upcoming presidential press conference in the morning. I managed to only catch Tony’s eye four times and lost my appetite after the second time. He looked completely miserable—stuck.
I tried to muster up some sympathy for the poor fellow sitting next to the redheaded bombshell, but it all became very clear as to why I never heard from Tony. When you have a distraction like that, why would he even give me a
second thought? It didn’t seem to matter that conversation with her appeared to be as exciting as kicking an empty shoebox, but hey when the words are coming out of a mouth you’re thinking dirty thoughts about, why does it matter what those words are?
One time, Tony and I were lying in bed sharing a box of tissues under a pile of blankets and taking turns getting the other one herbal tea. We were both so sick, but it had been two weeks since we’d seen each other, and neither one of us wanted to go one more day. He drove to Columbia to see me with a fever of 101 and the heat on full-blast. We curled up and talked for hours about anything that came to mind. We muted the television and made up dialogue for scenes while laughing until we sent ourselves into another coughing jag then made shadow puppets on the walls to mimic romantic scenes. It was one of my favorite days in my life.
If I had taken that job as the anchor on his team, it would be me sitting with him at the table. It would be us shining like a lake under a full moon, it would be us sitting together happy instead of staring at each other like the missed opportunity that we’d become.
The longer I sat there, the more I wanted to put as much distance between Tony and me as possible. I stood up to begin my career’s suicide and walked to Eddie’s table. I interrupted his conversation. “Excuse, me. Eddie, I’m leaving. Text me when you and the crew get back to the hotel.”
He nodded and gave me that Stuart-is-going-to-kill-you look, but I knew Eddie would back me on this one.
I took the long way out of the banquet hall to avoid walking near Tony’s table and left through a side exit in the event Tony would try to follow me. Somehow I sincerely doubted he would be able to casually leave his dinner guest without it being obvious that he was going in search of me. Which only strengthened my argument that she was, in fact, his girlfriend, and I was simply the ex he still loved.
I took a cab back to my room and kicked off my shoes then showered to wash off the grit of the night that had settled deeper than my skin. I’d been played; I’d fallen for it like a girl getting her first “check-yes-or-no” letter only to discover it was a joke.
If I miss the press conference tomorrow, I might as well clean out my desk; Stuart will never believe he’d been duped by Tony, and I would look like the journalist that bailed on the biggest story/non-story of the year. I knew there was no excuse I could give to justify the actions I was contemplating, but Florida rang heavily in my ears. If I needed to put distance between Tony and me, this was the only way to do it. After a day like this, St. Louis and Columbia were just too close for comfort.
I sent Alissa a text: I’m in for Florida, deleted all the unread messages from Tony then threw myself on the bed to start the process of crying myself to sleep again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
All I Want for Christmas Is You
Alissa
Three Months Later
One Week before Christmas
I stood in the bathroom and stared at the little bulge peeking over my yoga pants. I finally quit puking about a month ago, but the cravings for weird food I don’t even like at odd hours of the day and night have kept me working out at the gym like a mad woman. But, there was no denying the baby bump this morning.
I wandered into the kitchen, grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge, and set it on the counter. Dani was preparing her coffee and dressed for work like it was any normal day.
I stood sideways. “Notice anything different about me today?”
She looked at me. “You’re awake before nine?”
I dropped my hands. “Very funny.” I smoothed my t-shirt over my stomach. “Do you see it?”
She grinned. “Lis, you’re showing!”
I sighed. “Yes, yes I am. It’s like it was overnight or something.”
She put her hand on my belly. “You’re really showing! That’s just amazing! I hadn’t noticed it until you pulled your shirt tight around your stomach.”
“Yeah, the 28th can’t get here fast enough, now. Are you ready for your last day of employment?”
She stirred her coffee. “God, you have no idea. I’m so ready to hit the road. Is everything ready for the Christmas party tomorrow? All of the ladies still coming?”
I poured some juice. “Last I heard. Chance is in, Katie’s coming, and I think Michelle’s still planning on coming unless something else miraculously interrupts our plans like they have.”
Dani frowned. “It’s not unlike her to disappear for a while, but I’m surprised she’s holed up like she has.”
“She said she has a surprise for us, so maybe she’s really coming. I don’t know; there’s no telling with her.”
Dani looked at her watch then leaned against the counter to sip her coffee. Having her here for the last two months has been fabulous. I worried we’d be all weird around each other after living on our own for so long, but it was pretty seamless when she moved in. Her house sold within three days of being listed on the market; it was a personal record for the real estate agent. Not that they had to do much, because the buyers were already interested prior to the listing. She made bank on it, though, so she’s got a nice nest egg to start motherhood. She asked, “Did Katie ever get Michelle to meet for lunch?”
“Nope. No one has seen her since we all met here to announce the private guest’s existence. Not for lack of trying. Chance has kind of done the same thing since St. Louis, though.”
Dani nodded. “Yeah, but Chance is mentally stable.”
“That she is. But I know that thing with Tony really rocked her even if she won’t really admit it.”
“I feel sorry for her. He did her so wrong.” She turned toward the coffee pot and asked, “Do you want any of this before I clean it?”
“No, thank you. I’m supposed to be limiting my caffeine, hence the OJ this morning.” I winked.
Dani grinned. “OJ’s good for baby.”
I laughed. “I’ll be ready for the ‘your baby this week’ reading tonight when you get home. Have a good day at work, honey! Go bring home that bacon.”
“I’ll be living off your dime for the next six months, sugar mama.”
“Yeah but we’re going to have a lot of fun in Florida. It’s going to be fabulous! The house is ready to go; all it needs is three eager thirty-somethings with nothing to do but grab some sun and fun.”
“Well, have a good day. I seriously doubt I’ll work all day since my replacement is already acclimated and ready to take the reins. If I can scoot out early, I will.” She grabbed her purse and coffee. “Take it easy today, drink lots of water, and let me know if you feel anything.”
I nodded my head. “Yes, yes, I will. Geez, you say the same thing every day. Your baby is safe with me, now go or you’re going to be late.”
“What are they going to do—fire me?” She winked and waved as she put on her coat and headed out to the garage.
I watched Dani’s car emerge from the garage, ease out of the driveway and head down the street. I squealed with glee as I shuffled down the hallway and threw open my closet. Dani hadn’t wanted to bother decorating the house for Christmas since we were leaving three days after for Florida, and she knew we’d be way too excited to take it all down before we go. She’s got some weird family tradition that says all Christmas decorations must be down before the turn of the New Year or it meant bad luck for the occupants of the house, and she didn’t want to take a chance. But, I couldn’t stand it anymore. Our sad little excuse of a Christmas tree just wasn’t cutting it for me, so I made a plan to transform our family room into a Christmas miracle while she was at work today, and I knew the other girls would love it. And, who has a Christmas party without decorations?
I pulled the gifts and wrapping paper out of my closet and tossed them on the bed then went to the guest bedroom to retrieve the boxes full of Christmas decorations I’d collected over the years. It was tradition to have our annual Christmas party at my house, and it was the one day of the year that we all embraced the magic of the holiday season. Everyon
e smiled a little bigger, hugged a little longer, and dripped with the joy of the season. So, naturally, I had to do it up right. No trip to Florida could dampen this event.
I bent down to move a few boxes, and I felt this little tickle in my belly. I expected a large fart to follow as that had been my latest trick for two months, but nothing happened. I leaned over to pilfer through a box and felt it again. I sat back on my heels and put my hand on my baby bump. Tears pricked my eyes as my heart started pounding. That was the baby! I felt the baby move! I’d felt flutters. I started to call Dani but knew she would race home to put her hand on my belly and be disappointed she couldn’t feel it too, but I know what I felt—the living, growing baby that had made me sicker than I’ve ever been and sucked all my energy had just tickled me. The child forming in my womb that I’d tried to avoid greeted me. It was the most precious thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I said, “Well, hi back! Did you like that orange juice?” as tears spilled over my cheeks. I pulled open the first box of treasures. “This one is very special; this was the first ornament I got for my very first Christmas tree. Do you like it?” I sat it on my stomach as though the private guest could see through my skin.
I waited to see if the flutter would happen again, but nothing happened. I bent over to pull the other box out of the closet and felt the sweet little tickle I’d longed to feel again. I chuckled. “Am I squishing you, baby?”
My throat tightened; that was the first time I’d acknowledged the private guest as a baby—a real live baby was moving in me, connected to me. I was no longer alone. My heart swelled as I laughed and cried while holding my belly. I tried to grasp one thought running through my head, but they swooped through so quickly, I couldn’t catch one of them long enough to hold it. Tiny fingers, tiny toes, a little tongue learning how to move—the sheer wonder and magic of it all became so real in those soft little wiggles that seemed to say, “I’m here.” And, I wanted to feel it again and again.